You know along with a long list of other pet peeves I’d like to add one: signature fragrance bashing/bullying. For a start, people stealing signature fragrances bothers me the most. But you know that’s just the same problem other people have manifesting differently. That problem being not knowing yourself well enough or not appreciating your actual self well enough to know how to find a signature fragrance in the first place. Sometimes those folks become condescending about having a signature fragrance at all thinking they’re tapping into some new trend by believing (or claiming to believe) the entire practice of having a signature is “old fashioned” or “tacky”. It’s not. It’s a very, very old, long-standing, fun practice that may or may not jive with certain people’s sense of things (or be fun for them) and might be used by tacky people to seem chic but it is not inherently “wrong” somehow.
Then there are people who are narcissistic and try to find some way to make their signature “better” than everyone else’s. Arguing with people who are caught in a cat-chasing-tail narcissistic internal spin is often totally futile. So, oh well.
Then there are people who think that there are lots of rules about how to pick your signature fragrance other than the only one that I would argue actually exists. It has to be original in a certain very specific way (it depends on the person you ask what that even means), cost a certain amount, be worn less or more in this way or that way. But no, no, no. The only rule in picking a signature is this: pick a signature fragrance that truly suits you. It should reflect your core self honestly and it should smell the way you want it to smell. For some that means smelling “weird” and for others it might mean smelling very “traditional”. For some that might be smelling good in an objectively good way and for others it might be smelling…like overly ripe fruit.
The key to finding a good signature fragrance (should you ever decide you want one) starts with accepting yourself in a moral, respectful, and responsible way. And then if someone else has done the same work to find a signature fragrance let them have it. Don’t steal it. Don’t try to copy it. Don’t belittle it.
After settling on Chanel La Pausa as a substitute for my beloved but stolen and ruined signature of vintage No. 22 I’ve finally landed on Frederic Malle’s Lys Mediterranee. I shared that to Instagram today (admittedly grieving and on-edge) and I unfortunately ran into what appeared to be a few subtle insults about my choice within a few hours. Perhaps one or two of them were unintentional and I feel bad if I misunderstood. Perhaps they all were intentional, in which case, *shrug* sorry I’ve moved on and found a new signature fragrance that suits me possibly better than any other signature fragrance I’ve ever had. Maybe my soulmate, if I have one, would even approve. I’ve received heartwarming, lovely and thoughtful compliments on it already (partially why I chose it- I want to have a signature that smells nice on me with my chemistry).