Advice

“Sex with your wife is better than sex with other people.” says Bobby Kennedy (brother of JFK). He genuinely means it.

Are you still reading? *smirk* No? Then *”Shake it!”*

“There are some notable caveats to the notion though.” says Arthur Miller. He means that in a horrible marriage falling in love with someone else can happen in a fallen world and honestly the sex you have with the other adult you’re in love with might be better than the sex in the broken, toxic marriage.

And that’s probably all true.

“That wasn’t my marriage.” says Bobby. (meaning the toxic one Arthur Miller describes)

Probably true.

So while Lem Billings figures out why he’s he was (edit by Michael) a slice of pizza on the ground in relation to Lacey’s homeless heart…and why Elliott Roosevelt’s ex-wives held Lacey at gunpoint on a train metaphorically speaking (“possibly” metaphysically speaking too – “edit” by Patricia Peabody Whitehead Roosevelt)…let’s explain a few things.

If Lacey’s father was born in 1894 she might not have been the “most popular person” had she been raised by him, so to speak…but she would likely have had many more friends. Real friends. *Lauren Bacall looks sad*

The thing is…if he actually is her father…he actually is her father. And considering who he was…and maybe still is in a way…it’s not insignificant.

“To say the least.” says Bobby.

The thing is…Lacey’s possible father was brilliant. And different than men today. He was the epitome of tough. The definition. And heterosexual masculinity. But he was a sensitive, artistic man too. He was capable of comprehending such things…and it didn’t magically “make him gay.” …If men like that “don’t exist” as much anymore and/or haven’t for a while it explains how even in 1983 Lacey’s possible mother was flabbergasted and quickly smitten. He was a debonair man with the “vibe” of J. P. Kennedy except with dark, sensitive, old-money brown eyes.

“We would be a lot alike.” says Joe Jr. in reference to Lacey.

In a way he’s right.

…The thing is Lacey’s possible father was good friends with Humphrey Bogart. Actual good friends. And with Lauren Bacall too to some degree. And with Clark Gable and Carole Lombard as well. And his sister had a haute couture clothing boutique that catered to the Hollywood elite. She was very gifted with fashion and was an excellent seamstress.

*Coco Chanel nods her head in agreement* and it makes Lacey wonder if her possible aunt knew Coco Chanel. Or at least if Coco Chanel knew of Lacey’s aunt.

When Lacey was little she’d spend endless hours drawing dresses. She loved dresses… It makes Lacey wonder about a great many things.

“Someday Lacey plans to extract blood from her dead father-who-raised-her’s corpse.” says an important member of the Illuminati. “She won’t drink the blood like we supposedly do. But she’ll use it to conduct tests, you see.” *she laughs*

*Lacey smiles*

“Well. That’s all for now.” says Tonette.