These Posts

“Why didn’t you finish law school like you planned to? You’d have female friends that way.” asks Margaret Sullavan of Lacey.

“Simply put: I wanted to fall in love and get married.” Lacey responds.

“And you thought men wouldn’t love you if you went to law school?” she asks.

“I can see that wisdom.” says a politician. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“Men seemed-I turned into their mother the more I leaned in to my intelligence.” says Lacey.

He nods. “Do you think all men would have been like that or just men your age?”

“Men my age for certain. But then eventually older men too once they got to know me.” Lacey responds.

“What about men my age?”

Lacey laughs. Smiles. “Doubtful.” She almost cries. “But realizing that made me, if I did subconsciously, feel crazy. It would now too if I didn’t understand what might be happening.”

“What about some men? The rare ones? Like my friend?”

“They were the reason I didn’t go to law school. I set out to find them instead.”

“Because you didn’t want to ruin your life waiting?”

“Yes. And I was right. I’m glad I have my kids. I wasn’t wrong really. I just didn’t realize how difficult it would be to find those rare men.”

“If you’d done art history…even…you might not have your kids.”

“Exactly.”

“And they’ve given your life a reason.”

“Yes.”

He cries.

His friend and Lacey get along very well, but it’s unlikely they’d ever date.

“My cologne is all wrong anyway.” he says smiling.

“Is that Dior Sauvage? Or Chanel?” she asks.

He smiles.

It might be Chanel actually.

“Those men really are the men you find attractive. It’s not about money.” observes a Christian.

“Yes. But the first man I talked with isn’t. He’s always seemed more genuinely fatherly. And it’s nice.” she smiles.

He nods. “They seem nice.”

“They are. Nice people are nice people.”

A Catholic agrees. Actually, lots of Catholics agree.

Margaret Sullavan smiles at Lacey. Then she too cries.

“Were you ever loved romantically?” asks Lacey.

She thinks.

“Yes.” she says with reservation.

“I just read your page on Wikipedia.” says Lacey.

The two laugh together for a moment.

Margaret makes a face.

“You get it. Or parts of it.” says Lacey.

“Was I terribly melodramatic?” she asks Lacey.

Lacey looks at her.

“Be honest.”

Lacey smiles.

“Be honest!”

“You just were worth so much more than that death. Nobody should be died over in that way.” says Lacey.

“So you think I sinned against myself?”

“Yes. Who are they anyway?!” Lacey thinks, “Or were.”

Margaret looks sad.

“I know. It doesn’t get you love to respect yourself. But it’s the cold, harsh, truth.” She thinks. “You had a wretched time. Obviously. But a person has to keep going until the bitter end.”

“Until God Himself brings you to Heaven?”

“Yes. Too bad you didn’t know me. I would have told you to pray to die.” says Lacey.

Margaret laughs.

“No. Seriously though. God can kill people.” says Lacey. “And I think that’s the only way to end your life and also respect yourself.”

“I think that feels like too daring of a prayer to most people.” she says.

“It’s not though. If God loves us…” says Lacey. “And if He doesn’t…He doesn’t seem very God-like.”

“Why?”

“Because not loving humans makes Him weak.” She thinks. “When we aren’t sinning especially.”

“But you challenge God?”

Lacey looks off. “I think I’m trying to catch Him at lying.”

“Lying about what?” asks Satan.

“How much He knows. How much He loves us.” says Lacey. “I hate that line in the Bible that says that we can’t test God. Why not?”

“Why not test God?” asks Satan nervously.

“Yes. Find out who He really is.” says Lacey.

“Are you planning to take over Heaven?” asks Margaret.

“Yes. I think it’s unfortunately my secret motivation.” says Lacey. “It’s idiotic but it is there in my mind.”

Margaret smiles.

“You couldn’t run Heaven.” says Jimmy Stewart.

“I’d try if I had to though. Isn’t that funny?”

“That sounds exhausting.” says an actress.

“Yes! But fun too. I like being charge. I always have. …Being a lot of other things is far more tiring.” says Lacey. “At least to me.”

“And you needed a man who could love you despite your leadership ability.” says Margaret Sullavan.

“Yes. Because at home he’d be in charge.” says Lacey.

“So how is he not just secretly in charge?” asks a man.

“In a greater sense he is. But I’m me. And he’s him. And I have my own free will. And he can’t make me do anything outside of our private life, so to speak. So…our love is…beyond all that. And of course it affects me. But a great many other things do too. And that’s my business. As an individual.” says Lacey.

“Everyone has a private life.” says an dead actress.

“Well…and a person can attack one’s private life. But that’s not the same as one’s leadership roles outside of their private life.” says Lacey.

“True!” says a man.

“But the public leadership is affected by the private!” says a conservative.

“Yes. And if you can read…and research…and investigate appropriately…you should be able to do what? Discover a potential leader’s true character.” Lacey says.

A woman cries.

“Do you think God is evil?” asks a Catholic Priest.

“No. Or He isn’t God.” says Lacey.

“You don’t think He takes a holiday from being God?”

“And does what? Goes back to being human?”

“Or lesser?”

“Then He isn’t God.”

“She’s right.” says a Muslim man.

“Sorry!” says a French Catholic angrily.

“Aren’t you a Christian?” Lacey asks the Catholic priest.

“Are you worried I’m not?” he asks sincerely.

“Yes. Do you repent sincerely?” she asks the priest.

He sighs. “Not sincerely enough.”

“You have to try to keep in mind that when you die…your body can’t protect you.” says Lacey.

He thinks.

“You’ll be entirely at God’s mercy.”

He thinks.

“And there’s nothing you can say. Nothing will ever be enough.” She thinks. “He’s God though. And that’s the whole point. Can He love us? Can He breech the power imbalance? Or has He already? With Christ.” She thinks. “And that’s where I want to catch Him lying. Should He be. Because our vision of Jesus Christ is shit. Absolute crap. Compared to the actual Son of God.”

He smiles. “You think Jesus is better than we let Him be nowadays?”

“He’s a winner. Not a loser.” says Lacey. “Always.” She thinks. “Jesus never truly loses.”

“Because sinning is losing?” asks Margaret.

“Yes. Let’s not confuse our longing for human men to lead us like Christ with the actual Son of God.” says Lacey.

“Do you have discussions with God about His leadership?” asks a man.

“Yes. The other night I was asking Him to cheer me up by proving that He actually takes care of homeless people when I die.” She thinks. “Of course that won’t be for a while. But I wanted to make arrangements now.”

“That’s your plan after you die?” asks an actress.

“Yes! I’d spend months letting Him prove to me that He’s not massively fraudulent.” she says.

“For the sake of the homeless people?” asks the Christian hater.

“Yes! What do you plan to do? Stare at your own face and admire it forever?” asks Lacey.

Joe Kennedy Jr. laughs.

“Of course it’d be nice to trust Him more too.” she says. “As a father.” She thinks. “And to make sure the sacrifice on the cross worked for those who try to believe.”

“Like logistically?” the Christian hater asks her.

“Yes. Somewhat. Or something possibly along those lines.” says Lacey.

“Don’t you have people you look forward to seeing?” the Christian hater asks.

“Honest answer?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” says a man.

“No. There’s unfortunately no one I want to see when I die as of this moment.” she says. “God willing my kids will be dead.” she says sarcastically. “Right?” She thinks. “No. I give a damn about people. And my kids, Lord willing, won’t be dead. All two of them.”

“She might have step-children in Heaven.” says a dead woman.

“Yes! And I’d like to see them. I suppose…they might be there if they’d like.” she says smiling.

“You’ve made me look loving.” says Satan. “In her life I look human by comparison to you. Good job faithful servants!”

“He’s evil. Unabashedly so.” says Lacey. “I don’t have wonder. He’s Satan.”

“He doesn’t lie about hating you?” asks a human.

A Catholic priest laughs.

“Yes! Wasn’t that Devilish of Him? To outright say he hates me.” she says smiling. “It’s evil. But not God. God must have made Him say it. Humans today can’t even submit to God that much sometimes.”

“Ah yes! Because God is ultimate truth and all that old-fart rubbish?” says a Boomer shaking his ass.

“What if you don’t go to Hell? Like you’d hoped?” asks Lacey. “What if you’re so dumb you barely exist?”

“And God has mercy on us because we’re genuinely too cognitively stupid to understand sin?” asks a Boomer woman.

“Yes! And you aren’t Satan.” says Lacey.

“You-That hurts.” says a Boomer woman.

“You want to be Satan?“ asks Lacey.

“Noooo!” yells Michael.

“Maybe.” answers a Boomer woman.

Lem emerges crying.

A living man rolls his eyes.

“You don’t want to be Satan.” says Lacey to the woman. “But why did you think might want to be?”

“He’s cool.” she says.

“Like tough and daring?” Lacey asks.

“Yes. He puts people in their place.” says a Boomer man.

“Christ is a…lying piece of shit?” asks Lacey.

“Mmhmm.” says the Boomer.

“A bourgeois white dipshit? Who drives a bright red penis car?” she says to the Boomer woman.

She laughs. “Yes!”

“I’m sorry if I shouldn’t discuss his stupid car with you.” says Lacey. “But no, that’s not Christ. Or Christ doesn’t exist.” She thinks. “Christ died for those men. But all that evil isn’t Christ. That is Satan. Not literally. But symbolically.”

“Does that mean Jesus has a sexuality?” asks the Boomer.

The Boomer man re-emerges with Lem. Michael smiles.

“It’s rapist car.” says Michael. “But they’re too stupid to see it. Or they like to drive something that aesthetically offensive.”

“It’s possible the designer didn’t see it either.” says Lem.

“I hate them too.” says Michael.

“The point is, any stupidity in this conversation or on the designer’s part is Satanic. I’m sorry.” Lacey says to the Boomer woman. “I think you need to find a new hero. Other than Satan. Like God.” She thinks. “God is…wild. But not stupid.” She thinks. “Satan is stupid. And he lacks any compassion unless God let’s him have it? He’s…God’s business.” She thinks. “If God has a sexuality it’s not any of our business. Although He was never involved with Jesus. …And I highly doubt He was ever involved with Satan because God just isn’t stupid.”

“But due to sin we as humans can be stupid.” says Michael.

“I love the idea of you and Joe Jr..” says the Boomer woman to Lacey.

They’ve all been grocery shopping in a co-op this whole time.

“Why Joe?” Lacey asks the woman.

“He’s handsome.” she says.

“Lem is just as handsome. So is Michael. Actually they all are.” says Lacey. “Joe is handsome but without goodness his looks become gross to me. He’s like a model.”

“Does he start seeming like a conniving gay man who would try to hurt you?” asks a man.

“Like an effeminate man? But not a very nice one.” says Lacey.

“Maybe not gay? But if so…a closeted one who is weak and vile.” says the man.

“Yes.”

“A pretty, selfish man.” He thinks. “And that’s trying to be kind using femininity.” He thinks. “I think that could make him and other people hate Lem.”

The Boomer woman looks at Lacey.

Pat Wilson is busy.

Lacey looks concerned.

“Jack might not be Joe’s favorite person either.” says the Boomer woman.

“Joe. Did you arrange for Jack to be killed?” Lacey asks him.

“I’m curious too.” says Coco Chanel.

“You-Do you really want to know?” asks a man in a gang.

Lacey smiles. He looks down and tries not to cry. He looks up and laughs, finally.

“I wish I hadn’t lost my pearl earring hiking.” she says in irritation.

“They’re out of ducks.” announc Joe. “The old man couldn’t process them fast enough. They sold out.”

“My father went out of business. But I like to hope he never sold out.” she says to Joe.

“No, I hear you.“ says the man in the gang.

“So you shot Jack? Because you were so repulsed by his spiritual poverty?” Lacey asks Joe. “Did you ever try to kill Lem?”

He smiles. “I’ll discuss this with you off the blog.”

The Rolling Stones starts playing.

“But you aren’t Satan.” Lacey says Joe Jr..

“Joe you aren’t the Devil.” says a woman.

“Not all sinners are saints necessarily either.” he says.

“Was it out of malice?” Lacey asks him.

“That depends. Not on God’s goodness. But on a lot of other things.” he says. Cautiously.

Silence.

“Everything is out of time. When you’re dead. If God allows it.” he says.

“You could have just killed me too! If you did it.” says Lem.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because I had no reason to live.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t think I was a man. A subhuman one maybe. A-A faulty genetic piece of shit. A mistake of nature.” he says.

“Because you were gay?”

“I was straight. But I thought otherwise.” he says.

“So you felt trapped living life as a gay man? But without the fun and frivolity provided by Jack?” clarifies Lacey.

He smiles. “That’s what I keep telling you. He made life worth living. Not because I was in love with him in reality but because I loved him. I thought we were actual friends. And he was fun.” He thinks.

“So you didn’t find him arousing or attractive in any way?” asks a gay man.

“Is this Lem? And who are you? Because God is God regardless.“ says Lacey.

“No.” Lem responds to gay man. “No, I did not.”

“Because you don’t find men arousing?” asks the gay man.

“I do not and did not find men arousing. I thought I was gay. But I was heterosexual. Sorry.” says Lem.

“You never experimented with women?” asks a Gen Xer.

“Honestly, I find you patronizing, first of all. Second of all, no. I don’t think you get it. I kissed women my mother told me to date. Or the like. Not women I found attractive.” he says. “I didn’t want to ruin nice girls. With my homosexual leprosy.”

“So if a girl was ugly you kissed her? Because she was a throw away already? But if she was pretty you felt she should be protected from you? From your homosexuality or your desires?” asks Gen Xer.

“My desires. But I didn’t realize that.” he says. “I thought I was icky.”

“So you were trying to enjoy sex with the wrong gender for you? And Jack was…falling in love?” asks a woman.

“I thought I was in love. And I…acted in love even. To a point.” he says.

“But you were not?” asks the woman.

“No. I made a fool of myself.” he says.

“And Jack did too. Falling in love as much as he could.” says a gay man. “Getting high for all sorts of pain. To feel like you truly loved him.” He thinks. “And that he wasn’t just unwanted again. Like he felt with his mommy?”

“Lem that’s vile.” says Lacey.

“You think?!” says another man Lem dated.

“And you were such a good man you never let Jack wonder or he knew?” asks a male actor.

“He-He knew I bet.”

“Oh my gosh! Bad gay sex doesn’t exist byotch! If it’s gay it’s hot hot hot time!” says Lacey sarcastically.

“I’m in love with the shape of you!” says Joe humorously to Lacey. Because he is in love with her shape.

“Lust is a thing for straight people too haters.” says Lacey.

“You didn’t want him at all?” a gay man asks Lem.

“No. I didn’t.” says Lem.

“Are you gay or a narcissist?” asks Lacey.

“I’m gay.”

“I had good gay sex. And she still wants to sleep with me. And she thinks I love her. Stop making everything so stupid making everything so stupid.” says Michael. “Not because she’s a man or etc.. But because I’m better at shoring her my love. My heterosexual love. Okay?”

“I don’t feel good enough.” says Lem.

“Okay? I should say okay so much.” says Lacey.

“You know, Illuminati hater…in order to understand someone you have to relate to them.” says an actress. “Or be capable of consistent honesty about that person.”

“But Lacey, you knew Lem was not a real gay man? And you didn’t tell him?” asks a gay man.

“I don’t entirely trust Jack. And I wasn’t alive yet beck then. And now I assumed he knew I guess if it wasn’t just a trust issue.” she responds.

“Who were you just channeling?” asks the gay man.

“That was me thinking through my thoughts with myself.” she says. “Or it was a demon.”

“You’re really difficult when it comes to disciplining yourself.” says the Illuminati hater.

“Yes! I think things through as thoroughly as possible.” says Lacey proudly. “But I’m not perfect.”

“He thought those were your spirit guides telling you the truth.” says a gay man.

“Maybe they are!” says a hater hopefully.

“No. It’s not. It’s likely a demon or her just thinking things through like an author might, spiritually.” says a gay man.

“Not because she’s sadistic or masochist?” asks the loudest perfume hater.

“No. I doubt that. But this is something different anyway.” says the gay man.

“She still loves Lem. That’s the thing.” says Louis. Michael agrees.

“Well…that’s awful.” says a gay man. “Were we supposed to know this? Or was this a very serious error?”

“It was an error.” says Jack.

“So…from the start of this conversation to now? Would you at least allow Michael to be there when you die?” asks a woman.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Does Michael hate Ferraris?” asks a woman.

“Yes.” says Michael.

“And apparently it didn’t work out with that man and him?” asks the gay man.

“No. He might have been hurt emotionally by him. Regardless of what’s allowed in Heaven.”says Lacey.

“That’s sad.” says the gay man.

“His pain bothers me too. Although if I’m with him, obviously I’m glad it didn’t work out long-term at least. In a way.” Lacey says.

“Try to offer Lem some mercy.” says a woman.

“You might not understand. But that’s-“

“He needs to make her know she’s safe. That’s the thing. It could be a woman like it is in Lou’s case.” interrupts Michael. “She just doesn’t know that she’s loved.”

“True.” says the gay man.

“So you just think Ferraris are offensive?” asks and Italian.

“Lacey finds them crass and I thought about it and genuinely agree. They look…bewildering.” he laughs.

“Why they made them so obvious?” asks a man.

“Yes.”

“Try to be merciful to Lem.” says Elliott. To Lacey.

“I will.” says Lacey.

“Just an FYI. The more you try to convince yourself of Lacey’s non-existent evil the more Michael or Lem will be able to manifest from the grave through the Holy Spirit. If I’m an actual Heavenly Angel saying this. You’re awaking the dead.” says an angel.

“He wants to snub her. But use her sexually.” says the once poor girlfriend of the Illuminati hater. About the Illuminati hater.

Michael laughs.

“And I just don’t have the time or patience to humor him.” says Lacey.

“And that’s what it’s always been for him? An ego trip?“ asks a ghost from her family.

“That ghost was worth three times as much net alive as you Illuminati hater. And he was raised with millions.” says Lacey.

“What the hater supposedly worth.” says the dead man. “According to the internet.”

“Actually it might be four times as much.” corrects an Englishwoman.

“But the point is, how did he see that logistically working on a social class level?” asks Lacey. “What’s his sword to rape me with?”

“He liked the narrative of you being too sweet for your own good. Like Marilyn Monroe. And he felt rich enough to get you. He didn’t look into your background. He just assumed what he wanted and practiced bad witchcraft.” says the woman.

“Like Marilyn Monroe? So evil and good in some way psychologically confusing to people.” asks Lacey.

“Yes.”

“But you knew we might be literally involved.” says Joe Jr..

“Yup! I figured she was just seducing you like some whorish ugly witch!” says the Illuminati hater.

“Why trust your own lies to such a degree? I was very beautiful back then. You could see that.” says Lacey.

“Witches would agree with you. It’s an insult to ugly poor women with personality disorders and to witches in general.” says a billionaire.

“Was the Illuminati hater just mad he wasn’t born as Michael?” asks a woman.

“I’d say yes.” says Lacey. “Because it’s kind of an insult to humanity in general.”

“So he had an imaginary sword?” asks a man.

“Well, he is famous.” says Lacey.

“But other than fame and powerful connections that’s it?” asks the man. He laughs. Closes his eyes. Sighs.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“But if you’re involved with the occult, Illuminati hater…why would you assume you were safe spiritually?” the man wonders. “Even if you don’t go to Hell, why would God or any other entity not at least notice? And you’re really so braindead you thought she was that utterly worthless? No human is that worthless but even so, that doesn’t actually make any sense. What will you do? Exhaust yourself lying for eternity just to convince us of this lie?”

“You’re like a man who insists on proving that he can live in -30 degree weather and keeps freezing to death in Purgatory.” says Lacey. “It’s a bizarre fixation.”

“Do you even find him remotely attractive anymore?” asks his wife.

“No. He has a handsome face. But that’s all. And so no. I find him disgusting.” she says. “Well, and to clarify the poverty stricken are hopefully always watched by Heaven. So no one gets away with it, so to speak. Somehow. And there’s a difference between being malignant and trying to survive.” says Lacey.

“Why her? That is a bit dumb.” says a man.

“Because she found us. And?” asks an actress of the Illuminati hater.

“I found her fascinating. I could sense something I found personally intriguing and offensive or threatening that I wanted to attack.” he says. “It felt personal.”

“And you wished you’d been born rich?” asks Lacey.

“Not middle class or poor.”

“So you could be king of the hill?” asks Lacey.

“Illuminati hater…I really hope reincarnation isn’t real.” says a woman. “You could he beheaded in the past by an army for all I know.” She thinks. “Like, rightfully beheaded.” She thinks more. “Why did you choose to be so evil? It makes me personally angry.”

“I like to win at any cost.” he says.

“Even to yourself?” Lacey asks.

“Yes?” he responds, mostly.

“Men like that need to see a Ferrari, Lacey. So do women like that. Some of them are evil and some of them are just stupid.” says a professor.

“It needs to be that obvious?” she asks.

“Yes. Or they just don’t get it.” he says. “Let me guess, he drives a Porsche or a Mercedes? Or a BMW?”

“Yes.”

“He’s got a lot of money! But I wouldn’t want to be him.”

“Why?”

“Things shouldn’t have to be that obvious.”

“Not all heartless gold-diggers are that heartless.” says a female gold-digger.

“Would you date the Illuminati hater?” the professor asks the gold-digging woman.

“No. I’d suspect he was secretly poor somehow.” she says.

“I bet a lot of his friends think they appear more monied than they are too.” says the professor.

“He’s clearly in someone’s Ferrari. The Illuminati hater.” says the loudest perfume hater.

“These people like him don’t really understand much. Do they?” asks a perfume hater. “I bet they rely on actual established wealth, real intellect, and real witches.” She thinks. “And they oversell themselves to themselves constantly to be confident. What’s his drug of choice?”

“It seemed to be cocaine. He seemed to often be sharing with people that he was going to or did get high on that.“ says Lacey.

“But you never did it?” asks a hater.

“No.” says Lacey.

“That fits his type.” says the professor.

“It’s very cliche, actually.” says a perfume hater.

“That’s what I thought too.” says Lacey.

“Because it is!” she says to Lacey condescendingly.

“Yes. That’s my point.” says Lacey.

“I find that cliche quality annoying.” she says.

“Disappointing?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. Because…should it be true…I had hoped for far better.”

“Than a gold-digger who rides in Ferraris high on cocaine with a pretty face?” asks Lacey.

“Yes! He’s a male yacht-girl.” She laughs. “Why not make it more fun? Let them be hotter?” She smiles.

“Just get away with any pretenses to real intellect and have fun watching television again? Or there could be competition? Some hot shows and some practical ones?” asks Lacey.

“Why can’t both women and men have fun watching television?” the perfume hater asks. “And honestly, I think that’s his thing. He’s insecure about his looks. Because that’s his ticket to the land of cocaine and Ferraris. If he’s attractive he knows that and milks it for all it’s worth.”

“I also think people should realize how much God can tolerate.” says angel.

“I see how some adults can’t drive a Ferrari safely.” says the perfume hater.

“Why the flip do they tolerate so much from these peons?” asks another perfume hater.

“Because they know stuff. And they’re-“

“They’re impressed by Ferraris.” says the professor.

“Well, they are nice cars. Obviously. As far as cars go.” says Lacey.

“Would you get in one if anyone was driving one?” asks a hater.

“I’d use it for emergency purposes. And I suppose I could tolerate a ride.” says Lacey.

“Marilyn Monroe?!?!” says a hater, scoffing at the Illuminati hater.

“He was trying to understand.” an actress says in his defense.

“The problem with men like him is that they make bad decisions that ruin things for lots of other people.” says another professor. “How did he have enough free reign to screw-up this badly?”

“He’s their soft underbelly.” says Lacey.

“So they need men like him?” asks the other professor.

“Yes. They do dirty jobs and don’t ask too many difficult questions.” says Lacey.

“Why not ask a hot black man to do his job…ten times better?” a hater.

“It looks too suspicious.” says Lacey. “It’s too elegant.”

“So a white side piece with a gut is less…incriminating? And you can still make him fold the laundry?”

“But he’s too full of himself to realize you knew this about him?” asks another person.

“Seems to be.” says Lacey.

“We should pray for him and his ilk.” says a Christian.

“True.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. See…I think about doing his job and then I think I’d rather not.” says a black man. “I think I’d be better at it. But-“

“We should genuinely pray.” says Lacey.