Digging For Radium; For My Fans

It’s hot! Let’s cool down.

Here are some saucy conspiracy theories for the “super few.” The “common elite?” The “new norms”? The “populist-polarizers?” The truth-seekers? …How about more accurately: just for the fun of it.

I was just on Tik Tok. It’s fascinating, so wrong, so right, incredibly silly, pure evil or just good fun totally depending.

My great-granduncle helped run a very popular newspaper for Scandinavian-Americans for decades in the 20th Century (when people read the news). He was co-editor-in-chief. They avoided politics in some ways, if I’m not mistaken, to be pleasant. To be peaceful. And…ironically he was also a huge teetotaler. *laugh* The writing he was eventually knighted for discussed the destructive effect of alcohol. He saw alcohol as a scourge for new immigrants…specifically Norwegians…but I’d bet he’d expand on that concept these days to include all new immigrants. He was my paternal grandfather’s maternal uncle. He was the great-uncle of the father who raised me, which is why he’s my great-granduncle.

Now on to the “crazy” stuff. Because truly…what you just read was fact.

Theory One:

Michael Rockefeller was recruited by his family to join the Asmats to learn what they really knew about Aliens. Specifically alien technology and culture. Those photos you see on Tik Tok of “the white guy” from the 1970’s are real. He spent the rest of his life there contacting his family through telepathy to report back what he learned. He was eventually killed in the 1990’s when the tribe grew tired of him but he managed for over a decade to be on genuinely good terms with them.

Also, basically, he was miserable and so decided to leave Western Culture. His love life wasn’t going well and in a psychic experience in a ritualistic sex orgy in 1959 like the ones depicted in “Eyes Wide Shut” he saw a vision of a beautiful woman. And she was very beautiful indeed with large brown eyes and delicate, elegant features. So he decided to go back to the Asmat to find a way to talk to her, guessing that they could help him. It seemed better to live with the Asmat and try to contact her spirit or find her planet than to rot away in a decaying, increasingly lonely society.

The Asmat respected his wishes when he swam back to them like the true athlete he was. …They tried to find her. Turns out she wasn’t an alien… She wasn’t alive either. But they couldn’t say more. *shrug*

But he’d been under the impression that she was dead all along anyway… A lighthearted, dead bird. Like Hitchcock hinted to him and later tried to hint at on-screen.

“She’s dead.” Hitchcock observed in 1959.

“She’s never been born.” said Elliott Roosevelt shrewdly, also in 1959.

“Lacey may be that woman.” Lem says sarcastically interrupting this theory with annoyance as he rolls his eyes. He’s lost patience. Understandably.

Theory Two:

The Kennedy’s weren’t a part of the Illuminati until Jack won the Whitehouse. And getting J. P. to “shut-up” was top priority after the 1960 election because he seemed extremely untrustworthy. But it backfired. Because the more he was silenced the more the family lost its way or at least struggled in positions of power.

Jack lost control, slowly. Bobby felt betrayed. Rose thought it was sad, tragic and yet a bit hilarious. And they felt overwhelmed by the depths surrounding them…

And in a bullying, evil crowd…Jack felt genuinely forced to sacrifice someone. Because he was caught either raping Lem or being in a relationship with him…and, either way, they decided to blackmail Jack. “Pick one!”

And what were his choices? Sacrifice Michael to the water or the “savage-cannibals”…to “appease demons”…or let the U.S.S.R. possibly blow-up a school secretly being sponsored by the Americans within the U.S.S.R.. And he felt that sacrificing a Rockefeller was less evil than “letting the Russians” “accidentally” blow-up a school.

…And when the Rockefellers found out they were livid. Not because they wanted Michael saved in lieu of a bunch of schoolchildren but because they knew that none of it was real. And they knew that these evil bullies were possibly just trying to find a way to both terrify Jack and kill Michael. So they quietly investigated it. And they found out Jack had had little empathy in regard to Michael’s impending death, going so far as to say, “He’s not my brother. What do I care what some darkies in the jungle do to a dumb, rich-fuck with a fascist last name.” …And years later when they found out the evil bully’s plan to kill JFK in alliance with lots of other people…they felt bound and unable to stop it. Especially after the death of Marilyn Monroe. Arthur Miller wept in private after her death for the rest of his life and they once witnessed it in person…

Part of the reason some “old timers” take Trump so seriously today is or was because he reminded them of Joe Sr. and they didn’t want to repeat the same mistake.

Happy hunting? Or not.

Not everyone is lying…”Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don’t mean a thing to me.”

…”Good song!” says Zelda.

“Actually, I like it too.” says Scott.

“It’s not about me. Or my feelings for you.” says Lem somewhat indignantly to Lacey.

“You know it’s not about me.” says Michael.

“Maybe it’s about me.” says Harold Loeb. “I was very beautiful.”

“True.” reminisces Zelda.