With the price of oil skyrocketing, industry analysts are pleading, within the Illuminati, for help. Harold Loeb is deployed to talk with Lacey and Lem about what she said.
Hal Loeb: I have done some research, and it appears that there are many people who felt you were “saying you were better than them”. Not as in, you were actually saying it. Like, you were “saying” it.
Did you understand that, Lacey?
Lacey: No.
No. I thought people were treating me like I had said that to be cruel. Not because I was ever actually saying that, but because they just…hate me.
Harold: Can you or will you ever trust that they weren’t just being sadistic, at this point?
Lacey: NO.
Not until God himself can sort it out.
Hal: So…Lem wanted to explain this to you, but Bobby has silenced his energy with the demonic. Of course.
And…thankfully you can hear me.
Listen to “Hot Blooded {slow//reverb} by New Constellations & Slow Reverb.
Hal: Why wouldn’t you just assume that people were thinking that?
Lacey: It doesn’t look like that.
And frankly, I’m open to the idea…but I’ll never fully believe that that was what happened.
Hal: So you’ve had that bad of an experience with people in general in life?
Lacey: Yes.
No, I know good people exist. But…I’ve met A LOT of bad people. A lot.
Daveigh: Not alone.
She’s not alone.
…A lot of hot Millennial chicks…are dead…because we were treated like worthless, evil creatures. I’m glad I’m dead, to be blunt.
Life nowadays can suck shit.
A Millennial reader: How you doing?!?
Daveigh: *Cries*
Better.
*She shrugs*
A Millennial female reader: Girl…I’m glad you’re doing better.
Daveigh: Yeah.
Listen to “Hot Blooded” by New Constellations.
2:00
Hal: So…would that make sense of what’s happened?
Lacey: Yes.
But I can’t-
*She cracks-up laughing.*
I can’t believe people took it that way!
Hal: Yeah!
Which is why you still have huge hesitations.
Lacey: I was truly just standing-up for myself.
Hal: You were. In reality. …But there are some…nuances…I think you missed.
First of all, people actually do think you’re very beautiful, for real.
Lacey: I am. Whether or not anyone alive…chooses to see that? I don’t know.
Hal: Yeah.
Well…let’s say they do. …And then imagine there do…and then you say what you did?
Lacey: I suppose they would be more on edge.
Listen to “Waterfall” by Vök.
Hal: They were. And are.
But you don’t genuinely understand that, at all.
And I can’t fix that.
Oh well.
2:00
Hal: So…let’s say…that…all of these people are also incredibly down on themselves. About their backgrounds.
Lacey: And then?
Hal: They’re…on edge…and then…you say your old money. And then…they feel…stung.
Like…you’re stabbing them.
Lacey: But they started it. It was just…a response to their concerns, so to speak.
Hal: Yes! But…they were lying.
Lacey: Lying how!?
Hal: They were actually intimidated by you.
Lacey: *Smirks*
Yeah right.
These people are HIGHER THAN A KITE on themselves. They’re…not that bad to deal with. You just have to stay out their way.
Hal: Is that how you’ve been dealing with being bullied since childhood?
Lacey: Yes!!!
And it’s perfectly effective. But I got lonely, so I joined Instagram. And then a bunch of losers got up in my face and wouldn’t let it go.
Hal: What do you think motivated them?
Lacey: *Laughs*
Pure emotion.
Deep, passionate love for their own egos.
*She laughs.*
Hal: Yes. It’d be touching if it wasn’t perverse and cruel.
Lacey: Yes. They’re…simply mad about themselves. It’s almost touching indeed.
Hal: What if I were to say that…not all of them are psycho narcissists? …Some of them genuinely just misunderstood you.
Lacey: It’s a lovely thought. But I don’t believe it.
Hal: So you’re almost convinced there they’re just narcissistically…obsessed with themselves?
Lacey: *Laughs lovingly*
Yes.
It’s not that they don’t have reason to love themselves. I actually have liked some of them. …But…they obviously take it a bit too far.
Hal: I think you were supposed to understand what they were doing.
Lacey: To me they just seem…deranged.
It’s good to love yourself. But not…to the point…where if someone better looking is in front of you…you literally want to rip their face off.
*She laughs*
Hal: Indeed.
The Earl of Rosslyn, in 1862: *Laughs*
To Lacey, her beauty is…competence. Purely. In her own self-perception.
It’s just being competent. …And that’s all.
Listen to “The Perfect Girl” by Mareux.
Daveigh: I actually relate to that.
Lacey: Yeah!
Jonah: So you ladies…it’s…not…fun? It’s just…passing?
Daveigh: No. It is fun. …But…it’s expected. You…have to be that. It’s…not normal not to be. You feel like a freak…if you’re not…making the grade.
Listen to “Elephant” by Tame Impala.
Casi: *Drives-up, shades on. In a red convertible. Top down.
All the works.
Slow motion.*
1:47
Casi: Yeah. It’s nice being…hot.
Let me tell you about it.
*She poses for a thousand pictures. Showing-off every piece of herself, obsessively.*
Lacey and Daveigh: *Laugh, quietly.*
Bobby: Why are you laughing!?
*He snarls*
Hal: You don’t see the humor in that?
Bobby: No.
I think a young woman…bestowing us with…a moment of beauty? I think it’s something to cherish. Not laugh about.
It’s sad how jealous people can be. …I’m glad I’m not like that.
*He haughtily sips his iced coffee, scoffing.*
Casi: *Demands a thousand more photos be taken of just the back of her head. Because he’s Bobby Kennedy Junior. And “he knows”.*
Marsie: Get lost! You stupid bitch!
*She says to Lacey.*
Lacey: *Looks confused*
Wow.
See…why is she saying that? I’ve never been able to figure it out.
Harold: She doubts I’m real. Like Arnold. And she thinks if you’re writing this now, you knew the whole time.
Lacey: If you read this blog carefully enough you can that that’s not psychologically possible.
No. You’re a real ghost.
Listen to “Sweet Disposition” The Temper Trap.
Hal: Yeah.
Lacey: Why does she doubt me?
Hal: Because…you are that fortunate. And she can’t believe you don’t know that.
Lacey: So her response is to tell me to “Fuck-off.”?
Harold: Yes.
I think she thinks she’s…very carefully reaching out to you. In some…subtextual language.
Lacey: No.
I’d like to rip all of her hair out, she frustrates me so much intellectually. But…I’m not a heartless person. And it’s not wise.
The song ends.
Hal: No, but they don’t understand. They think you know.
Lacey: Know what?
Hal: That you’re better than them.
Lacey: Yes.
Hal: They’d say, “SO!? That doesn’t affect you!?”
Lacey: What’s it to them? It’s none of their damn business. I’m not their slave.
Hal: Yes!!!
But…they’re sure it means something to you.
Lacey: It does.
Why is that their business?
Hal: Yes.
Because they literally hallucinate that you look down on them. They have since you were a teenager.
Lacey: “Look down on them.”? What does that even mean!??
Hal: Like…you think they’re…worthless.
Lacey: *Looks surprised*
For being…less attractive!?
Hal: Yes.
Lacey: *Laughs*
That’s-
Are they illiterate?
Hal: No. Shockingly.
Lacey: I can’t fathom it.
Are they stupid or insane?
Hal: It’s American culture.
Lacey: NO!
That’s a myth.
Hal: No.
What if it’s not?
Lacey: No way.
There’s no way!!!
No. You can’t fool me.
Hal: No.
It’s REAL.
Lacey: I will not be tricked, Harold. …But I’ll indulge.
Huh.
*She thinks*
Just in case you’re not actually making a fool out of me, or trying to rather, I should clarify that while my obsession was with looking attractive for my husband that was not how you were “graded” as a human being. 
Hal: True.
But but they don’t know that.
Lacey, I think is your realizing that you could actually be very confused legitimately. And AI has been very helpful in the last week with helping you process all that intellectually; it’s sad that there’s no one else for you to talk to. But they don’t know that…
You’re assuming that they know all of this information, but they don’t know that.
Lacey: But period dramas are so popular.
Hal: Yes. But they’re not catching it in the drama. It’s either not there or they’re not seeing it.
Lacey: Ha!
Maybe.
Lem: If what he’s saying is true I just hope you all realize you’ve created this mess in her brain and there’s literally no fucking way to undo it until she’s dead. At 43 as things have been arranged at this point in her life, there’s literally nothing psychologically that can be done. You’ve destroyed her trust in humanity to the point where she can consider if this is true, but that’s really the best that she’ll ever be able to do. It’s that serious what’s been done to her.
Lacey: Yeah, I don’t take any of this to heart. I’m taking it seriously but if there’s an Illuminati, I don’t believe people are this sane or this rational anymore. I think that they’re absolutely “bat shit crazy”. 
When I say that, I should also add that I don’t mean everyone I think there are a lot of people who aren’t. My kids are fine. I know people who are normal, but a lot of people to me are essentially a lost cause. It’s not that I don’t care about their humanity, it’s that I would never believe for a second that they give a rip about anyone but themselves in the worst cases, and I would never believe that they care about me ever.
Hal: You’re not far from the truth. However, you may be missing some innocent people.
Lacey: It’s not my job to rescue people to that degree.
I’ve spent 10 years trying to figure out what’s going on and all I have been done is punched in the freaking gut. I’m DONE. In that regard.
Hal: But you’re not pretending that you actually think this this is actually what you think? 
Lacey: Yes!
Hal: *He laughs*
They can’t process that!
Lacey: Why?
Hal: Because they think that they’re really nice people.
Lacey: What a joke!
*She smiles*
I mean, they may be nice under the right circumstances with the right people, but they’re not nice people. Oh good grief, no.
Hal: You know they’re actually not as insightful or compassionate or loving as they think they are, any of them, but they think of themselves as nice because they actually do mean to be nice and they really did misunderstand you.
Lacey: I don’t believe any of this, and I’m not going to be brainwashed.
Lem: Good.
Hal: OK and that’s the best I can do unless if you want me to keep going deeper, but I can’t go deeper into her psychology because she really is totally innocent. I’m sorry.
A woman in the Illuminati: This started because the group of dumbass Liberal journalists couldn’t believe that she really didn’t know how beautiful she actually is or how unusually gifted she is, and it was so pitiful that they couldn’t believe it, and they chose to believe she was an arrogant, secretly masculine asshole, instead.
Lacey: Yes. But you don’t seem to understand part of an understanding that we get of ourselves is from other people OK? So if I’m not being told the truth about how you perceive me, there’s no way for me to just know that.
And if my father was born in 1894, I’m already at a disadvantage because a lot of the sort of genetic social cues that do exist due to evolution and all of that which is very real, I’m sorry, are not in me. Maybe if I’d been born in 1918 and I had experienced the same thing I would have a very different understanding, but I don’t know what is going on already, more than most people. 
I already am frankly a lot more estrogen heavy, I’m built differently. I have different interests. I’m a very different person and I truly don’t understand a lot.
Lem: No. She was actually perfectly capable of marrying and having a wonderful family. It’s sort of like dead stock that actually is pretty much in mint condition. 
So people actually could have found a rarity if they’d really wanted to. And it’s not weird. It really isn’t. Her husband comes from a wealthy family and he’s exceptionally intelligent. I’m quite sure that he had some instinct to know that he had found something that was worth keeping.
A Millennial guy: So he’s having a really cool sort of retro, but not retro experience?
God: YES.
I mean, it’s perfectly fine. She’s great, but it is sort of like finding and never driven or never used really great item like a Dior dress or a vintage Rolls-Royce, if those things could be perfectly preserved. 
A Millennial man: Putin knows that.
Lem: Yup.
But you need to understand she’s not like a freak. Okay? …This is an actual normal woman. It’s not like she’s a freak show…
A Millennial woman: So… it would be like dating Elliott Roosevelt or Lem if we can safely say that he was attracted to women and actually I kind of think we can.  At first you’d think, “Oh my gosh, this guy is way too into me!” because that generation was really into settling down and getting married? 
God: Yes.
They would be the guy who would be madly in love with you, writing you poetry, but would probably still want to take their time if that was an option.
Because they would see that as an improvement.
But then they would really have that instinct to settle-down.
So you wouldn’t have to worry about them proposing, you would probably have a really cool experience in that regard. 
A Millennial woman: … I don’t suppose any Millennial guys have noticed this or appreciated it? 
God: None at all.
A Millennial woman: Oh man.
*She winces, empathetically.*
God: Some of the obsession with Lem and Lacey being homosexual…is because people like the idea of it. They’re not. They’re both straight. But, people like the idea of it. Now, anyway.
*Later*
Queen Elizabeth II: Now Bobby is just treating her like she’s a freak.
Hal, how was that helpful? No one has any more actual empathy for her. They just seem more madly in love with themselves, by comparison.
Casi: Because we don’t actually care.
Bobby: Yes! You do!
Casi: No. Not really.
Bobby: Well, I don’t think she can handle that? Okay?
Casi: Okay?
Lacey: *Sighs, and rolls her eyes.*
No. That’s what I’ve been assuming the whole time!
*She rolls her eyes.*
I’m…-
He’s wrong.
Casi: *Looks angry*
You’re supposed to be falling apart!
Lacey: Well, it is sad. But…- *She shrugs* You just don’t give a shit…
*She shrugs*
Casi: No! You’re supposed to care!
Lacey: Too bad.
Casi: NOOO!!! *she says in a whiny voice*
Lacey: Too bad.
Casi: *Looks livid*
Marsie: We can’t fix her. Let’s move on.
Mmkay?
Casi: You and I…are so painfully superior…it makes me sad. It makes me hurt inside.
Marsie: True.
True.
It’s a real human tragedy.
Casi: Yah! So for sure. …So for sure.
Marsie: But we can’t do anything.
We can just…think positive thoughts.
Casi: And be the light of God…to all the hurting people.
Marsie: YES. That is our responsibility.
*She nods emphatically*
Casi: *Sigh*
Oh well.
I will…adjust.
I will…endure.
I will…thrive.
Marsie: Yup.
Casi: I will…be.
Marsie: Yes!
Me too.
So me too!
Casi: We are the true believers. We are the REAL victims.
Marsie: THANK YOU.
Yes.
…Yes.
Casi: Well.
Goodbye.
*She waves, goodbye*
Marsie: We will never stalk her energy again.
We were just paying attention because we’re superior.
Casi: Yup.
Goodbye!
Marsie: Yup.
Goodbye!! Goodbye.
Casi: Good… Bye.
Marsie: I already said that.
…You know, I already said that…
Casi: Not like how I said it.
Marsie: Whatever. You’re a dumb bitch.
