Jackie O.

I’m back to this again.

I just don’t understand how anyone can honestly say she’s not a rare beauty.

Jackie had a large nose. And she wasn’t the curviest of women. …But her nose was elegant and so was her body. I mean her face and her hair? Her eyes and mouth? Rare beauty. …And frankly most of the people saying this aren’t nearly as attractive or beautiful as her. …It’s absurd.

*eye-roll*

What…is…wrong with people?!

“Do you think I’m hot?” asks Michael.

“I think you’re delicious.” says Lacey.

“But you think I’m one of the most handsome men to ever live.” says Lem.

“Yes.” she responds.

Lem finds this all very funny.

“Don’t be mean! I relate.” Elliott rubs his forehead.

“Do you think I’mhot?” asks Michael.

“Yes.” Lacey responds.

“How hot?” asks Michael.

“Extremely hot.”

“I’m not going to be hurt by that.” says Lem.

“Why not?” asks Lacey.

“It’s comforting. You think Louis is…like an angel. Not literally. But you adore him. Just as a person. He’s epic to you. …But I’m me. And you can’t forget me. I’m me.” He smiles. “And Harold is like an impossibly perfect man. And Michael is…what? Glorious?” He smiles. “The fact that you don’t know if you’re going to Hell for this, regardless of the reassurances you’ve had supernaturally and otherwise, but you still persist…”. He shakes his head no. “I’m in excellent company.”

Silence.

“You’re looking for a permanent Adam for eternity. That’s your true ideal. Something profound. And you’re open-minded but your ideal is a rare man. Which means, I should be myself.” Lem says. He smiles.

“I’m so confused.”

“I know.” says Michael.

“I know too.” says Lem sadly.

Regardless, anyone who says Jackie isn’t beautiful in a rarified combination of both avant-garde and classic beauty…is wrong or lying.

“I bet people would say I’m not hot.” says Michael.

“Me either.” says Lem.

“Well…you were buff.” Michael points out. “And that’s a very important feature these days. And tall too.” says Michael.

“Is Lem your ideal height?” asks Harold Loeb.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“But you’d be happy with me.” says Louis.

“Yes.”

“I just wish I knew why you all like me. I get so easily persuaded that I’m just mad. But my God-given logic saves me.”

“Repost our fake interview.” says Michael.

“It’s missing.”

“You need to fix your blog, but okay. …I love you.”