Ten Years Later

I met Mark in November of 2009, Mark and I started dating in January of 2010 (I took the picture above in December of 2009), and we became very serious in the fall of 2010. Then we were married in the summer of 2011.

All of the next ten years we spent together even though we separated twice. I stayed even through both separations to keep things even keel for my son. Someone very wisely recommended that to me at the time and it was excellent advice. Both times Mark and I worked through our issues and reunited.

Mark and I are good friends besides being husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend. And, while we had a very difficult start we’ve continued to work through it.

But, 10 years ago Mark and I became a couple and as I write that I’m reminded of something a smart friend once said (the older sister of the friend below on the left), “I mean, when do you count the start of your relationship? Is it the first kiss? The first night you spend together? The first date? Or is it when you first start having feelings for each other? And is it possible to even remember when all those moments happened perfectly?” The idea being that it isn’t something you can start neatly with stop watch. It happens when it happens and it’s intuitive and, of course, has to be truly consensual.

Based on that, my relationship with Mark started in January of 2010 after our first date. Mark had given me a hug goodbye after our lunch at an Asian fusion restaurant. I looked forward to hopefully hearing from him again afterwards yet I was resigned to whatever happened. But, he started texting me less than an hour later (extremely unusual behavior for him after a date) and it was wonderful and we made plans to see each other again. And again. And again. Despite the pain and troubles we just didn’t want to ever truly say goodbye to one another. We still haven’t.

After our wedding one of my cousins from the West Coast visited and brought the family clock and cute Delft Blue salt and pepper shakers as she was on her way back home from visiting our relatives in Norway. She’s at the far right of the photo above, I’m in the middle and Mark is on the left (in my mother’s old kitchen and the lighting is bad).

(In this photo I’m wearing my 1930’s platinum and diamond ring shown below. This ring is now somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Ha!)

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