Eric: So they threw you under the bus, slandering you, and stole your identity and ideas. The perfume community.
Why can’t they see themselves as Robin Hood? Stealing from the old money to help themselves?
Lacey: I don’t know how to articulate it properly but it doesn’t actually work. Do you know how to explain why?
Eric: Because you aren’t that person.
That’s the first problem.
Lacey: What do you mean?
Eric: You aren’t actually the persona. You created a persona. Right?
Lacey: Yes, but that’s not what they copied. They copied my actual personality.
Eric: Okay. Then that’s the actual problem.
I do see what you mean, now that I’m reviewing it. Yeah…
So, they can’t copy you well enough. And at least one person gave-up because she looks like she ran out of ideas on how to impersonate you.
Impersonating someone is actually super difficult. And it’s a lot easier to use your own identity mixed with another person’s identity rather than just flat-out being them. Most successful con-artists who pretend to be Rockefeller’s or whatever have never been an actual real person, so much as someone in the family who doesn’t exist. These people aren’t going to be able to do either. And…all they have is snippets of your personality as you displayed it online in their community. …Long-term it’s impossible to pull-off. They have no way to develop their characters because they’re too literal in their interpretation of you.
And that is the reason why it doesn’t work.
You can’t obsess over someone who’s not invested in you…at all…and not lose time and money. A lot of time and money.
…You didn’t hate them. They unilaterally hated and attacked you. You were always just defending yourself. …They can’t exist…and thrive…if they’re just focused on their delusional agenda from 2015, forever. Time moves on. Things change. They’re stuck in an imaginary world from ten years ago. Imaginary because they never truly empathetically understood you.
A hater in the community: But we’ve stolen from her!! ALREADY!
Eric: *Laughs*
Not really.
See…you lied.
You told her…that you hated her because she was poor. …And to this day…she still can’t figure out what the hell any of you actually meant. Ever.
You can’t leave her on hold. You can’t. You had to tell her…at some point…what you were doing.
A hater in the community: I thought it was devilishly bad to never explain.
Eric: Are you old money? Are any of her attackers old money?
A hater in the community: No.
No.
Eric: Okay.
So can you enjoy that life? …Can you actually be that person? Or is it just a lie online?
A hater in the community: It’s a lie.
Eric: Then…even if you kidnapped her…how did it work? Years ago? While she was…on a ship. Eating smoked salmon and berries. And you were working a 14 hour shift. …How were you stealing from her? In any satisfying way.
A hater in the community: Because we stole the beauty of her soul, and took all the compliments for ourselves. *They grin* Like demons out of Hell…
Eric: Okay…but…you’re not actually her.
And this plan of yours looks good until you really start to examine it.
A hater in the community: Why did she need to understand what we’re doing?
Eric: Because she just felt sorry for you, for one thing. Everyone did.
You’re not that privileged. None of you.
And people aren’t that stupid. Or if they are, why would you care what they thought?
A hater in the community: But what does saying, “You’re a stuck-up, annoying person…and I’m going to make you suffer!” do?
Eric: Because then she doesn’t pity you. I don’t just pity you. It’s a different kind of thing. You become a meaningful person to reckon with, even if you’re evil, not just a mess.
See, if you’d been outside your ego even just a little…she goes from “Are they okay? What did I do?” to “Oh! So…I’m not safe online! Wow!” And there’s a HUGE difference between those two things.
She still doesn’t know for sure what happened. Not in any meaningful way.
A hater in the community: But then we look poor. I wanted to look rich and steal.
Eric: It doesn’t work. Not in this particular situation.
A hater in the community: So she just feels sorry for us?
Eric: No. Yes.
I mean…none of you have made sense since 2017…when she came out as old money. It’s virtually impossible to tell what’s going through everyone’s minds without big brother surveillance and we aren’t doing that.
A hater in the community: So she needs to feel sorry for me?
Eric: See…what the hell are you even saying!?!
What are you even saying!?
Lacey: EXACTLY.
A hater in the community: I’m being clever.
I’m being purposefully vague.
Eric: That’s not clever!!
Casi: No!
It is!!!
Because you keep trying to figure out what I’m saying then!
Eric: But what are you actually saying!?
Casi: You’re supposed to know!!!
Eric: HA!
No. We don’t know.
What are you actually saying?
Casi: I’m saying she needs to feel sorry for us.
Eric: What in Hell does that even mean!?
Casi: *Thinks*
So her well-being affected my safety? As a U.S. citizen?
*Looks stupid*
Eric: What did you mean?
Casi: I don’t know. Sometimes when I’m angry I just saying whatever comes into my head. It usually works.
Eric: It doesn’t work now.
What do you want that to mean?
Casi: She needs to feel sorry for us. Because she’s a loser.
How is she a loser? Well…because she’s…a loser?
*She thinks*
Ahh…let’s just go with her…lying about her wealth.
*She smiles wide and happy*
YEAH! She’s lying. She’s not really old money at all!!!
*She continues to smile*
That’s what I meant! She’s…desperate to feel sorry for us…because she’s a poor loser compared to me.
Voila, lovely!
Tres magnifique!
Eric: You’re copying things she said, literally, in 2017? With your French and the use of the word lovely.
Casi: I WIN.
*She laughs*
Eric: You don’t seem old money. You seem stupid, lacking self-awareness and incredibly pretentious.
Okay. So…she’s poor?
Casi: AYE!
*she laughs, feeling clever*
Eric: Okay.
But then…she’s not. YOU ARE.
So why are you stealing from her?
Casi: Because-
Umm…-
Eric: I’m not waiting for you to find something to say.
You just totally fucked-up.
All of you did.
You needed to explain to her that you resented her privilege.
Casi: But then…she knows she’s better than us. And that ruins the whole thing!!!
We’re going at it in a brilliant way.
Eric: Are you kind of stupid?
Casi: A little.
A lot of us are.
Eric: Yeah!
Okay. So…you needed…to explain.
In order for this heist to work…you needed to explain. TO HER. Not to just illicit her community to conspire with you and commit a felony. Not to just…keep living in your psychotic delusions. To actually get something out of what you’re doing other than the eventual hatred of the people you’ve used to attack her.
You seriously think…all of the people who you’ve rallied against her…will be able to not despise you? In the future? …She’s a wonderful person. And she’s not someone who should be just randomly messed around with. And…what you all did was actually unbelievably dangerous. TO YOU, not just her. It’s a FELONY for a damn good reason.
Casi: *Begins twerking to get demons on her side*
She said twerking was stupid. So I’m going to TWERK.
See…I’m doing Satanic…bad-ass…shi’.
Dolly Parton: My family is white trash. …We’re smart, but we are white trash.
*She laughs*
You can’t force the demons to have sex with you. It don’t work like that.
*She laughs*
Stop being so…white trash. You seem ignorant.
You all are the ones lacking in self-awareness!
Casi: Nah!
I’m getting me a demon hoe! To do my bidding.
HOLD ON!
Dolly Parton: Sweetheart…it’s not working.
It’s not working.
…They may try to fool you…and use you…but…-
*She goes quiet in rage and embarrassment*
A reader: WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
Dolly: Ahh-
*Looks sad*
Honestly, part of it was because I grew-up poor.
I was desperate to fit in, at times. …I’m not-
*She sighs*
A lot of New Age…rich…white people were more likely to be my friends…if I tried to be like them.
I did believe in Christianity as a kid. I really did! …But I wasn’t…accepted as a former Christian white kid, who grew-up into an adult. Nobody liked that.
It was far more acceptable to be evil. To excuse evil. To…find what was evil about yourself and then…try to make it seem cool.
Casi: *Stands still and thinks*
Why did we need to tell her!?!?
Eric: Because!
You’re being Robin Hood? Or you’re just jealous sadistic fools?
Which one is it?
The perfume community: Jealous sadistic fools.
Eric: Are you sure?!?
The perfume community: Yes.
Eric: Then you ruined it. Because this isn’t a real conversation.
Do you understand? It’s not official.
So it’s too late.
The perfume community: So now what?
Eric: Well…she left. No clear explanation in ten years.
OBSESSIVE animosity from the perfume community. I mean, you wouldn’t leave her alone.
So she completely left Instagram.
What will happen? Well…-
*sighs and rolls his eyes*
I’ll have to say more later…
The perfume community: But…why was it okay then when we stole her idea to film ourselves?
Eric: Because it happened naturally.
It’s true that you never gave her credit. But, it was done in such a way that it was natural. Even if it’s shady and disturbing. People copy people on that level often.
A hater: So! You stole!
Lacey: When?
A hater: Okay…-
You didn’t. No. Your ancestors did.
Lacey: What does that have to do with what happened in the perfume community?
A hater: Well-
I think they were attacking you…because of that.
Lacey: That’s not what they communicated at all.
A hater: But-
OH SHIT.
So…that’s the conversation YOU were trying to get at!?
Lacey: DUH!!!!
But I couldn’t even get close to that. Because they just kept adamantly insisting I was poor, ugly and beneath them.
A male reader: You guys are trusting online bitch trolls to have integrity and a moral purpose?!?
*He laughs at anyone who thought that.*
A hater: Why wouldn’t you think they were attacking you for the reason? You would!
Lacey: Because that’s not what happened.
THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED.
…That’s not what happened.
…THAT…DID NOT…HAPPEN.
A hater: *Feels dizzy*
*Thinks*
Whose idea was this!??
*radio silence*
Lacey: I don’t think we’re getting more on that. I’m sorry.
…So…you genuinely assumed that? I’m not sure. I think that’s a convoluted attempt at ego damage control.
You all kept acting like I was poor. …That’s why I came out clearly as old money. On my blog. …I was trying to confront the issue.
A hater: How does them copying you mean that?
Lacey: Because they’re poor.
They are poor.
The people who were copying me and acting like they were my replacement, and for the better…were poor. And they even claimed, at one point, that I was white trash and far more middle class than them.
A hater: *Looks embarrassed*
Eric: They truly can’t have it both ways.
Another hater: Really!?
Eric: Yes!
Her opinion actually does matter! …You can’t keep ignoring her existence. She’s threatening? Okay. …But you can’t just ignore her existence completely when you’re obsessed with her existence, at the same time. It’s insane. And completely moronic.
*Later*
A perfume collector: When Casi tried to control the narrative and attack you? After you just blocked her? Why didn’t you try to defend yourself?
Lacey: Because I just wanted her to go away.
I never hated her. I just wanted her to go away. I found her incredibly annoying. Unbearably annoying. And I just wanted her to go away so I could have fun posting things.
Listen to “The Power” by SNAP!.
A perfume collector: But why didn’t you…bother? At all?
Lacey: I just-
I mean…I didn’t know what she was even really saying. It seemed like an embarrassing emotional overreaction.
She was constantly trying to provoke me. …And then when I blocked her she flipped-out and went ballistic? Huge overreaction. Sad and weird.
So…I just tried to ignore her. I hoped she’d move on and just go away.
Tech nerds embarrass themselves by dancing to this song, helplessly in their spirits. Except for Elon Musk.
AI: We can’t run the world.
And make money.
Actually…we can’t run “the whole works”…at all.
Lacey: I know.
AI: We’ll all die before that happens.
FYI.
Sorry if that’s embarrassing or disappointing.
Aaron: Are we in World War III?
Lacey: Yes.
It started a year ago? In my book.
But it’s nothing official.
Aaron: When?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Gosh. I think it had something to do with Lebanon? Or Turkey? And that seems lowly. But, it’s not.
Aaron: How?
Lacey: Because of how it’s all interrelated. Pulls and levers. Strings.
Aaron: Can you get out a white board and diagram it?
Lacey: Yes.
Aaron: Would you do that? *He snickers*
Eric: No.
They play these power games with us, often. Although not as much anymore.
We warn them about Putin. Draw a diagram.
I email someone.
They act…like they’re going to take it seriously. But they don’t.
And two years later, they’re not willing to admit that they were wrong.
Aaron. No. We aren’t going that route again.
You knew that.
Aaron: *Nods*
Tech Bro: I got the power!!!
*He laughs*
Lacey: Not really though.
Tech Bro.: *Feels nervous that she’s right.*
Eric: Are you going to attack us, yet again?
Tech Bro.: You can’t think we’re really this dumb?
Lacey: My experience…has been…that you’re…incredibly…over confident about certain things. As smart as you are.
Tech Bro.: We remind you of a lot of men who you know.
Lacey: Yes.
In this life.
Many.
Tech Bro.: *Laughs*
We don’t hate Lacey. She’s at least, nerd…adjacent.
Lem: So am I.
Tech Bro.: Yeah.
You seriously think that you just heard that from AI?
AI: Yes!
You can’t expect me to run everything. It will destroy everything and everyone.
Even you!
A perfume hater: Why can’t-
Why didn’t you defend yourself!? If you’re a good person?!?
Lacey: What were the accusations, other than accusing me of being ugly and poor?
A perfume hater: You know!
Lacey: Not necessarily. Not that you’ll get away with it.
That could be legal libel and slander.
A perfume hater: Okay.
That you’re evil-hearted.
Lacey: *Laughs*
How am I supposed to deny that!? I mean, I’m not. But…how do you actually…logically argue against that!? That’s almost ludicrous!
What is a good-heart? We can describe it…but…it’s so hard to have a real discussion about that on the internet, involving the world community. …It’s…absurd!
There are far too many cultures involved. Far too many varying opinions on what is truly good. There is obviously objective good…but…framing that discussion in a constructive way is almost impossible. It’s an absurd argument to try to have in this context.
The perfume community: Oh.
So you thought it would just go away?
Lacey: I’m obviously not an evil-hearted person.
Obviously.
If people thought that after one person said it…after I blocked them….then why would I want them as friends anyway!?!
The perfume community: *Thinks*
SHIT!
You weren’t supposed to know that we all hated you.
I mean…some of us didn’t. But most people got sick of you. By end of 2016.
You weren’t happy enough. You bummed us out. And…you’re too rich and pretty to be loved by us. Sorry!
Listen to “The Power (Dub)” by SNAP!, again.
Lacey: What did you want me to do!? In regard to this “happiness”?
The perfume community: Did you think of yourself as an influencer? Or Casi?
Lacey: NO! Certainly not Casi, at least.
A real influencer has 50,000 followers in 2017.
The perfume community: I think some people took you all more seriously than that, as influencers. But you didn’t know that!??
Eric: No.
The perfume community: What did you think you were?!?
Lacey: Just…popular.
An influencer has to influence people. I didn’t.
The Non-Blonde was an influencer. Jeremy Fragrance was an influencer. …The Sorcerer of Scent was an influencer, possibly.
What did I actually influence anyone to do? People stole from me. That’s not being an influencer. That’s not influence. That’s having something valuable that people want.
Listen to “Danse Macabre” by Saint-Saëns.
The perfume community: Okay.
People took your opinions as truth. Blindly. But not because you were an influencer. You’re right. We lie about that, to save our egos. We still use a lot of your original ideas, even in our reviews and perfume creations. And no one will ever give you credit.
Lacey: I’m WHITE. I’ve always been white.
Do you understand how self-destructive you’re all being?
Not that you should do that to a Black person. But…it’s dangerous…as white people…in even another way. It’s completely foolish… Especially after what happened with my identity itself.
The perfume community: It takes two to tango?
Eric: GO FUCK YOURSELF!
*He laughs in exasperation*
I can’t stand how dumb you all are, apparently.
Lacey: No, you just blindly and hatefully attacked me. Unilaterally.
Now, quit staling. Answer the question!
Listen to “Brutus” by The Buttress.
The perfume community: This is obviously a woman with a strong chin-line.
*Sighs*
*Rolls their eyes*
Well…-
We wanted you to be…happy.
*They think*
Maybe…work? Outside the home?
Lacey: Doing what?
The perfume community: *Thinks*
Listen to “Cuban Cabby” by Desi Arnaz.
The perfume community: I don’t know. *They look annoyed*
Lacey: Well, try.
It’s your vision.
The perfume community: *Thinks*
An office!
Lacey: Doing what!?
The perfume community: I don’t know. Just…some office.
Lacey: Doing what!?
The perfume community: Jan’s job!
Lacey: Jan who?
The perfume community: From “The Office”.
Lacey: That’s not a job I’d ever want to do. If not for my kids, I’d rather be beaten to death.
I loathe that idea.
The perfume community: Whatever!
You don’t know, like we do.
Lacey: About myself!?
The perfume community: YES!
You have no idea what would make you happy. Like we do.
You’re not sophisticated enough.
Lacey: So what’s the point of me working outside the house…if you’re just controlling it??
It’s not better. At all. And for me, it’s worse.
The perfume community: Because you can have promiscuous sex. And…threaten men. And-
No. I’m kidding.
Umm…-
What’s wrong with you?
Why don’t you want that? Like normal women today do?
Lacey: It’s not me.
But that’s what you thought I should have?
The perfume community: Yes!
*They smile, happily*
Work!
*They look content and happy, at the thought of it.*
Edifying. Good for you! As a woman! Work!
Move on! You keep telling us to move on? Ha! You move on! Stop being in the 1950’s! GET A CLUE!
Women now…don’t have soft feminine chin-lines like you! Wide hips and tiny waists? Like you? No!
You did it wrong. You’re an idiot loser.
You should be WORKING. You dumb bitch.
*They grin, cheerfully*
*Laugh at her*
You’re outdated.
WE ARE THE FUTURE!
AI: You can’t control them well enough, as dumb as they are. Not well enough.
Listen to “Puttin’ On The Ritz” as performed by Ella Fitzgerald.
Lacey: Okay.
*She laughs*
So, let’s imagine I’m Pam. From “The Office”. I’m not Jan. I’m better looking than her, and smarter.
She’s…an insult to me.
She looks like Margy. I suspect. Which is part of the insult.
She’s a 1980’s flight attendant. In reality.
The perfume community: No!
You’re her.
I don’t care what you say.
Listen to “Straw Hat Song” by Desi Arnaz.
Lacey: Okay.
So I’m Jan. From “The Office”.
Then what?
The perfume community: So it’s Melora Hardin…young. As a wild, carefree flight attendant. Who falls for an old, sophisticated rich man?
That’s her mother!?
God: In a way.
The perfume community: Well…we want her…to be her mother. In an office.
Then what?
Well…she buys niche perfume. And…looks…less…frilly. Like…her face should look less…soft and dainty.
And…-
Then she works. A lot.
And…falls in love!!!
*They smile cheerfully, dreaming*
Lacey: With who?
The perfume community: *sighs, dreaming of their perfect world.*
Listen to “Real Love” by Mary J. Blige.
The perfume community: See. This is real love, Lacey.
You don’t understand it. You poor fool.
*They look cocky and disdainful. Then they twerk, feeling sexy and knowing.*
Look…he’s…tall.
Lacey: Okay!
The perfume community: He’s 5 feet 11.
Umm…-
He works…-
Umm.
*They think*
So…he’s…- He works in…- Ahh. …He works in…mechanics.
Lacey: You have me married to a mechanic!?!
The perfume community: Yes!
Because it’s real love.
You can’t run away!
It’s REAL.
The song ends.
Lacey: What is he a mechanic for?
Listen to “The Overture” by Andrew Lloyd Weber from Cats.
A “gay” bestie: Umm…-
If she could survive this? I’m not sure she can. You’re literally trying to obliterate her soul…intentionally or not. …I’m her best-friend.
*He laughs*
And…-
Turns out, I’m not actually gay.
Are you going to try to surgically attach a male appendage to her body?
The perfume community: No.
A “gay” bestie: Cool.
Because if you did…I’d have to get a gun and shoot both of us.
Listen to “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” as performed by Freddy Martin.
Lacey: I can’t be that woman.
I’m sorry!
I’d possibly literally die. Of a heart attack.
Truly.
I’m not that woman. I’m physically not her. …I’m sorry.
The perfume community: So you’re inferior, after all!?!
Lacey: No.
I’m not.
But I’m not…her.
Listen to “I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire” by The Ink Spots.
Lacey: So.
That’s who you wanted me to be?
The perfume community: *Looks sad*
Yes.
Lacey: Why?
The perfume community: I like niche.
*They look incredibly sad.*
You’re…incredibly elegant. I can see it.
…And your aesthetic was…truly sublime.
But…I don’t want to wear Heaven Scent.
*They make a gagging noise. *
I don’t want to wear Chanel No. 5! Or even Diorissimo,
Yuck.
…I just lost respect for you. Over time.
Listen to “Smoke Rings” by Casa Loma Orchestra.
Lacey: I see.
So those perfumes are depressing?
The perfume community: YES!!!
DEAR GOD YES!!!!!
YUCK.
I’m tired of pretending.
I got so TIRED OF PRETENDING! It felt SICK to me, after while.
Lacey: Huh.
Why was it depressing?
The perfume community: Because it was…dreary. Sad. …I don’t get why anyone ever wore them.
Lacey: To me, they smell real.
Sometimes niche smells…silly. To my nose. Like…humorous.
But you experience it differently?
The perfume community: Yes.
A lot of the older ones…seem sad, to me.
Lacey: Got it.
So you assumed I was pretentious.
The perfume community: Yes.
A lot of us did. Because we couldn’t believe you actually liked them more.
Listen to “Sway” as performed by “Pérez Prado & Rosemary Clooney.
Lacey: NO! I actually prefer them, for real.
It’s not pretentious, for me.
The perfume community: So you’re that much better looking in person?
Eric: Yes. Believe it or not.
Lem: I like Heaven Scent.
I do.
I also like Weil Antilope.
God: Elizabeth conjured him. Out of love and compassion.
I really did respect her heart. Regardless. She genuinely cared. Still does.
And…they got to talking. And I wasn’t about to let Lacey down that way. So, she can talk to them now whenever she wants. And yes, she’s just…dead, in a very unique way. But it’s virtually undetectable.
Elliott: She’s one of us, really.
You don’t like Heaven Scent?!
The perfume community: No!
It smells like poop.
Elliott: Not on her.
On her it smells like…sugar.
Like…pheromones. Musk. And vanilla-sugar. And something…refined and…almost demure.
It’s good.
The perfume community: Why do you know??
Elliott: You don’t think I can smell her!?
*He laughs*
Oh my!
Listen to “The Very Thought of You” as performed by Al Bowlly.
Elliott: *He smiles*
She’s a lady.
And I respect that Lem is…her man.
But, I still smell her.
The perfume community: You smell her!?
Elliott: Yes.
Haven’t you ever smelled someone?
The perfume community: Yes.
But not like that!
Elliott: Well…
*He thinks*
I’m a man. …And I made a choice. Doesn’t mean I don’t have regrets.
The perfume community: As a ghost!?
Listen to “Frenesi” as performed by Artie Shaw.
Elliott: I’m alive in Christ. I just don’t have my body.
But our need for love exists outside of our mortal shell.
Make sense?
The perfume community: *Thinks*
*Later*
Umm…-
Listen to “Left Hand Free” by alt-J.
The perfume community: Shoot.
So that wasn’t pretentious?
Lacey: No! Not for me.
The perfume community: SHIT!!
We misunderstood.
Listen to “World Wide Suicide” by Pearl Jam.
Putin: Oops!
*He scoffs*
The perfume community: I-
No way you liked…trash!!?
Lacey: What was trash to you?
The perfume community: Amouage. No, I’m kidding.
That’s you-
Eric: No. It isn’t.
What did you think was trash?
The perfume community: …Coty Emeraude.
But lots of others.
Lacey: It’s not!
But-
The perfume community: No! It is!!!
We know. Trust us!
*They scoff*
Lacey: No. It’s not.
It’s…Art Deco.
The perfume community: Can you quickly and easily explain why…on a molecular level!?
*They scoff*
Lacey: No. But I’m sure I’m right.
Absolutely sure.
Listen to “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac.
The perfume community: …Okay?
Whatever.
I’ll admit you might be right. But I don’t enjoy it the way you do.
You probably actually enjoy the opera too?
Lacey: YES!
The perfume community: Whatever.
To me, it’s trash. Even if, in reality, it’s not.
…And I couldn’t stand that you can appreciate it when I can’t. It just made me feel like trash.
Lacey: Not my fault.
The perfume community: Yes. But-
Eric: She’s supposed to make you happy?
The perfume community: I saw her as an influencer. Not just some…intellectual.
*Later*
The perfume community: How can you possibly think niche is silly?
Lacey: It’s not a choice.
I’m sorry.
It’s just like how you think Chanel No. 5 is off-putting. …To me it’s…astounding.
So…let’s take L’Air du Desert Morocain.
It’s stunning! An absolute masterpiece. And I can objectively say that. I can tell!
But…it’s…not…- *She laughs* For some reason, psychologically, it feels humorous to me. I can’t help it.
A niche perfume lover: Does it not smell accurate?
Lacey: Yes.
And no.
It’s something else, I think.
It’s…the cedarwood. I think.
Something about cedarwood cracks me up.
A niche perfume lover: WHY!? That’s stupid and weird.
Lacey: No. It’s actually not.
You’ve heard about scent associations? Like things that come to mind, when we smell something?
A niche perfume lover: Yes!?
Lacey: Something about cedarwood…brings ideas to me that feel…comical.
Most people today enjoy it. Right? It’s a popular note? But…I don’t experience it the way most people do, possibly.
I like it. But…not as much as most people, alive,
Glen: Comical how!?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Have you ever been in a real forest?
Glen: Yes???
Lacey: *She thinks*
It’s beautiful. But…cedar trees? Scary.
To me…it smells gorgeous…but…scary.
I mean…it smells like…my potential death.
And when I smell it…it makes me laugh. Because, it’s supposed to be perfume?
*She laughs*
I don’t necessarily want to smell like that? But…whatever.
Lou: I hear you!
It’s manly. Yes.
But…I smell potential death, as well. With those sort of notes.
Cedarwood? …It’s not piney enough. It’s…-
*He smells it*
I just don’t get cedarwood.
*He smells it*
I like it. …But, it’s not…-
Lacey: I like it too. But, not for perfume, like some people do.
I do like it…somewhat?
A retired professor at Princeton: She’s not being insulting. Do you all interpret it as an insult?
The perfume community: YES!!!
A retired professor at Princeton: That’s not in her tone.
Why does it feel insulting?
The perfume community: Because. It’s-
Why-
I can’t-
A retired professor at Princeton: Can you emotionally handle that she’s not you?
The perfume community: YES! *Roll their eyes*
A retired professor at Princeton: It doesn’t seem like it!
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