Midnight Romance (Repost)

(Update from 2020: I wrote this back in 2016. At the time I was separated from my husband and had feelings for a man I called “Handsome”. Ha! But no real relationship between and “Handsome” and I ever transpired and I regret any interest I had in him. It was a total disaster of semi epic proportions. However, I can say that my relationship with Mark was ultimately much more complex than I had anticipated in this post and we’re still married. Are we in love? I like to think so. Some love just doesn’t die, I guess? Ha. At the very least we’re trying to make our relationship and marriage work and he believes we’re in love and are even soulmates. *smile* Perhaps we are. And lest you think this is one of those “love changes over time” stories it isn’t. It’s more like love can be so deep that it’s quiet and hidden in great pain and has to reveal itself over time.)

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Midnight Romance (Ralph Lauren 2014) is perfectly named.  The opening of a cool but tremulous litchi and bergamot flanked by a sweet and sentimental raspberry is indeed romantic.  Wet and embracing peony and freesia hold confident presence next to a sensual jasmine.  Into the drydown an elegant iris and pretty vanilla soften the florals into a delicate hum.

Top notes: litchi, bergamot, and raspberry.  Middle notes: peony, freesia and jasmine sambac.  Base notes:  ambroxan, iris, and vanilla.  


My mother and father had a very close friend (not a relative) when I was growing up that I called my “aunt.”  She remained a close family friend until about five or six years ago.  I have often suspected that she just eventually couldn’t quite cope with the fact that my parents separated, but then again…

She always claimed to adore me as a niece, and I think in some ways she did really care, but at times she could be cruel in her assumptions  (at least from my perspective).  For example, in college when I told her my woes in regard to guys she told me that I was “trying too hard”.  I still don’t even know exactly what she meant by that…  It had something to do with trying to look pretty though because she referenced that specifically and said that I should realize my occasional acne wasn’t why guys didn’t like me and just “stop trying”.   (She couldn’t figure out why they didn’t like me and offered no advice but seemed to think all my reasons were foolish.). Apparently, I was supposed to completely give up on looking nice or something and then it would all work out? Men are drawn to an unkempt mess? I’m not sure…

She also thought I had never really been in love or liked anyone I said I liked.  She thought I was just in love with the idea of love…  She thought I just, “wanted to be loved.”   I assure you I had been in love and did actually like the young men I claimed to. Her extremely condescending dismissal of my experience was very hurtful.

But then, when I met Mark and later married him she was mysteriously furious because she thought I had neglected her.  She thought he had “replaced her” and I didn’t “need her anymore”.  Those were her exact words. And that was when it hit me that there might be a problem. How was her relationship with me at all threatened by a serious romantic relationship and marriage?   That was also around the time she decided to end her relationship with our whole family…

So…   I’m not sure what her “deal” was (truly).  But I know when I heard that she thought I was just in love with the “idea of love” it definitely made me think.

However, thankfully, I don’t believe she was right…  I know my own heart and mind quite well.

Love is so complicated (duh, right?!).  For one thing, I think there are different levels of love…   And I think love can grow or die.  I don’t believe it’s just an emotion.   I think that love is almost more like a separate entity (but not really).  It also exists in a context…  So, for example, there were guys I knew who were likely “really good for me” but the initial love (and no I don’t mean just lust) wasn’t there for us.  However, had there been that first spark of love I think that that love between us would have grown with time…  And then, there’s Mark.  And sadly, with him, as I’ve said before (many times now), the love was there at first (for me) but died over time.  (And it truly died...  I mean, it was a brutal experience to fully accept slowly and painfully over months, and years how impossible things have been between us.)

I think one ideal is to find someone who you fall passionately in love with at first, and then grow into a deep, quiet, sincere and abiding romantic love with over time (and if the passion remains then that’s fantastic)…   I think that, albeit a very rough sketch, is the combination that comprises true love.

I know it’s possible.  I’ve seen it.  Ironically, my “aunt’s” parents had that kind of relationship.  They  both loved each other in a real and very deep way and it kept growing and changing with time…

No, I’m not just in love with true love but, at the same time, why the hell wouldn’t I want that?!  Anyway…

🙂

Finally, if you read this Handsome, well…  I *blow a kiss* your way (hopefully that’s not too awful).   I hope your week is ending well.

And, I hope everyone’s week is ending well…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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