Sometimes things happen in my life and I wonder whether or not I should mention them in this blog. I often don’t. This time, since I doubt anyone involved other than me will read it, and it is my blog I’ve decided not to hold back.
On Monday I realized I had been snubbed on a social media site by someone I regarded as at least a friendly acquaintance – I went to her wedding, we’re related (albeit not by blood), and she’s actually even getting a Christmas present from me this year (awkward). Although, it’s a humble gift and it was never given other than just to celebrate family and the season anyway…
So why am I discussing this?
Thing is, it was one of those situations where you have no idea why the person suddenly stopped being your “friend,” “follower” etc. Was it something I said? Did? Am I uncool, beneath you or offensive?
For some reason, it hurt. A lot. People usually don’t unfollow or unfriend people (especially family members) unless there’s a reason. At least, that’s been my experience… And, however minor the actual emotional connection may have been with this person or the little amount that they really knew of me on a personal level they still made the effort and took the time out their busy day to single me out and reject me. Why? I’m baffled and I hate being baffled – usually things make sense in some way.
Perhaps she was merely following the advice of uber-popular “daddy-blogger” Dan Pearce, in his anti-nice post, “35 Reasons to Unfriend People on Facebook” which seems to be about rejecting people online in an orderly manor in response to being rejected himself online in a way he couldn’t control… In any case, based on the comments from his fans following the article (who may or may not be entirely authentic), apparently a lot of people purge their online social lists on a regular basis.
So, she could be acting on some sort of ideal that you should only be connected online to the people you want to be connected to (as discussed above). I respect that. I do. However, in an attempt to figure out if I was “wrong” to be hurt I checked and it appears she’s still following other relatives who I doubt she’s that close to. Furthermore, based on what I know of her online persona I doubt she rejects everyone who doesn’t meet that criteria. And, there’s the fact that she’s unfriended and then refriended me before for similarly unknown reasons.
She could have been offended on both occasions. But, I can’t think of what by…
Maybe I posted too many photos of perfume? But, was that so grueling and obnoxious to see? Really? Isn’t that a bit arrogant – to assume that you are such a permanently urbane wit, a constantly unfailing muse or that without blemish that you therefore have the superiority to expect others to perfectly entertain or please you? Maybe she finds perfume offensive or couldn’t handle seeing it so often? But I imagine somewhere in her list of friends there must be a passionate dog-lover she tolerates. There’s always a barrage of babies and dogs on social media. Maybe I should have just had my son holding every bottle of perfume or found a way to incorporate a dog or a cat? No?
Maybe perfume seems too lavish and selfish? Well, I would hope she would realize she has no idea how much I do or don’t spend on perfume and furthermore can’t be sure I don’t give more money away than I spend on perfume. And, as a general rule, I’m pretty private when it comes to personal finances so she’ll likely never know anything for a fact unless she directly asks. It’s a personal preference…
I think that’s what I afraid of. I’m afraid that I’m going to offend people with my passion for perfume. Seriously. I could totally see it.
“She just keeps posting photos of perfume bottles. Over and over again. Gah! What is wrong with this girl?”
Or maybe… she just doesn’t like me.
It’s painful not to be liked, but there’s not much a person can do about it is there? I mean altering who you are to please people isn’t wise, and certainly isn’t worth it.
You know, I have to be honest though, part of my frustration is that she seems to be someone who likes to use social media as a venue to passionately talk about Jesus, love and acceptance. And, I’m disturbed at the thought that someone who seems to be so acutely aware of their own struggles, pain and Jesus could potentially be so quick to turn around and reject others (Over perfume?? Really? What about Mary Magdalene?). But of course, what else is new?
I’ve never been this personal on this blog before. I’m sorry it’s a negative post about someone else, but again, I thankfully doubt she’ll ever read this. I’m not trying to hurt her in return.
I think this post is coming from two places. First, I felt the need to share this for some unknown reason, and I’m not one to hold back when I feel I need to express something openly. Then, there’s the fact that this blog is often somewhat upbeat (at least for me) and I occasionally feel that I might be leaving out parts of my experience that could be valuable to discuss despite my love for fragrances.
But how does one combine everything into a cohesive blog post? Hmmm… I’m still trying to figure that out.
In any case, I sincerely hope she had good intentions I can’t ascertain. I hate thinking the worst of people, especially other Christians. And, frankly, right now I pretty much hate the Christian sub-culture anyway so adding fuel to that fire is just depressing. I could write an entire blog post about it, but I would rather think about something less depressing like perfume.
So, anyway, today I’m wearing L’Heure Bleue by Guerlain (Guerlain 1912). It’s a delicious, sweet, powdery, old fragrance from the very early part of the Twentieth Century.
I love this perfume. It has notes of carnation, but it’s so well crafted that it’s hard not to be struck by L’Heure Bleue’s beauty.
Really, I feel sort of rude and sad that this post isn’t primarily focused on the scent. It’s that deserving of awe and introspection, in my opinion. Perhaps I’ll have to do another post on L’Heure Bleue again.
I’ve read in numerous places that L’Heure Bleue was named after the time of night when the sky is that dark, opulent, unbelievably romantic shade of blue. And, as I write that I feel sick, again, that this post isn’t focused on the featured fragrance…
To be fair, some people (read reviews on Fragrantica) find L’Heure Bleue too “pastry-like” and of a certain, sweeter time in history (before World War I) but I think there’s a decent amount of people who would agree that it’s remarkable. One of the most memorable reviews I’ve read can be found here, and in light of it I wonder if my personal reflections in this post actually suit L’Heure Bleue really well….
The top notes on Frangrantica are listed as: anise, coriander, neroli, bergamot, and lemon. Middle notes are: carnation, orchid, jasmine, cloves, neroli, heliotrope, ylang ylang, Bulgarian rose, violet and tuberose. Base notes are: iris, sandalwood, musk, benzoin, vanilla, tonka bean, and vetiver.