Vile

Just because Jack might not have been straight doesn’t magically make him inherently good. Just like black people aren’t magic.

If Lem was straight and Jack figured that out…when Lem hadn’t figured that out about himself…because Lem was psychologically traumatized and vulnerable…Jack was being deeply evil. …Genuinely evil by not helping him more and instead deciding to manipulate and use him to feel…happier. Just because it’s two people of the same gender doesn’t make rape impossible. And that highly toxic myth that it is…is part of the reason I’m enraged. Tentatively enraged. Righteously so.

Sniveling, misguided gay men who got attached to the romantic narrative set forth by David Pitts and won’t let go for ugly reasons…will have to get over it if Lem wasn’t gay. Or even bisexual. If they die someday and find out…they can’t alter reality just because they liked the fairytale and want it to be true.

“But I’ll be surrounded by a bubble of bliss and tranquility then and not living in this harsh, cruel world (with people like you implied) so I’ll be able to handle it. I’ll wait. And if I’m wrong I’ll deal with it then. I just think it’s really disturbing how like…obsessed you’ve become with this. It’s sick! You’re a very, very sad person! And I don’t like to think people like you even exist.” The gay man feeling superior and comforted marches off in a huff.

The thing is…truth matters. And if that man’s security and identity are so challenged by genuine inquiry and questioning…posed by possible demons or ghosts…to a living human…that’s what’s sad. Not being able to handle the possibility that a celebrity relationship was…secretly entirely vile despite the attempted whitewashed-semi-progressive-clean-up…is infinitely more problematic than most would either allow or seemingly understand today.

If Lem wasn’t attracted to men…he was a possible adult sex slave to a man who chose to remain closeted to gain power. Jack might have used Lem’s psychological issues to have gay sex whenever he wanted with a desirable, loving, discreet man who would keep his secret. Out of “friendship.” *eye-roll* Out of mutual disgust at what they were doing…but disgust felt by each for very different reasons.

And…Jack became his own worst enemy. He fell in love with his victim…because they had sex and he…just loved him. But the victim…carefully chosen…would never and could never truly love him back.

How ironic. How fascinating. And frankly, how much more fascinating is that interpretation than the saccharine, plot hole ridden, obviously confused or ignorant in some way story we’ve been given? It might not be what happened. *shrug* …But…what if it is? Or what if it’s closer to the objective truth than what we’ve been told.

The undoing of leaders is always fascinating. Their rise to power is epic…and then you see the cracks. You see where they’ll stumble.

Some adjust and try to correct. But…if they can’t for reasons of tragedy or ego…or both…the fall is wretched but enthralling on a human level. It speaks to the entirety of humanity. Everyone’s desire for power over something. Power over evil itself…for some. And we all have the capability of falling.

“He doesn’t realize that he’s not homosexual. And I tried warning him, *snicker in his head* …mostly. *a mischievous smile lights Jack’s face* It’s sad. He is ruined. I mean, some girls might not mind. But would a girl he could love ever not mind at least some? His life is already ruined. He’s right. What if…what if I keep it a secret? Even from him in a way. I’m really this deranged. I’m not normal. And I was just born this way unlike him. *he closes his eyes in pain to keep from crying* If I can keep him happy enough, it’ll be my secret. He’ll never fully understand. He just can’t wrap his brain around it…and I can. *sigh* Oh well. He’s not as important as me. He’s just not. It’s a harsh truth. But that’s how Dad made it for us. My dad keeps secrets to make himself happy about stuff like this…I’ll keep this secret. I can handle it.” – Jack (not verbatim but close?) in the 1930’s.

…And Lem acted the part. To himself; to everyone. …And nobody thought he was odd or phoney at first glance. …Except

“Nobody would ever make that mistake? And certainly not a rich, old-money-type in the early 20th Century. That’s…so unlikely. And unlikely means impossible!” *Shaking head* “Don’t trust your intuition or spiritual sense of concern… Lem wasn’t acting! He wasn’t! He seems completely gay to me! And I’m gay so I should know better than you! Because you’re a…straight…white…conservative…mentally-ill…breeder… *laughing coterie of gay men listening* And that’s…not the story! That’s not the way it was written by the author!” *huff* “I know literature! You’re an ignorant permanent little girl compared to me!!!” *huff* “People and history aren’t that difficult or complicated or challenging. It…isn’t… You’re vain! And evil!!!!”

Not all gay men are so brainwashed though. And…attached. In love with the possible myth? Right?

“Your god is a myth!” an atheist who believes saying that will put Lacey in her proper place yells. Because he can’t shoot her in the face like he’d like…but he can try to narcissistically abuse her using her empathy, genuine intelligence and conscience.

???

Whether Ken Lay is behind it all…or thought the idea that he was…was intriguing to entertain…don’t turn Lacey into a sappy Oprah to disregard her wisdom that scares you. If you feel ugly or poor or stupid or patronized stop reading.

Just. Stop. Reading.

*wink*

You’re God or he doesn’t exist? Are you sure about that? That’s what you want for your soul?

“We can’t fix this.” says Sir Paul McCartney.

“Nope!” adds George.

It’s all poetry and noise… Jazz doesn’t exist either. It never did. People weren’t that…sophisticated in the colorless, stupidville past. Right? They were sexless shrews and misogynistic bastards who ate dirt for dinner. And they never made huge mistakes or invented anything profoundly complicated.

“Oh well!” thinks some bourgeois jerk in self/soothing narcissism.

“I’m not your friend…or anything.” sings Jack.