Keen to Cross the Pond

Everything In It’s Right Place by Radiohead plays.

Someone tried to hack into Lacey’s Instagram account. Probably because they’re narcissistically feeling triggered.

*Lacey waves* “Hi!! I love narcissists! You guys are OBSESSED with me. I get SO MUCH attention from y’all. Other than Satan and Hell no beings have ever noticed me more and reminded me that God loves me more.” says Lacey.

“No! That’s not right!” says a narcissist.

“She lies!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No! Thank you!! Thank you for knocking yourselves into fits and shitting and puking all over yourselves to try to hate me.” says Lacey.

“Oh no!! She’s completely serious! This is a heartfelt thank you.” says a Daniel Craig. He put himself in character and decided she’s being incredibly serious.

“Umm. So…thank you!! I’m a liberal feminist and…I dunno…I find it sad and funny that this could be true for a woman.” says a Rachel Mad.

“Who’s Rachel Mad?!” asks a narcissist.

“A mad woman named Rachel!” says Lem. “Lacey invented her. She’s a character. We’re all invented. Right?!”

“Why do you all hate me so much?!” asks Lacey.

They refuse answer.

“Are some of you almost having seizures?” asks Lacey. “Yeah?! Because I don’t care enough?!” She looks worried. “I hope you’ll all be okay. And I mean that sincerely.”

Lacey is almost convinced that people on the narcissistic spectrum have something legitimately wrong with their brains. And in that case they should not be treated as normal functioning adults in some ways for better and for worse.

“Ha! You said that in a narcissist way!” says a narcissist.

“No! I didn’t! It just looks like that.” says Lacey.

The narcissist smiles. “Why!?” He smiles again.

Just by Radiohead plays.

“I don’t remember! But I started doing it years ago.” says Lacey. “Let me try to recall why.”

“I think I got tired of being labeled a narcissist. I’m not one. But also…I resented the abuse I’ve received from psychopaths and narcissistic people my whole life.” says Lacey. “You do realize you’re being more loving to me right now than most people are.”

“I don’t feel love for you. I’m collecting information to attack you.” says the narcissist.

“If your brain is screwed-up…your spirit could be trying to be a helpful person. Isn’t that tragic.” says Lacey.

“I don’t feel that though.” he says.

“That’s creepy.” says Lacey. “I wonder how screwed-up your brain is.”

“So…we’re possibly the ones who have any inkling how bad off things are in regard to you.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Possibly! Isn’t that creepy?!” asks Lacey.

“How are we seeing when they aren’t?!” asks a male malignant narcissist.

“That’s what I wonder.” says Lacey. “The evolutionary implications are potentially staggering and vile.”

“Hmm. Like what?!” asks the male malignant narcissist.

How We Breath by Pinback plays.

“Is the human species secretly evolving into extinction?” wonders Lacey.

“Because narcissism is actually incredibly destructive to humanity?!” asks the malignant narcissist.

“Exactly! So why were you chosen to self-destruct?!” asks Lacey. “You’ll possibly never know. Because your mind is all messed-up about you sense of self to begin with.”

“This is why you hate Lem.” says a female Narcissist.

“I don’t hate him. But it does hurt. If he was straight he betrayed me.” says Lacey.

“Like…he should have seen through us!” says a female narcissist.

“Yes!! Exactly!!” says Lacey.

“Damn it! You’re right!” she says.

“Yeah! Sorry that feeling of concern between us as friends probably feels gross to you? Just let it pass.” says Lacey.

“You think like us! But you aren’t a narcissist!” says a male malignant narcissist to Lacey, laughing.

“Yes! You guys see what I see.” says Lacey.

“I hate this!” says the female narcissist.

“I do too!! But I’m in charge. …Just…realize that it’s normal. Or used to be. Nowadays people use this…gooey emotional bullshit to hurt people. And we see through it. But it’s what used to be safe. They just poisoned the water.” says Lacey.

“What water?!” asks a psychopath.

“Human agape love.” says Lacey.

“So we opted out!” says a malignant narcissist.

“I worry you did to some degree.” says Lacey. “But! You have to wonder if nature is outsmarting you. I’m sorry! It’s a fallen world.”

“Like it’s using our psychological survival instincts to evolve humanity into extinction?!” asks the female narcissist.

“Yes!! Exactly!!!” says Lacey. “Nature is incredibly sophisticated.”

“So! When did we push the button?” asks Wobbly. He rolls his eyes to insist that Lacey is too predictable in her trite traditional narrative.

“Ha! It’s more interesting than that! …Do you know?!” she asks as if she’s talking to a teenager.

“The 1960’s!” he says.

“Yeah. That’s my guess. Although I think it started to fall apart in the 1950’s really?” wonders Lacey.

“Yeah…they’re a perfectly logical reason she doubts you, Lem.” says Louis. “Be far more careful than you are being!”

“Did we do something?!” Louis’s son asks his father?

Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones plays.

“No!” he says.

“Who did?” asks Lacey looking at the DuPonts.

“A lot of people chose evil after World War II. Fully cognizant of how bad it was.” says Elliott Roosevelt.

“Cognizant as in not narcissistic?!” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” says Elliott.

“Why?!” asks Lacey.

“They were seduced!” he says.

“Probably during the war too?!” asks Lacey.

“Yup!” says Jerome.

“So…was it as evil by choice before the war or not?” asks Lacey.

Louis thinks. “Yes!” he says.

“I doubt that.” says Lacey.

“Why?!” asks Lem.

“Because Americans were more innocent before the war.” says Lacey.

“I mostly agree with her.” says Jerome.

“When we took on the mantle of world imperial power we had a choice to be Godly or be evil. And I think we chose to be rich and evil. Especially in the 1950’s and 60’s.” says Lacey. “Lazy, boorish and evil.”

Louis thinks.

“And that’s why we’re struggling so much now. We sold ourselves out.” says Lacey.

Elliott smiles.

“But did nature play a part?” asks the malignant male narcissist.

“Yes! Maybe! …Think about all the destruction we caused to nature in the Industrial Revolution and during both World Wars!” says Lacey. “And is it possible that the potato famine was nature’s way of testing the British? And if they failed the test that was actually the destruction of their empire?!”

“Like: I love these humans!! Cool empire! But umm…let’s see how loving you actually are.” says a woman on behalf of nature. “And when they failed the nails in their imperial coffin were sealed.”

“Yup!! It’s nature! It’s brutal!” says Lacey.

“So it’s watching us!” says a woman.

“Yes!!” says Lacey. “Or that’s the idea.”

How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead plays.

“So…they were seduced by easy money.” says Elliott.

“What made them so myopic?!” asks Lacey.

He smiles. “They were idiots, Lacey.”

“No!” she says.

“They were like the Kennedys. They didn’t understand cause and effect. They were idiots.” he says.

“How do you not understand cause and effect?!” asks Lacey.

“No! Mom…some people are really that dumb!” says the female narcissist to Lacey.

China looks at Lacey empathetically.

“No. She can’t believe it!” says an Asian man in genuine empathy.

“But it’s just simple cause and effect!” says Lacey.

“Umm…Lacey…so why did the British destroy their empire in Ireland possibly?!” asks an Irish woman of Lacey.

“Because they were idiots!” says Lacey. “But…not that type of idiot?”

“Like an actual idiot idiot?” asks the female narcissist.

“Yes! Sort of!” says Lacey.

The Chinese look at Lacey empathetically again.

Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 plays to calm Lacey’s anxiety.

“Hmm. How were we idiots? It’s going to be weird Lacey if you know. People are going to wonder if reincarnation is in the Bible. Whether it is or not. But…it bothers you so much!” says Margaret Thatcher.

“We worry about reincarnation too! And some of us are Christians!” says a Chinese man.

“To be honest I can’t scientifically ignore the fact, at least subconsciously, that huge portions of humanity have been operating under the idea that it exists for centuries. …But I’m still a Christian. Very much so. Only.” says Lacey.

“I understand!” says the possible real Pope. “It’s a pressing issue.”

“But it’s so complicated!! Be calmed by that!” says an atheist businesswoman.

“Mmm. The thing is…I have something to say.” says Lacey.

The Chinese empathetically nod again.

“The British knew…but didn’t. They had good intentions for the British. On a purely isolationistic, selfish level. They…cared. …But they also didn’t think it through. They were…mad. Insane. And for the amount they were actually evil in regard to the Irish…they were likely held accountable. …But…they didn’t get along with the Irish. I mean St. Patrick was an English boy kidnapped by the Irish. Right?! …Or is that a myth? …If it isn’t…think about that being common. The English obviously has reason to be heartless over the centuries after a while. And vice versa, possibly. …That’s the thing. We lie about how dark history is nowadays to feel better about ourselves. But…the truth can get lost that way.” says Lacey. “That’s my impression anyway.”

“You’re hurt by the Irish?” asks an Irishman.

“I thought we were friends.” says Lacey. “When did you decide I was so vile and ugly?”

An Irishman thinks. “The Queen was ugly!”

“Noo! She wasn’t!” says Lacey. “Why did you all think that? That’s so weird.”

Bad Things by Cults plays.

“She didn’t look like Jackie or Grace Kelly.” he says.

“She was less beautiful but more beautiful too.” says Lacey. “Those are completely different types of women.”

Louis smiles. “American advertising.”

“But…maybe it went too far!” says an Irishman.

Lacey cries. Fights it.

Louis looks convicted.

“So…it’s American toxic advertising that screwed up the brains of the whole world?! So what?!” asks a narcissistic man sarcastically.

Mr. Blue stands near an ancient Irish cave. Awkwardly.

Sodus by Cemeteries plays.

“Mr. Blue are you Irish?” asks a Jew.

“Yes!” he says proudly. Defiantly.

Love (Fade) by Tamaryn plays.

Iran laughs. Egypt cracks-up.

“Got you!!” jokes a dead Iranian to America. “You took the cup! Drink-up, bitch!”

They laugh as Love (Fade) plays.

“Huh! So that’s what’s going on.” says the malignant narcissist.

“Yeah! Possibly.” says the female narcissist.

They wonder and wander away from Lacey. They’ve decided they’re tired of playing tennis for the day.

“Poor dad!” says Wobbly’s wife.

“His father?!” wonders Lacey.

“Yes!” she says.

“I agree! He seems like the brother who was the most sane. Possibly. …There’s one who’s like that, oftentimes. I think it might have been him.” says Lacey.

“You’re probably right!” she says.

“I’m the oldest!” says Louis. “And I didn’t disappoint.”

“True.” says Lacey.

“And I disappointed far less.” says Elliott.

And that’s where the DuPonts cry uncle.

“We have to explain.” they say to Lacey.

“Go on!!” chuckles a white man who worries about forever chemicals being in the hearty soup he makes in his trailer to live off his meager US salary. “I have to be so damn careful where I buy my water. Y’all ruined the Earth.” He guffaws. “You ruined…the EARTH!” He looks at them like they’re irresponsible teenagers with behavioral problems. Like he’s their patient, exhausted step-father. “Do you understand what that means?!”

They act antsy. Look dumbfounded.

“Do you understand?!” he asks again more forcefully.

Benjamin Franklin does an interpretive dance to Love (Fade). It’s both hilarious and chill.

“So…we didn’t necessarily realize it would poison the whole Earth.” they say.

The man in his trailer looks at them. He’s confused.

“But things add up.” says Lacey.

“Yeah…but…we thought we could get away with it. In small amounts terrible chemicals are often somewhat innocuous.” they say.

“But…why do you think the structure you’re using will be easy to get out of? You sound like people who don’t understand credit cards.” says Lacey.

“Yeah! We might not always literally understand credit cards either.” they say.

“Right!” says China.

“You really are idiots?” asks an Iranian of the they in America who don’t understand credit cards. He sound’s possibly genuinely concerned.

Kinder Blumen by Real Estate plays.

The man in his trailer looks gobsmacked.

JFK rides on a Segway. On a California beach. In the 1980’s.

The living atheist businesswoman covers her mouth in worry and empathetic embarrassment.

“Umm…so…did you understand credit cards?” a living gay man asks JFK.

“My whole family was confused about credit cards.” he admits, bitterly. “So to speak.”

The DuPonts nod in agreement.

“Weir &. Sons has been in operation since the 1850’s! Lacey still shops there. Repeatedly. Not all Irishmen are drunken idiots.” says an Irishman. “For all you know…we even had a hand in helping her father obtain liquor.”

“So…Americans don’t understand credit cards. As a concept.” says a Millennial woman.

Jack cries on his Segway. “I’m not JFK!” he yells. He looks awkward.

“Yeah right!” says Lacey in doubt.

“I often spent too much!” he says.

“In more ways than one?” asks Lacey

“Umm…I think Lacey Banks is here to umm…discuss our debt issue.” says Wobbly.

“I think the answer is obviously yes. Or he’s playing along to protect her somehow. Or hurt her?” says a Millennial woman.

“It’s yes!” says Jack.

“So…you just felt invincible?” asks the American Millennial woman of JFK.

Where Is My Mind by Maxence Cyrin plays on behalf the American people. Britney requested it be played for them.

“Yes! We felt unconquerable.” says JFK. “We weren’t suicidal.”

“So you chose evil?!” Louis asks, surprisingly genuinely aghast

“We weren’t a cohesive country!” says a dead Seay. He’s implicating that Louis should have known more about JFK’s mindset without having to discuss it on a blog…after death. “We have no unifying culture that way, in my opinion.”

“So…Louis can be flummoxed.” says a dead female Seay.

“You’re too much like warring tribes?” asks a Native American woman. Suddenly the conversation takes on 1990’s Disney film vibes.

Life & Death by Paul Cardall plays.

“I was a child once. I grew-up.” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“Did you grow-up, Kick?” asks Queen Elizabeth II.

“I did.” she says.

“But did you realize it?” asks Lacey.

“Not necessarily.” she says mechanically. Coldly.

“Can God fix your brain?” asks Lacey.

“If there’s something wrong with it…and I’m in Purgatory…I might struggle to accept that.” she says.

“Why?” says Lacey.

“I hate myself. Possibly.” she says.

“Yeah! If she was a narcissist it’s difficult to accept God’s love.” says a DuPont. “It takes time possibly to accept His mercy when you understand what you’ve done and what He’s offering you for eternity. It’s a difficult thing to watch.”

“So! You misunderstood credit cards!” says a Nazi to the U. S..

“They misunderstood the land too!” says a Native American woman.

(Adult content below)

No Diggity by Blackstreet plays.

“So…you truly don’t understand credit cards?!” asks Lacey, who’s a girl but not a girl.

“Nah! Y’all trying me.” says an African American man.

“Break em!” says another black man.

“No! It matters, Lacey! It still matters!” the African American man says to Lacey. He marches through a house with a gun.

“Alright. But it’s going to get bloody.” says Lacey.

“Yeah!! It’s worth it!” he says to her. “You’ve said so yourself!”

“I know. But…that’s for me. You’re going to suffer too.” she says. “It’s you’re blood.”

Is this in the afterlife for Lacey? As it stands right now?

He thinks. “No. It’s worth it.”

“Okay! I’ll blow them up.” she says.

He laughs.

She presses the button.

The innocent have been evacuated. Including the men with the troubled soup.

An earth in Purgatory explodes.

The evil who couldn’t be tolerated descend to an earth with only them there. Not including children who didn’t grow-up, of course.

Lacey and the black man return to the kitchen. He continues filling safe plastic bags with dry cereal for his kids.

“I wanted to kill them too.” she says. “I suppose it’d be wrong to go to the other earth and torture them to death repeatedly?”

He laughs. “We did blow-up the earth.”

“I did!” says Lacey apologetically.

“I’m sorry. That was cowardly.” he says.

“Gosh, I want to go slowly rip their heads off.” says Lacey possibly politely.

Midnight City by M83 plays.

“Welcome to reality!” says a living, beautiful Russian woman in 2023. “That’s how we roll too.”

Back in the possible afterlife kitchen.

“No! Because then you’d feel bad for them.” he says to Lacey. “And mad that you had to degrade yourself to bring justice. No matter how much you might enjoy it.”

“You tied the rope…and put it around your own neck.” says a Trump man empathizing with the Democratic Party.

“Well…they could try to kill themselves.” says Lacey.

“Yes! But we agreed to let it go!” he says.

“True!” she says in submission to Jesus Christ, her Lord and savior. “But then will they go to Hell?”

“I checked. No!” he says.

“Gosh, it’s difficult to let go.” she says.

He nods and smiles.

“Are you really in that good of a mood?!” she asks.

He thinks. “Yeah! I am! Sorry!”

“No!! Don’t be sorry.“ she says.

He nods.

“I’m not! And I don’t want to ruin your good mood! Excuse me.” she says.

“Call us!!” he says.

“Oh!! Of course!” she says.

A second of silence passes.

“I’ll call tomorrow!” she says. “At four!”

He nods.

“Goodbye!” she says.

Then she leaves. He smiles wide when she leaves. He’s truly in a good mood.

Lacey wanders back to 2023 where she’s alive. She’s hopeful that man, should he exist, have a good mood without her having to blow-up the Earth in possible Purgatory. She’s hopeful she won’t want to go rip people’s heads off in Purgatory. She’s off to go eat. Watch The Crown. Pray. Analyze. Pray.

More later.

Lacey is amazed.

Can You Hear Them Sing plays.

Tonight she’s realizing how much her childhood spent on her family’s thousands of acres of oil rich land affected her entire being. They were like landed aristocracy…in their minds. They thought like actual old landed European aristocrats. And it DEEPLY and permanently altered Lacey.

Or did it? If she’s reincarnated…it’s all she’s ever been. But this time it’s without titles and recognition. Except for an intellectual honorary title and an electoral college vote. But…they are different. F. Scott Fitzgerald was right. They’re different. And there’s no way out. And she’s one of them. And people nowadays hate them. And Lacey thinks that too often it’s tragically undeserved.

Ashes To Ashes by Warpaint plays.

They aren’t Margaret Thatcher. Even the Republicans. …Not really. They’re the bullies at Balmoral. And they’re Queen Elizabeth II with her plastic old toothbrush. They’re snobby but not really. They’re…truly just different in their way of seeing everything.

“We aren’t that rich or important or glamorous or powerful.” says Lacey referring to the Royal Family. “But we think a certain way. And there is the oil.”

Ashes To Ashes by David Bowie plays.

“You have a small yellow house.” says an aristocratic who’s family owns a glamorous estate.

“Is that a problem?” asks Lacey.

“Which do you like better?” she asks shrewdly.

“It’s not a tiny house. To be accurate.” says Lacey. Then she thinks. “I think I want the house Thomas Banks was possibly supposed to raise me in.”

“So a huge house?” she asks.

“I think so! The other two houses feel sad.” says Lacey. “If I disconnect them from me…it’s a tough choice. The yellow house is…intriguing and Scandinavian and romantic in genre…and the other is actually far more cozy and grand and terrifying…and I don’t know which is better. The incognito privacy of the yellow house is irreplaceable. But the love of the other is also irreplaceable.”

“Do you feel like a king on that land?” she asks.

“Yes! We all did. And I’ve come to realize that but I don’t know if everyone else has or not. …It was a lot of land. And we lived next to cousins. And then there were my father’s family’s farms. So…basically it was 20,000 to 30,000 or more acres of land in one area controlled by just our family at large.”

“How many wells is that?” she asks.

“30 or 50 or so?” says Fox News. They shrug. “Maybe 40?” They shrug.

Lacey does the math in her head. “No! It’s more like 60 or 70?”

“So…essentially all the oil in that state.” says a reader.

“Well…we have the most. Maybe 3/4 or more.” says Lacey. “And by we I mean families that are interconnected very closely through marriage and live near each other.”

“So your mother’s family, your father’s family’s their mothers’ family’s and their cousins.” says a Belter

“So…it made you see things differently.” says an actress.

“Yes! Before the oil it was like…this irreverent, American, Norwegian immigrant, farm thing.” says Lacey. “But after the oil…I realized slowly how weird it all actually was.”

“What? The lordly supremacy you feel?!” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Feel?! As in, it’s not real?!” asks Lacey.

“What?! It’s a title and an electoral vote. And what like billions of light crude? And…that’s nothing.” she says subconsciously, without sarcasm or irony.

“You are exact opposite of Michael Fagan.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Ouch!” says a British person.

“I don’t know who he is.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater like a valley girl.

“Why doesn’t oil impress you?” asks a Bill Hates.

“It’s a liquid.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater subconsciously without humor intended.

Lacey collects herself. “Does gold impress you?!”

“Meh.” she says.

“What does impress you?” asks Lacey.

“Sex! Drugs! Rock & Roll. …Good hair. …And an estate.” she says.

“Like a rockstar?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah! Like…cool looking people in Los Angeles who hated me.” she says.

“So immaculate looking, bourgeois, pushy, white, blond haired, blue eyed, upper middle class, new money female jerks? They’re you’re ultra elite?” says Lacey.

“No!” she says.

“But that’s who you’re describing!” says Lacey. She realizes saying The Loudest Perfume Hater is Michael Fagan’s opposite was possibly mean and feels bad.

“They’re the most elegant, elite people I’ve ever met in my life. They’re the most…powerful.” she says. “Do you wear the color blue? There was an elite woman who wore blue nail polish and…I’ve been obsessed with the color blue ever since.”

“Those women were millionaires. Or possibly even billionaires. But I’d be shocked if they were powerful.” says Lacey. “They might have been…broke, too.” She thinks. “Like…actually broke.”

“So…what do they control?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Not much. Their house. Or houses. Maybe a local election at most. …A small business. A club or some…social network that is essentially useless. Maybe…a clothing line. A…very wealthy man who doesn’t truly understand world politics or economics at most?” says Lacey. “But I’m sure they keep him looking fly and fresh.”

“So blond idiots? Like your family?!” scoffs The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No! That’s-No!” says Lacey. “Not all blond people are the same type of people.”

“No! That’s not true. They are. …Right?“ she asks.

Lacey laughs. “Wow! That’s really backward.”

“No it’s not!” she says.

“You can’t possibly want to organize all of humanity into clearly different groups based purely and solely on hair color?!?” says Lacey.

“Well…how does that which I speak of as an objective, observable fact of the universe…not seem…plausible to you?” The Loudest Perfume Hater responds without humor intended.

“It’s just utter nonsense. But…if you’re right then I switched groups. So which group do I belong to? Blonds or brunettes?!”

“Shit!” she says. The Loudest Perfume Hater thinks. “FUCK!”

“And then by that same token, all old people are in the same group. But they weren’t before.” says Lacey.

“Okay! That doesn’t make sense!!” admits The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“A lot of what you have said over the years has had huge flaws in its logic. …I do appreciate your bluntness though when you’re blunt.” says Lacey.

“Maybe my theories are wrong.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Maybe not all of them?” says Lacey.

She shrugs in response.

“I’ve met the sort of women you’re describing.” says Lacey.

“Yeah! They’re mean!” she says.

“They’re baffling.” says Lacey.

“What do they even want out of life?!” she asks.

“It’s a mystery to me too.” says Lacey.

“They’re so uppity!” she says. “They are Margaret Thatcher!”

“At best. Margaret Thatcher was British.” says Lacey. “They’re often impressed by the Kennedys.” She thinks. “Maybe they’re always impressed by the Kennedys.”

Ashes To Ashes by Warpaint plays.

“Joe cheated on you with them. If you’re not just imagining ghosts.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“That’s exactly right! …And they hate me. …And I don’t even know why… They’re vile in their mystery to me at this point.” says Lacey.

“I’m not!” says Pat Wilson.

“No! Thank God for you, Pat.” says Lacey.

“So!! So…wait! Wait!!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater. “What did you do?!?”

“I reminded him who we were.” says Pat.

“As a couple?!” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yes! I brutally, viciously and violently stole him from Lacey.” says Pat. “Possibly.”

The Loudest Perfume Hater loves it.

“So…why are those blond California women so intimidating?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Because they are violent peasants who, at core, want to rape and murder my family?” says Lacey. “And their husbands are often gussied-up arsonists and thieves.”

“They’re all Edna Braithwaite to Lacey. All of them.” says Pat.

“So who are you?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater of Pat.

“Edith! Brutal, tough-minded, sometimes cruel but…possibly still decent…in a way…” she says.

“So do they hate you?!” The Loudest Perfume Hater asks Pat.

“Possibly!” says an Irishman.

“Edith Braithwaite wasn’t British enough maybe?” says Margaret Thatcher.

“What was she then?” asks a Hollywood producer.

“She was British…with an American finish.” she says.

They nod.

“What was weird about her, Lacey?” asks the Hollywood producer.

“She was too sure she’d be able to rise instantly to the top of the social hierarchy. She had no real anxieties that were shown. She was just all confidence. But…why?! …She could easily have been murdered.” says Lacey.

Louis might agree.

“But Tom was Irish!” says an actress.

“Yes! …And his storyline was already far fetched. …But…-“ starts Lacey.

Lem suddenly gets nervous and it interrupts Lacey.

“What?!” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“He was Irish. And he looked like Joe. But he was a driver. Lacey’s father who raised her drove Tom.” he says. “Sabrina.” He thinks. “1954. The knighting of Lacey’s Great Granduncle.” He looks highly disturbed. “I’m a ghost. She’s alive.” He looks nauseous. He shuts his eyes. “I think they’re mocking somebody.”

Ashes To Ashes by Warpaint plays.

“It’s funny. But…it’s also very mean.” says Lem.

“But he’s married to Pat!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yes! But his name isn’t Mike.” says Lem.

“And in reality I’m Katharine Hepburn…not Pat.” says Katharine Hepburn.

“And he’s certainly not me.” says Mike Rockefeller.

“He’s also not an Irishman named Tom.” says an Irishman.

“Did he throw me down the stairs or not?” asks Lacey.

“And at best I’m Edna Braithwaite’s descendant. Everyone in my family is like that.” says a Trump.

Billie Holiday by Warpaint plays.

“So that’s a compliment to your family.” says Lacey.

“Yeah! Life is harsh!” says a Trump.

“What I’m not making clear is that I highly doubt you were as bad as Edna. Anyone. Yuck!” says Lacey. “Any of you.”

“No! We were lowly. Not Edna.” he says.

“Edna was incapable of being lowly. That’s why I doubt she was British.” says Lacey.

“It’s hard not to bully Edna. But we shouldn’t!” he says.

“She might not be trying to bully anyone.” says Lem.

“Why do we think Tom and Edna are unlikely?” asks a California Edna.

“Wow!” says Lacey.

“Yeah! I agree!” says Patricia Roosevelt. “Edna was a maid!”

A gay man cracks-up laughing.

“But Tom was Irish?” asks the California Edna.

“Yes!!! …And I’m not sure it’s even possible an Irish driver would ever have married an actual wealthy, established aristocrat.” says Lacey. “It would have been an extremely rare exception.” She thinks. “But…regardless…he was accepted into the family.”

“Fair!” she says.

“Do you get where I’m going with that?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah!” she says.

“Where am I going with that?” asks Lacey.

She struggles. She shrugs. “Yeah, I don’t know!” she says as an attack.

The Rape Jesus Cult that masquerades as Charismatic Christianity tries to kill Lacey.

David Bowie functions as a Christian worship leader.

A living English actor laughs.

A demon or ghost almost manifests. Lacey casts the demon into Hell in Jesus’s name. Then she smiles at the thought of God.

“Please let me worship you. Always.” she asks God. Hopeful for His mercy through Jesus.

Edna California struggles. She may be demon possessed. Lacey prays for her.

“You were already a Christian!” says Summertime Sadness in biting condescension.

“Getting back to why Tom doesn’t have a moment for Edna. …He’s nice. He’s not one to kill maids who he’s slept with and impregnated. So he can’t bother with her. It’s too much of a risk. …And I doubt he’d be able to handle organizing an adoption of any sort.” says Lacey.

“But he’s an impetuous, idiotic, low class Irish fool!” says an actor sarcastically.

“Unless you can guarantee that the Irish are inferior take out Irish…otherwise it’s all true.” says Lacey. “Michael Fagan was British. Low class. But…he’d never have fallen for Edna.”

“I doubt I’d actually make the mistake of taking her seriously.” says an Irishman.

“That sex scene was written for an American audience! Edna and Tom are Americans in that scene.” says an actress.

“Tom does seem like a Kennedy.” says Joe Sr.. “So who’s Edna?!” Iuiuuuuiiiii

“She’s partially inspired by the living.” says Edna California.

They think.

“But the wife didn’t fall or get tied-up.” says Joe Sr.. “Although…Lacey has almost died in childbirth in a way.”

Lem looks repulsed by himself.

“NOOOO!” Lem screams.

A moment later.

“I’m Edna. But we’re roll playing.” says Pat.

“My father is Tom. He’s English. Mostly. And he’s not a driver.” says Lacey.

“Well…I’m not a driver either.” says Joe Jr..

“So then don’t call yourself Tom.” says Lacey. “That’s gross.”

“What name do you suggest?” asks Pat.

“Philbert O’Toole.” says Lacey. “Or Philbert Patrick O’Hara.”

“What about George Wilding?” asks Joe.

“That’s too dangerous.” says Lacey.

“You’re not confident like an American.” Lem says to Lacey. “And it hurts whether I was ever your husband in the past or not.”

“So! You’re not confident like an Australian either.” says Joe Jr..

“No! But Edna was!” says his father.

“What is that?!” asks Lacey.

“Imagine a lower class person in England. They have an attitude.” says an English actress. “And it’s edgy.” She smiles. “Lem might have some of that edginess in his DNA. It’s very attractive. If the person is attractive.” She thinks. “But…they’re not Lem. And they’re not us. …They’re…pushy.” She thinks. “And I find that revolting. But…other people find it arousing.”

“How is it arousing?” asks Lacey.

They think.

“It’s not.” says Lem.

“What is it?” asks Lacey.

“No!! No! I really think some people think it’s attractive! …Because it’s so easy.” she says bluntly.

Lacey thinks.

“It’s sometimes covert and manipulative too though.” says Summertime Sadness.

“Fascinating!” says Lacey.

“So…no. I don’t like it.” says Lem. “Obviously.”

“So…throwing yourself at someone in the middle of the night in some suicidal passion isn’t pushy?!” asks Jackie O. of Lem. “What if I had done that?!”

Edith Beale cringes.

“I’m not going to dignify that insult with much of a response. But I’ll say that I’d rather have been accosted by a wet dog than you trying to be near me at all. …Just because I don’t like you Jackie doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to women. I’m attracted to only women but you’ve never been particularly arousing to me. Not to that degree.” says Lem.

“What would you have done?!” she asks.

“Acted like you had lost your mind.” he says. “Carried you away to your own bed and…thought you’d genuinely lost your mind. That’s not your personality. It’s Lacey’s. It’s mine. It’s not yours.”

He looks angry.

“It’s not pushy. It’s romantic.” says the English actress.

“I’m not like that.” says Jackie.

“I might have fallen for you and cheated on Lacey wit you.” Joe says to Jackie.

“Sure!” says Lacey.

“Let’s go to bed!” says Lem.

“What’s going on?” asks Lacey.

“They don’t get your lack of understanding of the American culture.” says Louis.

“It’s due to social class. But also…it’s just me.” says Lacey.

“You’re not going to say you were reincarnated to be kind. But it’s a great analogy. …I’m sorry we confuse you.” says Louis.

“Goodnight!” says Lacey.

Mrs. Blue and Mr. Blue feel left out on Lacey’s blog. Lacey actually only subconsciously thinks about them because she has to for reasons of safety and self-defense. So…Mrs. Blue demanded Lacey be stalked by a witch as she woke up. Because Mr. Blue can’t handle hearing that Lacey only subconsciously thinks of him for reasons of self-defense so he’s constructed a different reality than actual reality where she’s obsessed with him and has been since the start.

Oftentimes Mr. Blue tries to channel Lacey. He’s either molesting a child used for psychic readings in the Illuminati or he’s…sleeping with a full-fleshed ghost…or a demon. But his wife believes otherwise.

So this morning they stalked Lacey as she woke up and tried to harass her into sleeping with him. She resisted. But she doesn’t actually find him attractive almost at all anymore in any way (as she’s said for possibly years now) so it just was a rather lackluster experience for them until Mr. Blue harassed her into considering the situational idea of it. And then in self-defense as she considered the idea of it she was slightly aroused by the memory of finding him attractive in 2016…or something along those lines and Mr. Blue declared victory and felt he had to apologize to his wife.

“She’s gonna be hurt by what just happened!” he said with absolute deep state authority as he was talking to the child or a mentally disabled person he’s decided Lacey is.

“Your wife?” asks Lacey. “No! I’m still resisting you. I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“No! You just got aroused!” says Mr. Blue.

“But that was me considering you. It was also in my sleep.” says Lacey. “So it’s possible it wasn’t based on my current feelings for you at all.”

“So it was a memory of finding him attractive in 2016?!?” asks a woman in England. “And they were able to access that in your sleep?!? Using what they know about your brain and you?”

“Yeah!” says Mr. Blue.

“So she’s not at all attracted to you now? Like…she possibly finds you repulsive and has for years? And…so…why does that memory count?” asks the woman in England.

“Because she accessed the memory!” he says.

“Yeah! But it’s a memory. And she was asleep. …Have you asked her why?” asks the woman in England.

“See! Her super subconscious has sex with me everyday!” says Mr. Blue.

“Do you try to spiritually assume the position of Michael or Lem when she has sex with one of them?” asks the person in England.

“Yes! I love it! I am the men she finds attractive. All of them!!” says Mr. Blue.

“That persistence was what I saw in you that I misinterpreted as a good guy trait that I fell in love with in 2016. But…no…I’m not interested anymore and honestly…I’m not sure you have good traits as your character is that bad.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. So…what is this super subconscious thing?” asks the woman in England.

“It’s a thing I discovered when Lacey kept wanting to have sex with me. Because on the surface it’s obvious she’s not remotely attracted to me. But she’s also very aroused by me daily in her super subconscious.” says Mr. Blue.

“So…peasants choose to not give two shits about Lacey?” says J. D. Rockefeller about the entirety of mainstream media and the perfume community.

“Apparently.” a Rothschild says to him.

“Well and then over the last seven years they’ve enslaved millions of kids who are her kids in Heaven until she can sort out who they belong to when she dies in enough time to tend to the kids she’s had naturally.” says J. D. Rockefeller.

“Umm. Yeah. We’re still in the right to find new creative ways to hate her!” say living narcissists at large. To summarize.

“Why?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Because she’s…I dunno. Don’t you get the sense she really listens when you’re about to list off some actual sin?! …Yeah! That’s obviously her admission of guilt. People don’t listen unless they want to hear what they’ve done wrong. She’s prob a narcissist too! But…just make crap up and she’ll bite.” he says. “She clearly has no conscience or she wouldn’t be listening so sincerely.”

“No! I’m always willing to be corrected. That’s what America was based on. …It’s not normal to be incapable of taking correction from a fellow human in a functional democracy.” says Lacey. “People in the past used to care. And I still do on instinct.”

“That’s true.” say several people in the Illuminati to Mr. Blue.

“Then you aren’t attracted to me at all!” he says to Lacey like she’s sending him to Hell for no good reason other than her pure evil.

“I’m sorry! I’m not attracted to you!” says Lacey kindly and calmly to Mr. Blue.

“Nah! That can’t be right!” says the entirety of the middle-class controlled by Mr. Blue.

Lacey is terrified. “You can’t have bet all of that power on me always finding you attractive?!”

“Yeah?!” he says shrugging.

“That’s very romantic!” says Lacey scientifically. “Why though?! That’s hardly a safe thing to do!!”

“Why?!? Because you’re a secret lesbian?!” he asks as if he’s being tortured.

“Yes!!” says a witch on Lacey’s behalf.

“Oh no. I was saying yes to something else.” says Lacey.

“Mr. Blue why aren’t you openly dating Lacey in the Illuminati if you guys keep sleeping together?!” asks a Boomer actor being kind.

“My wife! And I don’t want to!” he says.

“What’s this woman like?” asks Lacey.

“It’s you!” he says.

“Yeah, I can hear you in my subconscious. But…it’s not necessarily possible I dwell there or…am interacting with you at all.” says Lacey.

A herd of J.D.-peasants try to spiritually rape Lacey through the Illuminati and she is disgusted by it.

“Eww!” she says kindly with a smile as if they’re making a mistake of some sort.

Then she’s brought her breakfast as she is every morning.

“Your kids can connect with your subconscious. …Can Mr. Blue?” asks a Boomer actress of Lacey.

He tries raping Lacey again and she’s repulsed.

“Why don’t you hear her being repulsed?” asks a Gen X actress of Mr. Blue.

“Because she’s always saying, ‘Let’s forget about this!’ afterward.” He says smiling. “Why would she say that if she’s not secretly consenting?” He looks self-righteous. “She doesn’t seem affected. If it’s rape she should be so much more affected!!”

“How many times have you raped her though?” asks a Millennial.

“I don’t know.” he admits.

“Is it possible she’s been ignoring it for years?” asks the Millennial. “Because I know what she’s doing. She’s being…lordly. She’s dismissing you like you’re a sad rabid animal.”

“That just makes me feel bad for him.” says the middle-class he controls.

“Yeah! Me too!” says the woman who said it.

“Yeah! Down with the elite!” shouts the peasantry of the Illuminati. And they’ve been shouting that subconsciously for years now.

Gold Lion by Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays.

“Umm…but maybe he’s not even interacting with her.” says a Gen. X actress.

Time passes as Lacey eats her breakfast.

“There! Did I just interact with you?!?” Mr. Blue says.

“I doubt it! What happened?” asks Lacey.

“I had sex with you!” he says.

Something registers. “Yeah! I don’t think that’s me though. …You probably are in my subconscious though.”

“So you care about the child slaves!?” he asks.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“That’s not elite. We don’t care!” he says self-righteously.

“I do!” says Lacey.

“But then you aren’t one of us!” he says.

“I DON’T CARE!!! I’LL TORTURE YOU FOR ETERNITY IF I HAVE TO!!” she yells into his ear so loud hoping his brain bursts and it bleeds him to death.

“That’s not real anger! I just got her off! She’s bragging about how good I am in bed.” says Mr. Blue.

“Babe! This getting weird.” his wife, Mrs. Blue, says to him. She feels it’s her duty to tend to her elite man.

“It was in her subconscious!” he says.

“But that’s not necessarily her.” says an Englishwoman.

“But what about her memory?!?” he says.

“That was before she knew who you are!” says a Kardashian.

“So she’s never been attracted to the real me?” he asks.

“I might have seen who you could be in Heaven. And that person…maybe just isn’t for me.” says Lacey.

“Like…you could find them attractive but…there are far better options for both of you?” says a Billings.

“Yeah!” says Lacey.

“Umm…so…who are you sleeping with?” asks a Millennial of Mr. Blue.

“Probably no one!” says his wife.

“Huh!” says a trans woman.

“Shit! I’ve ruined the conversation?!?” asks Joe Jr..

“Yeah! You made Lacey grossly more masculine than she is.” says Lem.

“Who am I sleeping with?!?” asks Mr. Blue.

“Amanda1960?” says Lacey.

“That’s not a real person!” says a new money billionaire who hates Lacey.

“Why isn’t that a real person?” asks Lacey.

“Shut-up!” he yells like a scared, mindless peasant.

“Why isn’t that a real person?!?” asks Lacey.

“I’ll kill you and your family if you don’t get scared of me!!” he yells.

“Can he send us to Hell?” Lacey asks God.

Seemingly the answer from God is no.

“Umm. Why can’t he handle this concept?!” asks a lowly middle-class peasant.

“It’s unlikely!” he says.

“Huh?!?” asks the middle-class peasant.

“No! She can’t be that kind and innocent and intelligent and well-bred!” he scoffs.

“Is that what you’re afraid of?” asks the middle-class peasant.

He refuses to answer.

“I mean…I’d be worried about interrupting her breakfast.” says the woman.

“Oh! That’s okay. Let’s forget about it.” says Lacey in her actual subconscious the same way she says about being raped.

“Why don’t you care about being raped?” asks Wobbly’s wife.

“Because it’s…a mistake. And any deeper or more complex emotional reactions are my inner world. Why would I let any of you interact with me? You’re all trash humans who could easily rot in Hell if you reject Christ.” says Lacey. “You’re pedophilic, vampiric gross pieces of worthless shit. And that’s a compliment.” She laughs. “How was that? Did that speak to you?”

China plays the cymbals for added value.

“But of course God can still forgive us!” says a Gen X actress.

“Yup!” says Lacey.

“So! Moral of the story: Our conscious minds do actually matter.” says a Bill Gates.

“Who is Amanda?!” asks a Hollywood person. “I know Stanley Kubrick came up with that name!”

Mr. Blue tries interacting with Lacey’s conscious mind.

“It’s like interacting with a straight dude who is totally indifferent to you! So…then what? Am I talking to a man? She’s trans?! Or what? She’s not?!” he asks fat, excited, gross and perversely and embarrassingly sloppy.

“I’m just going to say it:

Dear Mr. Putin, Tsar Vladimir Putin,

I’m sorry.

It’s been a weird century. You might possibly agree.

America is not doing well. I’m sorry you’re our patron and protector at a time when we’re so embarrassing to deal with. Please accept our humblest apologies.

We will always secretly try to be an independent country. I’ll just say that and put that out there to be honest. But, thanks for caring and I’m sorry for the inconveniences based on how bad things are here.

My sincerest apologies,

The American Middle-Class.” says an American Middle-Class woman not in the Illuminati.

“Amanda?” asks Stanley Kubrick.

“Yes!!” yells Hollywood.

“Amanda seems to be who I’ve described.” says Lacey.

“That’s you!” say three new money billionaires to Lacey as Mr. Blue tries to rape her.

“So!! I’m triggering memories of her sexual abuse!” Mr. Blue says to billionaires who can’t handle the objective reality of social class being more important than their money.

“Yes! You’re plastic, cheap shit billionaires.” says Michael Rockefeller to all current billionaires.

“Michael…they don’t want to hear that. Even if it’s objectively true.” says a living actress.

“Actually…I see the argument for it.” says China.

“I CANNOT STAND THIS ELITE, IMPOSSIBLE TO DEFEAT WOMAN WHO CAN ONLY PATRONIZE ME BECAUSE…because I’m so very unattractive to her.” says Mr. Blue.

Then he senses her presence and assumes it means she’s in love with him.

“What are you doing?!” he asks Lacey.

She smiles.

“Lacey! Stop declaring war!” says a Jenna F..

Lacey smiles.

“Lacey!!! No!!! No more war!!” say the Satanists in the Illuminati.

Tommy Banks laughs.

“Lacey!! No!! NO MORE WAR!!” yell the Satanists.

Don’t You Think I Love You by King Oliver And His Orchestra plays.

A Woody Allen stomps his feet laughing.

“Why war?!?” asks a Millennial woman in shock as she thinks through American history.

“No! That’s her having sex with me!” says Mr. Blue.

“No! It’s not!” she says as he tries to rape her once more.

“Then you find me repulsive?!” Mr. Blue asks Lacey in earnest denial.

“No! Not repulsive!” says Lacey kindly.

Stanley Kubrick ushers Lacey and the other living humans in the Illuminati back into the party he imagined in the late 1990’s. Michael Rockefeller looks bored.

“Here! Want a bag of chips?!” asks a peasant reading who’s in the perfume community.

“What kind are they?” asks Michael.

He thinks. “Sour cream and onion!”

Michael thinks. “Yeah! Ask God to hand me a bag.” he says. “Thank you!”

The perfume hater apparently just had empathy and wanted to share a snack.

“Well! That was nice!” says a Russian perfume collector to the American perfume community.

They look sad. Guilty even.

“Why does Lacey like war, Michael?!” asks Stanley Kubrick.

Michael and Lem smile.

Stanley Kubrick’s face falls.

“I know!!! I know!!!” says Mr. Blue trying to use this moment about Lacey’s psychology to rape her.

“She’s weaponized you!” says Patton, smiling. He laughs.

“I can’t be weaponized!” he says.

“No! I can’t be either.” says a group of BlackRock folks.

Ponchartrain by Jelly Roll Morton plays.

“No, you are gorgeous weapons.” says Lacey.

Michael laughs.

“You don’t understand the Greatest Generation’s need for war.” says Michael.

Stanley Kubrick looks nonplussed.

“Who’s Amanda?” asks Mr. Blue.

“A 1980’s cocaine addicted model-prostitute from Manhattan? With 1980’s short mushroom hair?” suggests Lacey. “I think she wore hot pink stretchy workout clothes a lot?” She thinks. “Or it’s a demon.”

“She’s not a kid?” asks Mr. Blue.

“No! She might pretend to be a kid.” Lacey. “She was not a scrupulous person, I don’t think.”

“I couldn’t be fooled that way!” he says indignantly. “IT’S YOU!!” he yells at Lacey.

“No! That’s not at all even slightly likely.” says Michael. “You’re using the Illuminati against itself to maintain a false sense of self you can’t let go of.”

The perfume community watches in amazement.

“No! I can control them! They hate Lacey!” says Mr. Blue on behalf of pedophilia, gluttony, sloppiness, slovenliness, cruelty, perversion, idiocy, pride and deceit to name a few.

“We have to hate Lacey?!” asks the Russian perfume community of Mr. Blue.

“Yeah! You’re ugly and gross and poor and stupid compared to her. You know that. And I’m your defender. I love you! I see you! …I am one of you!” says Mr. Blue.

“Oh dear! She’s weaponizing him.” says Stanley Kubrick in awe.

“Yes! What else is there?” asks Lacey.

“So! We’re going to get rich!” says Mrs. Blue.

“Why do you keep thinking she’s stupid?!” says Roseanne.

“Why war?” asks a Tom.

“Mmm. Yes! War!” says Lacey.

They can’t fathom it.

“Soo…you’re really not attracted to Mr. Blue at all. You’re just a more feminine woman than me who really loves war?!” asks a Sarah Paylinn of Lacey.

Tommy Banks finds it hilarious.

“So she’s a combination of actual Viking…and Tommy Banks?!” asks a Gen Z woman. “Like that’s her genetic makeup? …And she always warns you. But you just keep trying to rape, murder and destroy her?!”

“We thought she was secretly in love with him. We still do. It’s too upsetting to think otherwise because we look like ugly, abnormal pieces of shit.” says a Gen. X actress who molests kids to be cool.

“That’s unnecessary to believe.” says a prince.

“Are you still weaponizing?” asks a perfume hater.

“Yes! I force the truth out of them in self-defense.” says Lacey.

“So…they’re enabling your lust for war?” asks a Pope of Lacey.

“Is it lust? Be careful for your own soul!” says Lacey.

“So! You being gentle and feminine is you still resisting me?” asks a masculine straight, cis woman in the Millennial Generation who has never understood this about Lacey. “But you’re so calm and disinterested?!”

“Aside from analyzing your psychology it’s boring, trite nonsense.” says Lacey.

“But we can’t afford to be wrong. We bet all human trafficking on you being a pedophilic monster secretly. And you aren’t pedophilic at all. And you’ve probably told us that since 2026.” says the Gen. X actress. “2016 not 2026. Sorry! We loved your typos. They made us feel smarter than you. And that’s just us surrendering more weapons to you. Isn’t it.”

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Yeah! War!” says Payton Patton.

“Oh my gosh! That’s hilarious! She wrote Payton! Let’s see if she ever corrects her mistakes?” asks Mr. Blue trying to dance like a cool kid but looking stupid.

Lacey grabs more power. She almost has literally taken over the whole world through the Illuminati. She yawns.

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey plays.

“I’m trying not to be inappropriate. I could just start arranging things but I don’t want to make assumptions.” says Lacey.

“So…umm…you don’t want to start a Crusade?!” asks a Gen. Z woman of Lacey.

“Not at the moment!” says Lacey. “I’m relying on the Holy Spirit.”

“It’s that easy to take over the whole world?!” asks a Millennial woman.

“Yes!! I’ve wanted to since I was a school age child.” says Lacey. “I’ve always loved the idea of it.”

Mr. Blue can’t fathom her psychological framework without feeling humbled so he doesn’t have a clue how to handle it. He tries raping her again.

Southern Hospitality by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

“Umm…so…you really think it’s that easy to control the world?!” asks a Satanist in the Illuminati of Lacey.

“And I have to assume Michael or Louis or Lem are the ones really in charge?” asks a Rothschild.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “Except I do have my own free will.”

“It could also be Putin?” wonders China. “And she does love us.”

North Korea nods. Japan looks worried.

A Beautiful MINE by RJD2 plays.

(Adult content below)

“So…Amanda isn’t as pretty as Lacey? And she’s hiding that so Mr. Blue will keep fucking her.” says a Satanist.

“MINE!” says Michael as if he’s offering a hint.

Stanley Kubrick smiles.

“What’s the name for that?” asks Lacey.

“Why do you keep sexually stealing from Lacey?” asks a Gen. X actress of Mr. Blue.

“She’s nothing!!” he says.

“So Danny in The Shining was taking over the universe in his right mind.” says Kubrick. “And he was a Gen. X kid. Sort of. …Maybe I sensed her generation was going to be way beyond megalomaniacal if left to their own devices by truly shitty parenting.”

Radio by Lana Del Rey plays.

Mr. Blue tries to kill Lacey but can’t because…God and Christianity being the truth.

A wave flows through Lacey and messes with her brain waves for a second and causes actual static on Pandora.

“So the Illuminati is just dangerous and stupid?” asks a Gen. X woman of Lacey.

“Yes! In a way!!!” Lacey says. “But…I do deeply empathize with the people who have and have had good intentions. It’s a sad inevitability that such an organization would exist.”

“I agree!” says a Bill Gates.

As a deranged narcissist chorus line gal Mr. Blue imagines he’s got the gams to keep Mr. Banks internationally engaged to her. …In truth she’s hideous looking to him and possibly everyone else too. But she is deranged.

“He comes to my every performance!” says Ms. Blue.

“He came to your performances everyday for about two or three months back in 2016. But he hasn’t been back since for more than a few seconds to get a sense of your vibe.“ says Stanley Kubrick.

“You’re a HUGE diva. But you’re butt ugly. So she was in love with your persona. Not you.” says Al Capone to Mr. Blue. “Tommy Banks and you being a trans woman was only an analogy.”

“So…decided to inculcate Tommy Banks’s daughter into the Illuminati?” asks Michael. “Against her will?!”

“Yes!” says Mr. Blue. He tries to kill her again.

“Can I talk?!” asks Joe Jr..

“Sure!” says a Putin.

“Silicon Valley is embarrassed by Lacey. Because it is a wake-up call to them about their immaturity as a community of people who seemingly are shallow and weak.” says Joe Jr.. “You’re essentially powerless fools. But you can’t see it because you’re coddled by everyone nowadays. Right?”

“So why is it bad that she’s in charge?!” asks a feminist who may be being serious.

“So Amanda could be in a lower level of Purgatory and that’s why you can’t contact her.” says a Catholic priest to Mr. Blue. “Without Lacey’s help.”

“She could be a soulmate of yours.” says Lacey to Mr. Blue.

More later.

Lacey is forced to resign.

Not from ruling the world but from being nice.

“Here’s the rules:

1. *Christianity is the truth. And modernism understood objective truth. Postmodernism is mostly worthless dogma. All “liberal or leftist” arguments are null and void and dangerous bullshit unless they align with truth. Be careful not to dismiss Catholicism as potentially Christian. And of course, Christianity should NEVER be perverted and all efforts to dismantle it are now doomed and laughable at best.

2. Academia is useless unless it once again bows to Christ.

3. Brutal truth reigns supreme over all. *

4. Christianity is Christianity. It’s your worst nightmare Boomers. Mom is in charge as you die off. Sorry. You were wrong. You got most things wrong except for your Christian compassion. We will now hopefully be reverting to the best hits of the past, so to speak. Until we can get a sense of reality again we will never make a difference in our world

5. Millennials and all Generations alive today and for at least the next 100 years will have their eyes opened to the truth of God (the God of the Buble) by the Holy Spirit. Brutally by the Holy Spirit if necessary to avoid eternal Hell.

6. Emphasis will be on preservation and restoration of the Earth.

7. Free will still matters, and we still have few will. And God might disagree with this list. But God isn’t evil.

8. We’re hopefully entering an irreversible era of extreme truthfulness.

9. The so-called mess left behind by the decay of the British World of previous centuries will be addressed without resorting to evil to fund or settle or solve anything. There are no more excuses to hurt children. We will all try to do our parts to preserve the safety of our planet for all mankind and other natural ecosystems.

10. Science is not the enemy of truth. However, it doesn’t reign over truth. Instead science is a way of accurately and truthfully discerning the truth of the natural, fallen world. It’s a party to the consciousness of our conscious minds. Therefore, it must be held to the highest standards of our consciousness, i. e. The Scientific Method.

11. People can still choose to reject Christ. However, they may be less coerced to reject Him and hopefully not attacked for choosing not to reject Him. You can’t force people to accept Christ.

12. Only God can decide against any of this ultimately. So if He decides to end the world He can. But that’s why Christians should be careful to avoid doubt that isn’t real. It’s okay to wonder what is really going on and ask God in prayer as a Christian. Even repeatedly if that’s where your mind honestly is. But one shouldn’t have doubt addictions, so to speak.

13. God is unspeakably more powerful than any amount of evil.

14. To save them from Hell the hardworking members of the Illuminati will be ministered to by the Holy Spirit in a non-sexual way (obviously) until their hearts are softened to God. Lord willing.

15. Those exasperated by life on Earth may want to pray to Jesus for an actual rapture as many times a day as they want or if that’s theologically impossible pray for a merciful plan for intervention and assistance. Even if it’s a grace filled ten years before death and Heaven.

16. The Ten Commandments will be adhered to as a rule and the existence of Heaven and Hell will not be questioned without respect for those who are looking forward to the afterlife which is likely paradise for Christians ready to die, regardless.

17. Governments and all forms of organizations will fall only when and if necessary for the Ten Commandments to be adhered to.

18. Therefore mobs, coups and the like are only effective when they are are following the Ten Commandments.

19. God knows every inch of this list. Every nuance and intended purpose and angle. Therefore He will have to defend the words from people who seek to attack truth.

20. The LGBTQ+ question will be settled without resorting to evil. …Therefore if it’s all just a mental health issue…the patients will be treated humanely with respect for themselves and the children or vulnerable people who they might attack. If some of those letters and/or symbols aren’t just mental illness and/or derangement they need to be examined in light of Christianity. So…for example: if trans people are recognized as their trans gender in Heaven one must consider that in Christianity they seemingly are not just a biological entity in this fallen world but rather in Heaven their gendered spirit might be their trans gender. This Christian questioning of transgender issues is not to be taken as a compliment to the other letters or as a sign to be self-indulgent and hedonistic in regard perversion or evil. Rather, this Christian questioning of transgender issues is an example of the kind of Godly thought we should all allow within the bounds of Christian compassion, decency, human rights and justice.

21. Justice will be exacted on behalf of all humans by the Holy Spirit.

22. God’s will will prevail.”

More later.

Lacey watches the episodes of The Crown she’d never seen.

Love (Fade) by Tamaryn plays.

A lesbian in the Illuminati bullies Lacey. A gay man joins in. They hate her rules because in their minds they’re wholly innocent heroes.

“If you’re not for us, you’re against us!” says the lesbian to Lacey.

“What army are you all in? The Revolutionary Army Of Gay Jesus Christ Superstars?” asks Lacey.

“No! If you’re not for us…you stand against us by not standing for us!” says the gay man.

“What does it mean to stand for you?!” asks Lacey.

“That’s-You you have to support us!” says the gay man to Lacey.

The Illuminati rouses up Hell to try to suffocate Lacey while she eats.

“The way Jack supported Lem? So you should fuck me? As a gay man? As a gay man who wants support you should serve and fuck me? Like an Irish slave who once and for all has decided that the Irish people who killed Lord Mountbatten were snakes who should have been driven out of Ireland? Drowned in the sea?!” asks Lacey.

“Why would an Irish slave decide that?!” asks the lesbian.

“Because they, in this case, are glad to be human enough to be able to serve as a good house slave. Lem always did his slave labor with a smile and a laugh. He was the gayest soul! So! Since support by that definition is me getting off at your lifelong expense…that’s how it works. It should have been obvious to you. Apologize for being intentionally rude and boorish you cheap peasant toad!” says Lacey.

“Sorry!” says Mr. Blue.

“I get the gist.” says the lesbian.

“So! What’s your honorable verdict?! What do you all mean by standing for you? Support is what?!” asks Lacey.

“At least we blew-up those people on the ship! We didn’t throw them down their own stairs and force them to worry about choking on food for 30 years to give their kids a decent life.” says the IRA operative who killed Lord Mountbatten. Or their representative.

Lacey understands. She actually loves the IRA. And they know that.

Ashes To Ashes by Warpaint plays.

“Hey! I’ll explain on their behalf!” says a Dylan.

“Okay! Please!” says Lacey.

A Dylan coughs and clears their throat. Looking lovely Dylan bites a lip-glossed bottom lip. Thinks.

“They’ve made their entire lives and all their suffering a personal attack on your literal existence.” says a Dylan to Lacey. “How can you expect her to take any of us seriously?!” a she identifying person says to her community.

“Okay! So we’re not all necessarily going to be hot Irish women in Heaven like Dylan might be.” says an overweight gay man.

“No! You might be!” says a Dylan.

“No! No!! No!!“ yells a leader in the LGBTQ+ community.

“What?! Was Joey Kennedy doing your bidding when he fucked Vanny and threw Lacey down the stairs?” asks the IRA that killed Lord Mountbatten of the current LGBTQ+ Empire.

“Is Joey Orange in the death of Leo?” asks Lacey.

“We killed Dickie for strategic reasons. But we could have chosen other targets. Possibly better.” says the IRA.

“Ha! …Were you really that incompetent?!” asks Lacey.

“We were…troubled. Yes!” a man says.

“No! I disagree with Margaret Thatcher. It made sense. But it also didn’t make any sense at all.” says Lacey.

“You’re a lot like Dickie.” says the IRA man to Lacey.

“An ill advised target.” says Lacey.

“If they have any good reason to murder an important person in Christianity who is in the way of their country…being stable and autonomous it’s not you who should be held accountable for the crimes committed against them by Christians.” says the IRA man to Lacey.

Lacey takes a deep breath.

Ashes To Ashes by Warpaint plays again.

“Dylan, what sort of support do they require?”asks Lacey.

No one answers.

Lacey wonders.

“They want you to change your mind for real.” says a Dylan.

“I can’t do that by being forced!” says Lacey. “You can’t force people to think things!”

A Dylan smiles. “I think…pedophilic elements with a lot of money are your enemies.”

“But they’re strangling all of you by not just giving-up.” says the IRA to Dylan. “Attacking children is pure evil.”

“So…if Satanism is defeated in the Bible…and Lacey only wants the truth to reign supreme…why pick at Dylan?” asks an IRA man.

“Because we love evil.” says a demon.

“Do you really?! I doubt it. I bet you lie. I bet you regret that you rebelled against God.” says Lacey. “God protect me and please forgive me in Jesus’s name if I shouldn’t have spoken to that demon.”

“We disowned you!” says an IRA man to Joey.

“So pedophiles and demanding Lem is gay…are destroying the entire LGBTQ+ community?!” asks a lesbian.

“Look! If we are going to be our perfectly gender appropriate selves in Heaven…we might not be in agreement with that statement! I personally think the trans community is its own thing.” says a Caitlin.

The song plays.

“I’m not sure why but Lacey tends to anger the same people trans women do. Why is that?!” Caitlin asks. “Being trans is not a willing partner with pedophilia. At all. Ever. Never should have been. They’re just a group of perverted fools. They don’t belong as recognized members in our community at all unless they’re trans and then they belong as trans people but not for their pedophilia.”

“I take it the IRA is against homosexuality?” asks an English professor.

“Do you hate Lacey and Lord Mountbatten?” asks the IRA of the professor.

“Yes! I’m Mr. Blue. The professor is scared. And I put him up to the last statement.” says Mr. Blue.

“Sorry!” says the professor in England.

“Are we just jealous of trans people?” ask a gay man. “Like bisexual people they’re often…adept at being cool and attractive in ways we aren’t.” He thinks. “And if Dylan is a woman in her spirit she’s a pretty straight white woman. …How did we create a world where we can’t have friends who aren’t as high status as us? Or do trans women understand Lacey?”

“They often tend to see through the lies I was told that messed with my mind most detrimentally.” says Lacey.

“They’ve talked her out of suicide.” says a witch when she was at her lowest.

More later.

Ashes To Ashes by David Bowie plays.

“My momma said I was a Bad Brownie.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“Did she tell you not to mess with Tom?” asks Lacey.

“Lacey! Thank you! …But what was it you were trying to say originally before you were asked to rape gay men?” asks a oldertrans woman.

“I can’t fully support the LGBTQ+ community. I certainly don’t wish them any harm…but that’s why in good conscience I truly can’t fully support them in their decision to embrace their experience as objective realty. I’m not like most people who would say that nowadays though. I truly don’t wish them harm.” says Lacey.

“So you might confront me but you wouldn’t stop paying for me to go to college because I was going through a transition process?” asks the trans woman of Lacey.

“Why?! What’s going on?! Those would be my concerns for your safety first.” says Lacey.

“So that reaction makes no sense to you?” she

“No!! It’s counterproductive.” says Lacey. “It’s just cruel. And heartless.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald cracks-up laughing.

“Lacey would have genuinely locked us up. To keep us off drugs. But the love wouldn’t have been withheld.” says a David.

“So! What was it you were going to say?” asks the trans woman.

“I loved the tea at 6 pm in the evening in Scotland. And the hunting. What I couldn’t handle was the way you were supposed to be so upbeat during parlor games.” says Lacey. “I can’t enjoy games like that. They’re mentally draining and I always feel suicidal when they’re being forced on me.” says Lacey. “They remind me of practicing scales on the piano.”

“But hunting and being scolded about where to sit doesn’t bother you?!” asks a man.

“No! I’d have been worried about that chair.” says Lacey.

Ashes To Ashes plays.

“Are they nice people?!” the Pope asks Lacey about the British Royal Family.

“From my experience they’re some of the only sane people I’ve met in my life who are able to understand what I’m saying about almost anything.” says Lacey. “But that’s my experience. Someday I’ll know what’s really going on with a great many things.”

“Sane. They seem very sane?” asks the Pope.

“Yes!! It’s like finding breathable oxygen.” says Lacey.

“Do you think I’m on your side?” he asks.

“You have to be. Or you’re pure evil.” says Lacey.

“You’re right! Because if I’m not on your side I’m siding with Mr. Blue and pedophilic evil and Hell and death.” says the Pope.

“You’d be a false Pope.” says Lacey.

“Do you think I’m the Pope?” he asks.

“Only God knows. But I don’t trust you.” says Lacey.

“What if the British Aristocracy is snubbing you?!” asks Mr. Blue.

“You’re not intimidated by me.” says the Pope.

“Do they own billions and billions in light crude?” asks Lacey. “And no! Of course not! Are you a demon possessed Satanist Poop-Pope-Poopy-Poop?!”

Fame by David Bowie plays.

“Shake that butt and take a shit on all of us!” Lacey commands this man pretending to be a real Pope.

“I’m not the Pope.” he says.

“What are you? A unicorn dragon?” asks Lacey.

“No! The Pope is either corrupt or asleep.” says Mr. Blue.

“Or he’s just trying to make a decision about whether to let you live or die.” says Lacey to Mr. Blue.

“Where would I go if I die?” asks Mr. Blue.

“Have you rejected Christ?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah?” he responds.

Lacey grimaces. “I hope you are able to repent and ask for forgiveness from Jesus.”

“I’m tired of attacking her. Can we stop now!?!” Hell asks the Illuminati about Lacey. “There are only so many of us. And it’s getting thin in other parts of the world because we have to do this for the Illuminati or lie about it.”

“That may or may not have been real.” says Lacey.

“And she keeps casting us into Hell in Jesus’s name. She has been for years.” says a demon.

“It’s weird. Sometimes I feel like demons are easier to deal with than humans. But then I worry that that’s not possible so I take it to God in hope that He’ll explain someday.” says Lacey. “They can be cast into Hell. Humans are not so easy to know what to do with when they won’t stop attacking you.”

“We had a Holocaust!!” says a Nazi.

“That doesn’t work.” says Lacey.

“We did it anyway!” says a Nazi.

“It was unsuccessful. I’m sorry for whatever part of you was possibly innocent.” says Lacey.

“I love this song.” says the Nazi about Ashes To Ashes as the song plays.

“You’re not talking to a man. Lacey is super ladylike. But…she’s not Michael Sullivan. She’s Connor Rooney…but the kind, old money, genius version of him. English and probably Dutch. Possibly French or Swiss. Or if she is Michael Sullivan she’s Seay and straight edge Viking.” says a dead man who loved researching the American mafia.

“Actually…I can see a female Connor Rooney who’s more Zelda than failure child…falling in love with Chris Hayes and his Illuminati wannabe version. …Before she understood who he really is.” says a reader of Lacey’s blog.

“Would that woman…get clingy?” asks someone.

“No. She’s too old money and kind. But she’s got Connor’s…ummm…attitude.” says the man. “She’s not Marnie. She’s…not Audrey Hepburn. She’s…a Merchant-Ivory American who…Connor would have…tried to avoid falling madly in love with.” says the man.

“I’m not afraid.” says Lem.

“No! She’s confrontational. Not clingy.” says a guy Lacey dated.

“You know…she never called me that often. Or texted me almost ever. Or sent Facebook messages. …But she did want to see me as often as possible. And that irritated me. …She never initiated any kind of sexual activity either. Or insisted on doing anything. …She just had ideas that were too offensive to ignore. …She was a liberal then. I was a Libertarian. …She just wanted a serious relationship and fidelity. And I was only using her and then I cheated and lied about it. …So yeah! …Being a genius myself and a Johns Hopkins graduate I’d call her a loser who was super needy and clingy. But…sure! Go ahead! Call her confrontational. I guess it works.” says an ex-boyfriend of hers who was ironically named Chris. He shrugs.

“Yeah! She was…clingy. Right?” asks another ex-boyfriend who was named David. He looks confused. “Isn’t that what it was? Or maybe she was needy? No! She wasn’t needy. She…was too deep. And I wanted sex.” He thinks. “I just wanted sex. And she was so…good.”

“She wouldn’t put out for me either. …Was she gay?” asks her ex Chris.

“She’s likely a frigid bitch.” says David.

“No! She’s not!” says Louis.

“I think she’s a frigid bitch!” says a guy who Lacey rejected.

“Your opinion might not be accurate.” says Michael. “And her ex-husband would agree with me not you.”

“Then she patronized me sexually because I wasn’t her type. And she was too deep to reject me based on looks.” says the ex named Chris.

“But you’re happy? Right?” Lacey asks him.

“Yeah!” he says.

“So is that a lie?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah!” he says.

“I don’t think you made a mistake breaking-up with me! I think you should just have been more honest about your feelings for your future wife.” says Lacey.

“What’s her name?” he asks.

Lacey thinks. “It’ll come to mind. But it’ll take a moment.”

“Liz!!” he says.

“Oh! That’s right.” says Lacey.

“Do you remember my middle name?!” he asks.

“No! I doubt it. But if I heard it I’d recall.” says Lacey

“I have nothing more to say to you!” he says.

“Stop! Stop! I can’t stand her!” says Rebecca, Lacey’s ex supposed best friend.

“Oh! Hi Becca!” says Lacey’s ex Chris, cheerfully.

“Hi!!” she says chipper and smiling.

“Chris, can you remember Becca’s last name?” asks Lacey.

“Who? Who are you?!” he asks trying to shun her.

“What was it?” asks Lacey.

“Fuester.” he says.

“Hey! What’s your social security number?!” asks Lacey.

“641…” he starts. “Just kidding! Wait! …Could you have the Illuminati read that from my mind?!”

“Yes!” says Lacey. “Possibly.”

“Say! It’s been fun! But I’m tired.” says Lem.

“You know, I win.” says Summertime Sadness.

“I do! It’s not a problem. You’ll love it.” says her ex Chris.

“I win!” says David.

“I do!” says Summertime Sadness.

“No! I do!” says Chris.

“We win. …But mostly…I do!” says David.

“What are you all winning?!” asks Lem

“The cool kid war.” says David.

“Yup! That asshole! …I win!” says Chris.

“For real?!? It’s weird…but…I do?!” thinks Summertime Sadness.

“Well…goodnight.” says Lem.

—

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