Jo Malone English Pear and Freesia (especially combined with Wood Sage and Sea Salt) is what I wear when I want a pleasant interaction with someone I don’t know. Doctors, service industry workers, etc. Whenever I’ll be in a room where my scent might be detected I wear Jo Malone because people love it on me. Or at least they seem to. I also seem to put people at ease when I wear Houbigant Orangers En Fleurs. But…these aren’t entirely “me”. I could almost wear them as signature fragrances but not quite…

Frederic Malle Lys Mediterranee is my signature fragrance. It’s as close as I can find to an olfactory expression of my soul.

…And then other days I don’t wear much scent. Or if I do wear fragrance it’s something meaningful but not “me”.

Hi I’ve always wanted a signature style. I love creating and I’ve always thought it’d be fun to have my own little quirky look. But…at almost 40 I’m realizing how impossible that is. We all have our own unique tastes if we’re aware of ourselves and honest. So we all inherently have our own unique thumbprint style-wise… But…I can’t wear heels when I hike and I love hiking.

So…I propose a rule of three. 1. A sub-style used for practical purposes. 2. A sub-style used for expressing our inner selves. And, 3. A sub-style used for enjoyment. All with our own unique “look” finding its way in each.

Intriguingly, Lys Mediterranee works for all three. But anyway, it wouldn’t have to to be a signature fragrance… Regardless Jo Malone is one of my “practical” fragrance houses as it’s useful in interpersonal relations. Vintage No. 19 is an expression of my inner self. People may or may not “like it on me” when they’re cutting my hair or we’re both sitting in an Uber. Etc. etc. It’s all pretty neat and tidy and obviously goes beyond scent. My next watch purchase will fit in all three categories…

….Anyway, this way (with my rule of three) it’s all kept honest. No more moments when I wear L’Heure Bleue and feel guilty for not wearing it more or weak for not daring to wear it at the dentist’s office as dental hygienists are always nicer when I wear Jo Malone. They never “mistake it” for Bath & Body Works or give me that look of mild disdain I sometimes receive for other scents (and no it’s not that the other fragrances smell “bad” so much as people don’t want to smell them on me in certain situations for some reason they’ve never explained). Actually, in my skin English Pear & Freesia is maybe even often mildly uplifting to others around me in most situations as I genuinely think people smile more when I wear it… Therefore it’s actually kind of practical. Easy.

By the way, ironically or not, Baccarat Rouge makes people grumpier around me when I wear it. And as I don’t love it (even though I genuinely respect the brilliance behind it) I don’t think I’ll add it to my collection…

…Also: I had a realization today. So…years ago I felt hurt on Instagram when people (literally over a dozen) kept on communicating to me through their incessant passive aggressive jabs for years that I wasn’t who I actually am. I’d post something expressing my genuine identity either from a family gathering or etc. (or a selfie) and they’d label it pretentious (in some way or another) or they’d pick it apart as if my real life and real self was all faked for the camera. And besides being profoundly hurtful it’s insanely narcissistic and dumb as rocks to accuse someone who’s minding their own business and posting scenes from their real life of being fake (Even if you’re “secretly” being fake yourself?). So, I tried to state who I was and am in a factual, intelligent and thoughtful way and then use that as a way to suggest we all lighten-up in the fragrance community (regardless of where we all stand in comparison to who I am) and just try to enjoy our mutual passion for fragrance instead of comparing ourselves to each other. I was blasted openly by one anonymous hater (who twisted and vilified my every last word) in response to the post and bullied passive aggressively for years by almost everyone else in the online community… Oh well. The thing is…I wasn’t ever being fake. Or pretentious (Look up the official definition of that word if you don’t know how to use the English language as an actual pretentious American.) …A lot of people are fake online, but I’m not (The only “lies” I told were lies of omission about how happy my marriage was in 2015 and I think people took my admission of that at the time waaaay too far and thought my admission of that meant soo much more than it did about my entire self?). I’m quirky in my level of honesty online, I guess… But anyway, I think it was other people (like I’ve said before) who were never being clear or honest about their anger along with other things. Maybe they’re insecure and/or repressed. Maybe they’re… *shrug* I don’t know. I don’t know. I’ve tried to figure it out over the years but I don’t know. What I do know is that Baccarat Rouge always smells good on my haters. Ha! And that’s not an insult to them or the fragrance. It’s not even about skin chemistry (lest you think that I’m implying that) so much as their personality or mindset or style…or something. *smile* (So does Nahema, but Baccarat Rouge is more popular.)


So…if you’re a “hater” reading this buy a bottle of Baccarat Rouge if you haven’t already (and can genuinely afford it). Buy one! Wear it! (Or continue wearing it.) I can’t wear it anymore than I can figure you out but…as someone who appreciates the mystery of it all…my hat goes off to you. You smell amazing. Or you should… Just a genuinely helpful suggestion.