So…umm…one of my husband’s co-workers had a very strange response to hearing the news about the birth of our daughter. She seemed to be suggesting that our daughter might not “be his.”
As in, she was wondering if someone other than Mark conceived our daughter with me. …As in, this lady either made a horrible typo or was drunk when she responded to the announcement and decided to make a bad decision.
And, really, Mark and I have no idea whether or not she accidentally suggested it or intentionally did it as there’s no reason for her to intentionally suggest it that we can think of…but it would have been a weird typo. So…
Well, there’s no reason for her to think that other than what I’ve written on this blog, that is. And I guess you never know who’s bored or crazy enough to search the inter-webs stalking you???
So, truly, this has to be my last personal post, but I can’t let this situation go by unchecked. And frankly, a part of me thinks something maybe needed to be said anyway. It could be a fortunate mistake on her part one way or another.
So, just to hopefully end any false gossip otherwise: There are only two men I’ve ever had intercourse with. And between them I am 100% certain Mark is the father of both of my children. I haven’t seen the other gentleman I slept with since 2010 and he is not the father of any of my children and Mark is the only other man who I’ve slept with.
(Yup. Clearly, it’s not safe to share as much as I have online and I regret it… BUT, I have to share this because it’s possibly something people I don’t have direct contact with or even a reasonable connection to could be gossiping about.)
So, to further clarify for those who may not read carefully enough: My son was conceived in 2012 and my daughter in 2018 and I haven’t even seen the only other person I’ve ever had intercourse with since 2010. He is not the father of my children. And again, in both situations Mark was obviously and most definitely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the father.
…You see, I think people could read on this blog that I was involved with other men, during my two marital separations, and might assume, for rational reasons, that I likely was having intercourse with these men as well. I understand. It makes sense. Even my personal doctor assumed that when I told her at one of my regular check-ups about the state of my marriage back then.
But, no. I never had physical relations with any of the people I fell for during the two marital separations. I wasn’t an angel and they weren’t either but we never got that far physically. And I’m very thankful for that now, especially.
Actually, my doctor even asked me what I was waiting for. Haha! She thought it was odd that I wasn’t more physically involved. I told her it just wasn’t the right time and, again, she couldn’t figure out what in the world I was waiting for. *sigh and giggle*
But…I was soo careful about such things before I met Mark. And it wasn’t because I was a prude, or hiding some secret sexual orientation (I’m not hiding anything – I’m just a plain heterosexual) …or because I was afraid. I just…wanted it to be meaningful and right. And I can be incredibly stubborn about things and defy the norm if I feel a principle of some sort, especially one that is so personal, is involved. So, no… It might seem odd or surprising to some but “my number” is low.
Now, Mark slept with over two dozen ladies before he committed to being with me (no diseases or illegitimate pregnancies though). And he was proud of that once, but now isn’t… But, he really was a playboy (he was also a very popular member of Sigma Chi in college). …Although, Mark’s been totally physically faithful (and otherwise) since marriage…and since before that when we committed to being together as a couple.
Truly though, even if I had had intercourse with the gentlemen I was involved with I don’t think it would be anywhere near appropriate to suggest (and certainly not openly) that our daughter isn’t my husband’s. To suggest that is seemingly to assume I’m incapable of properly using condoms or other forms of birth control (etc.)…and really it’s a bit sexist. Not to mention trashy and slightly crazy, at least.
I mean, did they think I was drunk and “caught in the heat of passion” with some other guy or did they think that I’m some naïve bimbo who doesn’t know how to use a basic prophylactic? To answer: Nope on both counts. …Or…maybe they have a crush on my husband or know someone who does and were hoping that their secret dreams (that he’s somehow unhappy/unloved and available) might be true? In that latter case the answer is obviously no… My God in Heaven help us (not swearing but actual serious request), no.
Indeed, I sincerely hope that very intelligent lady who my husband works with *fake smile* was either drunk on leftover holiday wine, perhaps, and made a very foolish choice to say something stupid or is all thumbs. But, good grief… *rolling eyes*