…”Never suppose that in any possible situation, or under any circumstances, it is best for you to do a dishonorable thing, however slightly so it may appear to you.” —Thomas Jefferson (1785)
….It’s dishonorable to sleep with men outside of a God ordained commitment. Lacey knows this. Very much.
But men are worse or as bad as demons at times. At least today. And…as a feminine, non-abusive, non-controlling, genuinely submissive woman who waited with…near literal saint-like honor for marriage until the age of 24…it became suicidal. Because it’s not natural to sexually starve a normal, healthy adult to psychological death. And that’s what she was dealing with. That’s the world that was given to her. That’s the world we live in…A nearly psychologically impossible one to live in as a functional adult. Too polluted to not die of thirst without being willing to purify urine and drink it in some form.
“Where were the Christian men?!”
“Dead!” says Steve J.’s father. “Almost all of the men who she could have had a normal, healthy relationship with were dead! She didn’t just sit around picking her nose or screwing every man who she met like a whore or snubbing all of the men either. It felt like she was living in a wasteland without any hope of genuine happiness or deep connection.” He realizes he’s shocked people. “But she didn’t ever tell people any of it. It was too scary and too weird.”
“Ahh the Space Age!” says Louis. He thinks that if Margaret Atwood was a real feminist she’d be throwing-up by now.
“People don’t often want to give me the empathy required to see reality. But I respect admonitions nonetheless.” says Lacey speaking of most people in general.
“To a point you appreciate admonitions. To a point!” Then Louis looks at Lem. “Right!? It’s…so complicated. All this stupid sex and love crap?” He laughs. “It’s- *he shrugs* it’s far too complex to really understand. It’s best left to the professionals, right?” He laughs again. “Why think for yourself beyond an initial touch and giggle while you’re molested? Because it’s all progressively more Hell from there. Right? All that silly stuff?! That stuff you only talk about but Jack dabbled in? The gross shit with the chicks?”
“She should have gotten married at 17.” says Evann.
But no one was really doing that in 2002.
“Or 23. Or 24.” says someone else.
“I wanted to. But that’s not what Millennials generally did.” Lacey says. “Unless they were very conservative or they got pregnant or etc.”
“I know.” says Louis operating under the grace of God.
“Well, I’m still hurt. And I don’t think you realize how men use you to hurt other men.” says Lem.
Lacey sees a tiny, translucent, dark gray ball dart across her room as she writes that.
“And you think it’s better the other way around? It’s more honorable to let me fend off the entire Kennedy clan?” says Lacey to Lem.
“Every man in that family who feels…attached to either of us?!” asks Lacey. “That’s my problem to solve since you’re dead and I’m alive…and you were the super-secret-official-victim and I’m not?”
*In Purgatory Meatloaf pretends to be chasing himself*
“I’m probably just hallucinating.” Lacey says ironically.
“Or being harassed by the Illuminati.” says “cable-dude.”
“Is it the oil or??” age asks.
“It’s me. They just all want a turn to screw me in the afterlife.” says Elliott Roosevelt. “And no. If you’re not on her list unless you’re literally Van Johnson or F. Scott Fitzgerald she hasn’t slept with you if you’re dead.”
*a former prostitute from Seattle laughs*
“And on that silly note we’ll end for a while.” says the rather successful, 20th Century, former pimp from Seattle.
“Not so fast!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “You’re missing the point. Lem are you really so petty, dumb and childish? Are you really so lacking in reason and mental agility? Or are you being controlled? And if you are being controlled that’s what hurts her the most. Because she can’t tell if you’ve betrayed her for eternity or are being kept silent by evil living humans.” He stares at Lem. “I wonder if you realize how abandoned you’ve made her feel? Is she cast off from your love and stuck with me or Van or Harold or…Hoe Jr. or…Lou?!” He smiles. “Or did Michael save her?” He goes on, “You’ve got to realize that she’s a damsel in distress not a grand mistress of the night.”
*The prostitute from Seattle laughs*
“That’s the premise we understand.” says Lou.
“And apparently you didn’t?” asks Peter. “She’s still at least somewhat alive.”
“Her list isn’t that long. And frankly they’re all men she’d spend literal eternity with. Don’t forget the premise, Lem. She’s not Jack-“ her voice breaks. “And it’s wretched to have to even say that at all.”
*The pimp smiles at how innocent and bourgeois and wholesome and…moral he seems by comparison. It makes him laugh at his own haters who weren’t admonishing him in his day but truly trying to destroy him. And then he feels sad because he’s dead. And he knows.*
“It’s not the money it’s the money. It’s not Hell it’s Hell.” says Meatloaf.
Lacey can’t stop laughing with the former black slaves.
In reference to the White House, “Oooh this is nice! Girl! All this is you right here?!”