Mary Pickford

Mary Pickford laughs. Laughs like she’s evil. Except, she’s in Purgatory or Heaven working towards perfection.

Michael. Michael wins unless someone can thoroughly convince Lacey otherwise.

Michael stands in shock.

Who pulled the trigger in this competition? A dead queen and Mary.

The Queen grins, in sincere happiness.

“Now we can really get somewhere.” says a kind woman.

Lacey smiles.

And what was it about?

“No need to tell.” says Mary Pickford.

“LOYALTY!” screams Margaret Thatcher. She also grins.

Joe Jr. feels he still won somehow. He smiles.

“Loyalty isn’t just about keeping your legs together. And it’s in the horrific crassness of saying that that you left.” he says to Lacey.

“Did Andrew shoot literal heroin into a child’s arm?” asks Lacey. “Like it was joke? Repeatedly.”

“No!” says Joe Sr.. He smiles, kindly then sadly. Then cries looking into Lacey’s eyes.

“You…messed it up. Tiger.” he says bitterly to Lem. “And mercifully I’m dead.”

“I’m sorry.” Lacey says to Lem.

He weeps. He weeps because she just didn’t understand. She thought he was gay. In love with Jack. And she was just in the way between him and Jack in Purgatory or Heaven, should it be allowed. And others would suggest she was and is Jack and yet she knew that much was untrue. But the rest of it made her feel…like she best get out of the way, just in case. To be kind, sadly.

Michael smiles lovingly to reassure her she isn’t in Hell.

“Whatever, Lem. I’ll never equal Jack, right?! …Not to you, you perfect victim!” she wails, unable to hold back. Rocky carries her away like her father and it’s unintentionally humorous and Lacey notices the giggles but is still upset. “You misunderstood me, Lem! Sorry I’m not a gay man, you heartless toad!” she says with help from a friend before leaving slung over Rocky’s shoulder.

“It’s true. She did beg you to understand. Repeatedly.” says a random man who agrees that Lem is in the wrong. He’s observing like it’s a living, real television show… But with permission and privacy walls of course. He chills…eating cereal. “Because you can cereal whenever and wherever you want when you’re dead if you don’t go Hell. God’s able to afford a lot of cereal.” he says gleefully. It seems to be pretty great cereal, actually. Truly. “Perfect temperatures. Perfect everything if you want it that way. I love it. Don’t get here too soon. For real. But when it’s your time, you’ll have fun.” He smiles.