Today on Tik Tok I saw a woman totally freaked out by the police presence at her synagogue. She resembled my former sister-in-law. …My kids are whitewashed genetically twice over by my ex-husband’s mother who was Italian, German and Catholic. And by me. Their mother. They’re both Christians. But…we still look slightly like a Jewish family. And I’m proud of that. …And it makes me enraged…
“But then I think about the ghosts in my dining room. And the conversations I’ve had with Hitler.” says Lacey. “And I feel a little better.” She smiles.
But not enough.
But then I watched Tik Tok longer.
*sigh of relief?*
…A young man…*snicker* claimed to be gay? …And yet I watched him with a few women and the sexual chemistry between them was…real.
“He’s gay!!!!” shrieks a flailing gay activist in his 50’s.
“I doubt that. And if he doesn’t get married to his boyfriend…he’s going to end up getting drunk and accidentally sleeping with a hot woman he’s decided to just make-out with one night.” says Lacey. “People are so predictable.” She rolls her eyes. Throws her head back.
“He’s probably bisexual.” says Lacey. “Except he probably has deeply internalized biphobia and is under the misguided impression that it’s normal to have such an unhealthy aversion to a piece of his own identity if it’s too so-called normative.” She thinks. “I get the sense that he is actually scared of women and feels they’re too aggressive and needy. But someday after enough time with men as an adult he’ll just crazy one night and realize he’s not a straight-gay.” She looks sad. “He was terrified to become gay.” She scoffs. “Because he’s not gay.” She rolls her eyes. “He’s not gay. He’s under some gross impression he has to totally give-up women forever if he admits his attraction to men.” She sighs. “It’s this sense people have that they want two neat boxes. Gay or straight. But I suspect he’s just bi with a lot of other psychological issues in relation to women.”
“Why is that comforting in regard to a possible second Holocaust!?” asks a Jew.
“Because, bless his heart…and I mean that genuinely not passively…it’s so, so stupid.” says Lacey.
“How so?” asks a white person.
“Simply put: We aren’t Nazi Germany.” says Lacey. “And that’s not a call to ignorance or to make assumptions. It’s unsafe to be that ambivalent.” She thinks. “We just aren’t honest enough. Or organized enough. Or frankly wise or intelligent enough to be that brutal anymore.” She thinks. “We’re far too stupid.” She thinks. “Sorry.“
“Child pedophilia is the worst our pathetic psychopaths are capable of nowadays.” She thinks. “And that’s definitely very evil. But it’s not as well organized as the Holocaust.”
“You really don’t think white supremacists are capable of being that oppressive anymore?” asks a Hispanic woman.
“I highly doubt it. Look, if they can figure that out I’ll be impressed. I’ll be relieved about the state of humanity, ironically.” says Lacey.
“What if they just go around shooting?!” asks a psychopathic white supremacist. Is he trying to be encouraging? “Like, get big trucks. And lots of guns.”
Lacey sighs. Smiles.
“We’d have a civil war. It’d be the end of the world as an organized body politic within a few years.” she responds.
“That sounds like the End Times.” says a Christian. “But awful. Genuinely awful.”
“Why?” asks a white supremacist.
“Because we’re so wildly divided worldwide.” says Lacey.
“True.” he says, almost smiling.
“What in the world does that have to do with homosexuality?!” asks another white supremacist.
“He’s…not gay. And yet our culture has him brainwashed and controlled psychologically into thinking he’s straight-gay. Our culture is obsessed with sadistically and/or crudely deciding what he does in private in his own mind with his penis with another consenting adult.” She thinks. “And we have that labeled as fine. And good. And progress. All while deranged malignant narcissists pretend to be or are pedophiles to feel powerful enough not to want to shoot themselves in the head.” She thinks. “Pedophilia is…unequivocally…a real mental health issue.” She thinks. “It’s not a real sexual orientation.” She thinks. “But we’re too narcissistically stupid to realize that we’ve sacrificed children at the alter of making all men even vaguely inclined to be gay straight-gay. Or, like Jack and Lem they’re possibly too psychologically complex for people today to comprehend. Because there’s a difference between being intelligent and being aware.” She thinks. “You can come to the understanding that homosexuality exists if you’re told of it repeatedly long enough. In mostly healthy adults. Whether it’s wrong or right to indulge in for two consenting adults. …But you can understand that and also not be cognitively capable of seeing the whole picture or even the details fully outside of what you’ve been instructed to understand. Thing is, they may have been smarter in the past. …They certainly read more. And their only so-called problem was not recognizing what two consenting same sex adults could feel for each other?”
“So you think people lack the critical thinking necessary to create an actual Holocaust?” asks a white supremacist.
“A random lone wolf shooter here and there is evil. But also totally nothing by comparison to the German Holocaust.” she says, smiling.
“I’d say that’s because our country is too far gone.” he says. “Well, and there are some people who think elitists are more to blame than Jews.”
“But see! That’s the problem. Who is?! …Because some secretly Liberal Dixiecrat desperately wants to kill Jews, blacks and Catholics.” she laughs. “Because they’ve been so oppressed psychologically for decades now that they can’t resist the thought to lash-out.” She thinks. “It’s this bourgeois, fake-nice, greedy, shallow, narcissistic way of seeing everything.” She smiles. “And evil isn’t strong enough to create. It can just destroy, up until a point. And then it goes too far and becomes a comedy outside of Hell.”
“So how effective were the Nazis?” he asks.
“Very effective, to a point. But they weren’t just trying to be sadistic originally. Their motive, it seems, was to actually rid themselves of a real perceived evil.” she says. “So, I could be wrong. But I think that’s what we haven’t been honest about.”
“How so?” he asks, begrudgingly.
“So they started off with wildly, insanely misguided good intentions. But then they went much, much too far and sadistic madmen got involved because they were always very incorrect.” She thinks. “The psychopaths were possibly the only Germans capable of effectively running the camps because everyone else was too secretly repulsed by it?” She thinks. “It was a horrendous tragedy for Germany. But thanks to the US they still exist.”
“And yet, here we are.” he says.
“We’re trying to use them as inspiration because of how lost we are.” she says.
“When we have no idea who they were doing really?” he asks.
“Hence the chaos?” she wonders.
She sees a ghost of Carolyn Kennedy walk by? Hair long and platinum, blowing in that frigid air. But no, it’s just another blond woman?
“You really don’t think Lem was even bisexual?” ask a group of men.
“If I’m talking to his ghost, it seems he is very adamant about that.” says Lacey.
She sees John Jr. walk by in a jacket with a dog? But no, it’s a man who looks like him?
“So he’s trying to finally get truly laid.” says a straight man in his 70’s. “And we keep telling you he’s gay.”
“In a righteous, holier-than-thou way.” says another Boomer.
“And if he’s a real ghost it could actually be God’s mercy that’s allowed him to experience her.” says a Catholic. “Well, and vice versa.”
“Even experience some competition, so to speak.” says Scott.
“I’ll have to double-check, but yes. Maybe?” says Lacey.
Now she sees another ghost. Who disappears when she looks at the living person closer.
“What is that?!” asks a living person.
“So was he like…a masculine man who just liked femme shit?” asks a geriatric Millennial about Lem.
“And then just had the misfortune of being a sensitive, caring person while being sexually confused by a deranged person who sexually attacked him?” asks another Millennial.
“It seems very likely, if I’m talking to his ghost.” says Lacey. “Or it could also be just likely. But…the way I figured it out was supernatural even if I could have figured it out otherwise. So it begs the question if I’m talking to his ghost. And etc. etc..”
“I wonder what it is too. It seems like a trick ghosts can play on the living if they know how?” wonders Lacey in reference to the other question.
“Like they’re trying to tease us?”
“Maybe?” she says with very tentative joy.
“I doubt it’s often to be mean though.” Lacey says.
A private plane flies by in the sky between two old brick buildings.
“So the thing is, Lem was straight pretending to be gay because he was born in 1916 and they thought ignorant stuff about homosexuality. But Jack was more gay than straight. But he could still fuck a woman if he was high or drunk. And he felt a sadistic urge to. And he also impressed Lem that way. Because Lem was straight and deeply sexually repressed and convoluted.” …”And Jack loved Jackie…but…not like men.” a gay man says. “That’s your theory?”
“Close.” says Lacey.
“Why is that so impossible?” asks a Boomer.
“Why is that so important to all gay men?” asks someone.
“Because they’ve turned Lem into their mascot.” says a Democrat.
“But what if he really was a heterosexual man in gay drag?!” asks a dead man. “And what if Jack’s life was actually damaged by his issues with his latent heterosexuality?!”
“No!!!” rages a gay, white man in his 40’s. “No!!! Lem was gay!”
“Do the homosexuals plan to unite with the white supremacists to take out the Christian Conservatives and the Jews and the blacks and the witches?” asks Lacey. “Over Lem?” She thinks.
“But you aren’t a woman when you’re dead.” says a gay wizard.
“No. I am. And you can’t scientifically prove otherwise.” says Lacey.
“No. Lacey he knows more about you than you do.” says a scientist sarcastically.
“And you aren’t allowed to keep trying to lie and convince yourself that she’s just Jack reincarnated. It doesn’t make as much sense as you think.” says someone else.
A white female witch scoffs. At Lacey. For unknown reasons. She’s scoffing like…a stereotypical Puritan.
“It’s over social class.” she says.
“Yes. But people don’t even know what that is anymore.” says Lacey. “At least, most people. Unfortunately.”
“So you don’t think we can organize a Holocaust?” asks a white supremacist.
“Given the bravado of the neo-Nazis you have years to get us to the year 1942. Fully. Or you’re lying, in my estimation, somehow. And then no. I’m sorry. But no.” says Lacey.
“With the support of the country? And…all the infrastructure?!” he asks.
“Yes. All of it.” she says.
“It does seem like we don’t even know what we’re doing.” he suggests.
“No! I want to see the white supremacists, with the gays, fight the Wiccans, Christians, Jews and blacks.” protests Louis.
A gay man laughs, thinking his team would win.
“I can’t believe this. You expect me to fight you based on what?! Your talks with ghosts?!” he says patronizingly.
“Oh come on! You know you want to!” says Lacey.
“Just gay men? Not women?” asks a patronizing lesbian.
“Yes. Of course.” says Lacey.
“But I’m gay too.” says the lesbian. “And I hate your guts more than he does.“
“Because she doesn’t put out?” asks a straight black man of the lesbian.
“Yeah, I can never convince bitches like her that they want vag not dick! Dumb clucks.” she says. “You know how it is with these frigid idiots.”
“I’ve never been a woman.” the black man says. “You ever been a dude?”
“I mean, I feel like a dude.” she says.
“Are you non-binary?” asks a so-called femme lesbian.
They look embarrassed.
“Nah! You’re just embarrassed you don’t have a dick!” says the black man.
“So…do you find men attractive?” asks a Millennial.
“So how are you gay?” asks Lacey.
“You think I’m just a toxic straight man?” they ask.
“Dude! You’re an incel hiding as a lesbian to be cool and relevant.” says another Millennial.
“Except if you came out as a trans man maybe you’d get laid.” says a trans woman. “Not by Lacey. But maybe a woman who you find attractive. Like a straight woman.”
“I still hate her!”
“Why?” asks the black man.
“It is for reasons of class.” they say.
“Why did the Nazis hate the Jews?“ asks a trans woman.
“They thought they were all criminals. Literally.”
She laughs. “Was it even an issue of social class?”
“Only vaguely…at most.” says Lacey. “At least, not in the same way.” She thinks. “They were coming out of poverty after WWI. And they blamed the Jews. But not in a bourgeois way. In a more direct, clear way. They truly thought that whole group was criminal due to genetics.”
She laughs. “How would gay men convince them they aren’t criminals?”
“I’m sure some would try.” says Lacey.
“You’re right. It’s chaos.”