Struck By Lightning…In This Shirt

“I would have loved you.” says Michael. “Can Lem say the same?”

No“I am lost…in a rainbow.” says Lacey.

“You’re signing about me.” Lem says.

“You were lost in a rainbow.” says Lacey. “And you…seem to have only grown more lost once your rainbow died.”

He looks at Lacey. “I can only imagine what that must look like.”

“It’s hilarious.” She laughs. Smiles. “But then it’s weird how hurt I feel.”

“Why?” he asks.

“Because it’s Jack. And Jack hates me.” She thinks. “He’s so catty.” She smiles. “But then for whatever reason he decides he loves me. And I find him charming. And we decide to be secretly in an alliance.” She cries. “And that’s just it. That alliance means something.”

“And it’s deeper than what Jack and I had. If I was straight.” he says.

“Yes. Because I treat it like an an alliance. And so does he.”

“How did you two fall into such a firm alliance?” asks Bobby.

“I don’t know. It’s Christianity, regardless.” says Lacey.

“Are you sure about that?” asks a Hindu.

“Yes!” says Lacey, with faith.

“It’s like a military alliance, Lem.” says Jack.

“Like you love her more than me.” says Lem.

“He loves me like he loves his father.” says Lacey, crying.

“Like he should have loved a wife? Or like he should love-“ Lem’s mouth drops open. He pauses. He smiles. “Like he loves his dad.”

“And due to that alliance I have to-I find myself wanting to run away. With Michael.” says Lacey.

“Or me. Or Elliott.” says Louis.

“Joe made everything…Heavenly. Didn’t he?” asks Lem. “It was like a breath of Heavenly fresh air.”

“Until I realized he didn’t love me.” says Lacey.

Jack laughs. “Lem it’s brutal.”

“Would you two kill each other? And still be in an alliance?” he laughs.

“Only Hell can separate us. Or God.” She scoffs then. “But that’s mushy. It’s just that it’s that strong of an alliance.”


“But there’s no romantic love involved?” asks Lem.

“Not ideally.” says Lacey.

Joe laughs.

Lem realizes she’s entirely serious. He becomes serious too. Almost cries.

“It’s just-“


“I just-“


“You can’t believe he fucked…me.” Jack looks at her. “Lacey. Fucked. Not…”. He closes his eyes.

“But he wasn’t even into men, Jack.” says Lacey.

“He did something worse.” he says.

“He swallowed a sword.”



“He wouldn’t swallow your sword?” asks Jack.

“That’s doubtful.” says Lacey trying to be strong and maintain her dignity.

Jack looks heartbroken. Cries.

“It’s okay. It must work out somehow.” says Lacey.

“How can you say that?!” asks Jack, aghast.

“Because if he’d swallow your sword and not mine then I don’t need him. You did me a favor. Stop lying.”

Jack looks serious. “He might still do it.”

“I’m half out of patience. And that’s…not good.”

“He really brutally betrayed you with me.” says Jack.

“Yes. You could have made it worse. I want to see how ugly he is.”

“I did enough. The rest is fluff.” says Jack.

“Well, I hope so. I don’t want to waste my time.” She yawns. “I’m exhausted.”

“If he manages now, pray about it. But try to at least take him at least slightly seriously.”

“I hope someone fails. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” says Lacey.

“Lem is handsome.”

“Are you okay?”

“I told you, he lies.”

“Try to work your way out of it. Should I understand your general location.”

He smiles and nods.

“At least you’re with God.”

“He’ll be fine! He’s with God, Lacey!” says a man.

“Then where am I?!” asks Lacey.

“On Earth.” says a woman, apologetically.

“Right.” says Lacey. She opens a sparkling water. Yawns.

Lem is dumbstruck.

Michael smiles.

“It’s oil. It’s like oil.” says Lem to Michael.

“Blood is still blood.” says Bobby to Lem.

“She made you say that.” he responds.

“Yes!” he yells at Lem. “I hate you. Remember? That’s what you decided?”


“I don’t wish you harm though.” Bobby says to Lem.

“How much did I hurt her?”

“Did my son get you hooked?”

“How do you get that confused?” he asks Lace stupidly.

“Are you being hurtful or serious?”


“It’s not that complicated. I just want what’s best for everyone.”

He thinks. “That’s. Troubling.”

“Why?” asks Margaret.

“Because she doesn’t know.” Then he restrains himself from crying.

“Well, I’m not dead yet. And…maybe someday it’ll make sense.” says Lacey.

“I chose to be an incredibly poor man.” says Lem.

“What does fuck mean to you and Jack?” asks a gay Millennial. “It’s…like…code.”

Lacey thinks. “My first password for my first bank account was ‘snowball’.” She laughs.

“Did you know how they used that word?” asks a priest.

“No! My father who raised me thought it was an idiotic password. I thought it was hilarious.” she says.

“Why is it hilarious?” asks another priest.

“It was hilarious because snowballs melt. And so do bank accounts. Especially in the winter…”