Floozie (rant continued)

Yesterday I used the word floozie. What’s a floozie though? According to the online Oxford Dictionary it’s: “A girl or a woman who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships.”

I’ve only been with my husband and one other guy. In today’s world that’s a very low number for a 36 year old, and frankly I wish I’d only been with my husband.

Actually, I even told my step mother-in-law that years ago and her response was, “Well, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” But…I accidentally offended her after that by not responding to one of her emails fast enough and that’s when she accused my family of being criminals.

Well…first she claimed I was after Mark’s money and “just wanted to be taken care of like his [birth] mother.” (the first wife) And when I told her I was from a family that had money within it and if I really was that terribly desperate I’d ask a relative before I’d ever asked Mark, my then boyfriend, for money her response to that was that my family must have stolen the money they have from people who earned it, like Mark. And…I. Have. No. Idea. Why. *pause*

No, really. There are people reading this who may cling to the hope that my step-mother-in-law picked up on subtle clues and figured my family out, but truly, that’s so profoundly not who we are that it’s mind-bending to even try to untangle why she came up with that out of nowhere when I tried to defend my intentions with her step son-in-law and explain her error in perception overall. There’s a reason an election for President of the United States rested in small part on the honor of one of my cousins as an elector (and they nobly did their job). And that’s just one very small example of how absurd the whole thing was for her to say.

I mean…I do have plantation owners and aristocracy in my lineage but…how in the world did she know that before she even met me?!?! I mean. Did Mark’s father do an investigation of me and my entire family before I went for Thanksgiving Dinner back then? I find that very unlikely. They claimed not to even have realized how serious he was about me at that time… *shrug* And regardless her ignorant hatred about my family’s history should have been openly discussed and acknowledged if so. Besides, that’s just one line, not everyone. Not my entire ancestry or family. …But maybe she was too intimated to be honest about what she meant? Too worried about being proven wrong? Or maybe she was just confessing her own sins??? *shrug*

But she does have an at least well-off sister who also married well and sent her kids to East Coast prep schools. And there’s a famous and extremely well-regarded horse trainer in her family. …Yet…she also grew up on a farm in Tennessee and went to the local state school for college…and then sold baby wipes. I know that part about baby wipes because my husband told me. She just bragged about how accomplished at sales she was before she decided to “focus on being a mom” and not work. She even said that she should have been the top regional salesperson but it was dishonestly given to a man. Nothing… about…baby wipes. Baby wipes. Umm…

We’ve sold honey to governors and local folks alike (the governor drove out of his way to buy it), we’ve sold our crops from our well tended and laborious fields, and we’ve worked at retail jobs that have sold things like clothes or organic food or coffee… Cars. Cattle. Oil. Words on a page. Gold. Land. Stocks. *thinking face* Labor for corporations that use our minds, knowledge and experience to profit. Some people have cleaned houses for friends or neighbors when times were the toughest or when they wanted to help people (sometimes both). Some of us have been in indie films or on popular television shows. In pageants. Television anchors. Sold antique or vintage items (me and another cousin both). Girl Scout cookies. Wrapping paper for school fundraisers?

But…I don’t think over all the many years anyone has ever sold something intended to wipe a baby’s bottom after it poops. …And then amazingly bragged about that employment and tried to even use it dishonestly to make someone feel inferior.

Now, in my family, we’d not automatically judge people who have such a “position” in the world. No. *shaking head* And while I automatically suspected initially that my step-mother-in-law married my (older) father-in-law partially for his money I kept that opinion to myself. Why? Because I’m a real feminist. And I’m not about to shame another woman for just doing her best in a world that’s unjust to women in general. I might even think she’s greedy but I’d never assume that my father-in-law didn’t know what he was doing when he married her (unless given very sound reasons) and I’d never have painted her or her actions in such broad brushstrokes of black and white overall.

But…I’m not insecure. I’ve thankfully never been an insecure person. AND while I had one day in the middle of a fight when I briefly and distantly considered staying with my then boyfriend Mark for his money out of a sense of overall hopelessness about almost everything it’s never been my intent otherwise. I have stayed with him in the past because I made the choice to be a stay-at-home mom and transitioning away from that would take time financially so as not to cause chaos for everyone, but that’s certainly not the same thing. And I was trying to actually leave but then changed my mind about our relationship for unrelated reasons. It’s never been about the money for me.

No. And I’m truly sick of people projecting their own shit and lies and pain on me and in some cases my entire family. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Or don’t you know how to hear a no and respect it? Maybe that’s why some people hate “The Orange Man” so much? They’re reminded of themselves? *shrug*

But, I’m not orange either thankfully. More dark blonde…

Anyway. Just…stop. Ok? All of you. Stop.

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