Last night I had a dream involving mold. And an old clock on a wall in a department store?

“When am I ever going to be loved?” asked Louis as the clock was adjusted and then the glass was put back in place.

“But I thought you were madly in love with your wife?” questioned Lacey.

And that’s the problem…

Lem can’t get over the presence of the other men. He’s wildly enraged by it. But he can’t see how caustic and toxic his “legacy” is either… And Lacey cares too much to patronize him.

“There’s a widely circulated photo of your ass with Jack grinning triumphantly over it as if it’s his ass for eternity. It’s extraordinarily simple math, Lem.” explains Lacey to Lem.

“I was grimacing though, if you look closely. I was very uncomfortable in that photo but I forced myself to try to be ok with it. I took the photo to appease Jack.” says Lem.

“To appease him?!” asks Lacey.

Lem stares at her. Blinks. Almost smiling.

“You don’t ever seem to get it, Lem. She’s not trying to judge you for your real problems. She’s trying to figure out why you care about her…at all. Actually, if you even do remotely care…at all.” says Louis.

“You seem like a potentially snobby, privileged, arrogant gay male ghost sadistically torturing her. Cruelly mocking her deep, tragic loneliness to feel like your life was superior.” says Dorothy. “She’s a 30-something living in 2022, Lem. She has logical reason to wonder if that’s all you are, even though she chose to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“She’s trying to assuage her guilt!” yells Red at Lem. And he’s been telling him that the whole time when Lacey says she’s sad.

“Yes. Red has hit on Lacey too.” says Louis.

“And I refused him… Does Lem even know that?!” asks Lacey to Louis.

“Possibly not.” says Michael.

“Do you want me to make love to Louis and be stuck with him for eternity? Is that your idea of Heaven, Red?” Lacey asks Red.

Louis laughs.

And Jack can’t help but laugh too. He still seems about 14 for some reason.

“He doesn’t get it, Lacey. Lem doesn’t get it.” says a seemingly hot and exhausted Joe. Did Joe try to fight WWII in the recent heat wave? Possibly. Literally.

“I’ll pray for grace for you.” Lacey says to Joe.

Red is silenced. For a moment at least.

But poor Louis.

“Dear God, who do I belong to?” wonders Lacey.

Michael smiles. She’s always in awe of his mixture of compassion and loving self security.

“That’s what I want. I want someone who sees who I am and is most smitten by my character.” says Louis.

“Well, it’s your character and manliness combined that’s so attractive.” says Lacey objectively.

“Don’t patronize me.” Louis says seriously, almost caustically to Lacey.

“I’m not patronizing you. Am I?” she answers.

“Am I really that manly?!”


He thinks.

“Thank you for taking me seriously.” says Lacey to Louis.

“You’re not supposed to give me that compliment. It’s also an insult to Lem.”

“Oh well.”

“Do you hate me?” Lem wonders seriously to Lacey.

“Almost. You sometimes seem very stubborn. It’s impossible to get you to understand certain things until you want to. And I find that both terrifying and humorous…but…also heartbreaking. The thing is I’m not a man, Lem. And is that what you want?! Because I don’t function as your boyfriend. I can’t emotionally be your boyfriend. Do you understand?” Lacey explains.

“This is what I worried about.” says Louis.

Michael smiles.

“Well, they’ll always be a Paris.” says Harold.

Lady Duff laughs.