Casi: Okay. So.
Yes…I assumed too much.
But, why did I deserve to be told you were old money? That’s what I have never been able to figure out.
Lem: Because you’re an obnoxious prick.
You were all mean, cold…jealous pricks.
*Later*
Another woman in the perfume community: But don’t you think that’s mean?
Lem: So what?
Casi: I would never do that!
Lacey: No. Because you’re passive aggressive. But you’re the one, actually one of the people, who started it. …What he’s saying is true.
Another woman in the perfume community: But it’s so damn mean!
You’re essentially that there’s no way to compete with you.
Lem: SO WHAT!?
Why is that a problem?
Another woman in the perfume community: Because even if they attacked her…they’re the ones who are disadvantaged.
Lacey: Then they shouldn’t have started a childish, immature fight. They shouldn’t be stalking me. People shouldn’t be copying me.
It’s very simple.
Another woman in the perfume community: But they’re disadvantaged!
Lacey: What are you trying to say?
Lem: Good question.
A man in the perfume community: Lacey…isn’t it enough to be better? Why say it?
Lem: Are you a shallow, egotistical bastard?
*He laughs*
She’s not that…bad of a person. Why are you maligning her character?
Lacey: Yeah.
So what?
I didn’t join the community to be better than people. Not like that, anyway. That’s not…a good thing? Why would that be comforting?
A female journalist in the community: Yeah. Okay.
I get it.
Lem: *Laughs*
It’s been A DECADE.
I’m not okay with this. We’re not happy.
She’s not even able to be in the community anymore. She was being inundated with hate.
Are you people blind?
*Later*
A woman in Chicago: I think what we have here…is a group of people who were being dumb.
The perfume community is clearly comprised mainly of Liberal jackasses.
And…so…they decided…that even though they were being cruel to her…that they were allowed. …Because…they were disadvantaged, somehow.
Yes, she was supposed to go through all the hoops of being a good person but they…didn’t have to. Because, given her privilege, they were allowed to do whatever the hell they wanted to do.
That’s clearly morally incorrect. You can’t tell me that poor people are given special rights in Heaven to be evil. …I’m not saying that stealing actual food when you’re starving isn’t different of you’re poor. No, not at all. But…you can’t go around being a bitch to people who are just minding their own business, just because you’re poor. …That’s totally unnecessary.
Casi: Okay.
You know what? I don’t know who you are…but…- I was nice to her.
The woman: YEAH RIGHT.
Yeah, right.
*She laughs at Casi.*
Casi: You don’t know what happened!
The woman: I think I do.
What’s more, I think you know I do.
*She waits*
You’re a crazy Liberal, aren’t you? But you’re not honest about it, because you’re living in rural America. I can tell!
*She laughs*
*People are silent, in response.*
A man in Lacey’s neighborhood: Alright.
*He scoffs.*
Jim: What if what she’s saying is true?
*People are silent in response.*
A woman in the perfume community: Okay.
Fine.
Maybe we did basically feel that way.
Lacey: Okay.
*Later*
Lacey: So…I’m confused. What did you feel?
Casi: Can’t you ask that fake woman?
*She rolls her eyes and scoffs*
Lacey: I can’t.
So…what did you all feel?
The perfume community: *Looks confused.*
*Later*
Lacey: So what’s going on?
The perfume community: I don’t like that woman’s…vanilla value system. It’s annoying as hell. But…if I’m being honest? She’s not totally wrong.
I just don’t get…feeling…no sympathy for her? Or any of us.
Lacey: Because I don’t see you as actually inferior. You’re not allowed to be dumb people to me…just because you’re not old money.
*Later.*
Casi: But you made me…and other people…feel inferior.
Lacey: And that bothered you?
Casi: Yes…
Lacey: In what way?
Casi: You cannot be serious!!!
*She flips-out.*
Lacey: No. I’m quite serious.
You’re attacking me. You committed a felony.
What’s your reason? I imagine it better be pretty darn good. Or you’re just a “psycho”, silly, ugly hearted fool…
Casi: My ego means more to me than you. My ego is like my baby.
I worship myself. Constantly.
Marijolijn, David, Christine, and several others who followed her: We are the same. Our egos…matter…to us.
*Later*
The perfume community: Except…we aren’t just egotistical idiots.
Really.
Casi: No.
It’s out egos. Certainly.
But…it’s also that we are deeply insecure people.
Lacey: How is that my fault? Or my responsibility?
The perfume community: *Thinks*
So you don’t feel bad at all?
Lacey: No. I do.
Of course I do.
The perfume community: Then why don’t you care??
Lacey: I DO.
But I didn’t create any of you. And you’re all adults.
The perfume community: *Thinks*
No, it’s our problem.
Lacey: I’m not you. I can’t help you the way you can help yourselves. …I can’t…do your thinking for you. Or your healing.
The perfume community: We assumed you cared too much, and so…ironically it was funny to impersonate you. Because you’re dense. And…backward.
Lacey: Nope.
That’s sad that you assumed that.
A Black woman: I would bet none of you talked to this woman? At least not really.
The perfume community: Yes.
Okay. But why are you so fricking nice!?!
Lacey: Do you agree with them?
*She asks Lady Angela Rosslyn.*
Lady Angela: NO!
She’s not.
You’re-
*She runs off to talk to someone.*
Lacey: Why are you all so mean and grumpy all of the time?
Why is everyone so…grumpy? I’ve been told this since I was a child.
Lem: My generation, our generation, was actually nicer. Part of it is genetics. And there’s nothing anyone can do. She’s just nicer by innate genetic instinct. She’s not choosing to be herself. No one is. And we are all extremely complex beings.
A hater in the community who is Black: We hate ourselves.
Lacey: WHY!?
The hater: Well…I don’t know…but in all seriousness…I’m thinking it’s a societal problem.
Lacey: Me too. It’s too wide spread not to be.
Another woman (white) in the community: *Had something to say, but chickened out.*
*Later*
Lacey drives by a woman in her neighborhood who she’s never seen before. She’s with her young child. The woman seems to be enjoying telling her son how weird Lacey is. And Lacey hears this because Lacey’s husband has his windows down. Except…she seems to be. So…there’s also a chance the woman isn’t doing anything at all.
The Illuminati: We did that.
We started years ago. Some dumbass thought we could give her a real diagnosis of schizophrenia if we just kept working at it. So far, it’s been pretty bad…for us.
Lacey: I’m just not schizophrenic. You can’t make someone mentally-ill in that way.
*She laughs*
Oh well. There’s a reason why we’re moving.
They’ll be happier in about a year.
A reader: So…are you going to do the same thing in the next community she moves to?
The Illuminati: Maybe.
*Looks mildly embarrassed*
A lot of us aren’t old money. Okay?
We’re dumb narcissists. Who isolate people.
*They laugh with Lacey.*
We didn’t figure it would happen this way. Where she’s outing us…moment by moment on her blog-
*They laugh with Lacey.*
A reader: Was that a Jew?
Israel: YES!
Yes.
Lacey’s smart. Okay!??
Jews are often smart. I’ll take that stereotype. Thank you.
*He laughs*
She’s not a Jew…but…she fits in, somewhat.
We are…apparently…outing the Illuminati.
A reader: Israel is putting the Illuminati on air…to explain themselves. …Using Lacey??
Israel: Yes.
In a way.
I guess it was only a matter of time.
A reader: I thought you people liked secret plots for world domination?
Israel: Well. What culture doesn’t? Right?
But…sometimes…we’re just too Jewish to let ourselves get away with it.
Lacey: I don’t think they’ll be able to attack me as easily when I move.
The Illuminati: True.
She’s scary. You know?
She might actually be Scotia.
Do you have any idea what kind of shit we’ve gotten ourselves into? Attacking her?
A reader: But you’re not all Jews.
Jerry: True.
Lacey: I’m sorry I made you all feel more insecure?
The perfume community: *Looks confused*
What did you do to the people in her community!?
The Illuminati: We set things up.
Slowly, over time.
The perfume community: Why do you care so much?
The Illuminati: *sighs*
Ego.
Oil.
Christ.
Lots of deep stuff.
A neighbor: Are you going to still watch us, after she moves?
The Illuminati: Not really.
*They laugh.*
Do any of you have mineral rights to one of America’s largest oil reserves?
And a birth father like Tom Banks?
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