Sorry Orson Wells

Lacey apologizes to Orson Wells.

She can’t find the post he’s talking about. She’ll have to find it later.

But that’s the thing.

She gets “crazy” ideas.

And Tik Tok inspires her.

…What exactly is it tonight?

This popular template:

“I am not the girl that boys date. I am the girl that is pretty enough to sleep with. But not pretty enough to brag about to his friends.”

Lacey’s gut reaction to this at first was to think it was true for her. But…then she realized that that’s not the case.

Lacey at 38
Lacey at 30
Lacey at 27…
At 24.
Lacey wasn’t ever one to take body photos. Not out of insecurity but for lack of caring…
Lacey and her ex-husband
Lacey in Seattle.
Pouting the day before she had to leave England. That she had to leave England.
Creepy moment…but a decent enough photo.

“I am not the girl that guys date. I am the girl that is pretty enough to sleep with but no one does…and when they do they almost never move on. Ever. Any guy. Ever. Even people who have only imagined being with me but never were don’t often truly move on.” says Lacey.

“That’s not what this is in reverse. No!” says Michael. “I know what you’re thinking Lacey.”

Orson Wells laughs. He still wants to read that post.

…“Lem, Michael is reading my thoughts. So is Louis. Dude…what’s going on? Huh?” Lacey asks Lem.

Michael smiles.

Lem seems…unsure.

“Why? Why are you unsure?“ asks Lacey.

“I fell asleep with the room spinning. I closed my eyes and fell asleep-“ he trails off. “I didn’t know-“ He seems overwhelmed. “I thought you’d be easier. It feels like Hell. It isn’t. For me. But it feels like it. …Because I can’t stop you from doing anything. And yet I can. And I keep thinking about the room spinning… And the moment I died. Then there wasn’t anything between us but your eventual death. And I guess basically, I can’t imagine why you’d pick me. And I don’t want to take you away from a man better than me. And ruin eternity for you. I was such a failure. Such a failure.”

He smiles.

“But I want what’s best for everyone. You. Me. Michael. Everyone. Literally. Everyone. And that means that if you and I are the best for each other we’d be ruining everyone else’s eternity by being with them and not with each other. If you’re supposed to be with me…as bad as you think you are…things will only get worse for everyone if you aren’t with me. Including for you. And certainly for me too. You have to be selflessly selfish. And so do I. But I don’t know how to.”

“That’s why I’m here.” say both Michael and Louis.

And Lem finally understands it. Finally.

College