Chocolate Cake

“So he stumbled into your vortex…through a fascination with the Kennedy’s? Probably because he admires them. And is trying to find his identity in the American upper-class.” says a self-titled seer.

Lacey feels the cathartic nature of his words.

“You need to lose some weight, by the way. I can sense that.” he says.


“You will. Don’t worry.” He thinks. “Not that that’s of grave significance.”

He grows serious. “See, here’s where I feel like crying. Why did he chose Pat?!”

“I wanted something simple.” he said.

“But you regret that now?” the seer asks.

“Yes. And no. I don’t know what I want, to be honest. Isn’t that pathetic?!”

“Is it because Pat’s there and you like thee…immediacy of that versus not now?”


“But isn’t Lacey really special?” the seer asks.

“She is, and that’s why I regret it.” he says.

“Wow, that’s dumb.” says the seer. “I’m sorry. But Joe you’re being dumb.”


“So you were praying for her?” asks the seer.


“And now you’re…just her ex?” he asks.

He refuses to explain that.

“So she was shifting to a new love.” says the seer. “And that’s when the Illuminati hater pounced.”


“Why?!” the seer asks.

Louis laughs.

“Okay. So apparently he was too tempted to resist?” the seer asks.

“It seems so. But why?” asks Lacey.

“I think you just answered your own question, my dear.” says the seer.

“It’s the Catholic idea. Of community.” says a popular American. “Joe gave in and so so did the Illuminati hater.”


“Somehow if you’d spiritually sensed that you were loved in some inexplicable way…unconditionally in Heaven…you’d have felt what?” asks the popular American.

“Like a nun. But a content one. Waiting for Heaven.” says Lacey.

Lem tries not to laugh.

“So you could sense his growing lack of interest?” asks another seer.

“If any of this is to be believed…then maybe. It has been building for years though, if that’s true. And I kept waiting to be wrong.” she said.

“Because you love being wrong.” says Elliott.

“Yes. He was…too arrogant. Too conceited. Too superior. To notice me.” says Lacey.

“Even if you’d been born in 1926?!” asks a perfume hater.

“Yes. He found me attractive. But that wasn’t good enough.” says Lacey.

“How so?”

“He wanted the princess of the Third Reich. The daughter of Hitler. A buxom, beautiful platinum blond.” says Lacey. “Not Hitler as we know him now though. Hitler from before the war.”

“And she didn’t exist?” asks a black man, empathetically.

“No. I’m pretty but not that kind of pretty. And I think he wanted that kind of pretty.” says Lacey. “Look at Athalia.” She thinks. “Look at Marilyn.”

“But Pat isn’t that?” asks the seer.

“No. But she sees herself as nothing much.” says Lacey. “Aside from her social credentials. And willingness.” She thinks. “Maybe a little beauty.”

“So he wants a woman who feels she’s nothing special for reasons grounded in her physical reality while alive.” says Kate Hepburn.

“Sure.” says Lacey.

Katharine thinks. “Why does he want that?!”

“Because he feels he deserved an enormous amount of privilege in regard to marriage. He felt he deserved the best. The absolute best.” she thinks. “And that means Hitler’s platinum blond, buxom daughter or a lesser woman who understands that Hitler’s daughter was…his rightful queen.” She thinks. “Who understands that she’s not…quite…right.” She thinks. “Someone meek and certain of her inferiority.”

“So you seemed too confident?” asks the perfume hater.

“I’m too pretty. But in a way he both likes and doesn’t like.” says Lacey.

“Did you feel too maternal?” asks an Englishman.

“He didn’t notice.” says Lem.

“I still can’t believe that.” says Joe Jr..

“You can’t believe she’s more your father’s type than yours?” asks a Boomer woman.

“She’s so beautiful though. I could love her. Just as my own man.” says Joe Jr..

“Like the US Presidency.” says another Joe.


“God isn’t someone to defy.” says a ghost.

“What are you going to do now?” asks the Boomer woman.

“She can’t be with either of us.” he says. “It seems.”

“That’s the choice it appears you made.” says another ghost.

“By pursuing Pat?” asks Joe.


“Say! Is there some nice German girl like that?!” asks a Boomer.

He thinks. He weeps.

“That’s just how it goes. I guess.” says Lacey.

“But not even respecting you for who you are, blessings and all, was a wretchedly disrespectful thing to do to your soul.” says Kate. “How was he supposed to love you?!”

“Gee! You wouldn’t think those in Purgatory need prayer!” says a Catholic sarcastically. He rolls his eyes.

“Watch out for evangelicals calling you a witch now!” says another Catholic to the first Catholic.

“Well…some charismatics would say she’s cursed.” says a charismatic.

“Gee! That sounds like a safe thing to say over her!” says a witch.

“Funny how God exists though.” says an Illuminati member.

“And should we exist…it seems as though our hater section did God’s work? Or at least, we wonder if He used us.” another Illuminati member suggests. “Some of us are humble enough to wonder that anyway.”

“Lem’s not an easy gay. He’s a weird one.” says a gay man. “According to Lacey. And Louis seems…fascinated too in a non-platonic way. And Michael is…well…I’ll let God sort that out.”

“Michael is what?” asks the Illuminati hater.

“Other than falling down the stairs what’s gone wrong?” he asks. “I’m curious to see their vantage point after death. For real.”

“I’ll hopefully fully recover.” says Lacey.

“Are you stuck with Pat?” asks someone.

“If he is…he is.” says a Iranian.