Ghosts of a Future Lost?

…I tried to be helpful. When I was 20. I encouraged my mother to leave my abusive father.

But now…I regret it. Not because I want her to have been abused…but because she refuses to apologize for anything she did to create the chaos and misery of my childhood. “But I’ve already apologized!” she indignantly says as if I’m morally in error. Deranged. Evil? Mean, certainly. I’m sure she thinks I’m very mean and selfish to have asked for an apology as a literal Christmas gift. If I don’t vividly recall her one-time-only (very) theatrical apology from years ago then *shrug* that’s apparently my problem according to her.

“You were raised soo poorly!!!” *eye-roll* scorns a hater with violent pride as they shake their wannabe superior ass.

I wish they were off together still “figuring things out” like the (covert) cool-kid Boomers they still are. I’d probably rarely see them…but I wonder if they’d both be genuinely happier. Sometimes helping is gallant and sometimes it’s…tragic.

… …

“I love how your house looks like The Breakers!” says a wannabe under-80 cool-kid hater in their head. *they giggle at their joke in their head*

That’ll show me!!! *huge awe-inspired gasp*

“That I started looking for a warning sign.”

Oh the sad irony of their grossly narcissistic melodramatics. *eye-roll*

I could try to explain the different types of wealth in America. I could. But since my fascination with Poland was deemed offensively stupid to a “professional-smart-man” in 2007…and…my pontifications about the issues in America surrounding social class were sooo sooo offensive – a depressingly sad and worrisome obvious sign of my supposed narcissism, idiocy and ignorance – I’m done. And those are just two of the more hurtful and irritating examples of what I often experience.

If I have a Charismatic-Christian gift of “the word of knowledge” as someone once told me I did…and it’s morphed into…something else?…then…I’ll let it be for me. Me and my family. Unless I really think it’ll help you. And that you should be helped I’ll remain silent in regard to this topic. …It’s not the eternal salvation of Christ.

Basically…be careful. The cracks are treacherous if you fall in. The tracks can break your back when the train runs over your spine. …Kids matter. Truth matters.

Don’t worship nothing. Don’t worship a human either.

Don’t attack me unless you’re really sure. See you when we’re both dead???


My next post will be about perfume. 🙂