Settling

“Are they ghosts or are they demons?” asks Lacey.

Silence.

“The thing is, I can’t decide. I can’t decide who I’d belong to if I died and they were and are ghosts. ….And so as a way to test the spirits and let it be whatever it really is…I’m going to stop writing these conversations for a bit, at least. And in that time I’m going to ask God for His decision. Who’d He’d pick. …We’ll see.”

And in the meantime, not out of hatred for queer people but out of irritation at fake nonsense I’m going to list a few things I find suspiciously not straight. And yes, this is inspired by incorrect information suggesting otherwise that I saw on Tik Tok.

1. …While I’m sure so-called “dick pics” are horrendous in their lack of respect, presumptuous presentation and overall lack of good taste in general…they aren’t…inherently gross unless you find the man himself gross. …When you’re a straight adult woman you like adult men. And really that last sentence should be enough to cover all the reasons why the idea of a picture of a man’s body wouldn’t be offensive in and of itself…but apparently it’s not? Like…adult women who believe they are straight…are grossed out and made anxious by photos of naked adult men? *confused shrug* No. That’s odd to me. …Why? …Why are they so grossed-out?! …I’m a cis, straight woman and to me they’re not gross unless the man himself isn’t a man I find attractive. Then it’s just very embarrassing on an empathetic level or it’s borderline rape if he’s being violent. …But if I was dating a man I can’t imagine finding it too “in the wild” and therefore offensive as the woman said. And no, seeing photos of him vacuuming isn’t sexier. *eye-roll* No! *eye-roll* Being cared about is essential but…it’s not…in lieu of finding him attractive.

2. Being able to easily manipulate men is suspicious. Unless you’re heavy on the narcissism or have other psychological disorders…it’s actually really difficult to disengage well enough to at least be fully manipulative. Maybe if a woman was out about being bisexual or otherwise queer it’d be harder then too? But I think for closeted or confused queer women because they already have something to hide they instinctually are better at being conniving. They’re already going into the relationship under false pretenses…so it’s easier to calculate it all further. Plan. Premeditate. …Whereas for truly straight women and men who aren’t being evil or mentally unwell…it’s so much harder to not be vulnerable at least somehow. More of you is being automatically revealed.

3. It’s difficult not to want to fall in love when you’re healthy, an adult and straight. No…it’s not to heal a traumatic childhood necessarily. No…it’s not to avoid something necessarily. No…it’s not. It’s real. …It’s a natural longing in an adult. …There’s a valid reason most cultures have frowned on people who can’t be loyal or get married. …As part of the fallen nature of man…and survival of the fittest…signs of mental health and sexual viability in regard to procreation were prized.

That’s all for now. Did I offend you?