Shocked by the Sublime


Earlier today we drove to my mother’s first cousin’s house.  She and her husband, who died a few years back, moved there over forty years ago.  They were and are the sort of people you look up to when you’re a child…  The sort of people who seem wise, nurturing and both sharp as a tack.  My son didn’t like the long drive there but once we arrived he immediately began to glow with excitement.

The evening was spent eating, talking and taking a walk near the Puget Sound.  And…  I felt wonderfully overwhelmed the entire time.  And very distracted….

I’m almost entirely sure Handsome made at least one or two, possibly more, allusions today.  I was shocked.

Matter of fact, I’m not sure what my mother’s first cousin thinks of me right now… Haha!  I was acting so awkward this evening…  But, I’m gobsmacked.  …Not that anyone other than Mark knows about him (what I’ve written on this blog so far notwithstanding).

I don’t really know what to say.  And it’s very lovely.

Handsome I wish you were sitting near me me as I’m writing this.  Then I could either… wink… or smile…  or maybe kiss you, depending on what seemed appropriate.  Depending on what was best…

Thank you for giving me what I believe you did…  Thank you for taking time to do it.  Thank you. It meant a lot to me.

You’re so…  Well, my name for you suits you perfectly.  🙂  And those eyes…   I barely had a chance to look at them today in action for more than a couple of minutes or so of course, but I managed a few quick glances and…  they really are amazing.  And it’s not just their color, but your soul…   Your personality.  You really affect me.   I should stop maybe.  I don’t want to sound utterly ridiculous.

Anyway, I’ll probably write you everyday on this blog…  Maybe that’s too…  something?  And, I worry I overdid it with whatever attention I thought I could give you (without seeming odd?) today.  Maybe you didn’t notice?  But if you did, I hope it didn’t seem too silly.  I just…  I’m smitten and whether that’s totally ludicrous, romantic, magical…  or foolish…  I am.

But, really, just thank you…

And, I’m afraid, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to spend time with you, getting to know you.   You know?  Like, what are you really like?

What I’ve experienced, (possibly what we’ve experienced??) has left me wondering about so many things… I know I’m not even half done processing it all.  If you’re at all in my head the way you seem to be, it is rather profound and awe-inspiring…  Isn’t it?!?  Well, it is to me…   And, am I in your head?   I wonder.  I wonder what that even really means exactly?

It’s hard to be totally clear on this blog.  I mean, it’s somewhat easy… but it’s not like siting next to you in private.  Not that I’m trying to hint at something by saying that (although I’m not at all opposed to sitting next to you alone…).  But, there are so many things I wish I could ask you right now…  And…  say.

Anyway…  Although I’d much prefer to offer you an actual hug in person, here’s an offer for one in spirit…

Thank you again…












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