In The Shadows

A while ago, when we visited one of our cousins who lives on an island here in Washington State we were fortunate to have a lot of good conversations with her.  During one particularly enjoyable discussion I brought up how I remembered American life being more pleasant when I was a child.  I said that things seem so much more frantic and anxiety ridden nowadays.  But, my cousin disagreed.  She said that she remembered the 1960’s and 80’s when people were terrified by the possibility of a nuclear war.  Those years were just as filled with anxiety she argued…   I countered by saying that even though those years were, no doubt, incredibly fear producing that they existed in a world without the technology of today and that that technology increases our anxiety.

Today’s world really does seem like one where we rarely pause to truly ponder things anymore.  At least, that’s the way it feels to me.

I can easily recall walking in the front door after school, sitting in the living room and silently considering my day until I turned on the radio or television.  It was comparatively so quiet…  and it felt more real.   You know?  I miss that.

And yet, it is kind of exciting how we can pick up a phone or computer and feel a human connection…  Well, as long as we all remember that it is actual humans we’re dealing with.

But, I really do miss the old sensuality of daily life.  I know I’m not just romanticizing the past either.  I remember how much more vivid life seemed back then.  It was a lot easier to absorb everything about one’s surroundings…

For some reason, a particular memory keeps finding its way to the front of my mind.  It was around the same time of the year as now.  The air was still relaxed and gentle from the summer, but there was also a soft autumn chill…  The leaves were turning a bit.  And I had just started my freshman year of high school.   It wasn’t that late in the evening but it was already dark outside and there were these bright lights on in the outdoor fields at school.    I remember how beautiful the contrast was between the darkness and the light.  And, I miss that…    I used to notice.

…Tomorrow…  is Saturday.   How can that be?  My goodness.

I don’t know what to say about Mr. Blue or my personal life in general at this moment.  At all.

Oddly, I’m longing to wear smell of lily-of-the-valley and jasmine though…  Lily-of-the-valley in particular…   And I don’t even like that scent usually…   Ever.  Matter of fact, I generally hate muguet in fragrance.  Hmm.   I’ll just enjoy it I guess because I’ve always wanted to appreciate that note…

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