I’d like to quickly clarify that I don’t think all women who are “Marilyns” are automatically at her point of unhealthiness. People of all sorts can be healthy or unhealthy versions of themselves. I might argue that certain types of people have more of a tendency towards specific difficulties and troubles, but that’s all.
That being said, having tendencies is a two way street. Right?! I mean…it can be a blessing too. One of my blessings is a tendency to be objective, logical and rational. I’m sensitive and certainly have normal emotions but I really like it when things make sense. It bothers me when they don’t. A lot. For example, I feel very at home with the kind of logic they use in law and indeed for many years that was what I was going to do with my life. I appreciate that about myself.
Still, in some ways I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be different. Given my personality I don’t tend to enjoy wearing things that are at all flashy. This might sound odd, but when you’re an introverted, logical gal of the variety as myself wearing things that draw too much attention are mentally and emotionally draining. I’d rather use that energy to observe and analyze. Certain clothing styles allow for that more. Certain ways of being also allow for that more. Does that make sense? I hope so. *smile* But because of that and for other reasons too, I’m generally not glamorous. At least, if I am it’s not intentional. I can be dramatic but…real glamour is different than just drama I think. You know? I mean, there’s a certain drama with glamour but…
Also I think it’s unfortunate how some people seem to think imitating someone like me or me to appear more refined makes sense, because it doesn’t. Seriously. And I’m saying that without hate. I do have a part of my identity that might be appealing in that way, but there are posh “Marilyns” and many posh other types too. Right?! I’ve known some people like that and probably still do.
Unfortunately, I think American culture is often toxic to the “Marilyns” of the world. And I’m curious to analyze that hypothesis but haven’t enough yet to say more, but I will say that I think intuitively that glamour rests on a certain impossible quality. And by impossible I mean the sort of magic that happens when you walk a tightrope or climb a mountain only in this case it’s in regard to style and overall appearance.
I think of glamorous American men and Howard Hughes comes to mind. He had deep psychological challenges too but as a man he was much more free to explore the impossible and truly push the limits in many regards without losing his dignity or feeling cheap or emasculated. He was also allowed to be evil. And by allowed I don’t mean enabled to be evil necessarily but more so people could accept that he wasn’t always well-intentioned while also not letting that totally define him.
For example, a woman who is selfish and wants to break up a marriage or tries (as Marilyn did occasionally) is unfairly let off the hook in some ways because it’s assumed she was somehow more innocent than she actually was and yet she’s also seen as almost permanently inferior overall. You know? It’s this weird combination of both overindulgence and a sort of exile.
Ironically, it does seem that finding lasting love regardless of one’s selfishness is sometimes particularly challenging for Marilyns. Not necessarily because of unhealthiness or evil either, but…maybe because of the way they are. Their impossibility. Their glamour. They push the limits very sincerely, one way or another and with all their heart.
Maybe the 1920’s allowed for moments of real equality between male and female glamourpusses in the US… Ha! Here are two very glamorous characters of that era enjoying each other’s glamour: