Red Door

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Red Door by Elizabeth Arden (1989)
is warm and sophisticated.  The jasmine is gummy, with a banana-like sweetness while ylang-ylang adds a light, almost whimsical twist.  Orange blossom and vetiver are sharp.  It’s a very early 1990’s/late 80’s scent – fruity florals that are round, bright and a bit loud.

Top notes: ylang-ylang and red rose.  Middle notes: orchid, jasmine, lily-of-the valley, orange blossom, wild violet and freesia.  Base notes: honey, sandalwood and vetiver.

—-

Today, the man I’ve been married to is driving across the country with our car.  He thought driving our car himself would save us a lot of money…  I commend him, even though I haven’t been entirely sure it is/was a good idea.

Anyway, leaving me with our son alone until Wednesday has left me asking myself some tough questions.  Because of how draining our marriage has been I often feel a bit distant and that has sadly affected how close I am to our son…  It’s an awful feeling.  And he’s an amazing kid…  Thankfully he’s not very old…

See, I’m not one of those women who are just naturally into babies and children.  I value kids immensely but…  I didn’t like being a kid and  after having to be a little adult a lot as a child, I just…  it’s not some yippy skippy dippy thing to me (God bless those of you who are like that – you guys are awesome).   I know I’m unbelievably blessed to have my son and I cannot express how much I love him but I just feel so tired.  And part of that is actually physically being tired (I have hypothyroidism) but a lot of it is in my head I think…  A person can emotionally push themselves only so far before they start to rebel in one way or another.   I hope I can figure out how to bring myself to be more emotionally present with my son.  He’s such a great little person…

Ah life…  🙂

2 thoughts on “Red Door

  1. My biggest fear about having children is that I don’t know that I could love a baby like some parents do. I also didn’t like being a kid and I didn’t really even like kids then, and I still don’t now

    • I value kids but I know what you mean… The thing is, it’s like people say – it’s different when it’s your own kid. And the more you get know them the more you love them.

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