The Trouble With Life And Death

…If Lacey is talking to ghosts…she dreamt of Michael. It was his face she saw. Not when she woke-up but during the dream in her younger days… He’s taken his glasses off for her several times and every time he does…he looks familiar.

“He looks…familiar?!” asks a Christian.

Yes. It’s unclear why aside from the dream.

It’s possible that he’s exactly what God created me for. I’m his Eve. …But it’s unclear if we’ve lived together before or not. I doubt it. It’d be Christianity if it’s true at all, so to speak. But it’s unclear.

Actually, here’s an interesting thought: Any Christian theologians reading this blog should answer the question of whether or not reincarnation is possible according to the Bible.

…I’ve watched born-again, Bible college educated Christians debate about the veracity of the possibility that reincarnation is hinted at in the Bible. Not the sort of reincarnation that has any purpose in regard to our salvation or is even necessarily important to focus on…but still the sort that physically exists. …I highly doubt it is in the Bible. I think it might even be heresy… But, I don’t know. *shrug* …Is it possible? I’d error on the side of caution and wait until Heaven to find out unless someone can provide clarity.

…Except…if it does exist…Michael and I were married. Not Lem and I. And while him and Lem look alike…Michael is apparently the one I’d have been married to. …And yet, it’s seemingly possible I misunderstood…and Michael has always just been Michael. And it’s just a period drama in conversations and they feel that Michael is the most authentic for the role. …Lem might disagree with that though. And Louis might not care.

…But if Michael is my other half why is there a Lem in the conversation, so to speak? Or a Louis?

Well…again…provided they aren’t demons…it’s because Michael hates how painful my, Lacey’s, life has been. He feels…guilty, even. Not because he’s God. Not because he could have saved me. But because he feels like I deserve other options than just him.

“Elliott is tall!” he says.

“Lem is sexy.” he says. (No he isn’t attracted to him)

“Actually, Harold is sexy.” corrects Lacey.

“Oh, is that right?” laughs Michael.


He looks at her with a certain sense of ownership. He’s either certain she belongs to him at least somewhat…or he’s a demon who really is the equivalent of a spiritual leech. It seems more the former, but Lacey isn’t infallible. No…

“Louis is…strong.” he continues. “Incredibly strong.”

Louis smiles.

“Let me try Lem again. …He’s…your lover. Or you’d like him to be. Possibly for eternity.”

…”Joe was absolutely perfect. But he took you for granted as he waited. …You woke up to his face, by the way.”

“Did I really?” Lacey doubts it for accuracy’s sake.

“And I’m…you. You’re me, is more like it. Unless God sees otherwise, I’m your Adam.” He looks sad. “I’m sorry. I know you love Lem now. Deeply.”

“If you’re not a demon lying, what about Louis?”

“If I’m a demon Louis will destroy me. For eternity. And Lem will laugh as he watches. And Michael won’t care about me at all…”. He looks at her. “But I’d care. Michael would care. About you. Because if I’m not a demon…this is unusual.”

“And I can’t keep torturing any of you.” says Lacey.

“It’s our job to decide.” says Louis.

“Then please decide.” says Lacey.

Louis smiles. “I told you that you’d not be content with anyone as much as you are with me. Years ago. That could still be true…”

Lem stares at her. He’s seething.

“I’m sorry, Lem.” says Lacey.

“Don’t get on a plane for a while.” says Jack to Lacey.

“My next plane trip would be to Boston.” says Lacey.


“Well…we’ll see.”

“What in the world is that about anyway?!” asks Lacey.

“If none of us are in Hell…it is harder on the living than the dead. …And you’re right. If we are ghosts…it’s…”

Someone laughs.

“I can’t fly a plane for a while.” says Joe.

“It’s not right, but it’s now or never.” sings someone.

Lacey looks confused.

“I’d choose you. I’d rather be dead than not be with you. Or someone God allowed before we could be reunited.” says Michael. “Do you love her that much? She’s asked you so many times. So patiently. She’s recently gotten sick and scared her children with her sickness trying to find out.”


“I can’t go back to how I felt before, there’s…” sings someone.

“It might be a punishment or he might be exhausted.” says Michael.

“We pray a lot.” says Louis.

“You can get tired?” asks Lacey. “And no, I wasn’t conjuring anyone when I got sick. I got sick by not taking care of myself and by being unwise.”

“Possibly. God can do whatever He wants. Some people might enjoy getting a work-out or getting sleepy and taking a nap.” someone answers about people getting tired.

“She got sick very romantically.” says Scott.

“We’ll figure it out.” says Lem not having heard the previous conversation.

Lacey is irritated for many reasons.

“If I make them leave…you’ll be stuck with me.” Michael says, knowing Lacey understands now a little more. “And you can’t even fully see me.”

“That’s not the point.” says Lem. “And speaking of points…I need to stop making myself- I need to stop insulting you by rejecting myself. If you love me…I must be mad to not love myself too.” He says to Lacey as he looks at her. “You-you don’t know me from what’s been written about me. And that’s not fair.”

Michael sighs.

“How can you keep being so friendly…when you hate yourself?” asks Lacey.

“Because I’m not like you. I don’t see my faults and my strengths all at once. I just see my faults. And then when I’m around someone nice…it feels like maybe I can be loved if I just put my best foot forward. If I work at it.” Lem explains.

Lacey looks sad. Michael can’t help but smile. He wishes he wouldn’t. But he loves it…

And as Michael sits in a muddy huddle among the Asmats as they dance around him in a circle…triumphantly…he feels terrified by God. The God of the universe. The God who created the universe, that is.

“The God of Adam and Eve.” says an Asmat.

Lem closes his eyes.

“Stay away.” sings an Asmat woman worshipping God as a warrior.

“You’ll have to take all your evil and strangle it to death slowly and then throw it into Hell, Lem.” says Lacey.

“If we aren’t demons you’ll know. God will tell you. But you might have to be quiet about it. For your sake.” says Louis.

“As long as I know.” says Lacey.

“Your novel will have to be far more opaque.” says Scott.

Zelda scoffs. Lacey laughs in response to Zelda.

“She’ll have to be more opaque, unless God likes her transparency.”

Michael pauses.

“DON’T GET IT TWISTED!” Michael bellows into Lem’s ears causing him to bleed.

“He’s not as playful as us.” says Carolyn. She laughs. “You can’t hurt people Lem and then pretend it didn’t happen. Not anymore. Stop humoring her. She needs to hear the truth, and if that means she’s too hurt to love you anymore then God will have to give you grace.”

“Funny…you’re famous people but really you’re just people. Or are you?” asks Lacey.

Lem cries. “You’ve been hurt by demons pretending to be me. And you’ve…been hurt by me too.”

“Ice cream?” asks Louis.