A hater: I’m gonna explain to Lacey how easy she is as a target, because she doesn’t get it.
Lacey: Okay.
A hater: OK you’re faking it. You’re actually extremely upset right now. I can read that on you. *she says, adamantly nodding her head yes*
Lacey: OK actually-
A hater: No, no.
I don’t wanna hear that from you.
Because, I want you to know that I can see through you…and this is first- this is the first part of your lesson.
Lacey: OK.
Do, I get to say something? Or are you just gonna keep talking?
A hater: I can’t believe you’re saying that!
Lacey: Do I get to say-
A hater: No, no! No, no, you shut-up and listen to me for a change!! *she screams*
Lacey: *shrugs*
A hater: OK, I’m gonna put you in your place!
Lacey: *smiles and blinks*
A hater: Dammit! Say something! I’m freaking out!
Oh my God!!!
Lacey: *just stares at her, waiting*
A hater: I don’t- I don’t understand what we’re doing right now. 
*she acts weirded-out*
Lacey: *just waits*
A hater: I think you’re completely crazy, because you started this conversation!!!
And you were gonna tell me something!!!
I had it in my head.
I knew what you were gonna say, cause I see through you! And then you chickened-out because you’re a worthless piece of shit!
Lacey: *blinks and waits*
A hater: OK, so this is getting funny!
Lacey: *waits*
A hater: What would you like to say to me! Just tell me!
Lacey: *waits*
A hater: Well, this is reactive abuse. Because I’m a really normal ordinary person and you’re not and I was gonna tell you something useful, cause I’m all worked up because you did something crazy to me 1 million years ago and I know that from a dream and you were gonna do that, and then I started talking to you and you put me in my place in a way that was very abusive: by blinking. *she says seriously*
And I just wanna know what your problem is with me, because we go way back we were lovers. You were in love with me. You were madly in love with me and I knew that the whole time OK!? You were a man! Cause you’re not really a woman right now! No, you’re not. No, you’re not a woman! No, you’re not prettier than me. No, you’re fucking not-
*she dissolves into tears and walks-off*
Lacey: *yells after her*
You’re completely bat-shit crazy!
I don’t know you from Adam. Practically.
Don’t ever speak to me again until we’re in the physical presence of the living Jesus Christ face to face, you fucking bat-shit crazy freak.
*a moment passes*
Another hater: I think that woman was slightly schizophrenic and had a personality disorder. I’m not that crazy.
So that would be my first criticism of you. How do you not- 
Why are you treating her like she’s normal when that’s not her capacity as a human being?
Lacey: Because I don’t know that she has that disorder until it becomes obvious, and I doubt, really, that you did either. 
Another hater: Ok that’s true.
OK now I’m gonna sound crazy too, because I feel like you just wanna lead the show.
Lacey: We’re not in a show.
We’re supposed to be talking to each other like adults. Do you have a brain or should I treat you like you’re nothing?
Another hater: OK you know what!?
I’m being a total bitch to you! And incredibly condescending!
So I like your lordly attitude. It’s really cute and charming and sexy.
So now you’re better than me huh? Cause, that’s what this is about, isn’t it?
Lacey: OK I’m defending myself. Why aren’t you allowing me to do that?
Why are you in infantilizing me, right now?
Another hater: Because I hate you, and that’s the only thing I can think to do.
Lacey: So you’re not trying to have a real conversation. You just wanna shit in my face and then have me go “Oh wow, you’re amazing! That’s really terrible!”? Or what? You’re just obsessed with beating me up?
Another hater: I’m from the perfume community. I have a feeling I watched you and you don’t have a clue who I even am at all.
And that means that it’s a one-sided beef, granted, yes, OK. Fine, fine. But that’s not OK with me.
Because you’re supposed to notice me!! *she screams*
Lacey: Why was I supposed to notice you?
Another hater: *yells expletives*
You’re always protecting yourself and your boundaries and winning, aren’t you?!?
That’s so important to you!! To be a really competent person!
You’re so competent!!
*she says, in a smarmy voice*
Lacey:  OK, so what are you mad about? 
A hater: Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.
Lacey: …You sound like a total fucking idiot…from the gutter.
Do you want me to just say that to you? That you’re embarrassing yourself…and you’re a mess…or what?
A hater: You’re so nice though! I know that.
Lacey: …You seem like a crazy person.
You’re telling me not to talk to you like you’re a child…and just tell you what I’m actually thinking. …So I’m trying to do that.
Another hater: OK, I know I’m basically perfect.
That’s how I feel about myself. If I’m being honest.
But, maybe I’m not.
Lacey: Why are you so overly sensitive to my tone, if you genuinely think you’re perfect?
Another hater: Have I approved of you?
Lacey: I don’t need your approval…because I’m not pathetic.
Another hater: OK, well…I’m not like that. …I am pathetic.
I need people‘s approval.
Lacey: So you’re hyper-sensitive to people’s tone?
Another hater: I guess so? Yes?
Lacey: So you already noticed, that I was noticing your flaws?
Another hater: You’re very threatening to me because I am a competent person, but I’m not necessarily as smart as you…and I just don’t like that.
So, sometimes I ignore that. When people are like that to me? …But, I noticed right off the bat, that you thought I was an idiot…and I think it irritates you.
Lacey: That could be true. But then, you aren’t as smart as me…so what exactly do you want me to do for you?
Another hater: I want you to make me feel better about the fact…that I’m not as smart as you.
Lacey: How how exactly would I do that?
Another hater: OK because, like, I would see through it?
Lacey: I think that’s very likely, yes.
Another hater: You know it’s so subtle…that I think it’s almost imperceptible. But, I noticed it over time…and it just really irritated me…so when people started badmouthing you, I got excited. Cuzzz… I thought, “This is my chance to really kick her in the ass!”
Lacey: Do you care at all that I’m trying to be kind to you…
…and you’re being…a belligerent…entitled…BITCH…or not?
Another hater: OK, that’s true.
So that’s just your personality?
Lacey: You know… it is… you FUCKING IDIOT!
Yeah… you, retarded whore!
Or…whatever-the-hell-it-is…that you even…are.
DUH!
…You can’t stand that I’m smart.
Can you?
You bitch! …You have no respect for me.
If you could handle the fact that I was smarter than you…like an actual intellectual…not some cruel piece of shit from the gutter…you wouldn’t even be bothered by me…you small-minded fuckard…
A German woman: *laughs*
Lacey: Shh! Don’t laugh!
I want her to think I’m being completely serious.
Another hater: OK!
OK, fine.
I’m being very violent…and high-strung…and ahh…emotional. And…I’m way over-the-top.
*she snickers with her other girlfriends-friends who did well…on their SAT and still LIVE for that moment*
And…I’m maybe not quite all…of those things. Alright.
*she pats herself on the back*
And yes, you’re right. You can’t just depend on other people to give you a sense of self!
I mean…that’s accurate. You have to learn how to distinguish criticism from abuse.
*she fake cries*
I was a little too presumptuous with you, I think.
Lacey: I bet one of the first things you ever said to me, was incredibly condescending and insecure.
Another hater: Yeah, I’m not holding myself accountable for that.
*she snickers*
Lacey: OK. So… you were very ridiculous to me…and I know myself.
I know that I’m not quite that stupid.
So, then, how am I supposed to treat you…like you’re smart?
Another hater: Yeah, OK.
*she snickers and grins, congratulating herself*
OK!
So… I can’t handle the fact that you’re so sophisticated…because that’s very threatening to me egotistically…and yet…I don’t even think that’s what it is. …I think that’s just who you are…and that’s even worse.
I mean, you’re kind of like Jackie Kennedy, but scarier.
*she laughs at herself, now*
And I- I really can’t handle that. OK? Because…I am actually…kind of stupid…in that way.
Let’s just say: I’m an idiot.
I actually am, in that way.
I really actually am…that stupid, Lacey. I actually am that stupid.
*she stops and thinks*
No, but you can tell! …You know that I’m actually a pretty smart cookie. …No, you know I’m a smart person.
Yeah, OK fine.
I’m a smart person.
*she unwittingly starts to sound like Amon Goeth, in “Schindler’s List”*
Fuck!
I can’t handle you!
Which is pathetic…on my part. …And, I am smart enough to know that, at this point.
OK, fine. You win. You devilish muse.
OK…so-
I really am that stupid. I really am that stupid.
*she waits*
Lacey: OK, well then…how do I trust you? Because, you’re sort of dangerous.
Another hater: *COMPLETELY misses Lacey’s obvious accent, and can’t stop laughing at her*
OK, well…that’s a very fair point.
Lacey: And that’s sad…because you seemed like a fun person.
Do you realize that, about yourself?
Another hater: No, and yes.
*she rolls her eyes, deciding Lacey is absolutely peasant shit*
I think part of what’s devastating…if I’m allowing myself to just being an intellectual, potentially. Maybe I’m not an intellectual?
*she feels incredibly humble and UNBELIEVABLY holy*
But…I’m not stupid.
It is…that…you’re really smart…and actually…if you look like Scotia…and that’s what your photographs are supposed to look like? Your fine features…are probably really distinct, even though they’re fine…
*she rolls her eyes and scoffs*
And… I have a feeling you really are extremely beautiful-
*”Not like me, according to facial symmetry SCIENCE!! Because you can’t trust the human eye nor the human dick. AND I OBVIOUSLY WIN!!!!” she comforts herself, by saying to herself.*
But… in this sort of like German way…that also looks like Scotia.
Tom: Yes. That is what my daughter looks like, if you’re taking what you’re saying, literally. She does look like that. …The idea you just described.
Another hater: Yeah.
*she doesn’t want to believe Tom Banks is Lacey’s father*
That really is beautiful.
And then…that’s where I have to grow-up and realize that you really look like Scotia, if you know what I mean, and damn! OK! So, that means that like you’re hotter than Miss America, you’re possibly hotter than Marilyn Monroe, but it’s in this like German, intellectual, sophisticated way.
*she forces herself to believe that Donald Trump regularly rapes Ivanka to feel morally superior, and so she assumes willfully that Tom Banks was as bad…even though, historically, that makes absolutely no sense*
So, then that means that if you broke Joe Kennedy Junior’s sad, lonely heart, and ran off with Kirk LeMoyne Billings of the Billings family, a friend of Jack’s from Choate? Or Heaven forbid, Michael Rockefeller. …And we all know about Elliott.
*she makes a weird, silent pause here*
…I can only imagine what that would’ve looked like.
*she also is weirdly quiet here*
Or some jackass from Minnesota, who is leaving his second wife for you?
*”Man! I can’t let myself believe she’s that pretty! It’s immoral.” she tells herself.*
I don’t know what they would’ve done with Harold though- *she laughs* I almost think they would have just lied about it completely.
But, that’s the thing. …That doesn’t scare you?
Lacey: Absolutely not.
Because, I don’t fuck you, yeah, that’s not our relationship.
I am screwing somebody else.
Just one person.
And that’s my vagina and that’s my soul.
So…you don’t get to touch me, in that way…and if you don’t like it, that’s not my problem. I’ll just die!
Another hater: OK, absolutely true.
*”SHE REALLY IS A HUGE…EVIL BITCH!” she says to herself.*
I love that you’re supporting Peggy Flanagan. Aww!
Because yeah, my body is my own body too.
*”There’s no way she’s for real. She cannot be one of us.” she says to herself.*
Damn, we are a melodramatic culture.
But that being said, that is very true.
The thing is the Lacey…it would make people sad.
So, it like…actually affects people. …You’re actually making people sad.
Lacey: *thinks*
Why though?
Another hater: OK…
*she’s temporarily confused*
Because, the backstory…is probably that Joe ran off with Pat…and they’re badly in love…and you’re just like, “Dude, chill! This is for the best!” and, you’re right.
But then…I’m gunna think, “Why isn’t that me!?” because, if I was in her shoes… I would never do that.
I would never…throw away…that kind opportunity.
Lacey: Are you absolutely sure about that?
Another hater: *nods and smiles, feeling very kind and empathetic*
And…this is why you left the perfume community.
Mm. Yes.
You know, yes.
I want to say no, though.
Because, I’m sure he would be an asshole to me…and I know he would never love me…the way that I need…and I would be miserable…if I took it seriously.
*she congratulates herself, for some reason*
I think Lem took it seriously, *she snickers* as much as he could, *she snickers*
*”SHE NEVER HAS SEX! That’s the only explanation?” she says to Casi, Marsie and Alisha in a group chat*
…because he was straight. I really…actually…truly…think that makes complete sense.
*she snickers and bites her thumb, feeling…delicious*
I think Jackie took it as seriously as she could, and it affected her, but that’s where-
*she looks confused*
…I think she was different than the two of you-
*she gets sexual images in her head of Lacey and Lem and feels stupid and ugly and wants to kill herself, here…and it catches her off-guard and she…just…blindly ignores it*
And they would’ve had to let you go because if they didn’t, they would’ve been fucked.
*she snickers*
Lem was safe…because he was actually secretly heterosexual, except…I wonder if he actually did help shoot Jack? In which case, no…he wasn’t safe, but it seemed like he was.
OK, but someone like me? I’m making a horrible case against America, right now. And capitalism. But that’s OK.
*she doesn’t believe it…but…she thinks it’s possible this sort of thing can be taken seriously, and she decides to humor Lacey in this moment and join her in taking “this sort of fake intelligence” seriously*
Somebody like me? Yes. Somebody…like me.
What I mean by that is…like….I’m making a really like….damaging anti-American argument-
But… somebody like me?
I think I actually would have married him…and been like Jackie…
Lacey: OK, but she was in a “mental institution” for a short while…and she had an eating disorder. …Are you sure it wouldn’t affect you?
Another hater: It might affect me…and I just don’t want to accept that.
Lacey: Yes, OK.
But… you would’ve also had more fun?
Another hater: Maybe.
Lacey: OK, and you…and your grandmother…and your mother…are angry about that?
Another hater: Yes.
*Casi laughs hysterically at Lacey, here, for some reason*
Lacey: Because, you might’ve had an eating disorder…and smoked pot and been angry or something…and drank too much, but you would’ve had a really fun time being Mrs. Joe Kennedy Junior.
Another hater: Yeah.
*Lacey realizes, here, that this woman is hearing this…and imagining it in print, so to speak, not in Lacey’s real voice*
Lacey: OK…so…let’s just have some fun.
What would you have done…if you had been his wife?
Another hater: OK, so I don’t envision myself being like Jackie or Joan-
Lacey: And what exactly does that mean?
Another hater: It just means-
*she rolls her eyes*
I would have had yellow in my wedding with gardenias or daffodils maybe? And been married in a beautiful, big, historic Catholic Church. Had tons of bridesmaids. And everyone would’ve seen me as like…the epitome of style…right from the beginning.
I wouldn’t have waited until I was helping him win the Presidency. I would’ve tried to be the center of attention… right from the beginning–
Lacey: Pat thinks like you.
But, I don’t think she ever thought that way, and to be honest with you…not to be mean, but…a part of me wondered why he never dated somebody who was like you. …Because, that would’ve been smart, politically.
And if we’re being really candid, that was actually one of the first moments, I started to really fall out of love with him…during this whole weird thing that I’ve experienced. When I realized that. …About seven years ago.
I thought, “Why isn’t he dating people who are smart to date?”. Because…he did date some people who were smart, like Athalia Ponsell and Katharine Hepburn, but that’s not the right person to date. He should’ve been dating someone like you.
I mean, he died with the presidency in mind. So it wouldn’t have been out of his way, to date an attractive, cunning, stylish woman…such as yourself, especially if you weren’t looking for some grand love affair. …That’s very stupid on his part.
Another hater: Would I even want him?
Lacey: Alright, with his clothes on…he was very handsome. With his clothes off…he was a little bit skinny.
I don’t know if that would bother you…or not?
Some women are more bothered by those things than others. I can’t handle it anymore.
But maybe…that’s not something that really bothers you about men. You know? Because, that’s being a straight woman…or being attracted to men. It’s complicated. So maybe that doesn’t even bother you? *she laughs*
It bothers me…but whatever.
But with his clothes on, he was handsome.
I mean…he had a very nice head of hair….and a very nice face and umm…with his clothes on…he was tall too, so he looked good.
Another hater: Oh!
*she thinks*
Yeah.
Lacey: So I don’t know if- if- if that doesn’t bother you, that doesn’t bother you.
I’m just being honest with you.
Another hater: So you, you were very not-
Lacey: Well, would it bother you or not?
Another hater: So…I’m just thinking maybe that it wouldn’t bother me.
I’m serious.
I think I was thinking, “No, he’s hot. He’s so hot!”. You know? And I’ve actually seen some pictures of him. …I’ve looked and OK. YOU WIN! …You’re right.
*she seems confused but…very confident, which strikes Lacey as surprising*
Lacey: You know you have to really study men from that generation.
Because some of them can look like they would be really good-looking…and then they’re not…and then some of them…the more you look at them, the more you can tell that they’re actually really very attractive.
I think that if you find him attractive here, you probably would have been able to marry him.
Another hater: *laughs at Lacey, for some reason*
OK then!
So…then…I should have been able to have my fantasy marriage or someone else should have…and something just is horribly wrong. You’re right, I guess.
But what I’m angry about, and is still making me angry…because I’m not really getting at what was bothering me…is just that it seems like…you don’t get it.
It’s like…I’m mad at you.
And… I’m like, “This is the reason why.”. And then you try to explain the reason…and I’m like, “That’s not why I’m mad.”
And then I think, “Why the hell, can’t I just accept that this is who you are?” Right!?
*she waits but Lacey just seems totally confused…*
I keep waiting for you to be someone else, I’m sorry.
Lacey: Yeah, you’re not really able to relate to me in a happy cheerful way. And… there’s nothing I can do about it.
Another hater: *seems confused now*
It is because…I’m not old money?
Lacey: That was what I came up with.
And… I was actually realizing that right now.
So…you are being helpful.
I was under a lot of stress, and I wasn’t realizing that you would take that the wrong way, most likely. That I’m old money.
Cause it’s not an insult. It really isn’t.
But then…you have to be deep and intellectual and big-minded. …And you have to see things in the big picture sense, and not be so focused on the hear and now materialistic stuff. You have to be able to think big picture. And then… it’s not really insulting…cuz it’s just like, “Well, who cares!? But OK.”.
Another hater: Yeah, like if there’s reincarnation, it’s like, “I want my dad. He’s so hot!”
He was the ruler of Egypt!
And you could say, that I don’t have anything nearly as that- nearly as impressive as THAT.
But… we were in the same world at the same time…and we were both human and that’s just how things are in this world. Some people are a big deal. Some people aren’t.
*”Like you!” she says to Lacey, in her head.*
And if I was deep, I would realize that…I’m gunna have to answer to a hell of a lot of people from history.
There are literally billions of people who have had a worse life than me. Who could look at me with the same vindictive hatred that I’ve seen you in with. Or worse.
And… just be like… “I hate you!” to every single thing that I say.
And…how am I supposed to relate to those people? HUH? You tell me. They’re a lot more like you, in a way. You’d be surprised.
And…I am a humanitarian. Enough to realize like you…that yeah, they’re probably, at least some of them, or maybe…- As smart as me.
I don’t know.
Maybe smarter.
Maybe…smarter.
And they’re better than me. And… some of them…are way…yes…WAY…-
And it’s like, “That isn’t even the point.”
Because yeah, I actually am kind of spiritual, myself. And it’s like, “No! Why are we even like, thinking of that? Such weirdness.” And then you’re supposed to just be like, “Yeah. That’s stupid!” And then be like, “Hey! But.. wait a minute. No, we really did have a different experience. …We do have a different experience. And yeah…huh…I guess that’s why I can’t relate to you.”.
*she shrugs*
Lacey: Yes, yes, but I was very stressed out, and I thought that people would just catch that…because I was so stressed out that I didn’t think it through deeply enough. Does that make sense?
Another hater: So, I have a feeling that you’re using that?
*she seems confused*
You’re stressed-out?
And you’re writing?
Weird.
And…and letting it be just this raw…rugged awful mess. Because, you know how beautiful things can be. Gee, kind of like Zelda?
*she shrugs*
Lacey: I don’t know if she was thinking that or not.
But that was how I read what she wrote because I think like that…that’s true.
And I thought, “Maybe this is just her being real. This is just her being totally authentic.” Because, she tried so hard to be beautiful you know? And makeup was a new thing back then. And so, maybe she thought, “I try so hard, wearing all this makeup…and curling my hair. …I’m just going to stop being fake and really make Scott happy.” But, I don’t know if that’s actually what happened?
…I think she might’ve actually been slightly schizophrenic, for real.
I’m really not.
I don’t know if my writing is good or bad, but I do love writing. And it’s a free country! So, that’s what I’m doing. You know? But yeah…
No, my writing is pretty awful…in that way absolutely.
Another hater: It’s hard to read.
Lacey: Can you just not read it?
Another hater: *she seems stunned*
OK and then here’s where you obviously haven’t been loved, which is why you’re writing is the way that it is.
No, because it’s kind of different and it’s hard to stop reading.
It’s like hard to stop reading it.
Because it’s actually really interesting.
You’re saying something that people don’t usually say. It’s different.
And as you know, we all are craving an explanation for everything in this life, so no you’re giving an explanation for things that bother people. But, it is very hard to read.
Lacey: OK.
Well, thank you for being honest with me.
Another hater: OK but then what are you going to do?
*she laughs at Lacey*
Lacey: I have no idea, but it gives me a lot of food for thought. Cuz, I don’t want to torture people.
What does it feel like reading?
Another hater: You know, I have a hard time reading certain things? If I’m being honest. Because, they go on and on and on. And you have NO CLUE about any of it. And it’s…so boring. And so…sexless.
But you get used to it.
*she shrugs*
And you develop a taste for what they do. The They’s. Like you.
I read what you write…looking for the point that they’re trying to make, overall. And I fill in the blanks you refuse to address, as…a Christian.
That’s how I read it.
Because, I can’t read every single word the way that you do. In your head.
And that’s not my job.
And…and think of the etymology of the word and think of the hermeneutics of the word and then reframe the sentence in my head for every single sentence? So manly. *she giggles*. BE A DICK!
Love it.
And then think about the overall attitude of the author? And his psychology or her psychology? And then criticize all of the authors of that time! Like you? Yeah, OK that’s what-that’s what you’re doing. I’m sensing that.
OK, and this probably goes on and on and on. I’m not sure why. But I’m going with it.
With…it.
And that’s why I believe you. You’re probably that way, you’re probably actually a super genius.
That being said- THAT BEING SAID… I can’t do that.
I’m smart, but no, I have to have it be more like-
I have to have it make sense.
It’s like what is this person trying to get out of me? And like, why are they talking to me about this? What are we talking about? Like, we’re in a conversation you know? And they’re telling me something.
It’s like they’re telling me something about themselves, about their time and I-
I don’t think you think that way when you write. I think you just think about the art itself. Like Anna. Yeah?
It’s just basic level stuff.
Like, how does this make me feel? It’s the words in and of themselves that bother you? Huh? With your disability? Non? Like…every freaking word? It bothers you?
Lacey: Yeah, words have always bothered me. I prefer music.
But music isn’t clear. You can’t say something with music, in the same way that you can with your words.
So with what I’m trying to say, and my desire to be clear, I have to use words.
Another hater: Yeah.
Lacey: But yes, words have painful wars attached to every single curve, every single line.
Yeah. There’s blood on every single letter.
Yeah. *she says, heartfelt and very sincere*
Another hater: Yeah! Of every language!
Lacey: Yes, and yet we have to use those words! As pitiful as we are.
And, I always have that in mind when I’m writing. It’s like, “Oh, I don’t wanna torture these people with these words…with these letters…that are just ick.”.
Another hater: *seems to be getting angry*
No, you’re absolutely right. But, I don’t wonder how many other people think like that and just try to make it seem as tasteful as possible. I don’t.
Lacey: Yeah, okay.
And…even if they’re not as smart as this maybe.
I’m not sure, if it’s smart or not, but if it is…it’s because I don’t talk like this with most people, but if it is…then, yeah, I think some people probably subconsciously figure this out.
And they just make it seem pretty. And, I wish I had that ability…but I don’t. Because, I just can’t anymore.
I can’t be that fake.
And they might not be being fake, but for me, it would be entirely fake at this point.
A hater: OK so you’re a genius who is suicidal, not a schizophrenic. COOL.
*she laughs and rolls her eyes, and says, “EEW!!! SO GROSS! She’s SOOO GROSS!”*
Lacey: That is- That is what the actual psychiatrist told me, yes.
A hater: Yep. OK, so I think I’m just very American, Lacey. And I don’t know how to relate to you.
*she rolls her eyes*
Lacey: You know? And if I knew there was reincarnation I would just laugh it off, but I just can’t theologically grasp that yet. So if there is reincarnation, yeah, you’re just a very American person. And, I’m sorry that I don’t know how to talk to you in a way that would make you happy.
Another hater: Well… I hope that you have no life…because you’ve clearly been trying to be helpful to us. NOT YOUR KIDS.
And that… is my last…final dig.
*she pretends to drop a mic*
Lacey: No, I’m fine. Thank you.
I’ve taken care of my family just fine.
My house is clean enough.
My kids are well fed, and they’re dressed and clean and doing well.
And I’m- I’m fine…-
But, thank you so much for being a weird narcissist.
Are you a diagnosed narcissist?
Another hater: No, I’m not actually, but I’m obsessed with hating you. I just wanna hate you. I just wanna hit you.
Lacey: OK, you know when you figure out what’s actually bothering you. I hope that I will find out what it is. Because, I can’t help. OK?
I don’t know what is that’s bothering you. I don’t know you. *she says, harsh, cold and yet righteously*
Another hater: I wonder if I’m a little schizophrenic.
Lacey: OK!
Well, maybe you are, and maybe you have a very weird relationship with me that isn’t real. But, I’m not talking to you. OK?
I don’t think so, anyway…
You be well. And if- if it’s not clear that I’ve said something to you…on this blog…in a normal way…- Like…if it doesn’t speak to you in a normal way…then it’s not about you.
Like, if your name is not Casi…or if you don’t know something about writing…or if you didn’t wanna marry Joe… then I’m not channeling you at all. And maybe this isn’t about you, at all.
Maybe, it’s just that I’m writing about somebody else…who is this person.
Cuz… there were a lot of people following me…who might’ve hated me…so maybe one of them wanted to marry Joe…and this is about them.
Another hater: I love slicing up your words and trying to find where you’re evil and where you’re BENEATH ME!!! *she screams*
Lacey: Are you sure you’re not a diagnosed narcissist?
Another hater: Yes.
I know I seem very narcissistic right now but no, I don’t.
I’m a really nice person.
So…there’s no way that I would possibly. Right?
*she laughs*
And…even though I’m totally jealous of you and I hate you….I’m not narcissistic, OK. So, even though I’m extraordinarily jealous of you and I wanted to destroy you…because I’m jealous of you…that does not make me a narcissist.
God: No, but you could be being narcissistic like a narcissist to her.
Another hater: But then, I’m not better than narcissistic people!!!
One of my favorite things to do is hate narcissistic people. It really irritates me if I’m one of them.
I never thought that I would ever have to think of myself that way, cause I’m a really good person.

Putin: Since… the safety United States, in my own eyes, is in peril… I’m going to have to call this blog quits.
Until she edits it…and gets at least a week off. Because that was an egregious attack on her.
She did very well, but it was disgusting.
That woman is a narcissist in relation to her and nothing more. That was vampiric, at best.
*later, after she edits this*
Lacey: I had no idea what was going on.
I genuinely thought…that we were having a very troubling…but fruitful conversation.
How did she miss…that I was talking about Joe. She just totally missed that?!?
God: Lacey, she’s in her 50s and she’s never been married. She’s had several long-term relationships with men. But she’s bisexual and she doesn’t understand sex, but she thinks that she does because she’s been “putting out” since high school. She’s one of those Millennials who thought that condoms made her cool.
Lacey: Yeah! The use of condoms! REVOLUTIONARY. Sex sex sex! *she says in a fake manly, mocking voice*
The woman above, from the second conversation: I don’t understand.
I mean, I have hot, promiscuous sex.
How is that not obviously more experienced than her? OK!?
I have sex with multiple partners…whenever I want.
An American man: You, sound incredibly proud of yourself for that.
That woman: Well yeah, I mean, aren’t you like hello? I’m not some Christian conservative who doesn’t understand how to fuck.
An American man: I think she was talking about someone’s dick. Did you catch that?
That woman: *looks nervous*
But Lacey and I are bisexual, and I kind of think maybe she’s just like a they. Because, I don’t understand how her words aren’t masculine. 
An American gay man: No.
You’re totally clueless! You’re totally lost!
I beg you to try to listen to me.
That woman: *thinks*
An American gay man: She was talking about a man’s dick.
I want you to think hard about what I’m saying.
Did you listen to what she was saying? Or were you just somewhere else in your head?
That woman: Someone told me years ago that I do that with her, but then I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me to just go with it and listen to my heart and a lot of Muslims in the perfume community told me to do the same thing and I thought, “You know, I’m gonna worship God, and I’m gonna listen to them.” Because, they care about me…and they care about equality.
They seemed like communists.
And I thought, “Well hey! These men care about my rights and social equality.”
*she shrugs*
A gay American man: OK so if you weren’t just full speed ahead thinking that she’s in love with you and that she’s masculine. What would you be thinking?
That woman: I wasn’t listening enough.
I mean, I was listening, kind of to try to figure out what she was thinking to respond and bullshit her but that’s it.
It’s like OK the woman’s thinking that I’m dumb. And I follow what she saying but then I tell myself that it’s just stupid because she’s not to be taken seriously. It’s like everything she says it’s just erotic.
I don’t think there’s anything she says that’s ever true. Like every, like every, like every…SINGLE…word. And, I think everything she says is totally fake. And…it’s just all stupid.
Like, every single fucking word is stupid.
And fake.
Like every single one of them.
The CIA: That’s not psychologically possible.
You can be that fake, but the way that you’re saying it, as a concept, isn’t possible.
That woman: But then why do people say, “Every single word that comes out of his mouth is a lie.”? I mean, why would people say that?
The CIA: Because, they mean that, but not in the literal way that you’re taking it. So they’re saying that everything he’s saying. as an overall concept is a lie, but not like every single word. So there could be things he’s saying here and there that are actually true and there would have to be, because you actually can’t constantly lie and sound convincing. You can act and put on a persona, but it becomes almost impossible to lie the way that you’re inventing.
Do you understand what I’m saying?
*later*
That woman: OK I don’t have a clue what she was talking about.
Elliott: Have you ever looked at a man naked, like actually looked at his body?
That woman: I’ve seen them naked many times.
Have I actually sat and just stared at them? No, I don’t do that!
Because, I’m not that kind of person.
I don’t just sit and stare at men and like analyze their dick or think about their balls or look at their body, in that way. I just don’t do that. It’s like no, I’m not gonna sexualize them in that way. I don’t- I don’t like when men do that to me, as a woman. So, I’m not gonna turn around and do that to them. I don’t think that’s right and I just I don’t do that.
Lacey: OK I do that like it’s nothing. I’m not being evil, honey. I’m being straight.
I’m a married woman!!! I have sucked my husband‘s balls. Many times. I sleep next to them, every night.
Are you a fucking idiot?
I mean, oh my word! How dumb are you!?
I have sat around analyzing penises to try to figure out what would feel best. I have sat around, thinking about if he hadn’t had a Bris would that be better in bed?
I mean you’re so sexually active, but you don’t think about any of this stuff!? Do you have sex with men or do you just lay there and go, “Oh my! In and out in and out! And we’re done!”
I am so confused. You don’t sit around, thinking about every part of their body?
Jim: I should say something.
When she was a teenager, I was terrified she was gonna be lesbian. Because I’m not-
And I didn’t think that was really gonna be an issue for her because she’s so feminine. But I was a little worried and so I told her she should take more of an interest in men.
Like really get interested in them. And I’m her father and so- I’m not necessarily her birth father, but I’m the father who raised her so I was trying- I was trying-
I just thought that she should just take more of an interest.
Lacey: you know I think that did actually affect me and I think I thought I’ve really got to study these people. But, I was already completely straight. So I didn’t really need you to say that, but it probably made me even more sort of studious about it.
That woman: So, so you just actually have analyzed like all men?
Lacey: I am not analyzing them, sweetie.
That- That’s not it, sweetie.
I’m not analyzing them like you do. You seem like you’re mostly lesbian.
No, I’m not analyzing them.
That woman:  So you’re just sitting around staring at their cock?
Lacey: I’m sitting around with a dick out masturbating!? I mean, what are you imagining?
That woman: OK, yeah that doesn’t make sense.
OK, I don’t do that.
I don’t just sit and stare at their dick.
Lacey: You don’t sit and stare at their dick unless if you’re married to them and you’re in private. But in private, you might. Or it’s possible that you might just analyze their penis in your head and you actually might look at other men’s penises depending on why and when and who you are and think, “That is different than my husband!” Or, “Huh, that’s just different!” because they all are different. 
Elliott: The women in my generation did stuff like that. I took pictures of my dick frequently and they were very popular.
Dick pics would have gone over very well about 80 years ago. They’re lost on you?
That woman: I just don’t understand why that’s considered appropriate.
Lacey: And yet you’re having tons of hot promiscuous sex?
That woman: I think what I think is hot, to you would probably be awful like god-awful.
God: She’s not even capable of it. It’s that bad compared to what she’s used to.
That woman: And then I thought this woman was a they.
A they: Yeah! *rolls their eyes*
That woman: I’ve never really talked to her outside of trying to insult her.
Casi: No, no, but that doesn’t matter cause we really talk to her. It’s extremely important for you to understand that, OK? Like, that’s what’s happening.
That woman: She is trying to sound holy and good, dammit.
I need to stop trying to sound like Lacey to seem like I’m smarter than her. I don’t actually understand what she’s saying, and I’m scared by that, because I’m realizing that there are a lot of people who have important jobs in the perfume industry who have no idea what she’s even saying, like no idea at all.
And we’ve all been listening to lots of different people who hate her, who claimed to have this inside information about her, when in reality, I don’t think we have a clue what she’s even saying half the time. I think we’ve turned everything she says into something different, because we keep hearing it in a voice in our head that’s totally different than how she’s actually saying it.
And I don’t think that’s funny anymore, because I’m realizing that there’s something very weird about it, but it’s not because she’s crazy. I think she assumes too much from her reader. I think she assumes that they’re going to understand way too much.
But, I don’t think it’s because she’s dumb or uneducated. I think she was misguided by somebody somewhere who was really trying to screw her over, and I’m not sure who that was but it’s interesting.
I kind of wonder if it was her father who raised her. Because he came from a family, a very gifted people, and I can’t help but wonder if he knew what he was doing more than he realized, and he was just being mean.
So, I’m sure asking her to do simple things that we think are normal, are surprising to her because she thinks, “Why would you need to do that in a sentence? Why would you need to add that!?” No they don’t. No they don’t, jnow. You would be surprised Lacey by how stupid people actually really are and-
I’m scared, because I’m realizing that you’re completely straight and I was totally moronic in how I spoke to you and that you don’t realize that people are talking to other people because we’ve told you that we don’t. And unfortunately, for some reason, you never realized that we actually do.
We’ve left you out your whole life intentionally everywhere. In your family, Facebook, Instagram. Even though we followed you, we purposely left you out of every conversation we could think to leave you out of. Some people did try talking to you, yeah, but it was always to try to be mean in some way. And, I’m starting to wonder if we’re deranged, because it doesn’t even make any sense.
Like, how the fuck are you supposed to know what’s going on behind closed doors, so that we can actually make fun of you? Like if you don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors then the jokes that we’re making which are dependent on you being obsessed with us, don’t make any sense.
And then we’re all obsessively leaving you out so that you feel like you’re being excluded, because we assume that you give a shit about us. And I think you do care, but probably not as much as we had assumed because we assumed that you were like totally profoundly obsessed with us like oh my God you were worshiping us and we were totally weirded out by you.
Like, I think we assumed that you were worshiping us and that like that that you were just like worshiping us. Like… we were God or something. And it was totally weird.
And then it’s like, oh my God this woman is like gay in love with me and she’s obsessed with the Kennedys and wants to be a Kennedy so badly. And maybe she can be but they’ll never think anything of her. I’ve had- I’ve had thoughts like that.
And it’s like this woman’s gay, but she’s gonna marry a Kennedy? In Heaven? …And I’ve actually had thoughts like that…
Yes, and it’s like kind of weird…cause it’s like- And I keep thinking “the woman’s British”! But that’s not in the Bible so there’s no way she could really be British.
And then was like, “Oh my God, what if we’re all gonna die?”
And then I think, “What if Putin’s really secretly rich? And there’s like this elite group of people who are hot and sexy and they all just fuck each other like in “Eyes Wide Shut” and they’re all adult-adults and it’s like really hot?
And then I’m like there’s no way because they’re all pedophiles who eat babies and they’re lizards. And now I’m thinking, hold on this is weird. Maybe not.
What if there are hot elite people…and that’s like you and Elliottbut that’s not any of us. Or you and Lem. Or like Vladimir Putin and some hot gymnast or Vladimir Putin and some hot gymnast who isn’t his wife or some beautiful Russian tennis player. I mean for all we know he had a relationship with Maria Sharapova
And they just kept it very quiet.
She was gorgeous. I wonder if they did have a fling and he just kept it very quiet.
I’m not that good-looking. I have a big vagina and small hips and I’m not that feminine. No like I have a big vagina like it’s wide, and that was part of the reason why men were excited to started giving women anal sex…because I don’t think our vaginas are as small as women in the past and our hips aren’t as wide.
So, I’m just thinking: maybe you guys have big dicks and small vaginas and things get really wet and wild.
Because you’re grown adults and you’re actually physically ready for sex. And then the children were just someone’s attempt to compensate. Maybe some actual pedophiles may have been involved, but I wonder if some of it was people who really were just looking for a way to feel special.
And then I think, “Holy shit. I’m in a society where women think that they’re hot, when they’re not at all and there are people who are desperate to seem better than other people so they’re actually molesting children.” I appreciate knowing what’s going on, but what I resent is the fact that my head has been played with and I’m sure it’s not by you.
That doesn’t make any sense. It’s not you. I have a feeling people have been playing with my head who are desperate for me not to realize that some of the things that I’m thinking are kind of strange.
Like why would a big guy with broad shoulders, in the way that Lem has them? wanna marry a man? There is something about his physical build that does not look heterosexual to Bobby, but that does to everybody else. And I think Jack knew, but lied to himself.
I know this time when you edit this you’re gonna find out that I’m actually telling the truth, almost completely. I’m just floored
Bobby, you’re not gay. You’re bisexual like me and you have to grow-up and realize that before you’re dead. You’ve wasted your life trying to be straight. and you’re kind of insane…because I don’t think you’re processing anything in any real way anymore. I think you’re just kind of on auto pilot.
I get the sense of what you say on this blog, and it seems is pretty accurate. I think it speaks to who you are. But I don’t think that it’s normal, and I think that your intense psychological problems are partially due to you not really thinking about things anymore. It’s like you just desperately want to cling to some idea of yourself and reality and you don’t even care anymore. I don’t care how crazy you sound. You don’t care how weird what you’re doing is, you’re just out to lunch. You’re just totally out of touch with reality.
Bobby: I think that’s true but that’s the problem. I don’t wanna even think about what you’re saying.
That woman: Why?
Bobby: Because if I think about it, I’m gonna realize things that I don’t wanna realize about myself.
OK, I am short.
My father was short.
I’ve worked out recently, but I’m not really a very big masculine person. And yeah I have had a crush on Lem, since I was oh, 10 maybe 11. And I didn’t really take it seriously because I just assumed that it was the other way around. I just assumed that it was the other way around and I thought that he was interested in me because that’s what everyone was saying. And that’s how he would act. I mean he was probably annoyed by me. I look at those pictures now that I’m being forced to, and I’m realizing that he does look like he’s just ready to rip me apart to shreds.
Like he, he literally looks physically annoyed by me in like every picture. But I am narcissistic and I didn’t notice. I just thought he was in love with me, based on what people were saying and based on the part of him that was trying to sort of humor me. And the problem is, my dad used to humor my mom, and so I didn’t know the difference at that age and I’ve never wanted to look back and reflect on it because I just haven’t wanted to realize that he didn’t love me at all.
No, he did not love me in any way other than as his friend’s kid. And actually that’s bullshit too, to some degree because why would you humor a friend’s kid like that and treat them like they’re an idiot? He must have thought my family was really annoying and have been tolerating us at some point.
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