A Sleepover

Michael has decided that he and Lacey are going to host a best friend sleepover tonight. Lem is invited and he has his own room, as per usual. Harold wasn’t invited. Neither were Joe or Elliott. *shrug*

“God I’m sorry for talking to demons or ghosts. If you’re not allowing this.” she says. And no, she’s not being flippant. She’s being ironic at worst. Hopeful at best.

“You’re-“ starts Michael.

“I’m here too. Sorry!” says Louis who’s sulking in the corner. “My dad forced my way in.”

Michael smiles sympathetically. Instant best friends!


“So, Lacey! Who was the first boy you ever kissed?” asks Louis, barging in front of all of the other boys.

“I kissed a boy when I was eight. He hated it.”

“I kissed a girl when I was 12. She smiled.” Louis says.

“I like your story better.” says Lacey.

“I like my story!” says Lem.

“What’s your story?” asks Lacey.

“I kissed you. As a ghost.” Lem says.

“Are we best friends then Lem or are we just friends?” asks Lacey.

“Uh oh!” says Louis, sensing trouble in his midst. “Let’s be kind!”

“You’re right, buddy! That’s the spirit!” says Michael.

“We’re lovers. Not any sort of friend.” says Lem.

Louis gasps. “This is trouble! We’re all supposed to be your best friends, Lacey. And best friends with each other too. Right, Michael?”


“I’m her bed partner. Which means that we’re only best friends on Tuesday’s. And Wednesdays. But today is Tuesday soo.” He rolls his eyes and throws himself backwards as if he forgot. “I guess Lem is her best friend tonight. Or you?” Michael decides.

“Well, yeah! Because Lem isn’t playing by the rules.” says Louis.

“So I’m sleeping with her?” asks Michael. “Because it is Tuesday. That might be technically incorrect.”

“But you’re her lover?” asks Louis of Lem. He’s confused. “Everyday?”

Lem nods silently.

“Why can’t you just be my best friend?! Isn’t that the absolute ideal?” asks Lacey of Lem. “Then we’d all be best friends.”

“Lacey! Don’t be so critical!” Lem says.

“Of what?” she’s asks.

“Of me!”

“How are you being criticized?” she asks.

“Because I’m more honest than them. And you have no respect for it. All I’m saying is that I’m your lover. And that’s so much more to me than just a friend. Or a best friend. Or anything other than my relationship with Christ.” says Lem.

“Gee that makes sense… And you know, come to think of it…I think I’d rather be her lover too. No, I totally agree with you Lem. And I should have thought of it first.” says Louis. “I can be stupid at times. Doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

“Well, that’s touching but I’m already in bed with her. I’ve called dibs.” says Michael. “I’m her lover tonight. Not her best friend. Sorry!”

“Or have I called dibs?” asks Lem.

“You have your own room! Isn’t that enough?!” asks Michael.

“It’s Tuesday.” says Lem.

“I could add my two cents too.” says Louis.

“Do you suppose people don’t realize how close lovers can be?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. Isn’t it sad?” asks Louis.

“I’d rather take your bed with you and call you my wife for eternity, so to speak, than have my very own room.” says Lem to Lacey. “I want Monday, Sunday, Saturday, Thursday and Friday. Not just Tuesday and Wednesday.”

They all smell Lacey’s perfume. Think for a moment.

“Man! Does anyone want to be her best friend anymore?” asks Louis eating a cinnamon candy, he’s shoved in his cheek.


“I mean, I could pretend.” says Michael.

“But that’d be lying.” says Lem with conviction.

“So I have no best friends. And yet you’re all each other’s best friends?” she asks.

“Yeah…the best friend slumber party is ruined, I guess. Gee whiz.” says Michael with some sadness.

“I have something better in mind than that.” says Lem smiling at Lacey.

“But that’s what I want from her.” says Michael.

Silence. And then the swish noise of cinnamon candy in Louis’ mouth.

“Tell you what! How about we ask God who gets to be her lover? And the rest of us love her as our sister-in-Christ. Because we are all siblings in Heaven in a sense.” says Louis.

“That’s so 1980’s.” says Lacey.

“That was mostly a horrific decade.” Lem agrees.

“But that’s how it works.” says Michael. “And that’s when Lacey was born.”

“True. Well…I’m going to watch a few more minutes of Manhattan. And I’ll let God figure out the rest of it.” Lacey decides getting ready to leave the party.

“You don’t need to worry about it. You can’t belong to everyone. But I can still be your best friend. Friend. Right? My desire for you doesn’t matter. Because I’m dead. And I’m being savagely perfected, or I already am.” says Louis.

“Right. But your desires matter to God.” says Lacey.

“Yes. They do.” says Louis.

“I’ll go watch Manhattan.” she says.

“And I’ll wait to meet someone I’d kill to fuck.” says Lem in a rage.

“Don’t worry! We’ll still eat popcorn, curl each other’s hair and plan the end of the world.” says Michael.

“You guys aren’t going to sleep with each other?” Lacey clarifies.

“No!” says Lem.

“No.” says Michael laughing.

“No. And that’s not the sort of relationship we have. We’re all best friends.” says Louis.

“I wish he had a male best friend so he’d understand the difference.” muses Lacey, off to watch “Manhattan.”