A reader: I have some questions to ask you.
First and foremost, are you with Elliott Roosevelt or are you with Lem Billings? 
Second of all, actually never mind just answer that question.
Lou: Are you actually wondering about anything else or is that really the only thing you want to know?
A reader:  That’s all I want. 
*hours later*
God: Lem.
Listen to “Softcore” by The Neighborhood.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: She’s demon possessed.
Right?
*she smiles*
A regular Democrat voter; a white upper middle class woman in her 40’s: *Thinks*
Lacey: You found a friend?
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: *She laughs*
Do you believe in Jesus? *She says seriously*
A regular Democrat voter; a white upper middle class woman in her 40’s: *Looks apprehensive*
*Tries to desperately read the situation*
A Born-Again Christian woman in her 60’s: I’m a Believer too.
*She laughs, joyfully*
So…-
Hi! I’m Suzanne.
*She laughs*
White Woman in her 40’s: I’m a Christian. Yeah!
A Born-Again Christian in her 60’s: I pray for Lacey. Every day.
*she laughs*
White woman in her 40’s: So do I.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I’m not…-
I’m not trying to preach.
White woman in her 40’s: So true!
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: So…-
I just wanted to say hi.
White woman in her 40’s: Great…
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Do you Believe?
White woman in her 40’s: Yeah.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I’m feeling weirded-out.
*Looks very upset*
White woman in her 40’s: *Looks awkward, and nervous*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I’m not…awake.
Look…you’re…not…-
I’m Jewish.
White woman in her 40’s: Huh.
So you’re Norwegian?
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I worship our Messiah.
White woman in her 40’s: I’m not Jewish. They’re just our neighbors.
*She grins*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: So you hate that Lacey’s a Jew?
White woman in her 40’s: I’m not Jewish…either.
*she laughs awkwardly*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Okay.
Except she’s white.
White woman in her 40’s: Okay.
Well, goodbye.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Are you white?
White woman in her 40’s: YEAH!
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I want sex…
White woman in her 40’s: I’m not aroused.
*She’s asleep too.*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: NO WAY!!
*looks mad*
*looks hurt*
White woman in her 40’s: Stop.
A Born-Again Christian white woman: You’re mean…-
*she cries*
White woman in 40’s: OKAY!
*Looks mad*
A Born-Again Christian white woman: I feel…-
You’re a Christian?
White woman in 40’s: NO!!! GO AWAY!!!
A Born-Again Christian white woman: I’m tired.
And so…I sleep.
You just don’t get it. When the word of the Lord-
*she pauses*
Wait! OH! THIS IS A SEX DREAM.
*she seems relieved*
White Christian woman in 40’s: No! Sweetie, we ain’t having sex!
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I am too having sex with you! YOU-
YOU-
White women in her 40’s: OH.
You’re a lesbian?
*she laughs*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Yeah.
*she laughs*
No. I’m not. The Lord delivered me years ago.
I shouldn’t have watched that porn.
*she looks sad and guilty*
A white woman in her 40’s: I’m not trying-
I’m married.
A white woman in her 60’s: So am I.
Gee, I wonder if we could be friends?
A white woman in her 40’s: *starts singing*
A white woman in her 60’s: DON’T SING!!!
A white woman in her 40’s: *sings*
A white woman in her 60’s: Starts hopping around.
Lacey: Hi!
Both of the women: *stop and stare at her*
*look suddenly cold, heartless and possibly violent*
Lacey: You’re both…up to some…trouble.
Both of the women: *Smirk.*
Lacey: Well.
I’m not attracted to women.
Both of the women: *think*
*look offended*
Lacey: Why does that make you so angry?
Both of the women: *Think*
Because we’re more evolved. *one of them says*
Lacey: You both think that?
Both of the women: Yes.
Yes.
*they both say*
Lacey: How does Jesus feel about that?
Both of them: *Look angry and laugh at her*
Lacey: I didn’t know that homosexuality was a universally accepted concept in Christianity?
Both of them: *One laughs and the other looks angry*
Lacey: It’s not…
Both of them: *think*
Lacey: I have no demons. Just so you know. I’m just heterosexual.
Both of them: *think*
That’s why you dress for men! *Says the one in her 60’s*
Lacey: You can tell!?!
*stunned, they cut out*
A reader: They’re going to think this is a dream…
I’m so confused.
