Last Journal Post For a While…Promise!

I really will be back to reviewing fragrances, while I might write more personal stuff later. But my nose has been out of service, so to speak, with a cold and I’ve had a lot on my mind…

Right now though, I’m awake in the middle of the night because my son got cold and needed more blankets and then I realized I was very hungry. But that’s a typical routine lately… Ha! I wake up for some reason and then find myself eating.

I thought I’d write this quickly because my mind is now at work and I need to do something to quiet it after I’m done eating so I can sleep. I hope this post works in that regard…

I reread a few recent posts and you know I really do have an awful time editing. I apologize! I swear I make the most ridiculous typos and then I miss them again or I add something weird. Basically, I’m just not good at editing my own writing. But, either way, I will get around to editing my posts more in coming weeks…

Also, I found a couple of possible points of confusion in my last few posts.

1. I did not attend that first university (where I was in the honors program) because I couldn’t get accepted at the school out in Pennsylvania I eventually attended. I was accepted to the private college in PA in high school but my father didn’t want to help me pay for it and wanted me to attend his alma mater instead. It was where he received his bachelors degree in sociology/anthropology (the Midwestern university). …And nobody in my more extended family decided to assist me either in securing the funds for my preferred school (it was tens of thousands of dollars more a year)… So, I went to the university. But, again, I did not attend the university to raise my grades to be accepted at the private college.

2. I think some criticism I’ve received on Instagram has been due to lack of good communication. I once told someone that I couldn’t smell the tuberose in Chanel No. 22 and I think that’s when some people started doubting me more… Well, that and I don’t like much niche. And I actually didn’t prefer Bois Des Îles to Jean Courtier Coriandre.

But, Coriandre feels rebellious to me. It’s heady, and moody and a bit sad in the best way. And it evokes something in me that feels cathartic and comforting… And while I can see why Luca Turin and others think Bois Des Îles is superior to many others I don’t actually prefer it to Coriandre. It’s just personal preference. It doesn’t mean Bois Des Îles isn’t objectively necessarily “better.” But perfume is art and art can be better or worse objectively speaking but what it means to you personally…is indeed…personal. Subjective not objective.

And about tuberose: Every damn tuberose I had ever smelled, in my memory and perception, was vastly different than the one in Chanel No. 22 (up until then). Truly… And I don’t think it was lack of quality in previous tuberose incarnations so much as something else. And actually, ever since someone pointed out to me, years ago, that No. 22 is supposed to be a “tuberose fragrance” I’ve been stumped. I’ve been looking for that tuberose in other fragrances… I almost found it once in the last year but it wasn’t quite the same. Close though… But, regardless, despite what some say and claim is based on absolute, totally conclusive fact (are they really that sure though?), I swear skin chemistry and environment matter in how a fragrance manifests. And on me, at the very least, the tuberose in No. 22 somehow melds so seamlessly with the other notes that it’s very hard to individually pick it out. Well, I struggle with it anyway. And I doubt I’m just that incapable of smelling it (someone could pick it out so much better because I have a bad nose overall or I have anosmia to Chanel tuberose). Also, the person who basically thought I was an idiot for not smelling the tuberose often said No. 22 smelled sweet on them… It is not that sweet on me. Really. Really! Especially the vintage… It’s gorgeous, to be honest, but it’s not a sweet fragrance on me. It’s cleaner than that and in a lovely, effusive but warm way…

My skin makes fragrances cold. And clean. I can’t wear “clean fragrances” actually because of that (especially the actual Clean fragrances). Most clean scents smell like ugly bathroom sanitizers on my skin…

<shrugs>

So…No. 22, while perhaps sweet for some, is not that sweet on me. And again, the tuberose isn’t as clear.

<shrugs>

Now…about me being able to find good vintage perfumes. Damn it. I just do. Ok?! <rolls eyes> I’m an antique dealer after all. Remember?! And I’ve been collecting things of various sorts since I was a little girl. I’m good at searching for things… And right now it’s my actual career… I also have an eye for things. And it’s hard for me to say that sort of compliment about myself but it’s just the damn truth. I can tell what’s authentic and I know where to find it, and somehow I manage to often find bottles that have been well kept. Some can sometimes be better or worse than others but they’re often at least close to the original.

Also, America is a very wealthy and large country (and has been wealthy for a while)… There’s a hell of a lot of vintage perfume here. People had the funds to buy perfume and did so. And they often kept bottles and bottles of it… And in the Midwest we likely have some of the best considering our cooler climate… It’s all pretty simple.

But…do people really have total, flawless scientific evidence to prove that all bottles go bad anyway?! Surely they change and surely they aren’t as clear and bright as they once were but that “clearness” and “brightness” can be almost negligible in my opinion, at least. Am I just less picky about that sharpness when it comes to enjoying a fragrance? Because I can smell it but it doesn’t bother me… It doesn’t stink. It’s not offensive or off. They’re just looser less sharp notes…

If it’s a fairly well preserved bottle I find it to be like the difference between the first glass of champagne and the second. Or third. It’s not quite as good perhaps because it’s not as sparkling but it still does sparkle. And it’s still good. Really, there’s not that much of a difference from how it originally was… (And please don’t start claiming that there’s tons of time between the first and second glass to avoid my point)

At any rate, I think a fair number of people just found something wrong with me or my intelligence or my words or my so-called “stories” (I’m actually just sharing the reality of my life not some sort of fiction) or my photos…or my face…or my perfume (I could go on and on with the at times obsessive critiques of others) because I irritated them on a personal, emotional level. I think they were threatened, to be honest, and/or they were projecting their own issues on me, or they were mad at someone else who I reminded them of. But I’m not them, I’m not those other people and frankly if I seem threatening to you I have some harsh news you need to hear: There are LOTS of people in this world like me. Why haven’t you gotten over whatever it is that bothers you by now?

I mean, I am unique. I am an individual. But the things about me that likely bother you are not traits that are mine alone.

And there’s nothing “wrong with us” either (people like me). <shaking head> Perhaps something about us just makes you feel insecure? But why? Why is that my fault? Why take it out on me? And why haven’t you dealt with it already if it affects you so much? Why am I so shocking that you feel the need to deal directly with me on such a personal level? I just don’t get it.

I’m a nice person. Truly. I used to be even nicer… I do not deserve your animosity. At all! And I bet a lot of you know that. Just because I don’t put up with catty, passive aggressive, competitive, (and/or) rude bullshit doesn’t make me unkind. And just because I don’t appreciate being copied and (often at the same time) insulted by people who are desperate to find something wrong with me or be “as good” if not “better than me” even if they have to lie and make crap up or change themselves to mimic me to a potentially pathologically disturbing degree, doesn’t make me a bitch. And people have done that… Or they’ve searched their group of friends or family history looking for something to outdo me or be “as good. ” <look of sadness and disdain> And sometimes they’ve likely mixed fact with fiction when it comes to what they found. Or, of course, they just lied almost entirely… Or they delude themselves into thinking their lies are true or that their desperately contrived tokens of status are comparable. (Sorry, I’m being honest.) But of course they are not and I can always see through things.

Side note: If you’re one of these people then please don’t bother me, especially if I’ve blocked you. Ha! I never wanted your attention in the first place. I thought I was getting attention from another sort of person… And I gave you attention because you approached me and I thought you were a potentially good person, and even maybe a potential real friend. Unfortunately, due to your jealous nonsense we can’t be acquainted. But our differences never bothered me.

I don’t compete. I just am myself and I evaluate people based on who they are not what they have, their status driven accomplishments, how they look or their overall social status. Your mimicry wasn’t/isn’t intimidating. It’s extremely, unbelievably annoying. And it’s insulting to my intelligence… It’s nearly impossible to truly fake certain things. Read the damn Great Gatsby… <rolling eyes> …You obviously are impressed with me, which is flattering, but get a grip. I truly am just one of millions who you would find equally or much, much more enviable. Go find someone else to emulate who you can’t personally annoy. Someone truly famous… But here’s a pro-tip: Don’t actually stalk them.

No, I’m honest, I’m tough, but I’m not a bitch. I’m not a “rich bitch” either little annoying dearies… Maybe other people are…(for better or worse) but I’m not. Go find a real asshole and bother them with your crazy crap. Okay?