Gloria

“You’re going to sit there until someone claims you.” says Gloria.

“Good!” says a living man.

Should ghosts exist Lacey is-

“Stuck!” says Gloria.

“I’m on my way.” announces Louis. Gloria nods.

“It’s very simple. You need to be kept somewhere safe.” says Gloria.

And suddenly it seems to Lacey that their there isn’t in a cloud. They aren’t fragments? And their there is. And apparently Lacey has been surfing about metaphysically to them like particles blowing in the wind, being pulled at.

“Did Lem do it?!” asks a gay man, humorously.

“No. My brother did.” says Jack.

And at that the gay man starts to cry.

“Oh.” he says.

“It’s okay!” says Gloria.

Silence.

“He just can’t let go of you.” says Gloria to Lacey.

“Joe?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” she smiles. It’s time to be done writing. “Take your coffee downstairs.”

Update:

“I don’t cross the line into ‘hot territory’ because I don’t like feeling that way.” says Lacey.

“What way?” asks Louis. “Like a whore?”

“Yes.” says Lacey.

He thinks.

An Englishwoman smiles. “But men have gotten so used to seeing that look. If a woman doesn’t style herself like a high-class prostitute she’s not recognized as attractive anymore. Plastic surgery, makeup, obvious clothing, etc.. Nothing is visually discrete anymore.”

“I was a ten. I still might be one. But didn’t like dressing that way. So I didn’t. Once when I was in love I really tried though. And suddenly people I was friends with were like, ‘Oh! You’re hot now!’“ And they were completely serious. “Or my ex-husband: ‘It’s weird. When you’re naked you’re curvy. When you have clothes on they disappear.” She rolls her eyes. “He was completely serious. People would call me cute but I wasn’t cute. I was stunning. I was beyond stunning.”

“You were. And I’m tired of people eating shit to feel better about it.” says Louis.

“What does that mean?” asks someone.

“It means that your father, should he be your father, was a huge womanizer. And not just because he was very wealthy. Because he was handsome in person. And your mother was extremely beautiful and you took after them both.” says Jack Kennedy. “Or maybe they should have been your parents.”

“Why are demons getting so nervous?” asks Lacey.

“Because it’s ruining their strategy.” says an angel.

“So they know they’ve lost but they’re still trying to do their best?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” says a dead actor.

“Well, I’m close to being done caring about certain things I’ve cared about to be nice.” says Lacey.

“Me too.” says Lem.

“Lots of people dead and alive are running out of patience.” says a ghost.

“Do you feel wildly imposed upon?” asks the Illuminati hater.

“Yes. I have been, of course. But even for me it’s getting weird.” says Lacey, who is always empathetic.

“Is Tik Tok a part of that?” asks a politician.

“Yes and no. It’s just discouraging to discover how backward some ideas people have are and have always been.” says Lacey.

“Like that you were cute?” asks Louis. “And not hot.”

“Yes.”

“Because people psychologically abused you in regard to that. Friends, parents, everyone. And they told you the truth too. But it wasn’t until you were almost 40 and looked back that you could see it. And by then…it was too late in many ways for it to matter.” says Louis. “Jealous women and men ruined your life.” He seethes. “They psychopathically disengaged you from reality by trying to often, not always, but often brainwash you into thinking you were far less than you are and were physically when it comes to your appearance.”

“Oh Louis! You know a woman’s physical appearance doesn’t matter. Not in terms of her psychological framework for reality!” says a dead woman mimicking the sort of lies especially women, but also men have told her.

“Mm. No. No. She’s a gay, fat, ugly bitch. And I’m going to ruin her and eat her for dinner!” says a toothless shrew.

Michael laughs. “Which part of her?”

“Are most women today shrews?” asks an aging Boomer.

“Are they?” asks Michael.

“Tools, shrews, and queers.” says a Gen Xer about adults today. “Of course, since Lacey is in love with ghosts I’m adding her on to queers. Even though she’s straight and cis. But…and maybe I’m a deranged or bitter gay, but yeah. That’s what it seems like to me. Tools. Shrews. And queers.”

Silence.

“I mean, even some bi women are shrews.” he ventures.

“I think most men are tools. Even gay ones. And most women are shrews regardless of orientation.” says another gay.

“Male ghosts.” says Lacey.

A gay man nods a yes. Then, “Lacey, if your poor dead (actual) father weeps everyday over your rotten 21st Century existence…please do tell us: What seems weird about us? Please. Be honest.”

“Narcissism.” says Lacey.

“But here you are saying you’re hot?!” asks a female narcissist.

“Because she actually is! Reread.” says Louis seething.

“I’m not worried they’re going to take away gay marriage. I’m worried that the US is kinda over.” says the first gay man.

Lacey laughs.

“Like…we had fun! Right? But…are we too emotionally backward to do democracy now?” he asks.

Silence.

“You think the scale of narcissistic personality disorder is a real disorder and not just a mark of super-coolness?” asks a Gen Xer.

“Would she be so messed-up, in the nicest, most elegant and kind way possible of course, if it wasn’t super destructive?” asks the first gay.

“I targeted her because she seemed unaware of her own-“ starts a narcissistic hater from the perfume community.

“Her own what?” asks the gay.

“Her superiority.” says the hater, shaking in uncomfortability.

“Yeah.” says a ghost who died on 9/11, coldly. “You know, I had to help her today when she was explaining something to her son. And I realized how awful her situation is.” He thinks. “Your narcissistic tendencies are blinding you to seeing what you’re doing by hating her. And she’s not the only one. Everyone is ripping apart the fabric of society today by trying to be someone else.”

Silence.

“Like they’re confused or they’re imitating other people narcissistically?” asks a Millennial.

“Both!” says Louis, annoyed.

“It scared me soo much when she figured out the Illuminati!” says the Illuminati hater. “So I curse her using witchcraft daily.”

Lacey looks confused. “You told me you were in the Illuminati. I wouldn’t have known otherwise.”

“That’s not true.” he says.

“Were you high when you told me?” she asks.

“Probably.” says a woman.

William F. Buckley laughs.

“Why is he allowed in?” asks Lacey.

“We’ve wondered too.” says an Englishman.

“We needed to clue him in. For reasons of political efficacy.” says a major party official.

Lacey laughs.

“What if I decide to run for office someday?!” he says.

“You’d lose regardless.” says Lacey.

“No I wouldn’t! I’m a very big deal!” he says, channeling her abusers.

“You’d lose. Almost no one would vote for you.” says Lacey.

“Yeah, what do you know?!” says a buddy of his.

“How do these imbeciles not understand the supernatural when they’ve had so much explanation?! Like infinitely more than the common person.” says a perfume hater.

“Because it’s real. And they struggle with anything real after a while.” says Lacey.

“Literally anything?” asks the perfume hater.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “Narcissism really is that toxic and demobilizing to society.” She thinks. “Well, evil really. But that particular form of evil is currently a huge issue.”

A black man sighs. He sort of agrees.

“Why did y’all tell her she was ugly?!” he wonders. “That is so dumb!” He laughs.

Another black man joins in, “That’s either going to destroy her or someone else.”

“Nah! Y’all don’t even know how to take care of your own anymore. Y’all like zombies. It’s true.”

“White people?” asks a perfume hater.

“Y’all be thinking you’re crazy.” He laughs. “Y’all just lazy.” He laughs more. “See. That’s-Nah, that’s like me thinking I’m getting somewhere by attacking a white man with a gun by convincing him he’s bad at shooting and aiming at the human heart or brain.”

The other black man laughs. “It’s true.”

“You’re inviting her to eventually viciously attack what you fear most she’ll attack. Or what’s worse, someone else will.” he says. “You don’t think tomorrow will ever come. Or are you convinced there is no God? Like, you bought that truth on sale at Target for $3.00.” He laughs. “But why bother living? You hear what I’m saying? Nothing good enough to bother living for if you’re just a meaningless blob. Is that what y’all really are?” He thinks. “No, see that’s what you all act like.”

“Shaking your hiney like it matters to the Devil. You be trippin’.” says a dead black woman.

“Would you date ghosts if you had been born in 1940?” asks a perfume hater.

“No!” says Joe Jr.. “Of course she wouldn’t have.”

“True.” says Lacey.