I’ve been making edits and revisions on this blog here and there today.  I added a few lines, and edited a few words etc.   But in general, it’s been a gloomy day.

There are feelings I’ve wanted to express, but I can’t seem to find the right phrases or set of thoughts to make sense of them today and bring order.  It’s been very frustrating.

Several plans have been mulled over in my mind though and I think I have at least some vague plan for my future…  I think.  So much for finishing a degree in history.  I’ve realized art history might be a bit better.  What I really want to do is write of course…    But I know (and have always known) that that’s unlikely to make much money very easily, so I think perhaps I’ll finish my degree with a major in art history and then pursue a career involving antiques in some way…   My second place dream job would have something to do with appraising antiques, I think.  And oh, I know, this is also a rather precarious career path, but…  maybe it’s less dicey than writing?  Maybe?  Oh dear…

The thing is, I love antiques (and I need to be emotionally engaged in my work to succeed).  I have since I was very little…  I used to collect antique bone china tea cups.  I have one really lovely, hand painted tea cup from Prussia that I particularly cherish…   It has such vibrant colors but it’s also quite delicate.  I also have a very small collection of antique and vintage jewelry, and of course my perfumes…  Among other very old items.

And I love when people message me on Instagram and ask for advice about deciding on a bottle of perfume’s authenticity or about how to find the ones that are from the “best batch.”  And, that reminds me the many sins of absence and tardiness I’ve committed on Instagram lately.  Oh boy.  Sigh…

I suppose when in the process of trying to work with a potential divorce, basically totally alter my life because of it, and trying to cope with the confusion created by a rather painful and mysterious possible harassment or romance (I’m still not sure what in the world that really was but I’m attempting to just let go), I got super overwhelmed.  I am still overwhelmed.  But I’m hoping I haven’t annoyed too many people or hurt anyone.

Oh dear.

Well…  oh well.  There’s always tomorrow, I hope…

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