Prison For A Convert

“A convertible. He bought a sports car?” she says. “I’m tired of watching him misunderstand my good intentions while hiding his own sin.”

“But me! And Lem! We slept with you and we’re dead.” says Michael to Lacey.

“Like criminals!” says Lacey.

“Hey! You better watch out! Your father went to prison.” says a man jokingly.

“If he was born in 1894 he did.” says Lacey. “But he was there for five seconds. And it was a political hit job.” says Lacey.

“A political hit job?” asks a Democrat.

“Yes! He was very politically involved. He’d donated a ton of money to the Democratic Party for years. But then he stopped and started donating to the Republicans. And that’s when they decided that they suddenly cared about his…lingering Prohibition involvements. He was raised in wealth. He just loved the power and the money of his lifestyle. And he vowed to never have kids.” says Lacey.

“If he’d had kids would he have gone to prison?” asks a woman.

“That’s very doubtful.” says Lacey.

“Like, if he’d had kids earlier?” someone asks.

“So he was a blue-blooded Gatsby?” the woman asks.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“But his mind roamed the Earth like God. And then he conceived you in his 80’s. By accident.” she says seeing the tragic comedy of it all.

“If I’m his daughter then yes.” says Lacey.

“That’s interesting that your father who raised you lies about it.” she says. “If it’s true.”

“He lies about a great many things.” says Lacey.

“So that’s what he just does.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Well, you can always disown him if you find out he’s your father after he dies.”

“Tom? If he’s my father I highly doubt I would. He might not let me in the best sense. But yes, if I’m not illegitimate I will be…dealing with his…evil in my mind.” says Lacey. “Even as I’m genuinely thankful for the inheritance. I’ll try to be fair.”

“Do you would never give up your inheritance?” she asks.

“No! It isn’t safe.” says Lacey. “I wish I could.”

“Why didn’t your father just donate money to the Republicans to start with?! If Tom is your father…and I kind of tend to think he is…Michael whisks you away the way your father would have with his money and love.” She smiles. “Why not embrace it? It’s their vibe? ‘Just be stuffy!’ I’d say to them.” she shrugs.

“If I’d married well enough they’d have looked the other way. And never stopped.” says Lacey. “Like diplomatic immunity.” She thinks. “Especially with certain families.” She thinks further. “But he didn’t want a child to have such a rotten life.” she says. “Secondly, the Democratic Party was a very different party back then.”

“Why did he stop donating to the Democratic Party?” asks a man. The loudest perfume hater agrees.

“I don’t know. Maybe the Democrats became too fiscally Liberal. And he’d cautiously backed Roosevelt. But…he couldn’t handle their progressive policies.” she says. “It might not have just been about money. They may have been being dishonorable in some way he found intolerable.”

“How would it have worked if you’d been stuck in a marriage to Joe Jr.?!” a woman asks.

“Well, and that’s why he never had kids!” a dead man pipes in. “And no I don’t mean Lacey isn’t his daughter by birth. I mean until her, potentially.”

“Umm…what would you have done Lacey?” a woman asks.

“To prevent a war of epic proportions…we’d have had to be kind, rational and decent.” says Rose.

“What do you mean by that?” asks the Illuminati hater.

“That’s a very familiar tone to take with Rose Kennedy.” says her son.

“Okay. Excuse me, Mrs. Kennedy, may I ask why you suggested that chain of events as being what was likely to have occurred?” the Illuminati hater cleans-up.

“Because Lacey’s family is very dangerous to mess with.” she says. “Sweetheart…things are not always labeled clearly.”

“Oh look! You found Marilyn Monroe reincarnated!” says a perfume hater laughing hysterically.

Hemingway laughs.

“So your family would have kept Joe in line?” asks a perfume hater. “Unlike Rose’s family. But he still would have found a way to sneak a quickie with a woman somewhere. Behind your back. I bet.”

“Yes.” says Lacey. “And I would have refused to be intimidated.”

“So what would you have done?!” asks a perfume hater, trying not to laugh.

“She would have had an affair with me!” says Louis.

“Or I would have convinced her to marry me.” says Elliott. He cries.

“Or if she was born later she’d had married me.” says Michael.

“Or we might have fallen in love.” says Harold.

“Or she’d have fallen in love with me. And hopefully I wouldn’t have screwed it all up.” says Lem.

“Wow!! So Joe gets his US Presidency. With Lacey. And then somehow it’s neatly organized in the 1960’s that she remarries Lem. And-“ they laugh. “There goes the problems with Lem and Jack for the next Kennedy administration! He’s married off to Lacey. Or even better. Bobby runs. Instead of Jack.” then the hater falls into tears.

“Mmm. No. Sorry! I like the narrative that Lacey married Joe as his second wife. Or as proof that he wasn’t queer for one of his brother’s political aspirations. And she married him in her early 20’s, regrets it and remarried Michael in the 1968.” says a female perfume hater. She smiles. “Like she married Joe in 1963, we’ll say.”

“Who runs to challenge Nixon in 1964?!” asks a journalist.

“You mean Bobby or Jack?” she asks.

They nod.

She thinks.

“Bobby.” she shrugs.

“Why Bobby?”

“Because…if we’re being adults…Lacey would have suggested that. And if Joe was alive he’d have tolerated that far better than Jack running.”

“Joe would have supported Bobby instead of Jack!?” asks a woman.

“Possibly.” she shrugs. “Or if Joe dies…Lacey married Louis.” she says. “And her father is seen as a wild, Hollywood type. And that’s all.” She smiles. “See! I am smart. Despite what happened with her in the community.”

“Oh my gosh! That’s the reality that never happened?!” a gay man says. “Sweetie, just let Lem figure it out. And if he figures out that you’re not the woman for him, take it as a learning lesson. Okay?!” he offers her.

“Why wouldn’t she be the woman for me?” asks Lem.

“Because she’s hot? I guess.” he says with some anger. “You like hotness. And I respect that. I do. But…you can’t use people. Even if it’s in this way where you convince yourself that you’re the victim.” He thinks. “And I bet it’s difficult to keep concocting that lie with Lacey. Isn’t it?! Because you aren’t necessarily the victim. It might have just been an honest mistake. And then your victim mentality…ruins your happiness. Because we’re all victims of something. It doesn’t define us, Lem.” He clears his throat. “If you weren’t gay…you set us back by thinking you were. Or, at the very least, you ruined a friendship.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t hate you. But work with God to be more honest. If you and Jack both had character issues, I’m sorry. But if you ruined your life…” he shrugs. “You ruined your life.” He thinks. “Why does it feel like I can steal everything from Lacey other than her money, kids, status, power, and beauty?” He laughs. “Because even if her father loves her…”. He shakes his head in disgust. “Figure out why men can be stolen who aren’t Michael. Because you got stolen. Even if you never cheated. By the memory of Jack. It’s weird, Lem.”

“Can people steal her mind, soul, body, etc?” asks a hater.

“No!! Not if God loves humans.” says the man. “It’s not like that. People can steal her peace at times. Or her self-esteem possibly. Or however that works for her. Or try to steal her identity. But…it’s not quite like that. It’s more…like an insult to Michael.” He thinks. “Should this be real and not a delightful fictional account.” He grins. “Also, don’t threaten her or her kids.”