Last night got late. But it was fascinating to write. To “think it through.”
“You better get your tarot cards ready. I’m on my way over.” said an older woman in the Illuminati teasingly. Via telepathy. To Lacey. Of course…the idea is that…Lacey is very bad at it. Whatever it is she’s even doing. *laugh* Was that Shirley MacLaine or some other lovely woman? Or was it a dead person? Lacey’s Great Aunt Evann?
(Lacey doesn’t use tarot cards.)
Of course the idea is also that Lacey, while able to talk to ghosts, is upsetting them. *Michael laughs* Perhaps this person doesn’t think one should disturb ghosts.
“Even if you are one?” asks Louis. “I understand what happened with other men who Lacey slept with after Lem.”
(The conversation has jumped back to that)
“She still doesn’t believe it’s even happening. In reality.” says Elliott.
“Actually, I understand it better than all of you.” says Mary. This Mary was married to Bobby Jr. for a long time and had kids with him.
Lacey wonders if that’s true. Lacey was pregnant with her first child and struggling with a very emotionally distant (then) husband. By his own admission he struggles more than most people.
Lacey’s ex isn’t a malignant narcissist or a sociopath. But some have wondered as he’s charming and…yet…can be totally cold when you need him. He once sat and watched for an hour at age 17 as his girlfriend threw-up from drinking too much alcohol in a bathroom at a party, never checking on her or doing a thing to help. Never asking if she was ok even once. Nothing. He just sat outside the door listening, aware of what was going on and nothing else. And he’s put Lacey in that sort of situation countless times. Worse than that.
The thing is…he eventually tries to do something to help. Long after your heart breaks but not in a way that would fully end the relationship or your life, hopefully. …Like…he was an excellent lifeguard and actually saved someone’s life…so if you explain what you need he’s there to give it to you willingly. But sometimes a person can’t explain all the logistics and you need someone who’s just able to see what’s happening and react. Normally. Empathetically. And he struggles to do that.
And…he’s not…actually sociopathic, seemingly. Tests, counselors, etc. have never suggested he’s that genuinely “heartless” so to speak. And he claims to care. But he just freezes. Paralyzed in a state of no active concern shown.
(Edited to add)
“People are going to think he’s mildly autistic.” says Louis to Lacey. “And I’m not sure he is either. But it’s not specific to Lacey or his first girlfriend. It’s just his-he’s-“ *he pauses to think*
“Some people reading this are so ugly and hateful inside that they’ll understand that initially but then chose to lie and try to sacrifice me to Baal or a fake Allah to get rich. Literally. They’re like vile, mindless, angry peasants from Hell who think I look tasty.”
*Demons listening laugh at the cruel, sociopathic humans who pretend to care to get information to attack people with. People who “threaten them.”* It’s…just like Hell. *fond demonic smiles*
…And when you’re pregnant…it’s particularly emotionally difficult and you sometimes are vulnerable and need help when you can’t specifically ask for it quickly enough. And…towards the end of her first pregnancy…as her body began hypothyroidism and she could have died during childbirth for reasons unknown to her at the time…Mary’s ghost started talking to her.
Lacey didn’t know it. And she heard and saw nothing. But she read a plethora of news pieces about it…and it moved her on a deep level… It grieved her spirit. It deeply affected her spirit.
“Oh dear.” says Evann. But it’s too late to stop writing now. “No, keep going.” Evann says.
…Anyway, Lacey told Mark off at some point back then. She told him that she wasn’t going to be like Mary. She wasn’t going to let that happen to her. And then since she felt something paranormal in her gut…she added, “I think her ghost doesn’t want me to!” Of course, Lacey assumed it was a sort of charity on Mary’s part if ghosts exist and she was sensing her presence. Like a way of…helping anyone alive who she could relate to. Nothing more. All other theories seemed silly at that point.
And now Lacey is confused. Very, very confused. But regardless in regard to sex, the standard was set by men like Bobby Kennedy Jr. long ago. Jack too. Men secretly determine which sex “counts” and which sex doesn’t “count” and women whether they acknowledge it or not…only put up with it.
(Edited to add:)
…Margaret Atwood and Lacey don’t necessarily get along. Mostly because Margaret Atwood hates Lacey for intellectual reasons. She thinks she’s a sell-out or a “tool of Hell to ruin other women.” She thinks she’s uncool and repressed. She thinks Lacey’s secretly in love with her. So…if it’s not just a demon impersonating Margaret Atwood *” Shake it baby!”* says Elliott humorously.
So…Lacey is…vicious. She takes no prisoners. In just battle.
*Elliot cracks up laughing*
“It’s not that you truly don’t care or sleep with lots of men. You just don’t wait around hoping for the best longer than your heart and pain allow. You refuse to be used. And if you suspect you were being used you’d never sleep with that man ever again.”
Louis may have talked with Mary to better relate to Lacey.
“Lacey wouldn’t sleep with men at all before a permanent union unless you thought men required it to genuinely think straight, not be confused, and not be heartbreakingly controlled by evil whores of all genders and races.”
“Ouch.” says Saoirse.
…”I’m beginning to see why some people don’t want to believe they could die. It’s not Hell they’re worried about but Hell.” says Meatloaf?
“She’s not a player. What she does is a reaction to players. She lets them fall on their own sword and either learn something or destroy their evil. Hopefully not themselves.” says Louis.
“Funny how she’s not sleeping around now that I’ve settled one possibility as entirely mine through God.” says Michael.
Lem is in denial. In some way.
“Maybe I can help him!” says Margaret Atwood. Lacey thinks that’s a bad idea. She’ll let God sort that out.