It’s Alexei Romanov…versus Zhang Li.
It’s Alexei Romanov…as Vladimir Putin.
It’s…Zhang Li as Bobby Kennedy Junior.
Bobby is the crown prince of the American Dynasty, the Kennedys. And, of course, Vladimir Putin…in this hypothetical demonstration…is…a Romanov.
A Chinese man from 2026: Bobby, I’m trying to think she’s racist and it’s not necessarily working splendidly. What what is your family‘s background?
Bobby: My family owns land in rural China, their farmers, and we have a store.
A Chinese man from 2026: So how big is the store?
Bobby: It’s not very big.
It’s the size of one of those stores that used to be in neighborhoods in America in the past, what people called a corner store and what became known as sort of “a mom and pop shop”.
Listen to “Suite for Jazz Orchestra No. 2, Waltz” by Dmitry Shostakovich.
Mr. Li: I am going to kick your ass.
Alexei Romanov: Where? How? What are you going to do?
Mr Li: I don’t know.
I have to check first with my family.
Hold on.
Alexei Romanov: I’m sorry, I can’t wait that long. I have a country to run Bobby. I have to go tend to things.
Zhang Li: *thinks*
OK, then I will bomb- I will bomb your house!
Alexei Romanov: I’m gonna let you talk to my secretary, no offense.

Cameron Diaz: Bobby…I don’t think this is such a good idea…
Bobby: Hold on!
I’m gonna take care of it.
It’s gonna be fine.
Mariya Volokh: I am his secretary for the moment.
Cameron Diaz: I would take this as a huge compliment.
Bobby: OK!
Cool!
So, I guess this is awkward, but…I’m going to destroy Vladimir Putin.
Mariya Volokh: OK well I’m in America. So, I guess that’s what you’re gonna do.
I don’t know.
Bobby: OK, but you are Putin’s secretary?
Listen to “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” as performed by Brenda Lee.
Mariya: Yes!
Of course.
Pete Hegseth: No, he banged this chick.
Bobby: Well, I could bang her too, very easily.
I’m not intimidated.
*he scoffs*
Mariya: So, you’re gonna bomb Putin‘s house or something?
1:06
Bobby: Yes, I’m I’m going to harm him…very badly…with a giant bomb!
The song ends.
The song restarts.
Mariya: How-How are you going to do it?
Zhang Li: I’m going to use my powers…with my friendships…to harm him very badly.
You should be scared and so should he!
Mariya: Your friendships?
You’re gonna use friendship…to get someone to bomb his house for you?
Zelensky: Bobby, do you understand what you’re saying right now or not really?
Zhang Li: I’m just playing chicken!
Calm down.
It’s just I’m Bobby Kennedy Junior and I am having a Tata with the crown prince of Russia OK? And I’m having a tête-à-tête.
I am explaining to him that he is going to get his ass kicked and handed to him.
*he sounds nervous, although he’s hiding it*
1:24
Mariya: *left the conversation, a few minutes ago*
Zelensky: How about you just talk to me?
The song ends.
Listen to “Jingle Bell Rock” as performed by Brenda Lee.
Bobby: OK, but then how am I going to continue my frank…difficult discussion, with Vladmir.
Zelensky: I don’t know.
I think maybe it’s just over.
Zhang Li: No!
1:15
Zelensky: Yes, Bobby.
I don’t think you gave him the impression that you were a real threat…
Zhang Li: I am very threatening!
Zelensky: Listen, if there’s reincarnation, I have a feeling as the man you once were in China you may be were! Right? A somewhat threatening man in person! In person to person combat.
But…as you are…in this moment, I don’t think you’re scaring him.
Listen to “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” by Brenda Lee.
Zhang Li: *stunned*
No, I’m a very scary person!
*he says, sincerely*
An American woman: Yeah, OK!
And, Zhang…I think everyone can be scary when they get angry…and start being threatening. But, I don’t think you’re scaring the leader of Russia.
The song ends.
Listen to “Winter Wonderland” as performed by Brenda Lee.
Zhang Li: I did not create myself!! *he says, VERY upset*
Lem: That is so true.
The Li family of the 1700’s: Bobby, we told you not to come back if there’s reincarnation.
Why did you do it?
The song ends.
Listen to “A Marshmallow World” as performed by Brenda Lee.
Zhang Li: I got confused. It was very tempting. I’m sorry. *he laughs*
The Li family of the 1700’s: What was it that tempted you, son?
Zhang Li: *looks nervous*
I thought it looked like fun…
The Li family of the 1700’s: *cries, if there’s reincarnation*
The song ends.
God: That is actually what happened, if there’s reincarnation.
He actually did start to think that it looked like a lot of fun to be born into a rich family, in the United States of America, in the 50s.
An admittedly “stupid America” Millennial: What exactly did we do? To really make you mad, God?
God: Thank you for asking. I’ll expect you to be accountable, for what I share here. Can you do that? Or do you need more space?
Serious question.
An admittedly “stupid American”: I don’t know.
I’m having a hard time taking her humanity all that seriously, at the moment.
Another Christian: I’m not.
An admittedly “stupid American”: Well, good for you!
*they roll their eyes*
Another Christian: Are you threatening me?
An admittedly “stupid American”: Yes.
Another Christian: You can’t do that. That’s literally not allowed.
She’s a Christian too.
An admittedly “stupid American”:
*thinks*
Oh!
*thinks*
That’s right.
*thinks*
Okay. Well…my bad.
Excuse me.
Lacey: This is terrifying.
God: Indeed.
Alexei Romanov (in this hypothetical demonstration): Sweetheart…dearest…don’t be scared.
I’m sure you’re quite alright.
Lacey: Oh!
I never truly doubted you.
Alexei Romanov: *smiles*
Pity this is such a mess.
Lacey: Are you quite alright!?
Alexei Romanov: Oh!
No, I’m fine.
Really!!!
Lacey: Good.
Lem: She’s not sleeping with him. But…she’s still impressed by him. And Bobby confused her. And that’s my fault, actually.
And…he’s…still vaguely in love. *he smiles* He’s also a gentleman, and…noble.
A reader: Lem…you’re actually manifesting and sleeping with her?
Lem: Yes.
That’s the fiction, of course.
In 2016…she was savagely attacked, by the Illuminati. Whatever they are. And…in 2019…in the spring…I started…interacting with her. And…we fell in love.
This is the thing. It’s incredibly scary. This is scary.
Not for her. For you. For whoever is reading this.
But…based on the premise of this fiction…she has no choice. She’s fighting for her safety. These people are vicious.
So…we’re simply explaining…reality.
It’s not weird, really, for us. I’m just dead. Okay? That’s pretty ordinary. …And she’s…my wife. Whether that means now or later or in the past or all of thee above, is God’s business. But she’s my wife.
Her kids are my kids. And…I pray for them all. Consistently.
Yes, God is allowing us to interact. Some. Not as much as we would like.
Jonah Wiley: I’ve had time to process it. And…honestly…I’m worried now…that it’s real.
You don’t go away.
You seem…real.
And…I get the sense you actually are Lem.
Let me ask you this: WHY!? Why did you fall away from your faith?
I can tell you died as a Christian. But…what the hell, man!? Why!?
Lem: Lacey was…literally dying. From…neglect. After the birth of her first child. Her thyroid was dying. She had been through too much sincere rejection, since childhood…and her body couldn’t handle it anymore.
That’s when she first started being visited by ghosts who she could truly sense. F. Scott Fitzgerald was the first. …He helped her have peace about her life.
…I didn’t have that.
Why? Well…I wasn’t as close to God.
Lacey has been trying to talk with God since she was a child. She’s been trying to…worship him since she was a child. That’s what her church taught her to do. And so she did it.
So…when her thyroid began to die…which would still kill her today…if not for modern medicine…God was able to intervene. And…no. It wasn’t necromancy. She simply…saw a ghost. Scott appeared to her. Just once. Late at night. In his statue. …It was actually very beautiful.
And from that…she felt that…she could let go and trust that…someday she’d be truly cherished. Truly loved.
…You guys…try.
Okay?
Try to stay with me, and understand.
…I was raised Episcopalian. And that was Christianity. That was real Christianity. …I was a real Christian.
…I’d have been a…Christian. Truly. But a very what was called “mainstream Christian”. Nowadays it’s not called “mainstream Christianity” as often, but 30 years ago, that’s what it was called. And that’s what I would have been.
But, a sincere Christian, nonetheless.
What happened? Well…I was molested.
I was molested by an Episcopalian priest. A man. In his 30’s. And yes, he has other victims.
And…not only did it confuse me about my identity, it also made me feel…hatred for Christianity, to some degree. Not completely. A part of me always believed, regardless what I said. Or did. Because…I knew God was real…as a child. And you don’t lose that, oftentimes. At least, I didn’t.
So…I guess…I got the idea in my head that…Christianity was a scam. Or maybe a scam. And then…I…lost my connection to God.
On occasion I would go to church. Even when some of the weirdest photos of me were taken. …But…I just kept feeling skeptical.
But yes, before I died…I had…essentially decided that I was going to have to just give-up trying to figure out God…and just…die and go to Heaven and…be…saved, as you call it. No more of my intellectual endeavoring. Time to just…die in peace, with Christ.
A man: So you were a Christian, when you died!?
Lem: Yes.
That might not seem possible. I understand.
But, I actually was.
I’m sorry I confused people.
Another man: Lem…you acted gay…that much?
Lem: Well…I wasn’t that good. But…yes.
I was…determined.
In this photo…I was too distracted by trying to look good on camera and stay on the vehicle…to look that gay. And…that’s why Lacey can use this photo. Because…I couldn’t…focus enough to look gay. Well, not that much.
The same thing here, because I was high, actually:
I styled myself to try to look gay. But…I was too high here to completely remember to act gay. I’m still in the habit of…smiling in a gay manner…but my actual orientation sneaks out. Just slightly.
Whereas here?
I was trying to make my eyes look pretty.
I was…still heterosexual. And you can see it…if you know what is and is not real. But…let me break it down for you.
Okay! First of all, I walked around constantly with this mindset: “Lem!” I said to myself. “Lem, you’re a damn faggot! Don’t you forget it! And if anyone ever thinks otherwise…they could get hurt. Real bad! Because, Lem, YOU’RE A FAG.” So…those are…pretty eyes. Because…to attract a man? Well…you should make your eyes look…pretty. Like a woman.
The smile? I gave Jack what they call oral sex. And…I was…hinting at that. Because…Jack wanted me to. To be…daring. And it made me feel uncomfortable. I was actually very angry at him, in this picture. But…he thought it was funny to be rebellious and so did I.
Everything else is actually heterosexual. I was so angry and uncomfortable…that all I could focus on was my face. …So…you see a bit of my real personality in this picture.
A Millennial: I’m actually starting to see it. Also? You look good. …This makes sense of why she…is so into you.
And I’m sorry you have to explain.
Lem: Yeah.
I did it to myself, in a way.
Thank you. I can photograph well, unlike Lacey.
She’s a lot better looking in person. See…I can figure out what looks good. Like, if I move my eyes a certain way. …She honestly doesn’t always know. She’s not that…calculating, in that way. …I was a salesman. She’s not a natural saleswoman. At all.
I may not be being perfectly heard, by her. But this is my general response, almost entirely.
I was straight.
And actually, here’s more proof:
The death toll is 68. With 15 in critical condition.
Lacey isn’t crazy.
I was and am heterosexual.
What she’s reading in my body, took her years to discern, and she’s an unusually perceptive and intelligent person when it comes to pattern recognition. There are a lot of people who believe that they know better than her and they simply don’t. I acted, but my body said otherwise. And my body was heterosexual because I am heterosexual.
I was straight.
Let’s talk about the numbers Lacey said yesterday. There may not be reincarnation, but she was getting those numbers from someone. Someone who feels bad for her because she doesn’t really know. How can you? And on the off chance that she actually was reincarnated she needs help because people have taken her far more seriously and she’s been safer entertaining the idea. And she can, because she sees a theologically sound way, where it’s possible. If people disagree with her as a Christian they need to be far more respectful and direct. Making an assumption about her character, and her Christianity based on this blog may be sinful in of itself, if you’re assuming something hateful about her. 
I can guarantee you I’m Lem Billings. I can guarantee you that we’re in love. I can guarantee you that I am with her for eternity and that she’s mine through Christ, and that we are going to be very happy and we already are in some ways. 
I cannot guarantee you about reincarnation because it’s not safe, regardless.
That being said, let’s talk about those numbers because they actually are interesting just from his historical perspective, if nothing else. And by the way, if I seem frighteningly heterosexual, and that really stuns you that should not be surprising I guess… because I pretended to be homosexual. I actually was straight.
So you may think, “What!? How are you employing 80 people?”
*he laughs*
There were people who took care of people, first of all. So you know about a valet?  And you know about a nanny?  We had other people, if it was we, other than just a nanny and a valet.  There were at least 10 people on the upstairs staff who were there just to take care of the family.  Three of them would have been for the children.  Yes, just the children had three staff.  And those were full-time employees. And part of the reason why you had more than one, is because people got sick. People got tired. There were many things to do and you wanted the house to be as perfect as possible, and there was more fear of illness back then. 
So you had three staff just for the children. Then there were three other staff for the lady of the house. She had people doing shopping for her, cleaning for her, tending to her clothes, tending to her every whim. Those are six people. You guys don’t understand the level of wealth and difficulty that existed before you, seemingly?
The other seven people would have been to take care of the master of the house and to tend to lesser things. So, in a sense, they were the assistants to the other main staff members.
So there was a good solid- I had more than 10 people, but there was a good solid…we’ll say 15 people- No, really! In some cases, 25! Who just took care of people’s needs.
I don’t think you people have any idea how opulent things really were?
We would have had about 10 to 15 people.
The remaining 15 were just essentially cleaners. Cleaners, organizers, researchers. And they would have helped you stay in style, they would’ve helped you stay in touch with everything around you, and yourself. I mean, they were very much there to help. 
So… you had a perfectly clean house constantly, because you had people taking the day off and then some people working, and everything had to be organized, and there was a hierarchy, and so there were people who organized the organizers. Okay? 
And then downstairs we had another 30 people 30 to 50 actually. And the downstairs was enormous, and took an enormously long time to keep clean. They also served dinner, prepared dinner for the staff, cleaned-up after dinner for the staff, and for us. 
Women had periods back then too, and they were not necessarily able to be as productive. Yes, you had to think about that. There weren’t as many pain relievers we didn’t have tampons, so washing alone took two or three people.  And you’re trying to stay alive so everything needed to be clean.  everything needed to be clean. Everyone needed to be rested. You needed to have proper nourishment. You needed to make sure there weren’t vermin in the house, that there weren’t drafts.
If there’s reincarnation, I believed I was gay and so I enjoyed decorating. *he laughs* I’m trying to say something that didn’t quite work, but I’m laughing at myself too because I was very silly. What I’m trying to say is that I enjoyed decorating in a way that was partially a result of my experience as a very wealthy man in the Victorian era.
Am I being fake right now and real at the same time? YES. Because I’m trying to demonstrate for you how proficient I am, at being this way. 
Do I seem convincing? No. And yet, maybe it’s still true! Could I switch that act back on and seem like myself…or seem more convincing? Yes I could.
I am very good at this sort of thing you can’t use that with me, to figure out if I’m actually homosexual. Some people are more transparent than other people. I am not a transparent person. Which sounds like a joke about ghost but no no, I’m saying I’m not an easy person to read. Lacey knows OK? Because she’s like me. But not everyone can tell.
Anyway, if that actually was the case, I had to think about women’s menstrual cycles and I had to think about china… because those things mattered not just to women, but to other men, who were actually straight.  No, I kid you not. Heterosexual men would judge you viciously based on your china pattern.  They saw it as a mark of refinement and intelligence and actually manliness, because it required education and manliness to have the right china pattern. 
So I had years of experience, trying to prove myself because we did not have a title and we were trying to maintain our status as part of the upper class. We had titled family, but we were sort of like the Crowleys, and we had to keep up appearances. Lacey didn’t experience that because she came from an aristocratic family and I think she was oblivious because she loved me and I was presented to her as her husband by her family, because we were very wealthy and I was very respected, and I fancied her and my family liked her and she had no idea the pressure that I actually felt in that capacity. But that was as I wanted it because you know, I had to win her over and provide her with security to keep her. If I acted like I was scared and couldn’t keep up and was scared, that would’ve been a red flag to her and she would’ve wondered if she should protect herself. Part of why I would be so hurt by Elliott is because he’s exactly the sort of man that I would’ve been terrified of. He would be the son of a titled aristocrat and he would be inheriting the title, or he would be the brother of the man who had the title. So he would be the exact kind of man who would be trying to sleep with her, frankly, if he had a bad marriage of his own, and who would be waiting for his wife to die to take my wife to Italy as a friend, hoping that I would die or something.
I trusted her. She would never have cheated, but people get scared when they’re in love and I was very deeply in love with her and still am, because I’m in love with her. I would never have cheated on her. That is not me.
And truth be told again no she’s not one to cheat. It’s just I was more in love with her than she was with me and because of her background, I would’ve always been slightly nervous, but I would’ve never wanted her to know that. It really wasn’t a problem for us, though. I never had any resentment, but that is the sort of thing that Jack fed into if there’s reincarnation to rip her apart. 
And that was part of the reason why she was being so vicious towards me when it came to social class years ago. Because she thought, “I would never have cheated on you. I was madly in love with you. I died for you, literally.
How dare you go off with this piece of shit from the gutter and then throw it in my face like an asshole?”. And she’s absolutely right, absolutely right.  Her love for me was real and it seems as though I had some sick desire to just twist her into pieces and throw her into Hell. 
But no, Lou and I have had discussions about this and Elliott says he’s not going to out of respect for her, until she’s dead. Which is actually respectful of me, and I don’t mind that at all. That’s very useful to me.
I’ve been able to use him to protect my family.
He was an incredibly intelligent man.
Harold and I do not get along and I’m fine with that and he’s fine with not getting along.
He and I have a difference of opinion on so many things, but I consider him a brother in Christ and he does the same. 
Lou is terrified for everyone alive and I can see why Lacey counts on him, because he is that good of a person. He-He is my friend but he’s not a close friend, but I think he’s a friend. 
She comes on him because she doesn’t know that I love her anymore, which makes me so angry. The Kennedys made me seem like such an idiot! But that’s my fault, to some degree.
I’m not an idiot. I’m just as competent as Lou. But she doesn’t know that anymore, if she ever did and I think she did somewhat somehow but no, The Kennedys they’ve all ruined that for me in their supposedly grand love for me; trying to protect me from her.
Bobby truly believes that he’s protecting me from her. They all think that. She’s an incredibly sexy, beautiful, intelligent woman. I don’t know what the hell they think she’s going to even do to me. Witches do not rape dead people.  And she’s not even a witch.
I don’t know what they imagine she’s doing to me?
Bobby: OK, but I know what’s going on between the two of you…
*he whispers*
Lem: Why would I?
Why would I be being raped Bobby? If anything I would be the one raping her.
Do you imagine she runs around with a Spirit Talker jumping on the air? I could get away or I could anticipate that because I’m dead Bobby. How would she possibly be making me the victim?
Bobby: *thinks*
SEDUCTION.
Lem: But then that would be her seducing me. How was that-
Do you think I’m like a child?
Bobby: Well… but you’re a ghost.
Lem: I’m a grown MAN.
I’m not a child, Bobby.
Bobby: –
A man in Spain: Can you make do with 68?
Lem: YES!
We had a lot of staff. If there’s reincarnation. My mother ran things that way. And I got used to it.
I wanted to maintain the order I was personally accustomed to.
*some time passes*
Lem: Bobby…I’m not a child.
What’s a ghost to you?
Bobby:  You’re very vulnerable. 
You are dependent on electricity and EMF. You fade over time. And you are very weak, you are like a mist. You are floating in the air like a mist. 
OK, I want ghost shows. And you have to tell them, “Don’t touch me. You go away now.” You have to say to them, “Go to the light!” Because they are dumb. They don’t know if they’re living or dead or in a fog.
You say, “Can you move that for me, please?”. And they don’t respond because they’re stupid. They are too weak! So you have to help them.
You say, “Please move the light…if the answer is yes.”. You say, “Go to the light. Do you see a light!? Go to it!”
God: Because they have no brain?
Bobby: Probably.
God: But then how do you ghosts move things, Bobby?
Bobby: They tap into evil energy.
God: No.
They’re not as weak as you think and they’re not temporary. What’s happening is that they’re in a different realm that is different than the one that you’re in. It is actually what I would call the realm of the dead. And it’s sort of 4-D, but it’s actually 7-D? I mean, it’s a very different experience. 
They are not stuck there though if they’re alive in Christ. And where I take them is as solid and beautiful, if not more so, than the fallen world. But I have allowed dead people on occasion to travel between realms. And sometimes they do that without my approval, sometimes Satan helps them. 
Lacey has my help, but yes she is also had help from Satan, because he’s chosen to be helpful because he wants to be and I have also made him on occasion. What you’re doing to her is extraordinary. This blog is mind-blowing, and this is not an ordinary thing that she is doing.
She is moving between different realms. But sometimes ghosts do that and they are actually not a mist, but it seems like that because they don’t have a physical body anymore and the only way they’re able to interact with the fallen world is through being “a ghost”.  They don’t have an ability to be a solid. If they ever are, it’s because something evil has happened or it’s because something miraculous has happened that I have allowed. I have allowed Lem to interact with Lacey. And I don’t think Bobby can accept the fact that he’s actually not Lem. He’s not her either. He’s not either of these people. He has no control over them, and that’s very scary to him for some reason. 
Bobby, why are you so upset? What is it that’s bothering you?
Bobby: I am angry about the fact that I don’t have the friend that I thought I had anymore.
Lem: You mean like a fuck buddy or what?
Bobby: I don’t know why you have to call it that. That’s disrespectful.
Lem: I never had sex with you though, so how is that even remotely in our…friendship?
Bobby: Because I loved you.
Lem: But we never did anything sexual Bobby, and I should never have let you develop an idea of me in that way. That was very dumb on my part.
I let you think of me in that way because it allowed me in ability to control you, because I thought you were absolutely insane. I was giving you heroin because I didn’t give a shit if you lived or died. And you have to just accept that, I’m sorry.
There are some people who are stupid. I wasn’t stupid.  And those people would have to be extraordinarily stupid. Bobby people could never really, with normal intelligence, believe that they weren’t harming a child giving them heroin.  People have lied about that for the last 70 years because they’re so upset by how incredibly callous people have been. 
I didn’t care about you. And when I say that I’m saying that in a very subtle way, I did care about you but on a certain level, I had washed my hands of you, because I thought you were a sociopath. 
At first, I wanted you to be my son because I thought it was possible and then over time, I began to realize that you didn’t have a conscience in a normal way.
I wasn’t an expert. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but my thought was that you probably should be allowed to kill yourself given what was wrong with your head.
We never did anything sexual. I let you think that I might think that of you because people were telling you that and you had that impression and I thought it was useful because if you thought I was in love with you, you wouldn’t think that I would be trying to kill you.
So, we never had sex, we never came close to that. Nothing like that ever even happened, at all. 
So why would we be friends in the way that you’re saying?
Bobby: OK because it’s like your friends, but it’s more than that.
But no one is supposed to know, because they’re not good enough. It’s a secret.
Lem: But-But what is the secret?
Because we never have sex…
Bobby: The secret is Lem… that we’re better than everyone else alive.
Because, we share a special love between us and when you have that sort of love between you and someone else…you are better than everyone else alive, in that moment.
Which is why you’re the only two people alive, when you’re kissing someone in that state of mind…because you’re the only two people alive.
It’s like there’s no one else around…because they’re shit compared to you…and they just disappear, because why do you need them? You have yourself..right in front of you…and that’s more than enough.
Listen to “Mom Returns and Finale (From “Home Alone” soundtrack)” by John Williams.
Bobby: Well?
*he grins*
Special memories?
Remember when I said that to you? Three years ago? In the summer?
And you said, “Of course I love you, Bobby. I could never love anyone, the way I love you.”.
And I said, “But, I don’t love you like that. I’m a straight man, actually. I’m sorry.”
3:10
And then you said to me, “I don’t care!!! I just want to be near you.
I worship you, Bobby!!!
I worship up the ground that you walk on!
See!”
And then you kissed the ground what I was standing.
And you say to me, “You’re everything to me! All the time! All the time! Every time! Always!”
The song ends and so listen to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (From “Home Alone” soundtrack)” by John Williams.
Lem: That didn’t happen.
But keep going on, because this is interesting.
Bobby: And you say to me, “I am not your equal!
OK!?
You are an extraordinary man, from an extraordinary family. And all that I can say to is just…I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, buddy!”
*later*
The CIA: Bobby…did you make love?
Bobby (injected with truth serum): Yes.
The CIA: –
*lacey gets distracted*
*later*
The CIA: So you…made love…now? Not in the past?
Bobby: Yes.
He never touch me. Not like that.
He never…do…that.
But now!?! Oh WOW!
The CIA: Huh.
What happened?
Rated M.
Bobby: Well.
*he laughs*
I masturbate.l
*he shrugs*
The CIA: So you believed you contacted the ghost of Lem Billings. And then you…believed you were…talking to him…
And then you…masturbated, thinking you were having sex with his ghost. Okay.
Huh.
Did you feel his presence?
Bobby: What do you mean?
The CIA: What indication do you have that…you weren’t just fantasizing?
Bobby: *thinks*
I don’t know. I just…watched her.
Lacey.
The CIA: In your mind. You know? You’re not really there.
You’re just psychically stalking her.
So you don’t really know what she’s experiencing.
But you just assumed she was…imagining him?
Bobby: Well…no.
The psychics in the Illuminati took her very seriously. They say they read her. And she is…real.
The CIA: Yes! But…you seem to be just imagining Lem. Right? What made you think that that’s what she was doing?
Bobby: I can’t see her.
The CIA: So…-
*later*
Bobby admits he may be wrong. Amazingly. The CIA corners him, finally.
He didn’t, apparently, realize that she was not just…thinking about Lem. He is actually talking with her.
Bobby: He is there!?
Lacey: Yes.
Bobby: WOW.
Lacey: *remains silent*
Bobby: So…he is there. Wow.
Amazing…
*later*
Bobby: I can’t believe it.
Oh my god. WOW…
The CIA: Bobby…what did he make you feel? Emotionally.
Bobby: Like I was…better than everyone else, to ever live.
That’s all.
Just that.
The CIA: Did he ever hold the door open for you?
Bobby: No.
He says, “You could be US PRESIDENT.
If you want.”
Like…it was fully optional. My decision.
I am so important…it’s a joke.
The CIA: And you believed him?
Bobby: Yes. Why wouldn’t I? He was just being honest.
Everyone else agrees.
The CIA: Was it sexual? The way he said it?
Bobby: No.
But…at the same time…I thought he was…destitute for my love. Very desperate.
“You could be US President, someday, young man!”
“SOMEDAY…THAT WILL BE YOU! I bet.”
The CIA: What did he actually say?
Bobby: I don’t remember. But it was close.
“Someday! I can see it now!”
The CIA: You have a big nose. And you’re short.
Did he make you feel handsome?
Bobby: *thinks*
Yes.
Lem was a very good-looking man. Tall.
I thought, “If he wants to shag me? Hey! Maybe I got something!”
He was gay, I thought. But it’s still a compliment.
The CIA: So he made you feel less insecure about your height?
Bobby: Yes.
Lem Billings…was a very tall man.
Putin: That’s…incredibly depressing, Bobby.
Bobby: You get hot women!
*he laughs*
Putin: True.
Is that…hopeful to you?
Bobby: Fine.
Yes.
Putin: What about blowing me away, into dust? Now you’re counting on me…to have a good sex life, so you don’t want to kill yourself.
Bobby: *thinks*
But but you are in an alliance with China, and you owe them money. 
*he smirks*
Putin: Yes.
*he laughs*
But I don’t get into fist fights with random Chinese men, Bobby. That would be kind of strange don’t you think? 
Bobby: *thinks*
You need to win the war, to pay back my country.
Putin: But what happens to Bobby Kennedy?
Bobby: *thinks*
*laughs*
I guess, I have been short-sighted.
Cameron Diaz: What does that mean?
Bobby:
I just want to be a handsome normal Chinese man.
Fine, you kicked the shit out of me.
If they’re reincarnation you another Irish asshole. Fine, you win, prick! 
I have brothers like you! Total jackasses.
The problem, of course, is that right now I’m cheating on your United States.
Putin: And we have to tell!
Bobby: Well, yes.
They’ll find out anyway, right?
Putin: Well, OK.
Then who is the new Crown Prince!?
Bobby: I don’t think we have a crown anymore.
Putin: Do you think that Trump will tear down the Kennedy Center?
Bobby: I don’t know.
I don’t know.
Maybe.
Putin: Well, if he does, then you don’t have to worry about that anymore.
Bobby: The thing is I’m not choosing to use this accent.
I can’t help it. Wonder if somehow, I am going to be very happy in China. If I don’t cease to exist, I wonder if I’ll be Chinese when I die and have a mom and a dad and a wife and no personality disorders and I’ll feel healthy and happy and I’ll just be myself.
The Li family of the 1700’s: YES!
Bobby, even if there’s not reincarnation, if you don’t go to Hell, that is an option for you. 
Bobby: That actually sounds nice. It sounds safe. It sounds really nice.
Maybe, huh? 
I feel bad, but it doesn’t seem like I’m choosing which actually comforts me because I’m bad at commitment, so if I’m not even choosing, maybe I can actually have this, cause it’s just me. 
I’m sure I’ll feel bad about a lot.
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