“Bobby Jr. wants Joe Jr. to suck his big fat dick?” asks Lacey in the Minneapolis Institute of Art. She fell asleep with Lem Billings last night after having a very chaste date with him.
“We went on the date with you! Therefore iPod fact-is, twinkle-finkle shit…we got his dick, bitch!” says the Illuminati collectively.
Truth is…if Lacey isn’t schizophrenic…they stupidly stalk her. Ever since chatting her up in 2016 against her will.
“We didn’t even have sex!” yells Lem. He’s referring to him and Lacey. But the Illuminati thinks it’s Sex in the Museum using telepathy and astral projection time. They came to the cool kid event wearing suits and high heels. It’s a “classy” place.
They’re disappointed. Because they recall having sex with him. All of them.
“They were having sex with demons.” says Lem. “Demons can impersonate dead humans.”
“No they can’t!!! Every spiritual entity that exists is made of butterflies and sunshine and my asshole.” says a knowing witch. “There is no Devil! I choose happiness over the bullshit you believe in! I choose light in darkness!!!”
Of course…none of them did. As in, Lem isn’t lying. Seemingly. Actually, he woke up feeling insecure about what he looked like when he aged. And he took that insecurity out on Lacey and rejected her womanly, cheerful innocent love. He was cold. She couldn’t place why.
The thing is…Bobby Jr. was dumb enough not to realize he just wanted to suck his uncle’s cock? He wanted to screw Jack? Because what? If Lem wanted it…he had it from Jack. And *shrug* I’m pretty sure Ethel didn’t spread her legs out of sexual frustration and conceive Bobby Jr. with some dipshit door to door salesman who offered to get her off. So…if Jack is Bobby’s biological, or at least familial uncle…then why would you want to fuck your uncle by proxy? Or does he like to steal uncles and aunts. His last wife did strongly resemble Jackie. And his fist wife resembles Lacey in a way… Is he subconsciously into incest?
“Hey you wacky bitch! You spread those sexy gams for my daddy! How about trying me sometimes?!” he pouts to Jackie?
“It’s all about Jack and Bobby?” wonders a victim of Covid-19. She imagines a cover of a book with Bobby grinning like a new-generation, still fresh and upcoming, top-rated sex-athlete (sexlete) as Jack (and old time sexlete) shakes his head mischievously.
“The ding dong dang Devil made me do did!” Jack says about his hit relationship with his nephew. Not hit relationship book but relationship. As in, it’s the true Kennedy romance everyone is talking about!!! Forget what you’ve read about Jackie and Bobby! Forget what you’ve read about Ethel and someone unknown. Forget what you’ve read about Rose and that mysterious guy in Paris? …Forget about Kick and the English aristocracy. …Or any of the possibly wild and genuinely hidden sex lives of the Kennedy women. …Nope. Focus on Jack’s dick. Focus on little Bobby’s dick. It’s Dad’s orders?
“Come on! Be an American!” says Scott.
“Everyone is talking about it?! Gee! Why not me?!” says a squealing woman who had a crush on JFK.
“Sweetie. It’s gross.” says Zelda to the woman.
“Well…everyone loves the Kennedy’s though. I don’t want to assume I can comprehend their sex lives.” she says with melancholy.
“But that’s his uncle.” says Scott to the woman.
“Gee. Yeah.” she says as drool comes out of her mouth.
“Are you okay?” asks Harold.
The woman’s eye-cross and she goes into a seizure. Then she dies.
Five minutes later she emerges looks confused.
“Dear God! That’s a weird drug!!” she says in fear.
“What drug?” asks Scott.
“You ask God, Scott!” she replies.
“Is it the capitalists?” asks Harold.
“No! It’s me tweaking my early 20th Century brain to relate.” she says like a supposed “bitch.”
“Maybe that’s not true?” says a dead man.
“Maybe it is true.” says Lacey. “Maybe Bill Gates is from old money…and Bobby’s father is a tall, scrawny Eastern European sex-addict.”
“Did you notice that he doesn’t look like his father?” asks Rocky.
“Do you want an honest answer?” asks Lacey.
“I didn’t spread my legs.” says Ethel or someone on her behalf.
“I hope not.” says Lacey. She means it in every possibly empathetic way.
A once Eastern European door to door salesman who actually does look like Bobby Jr. is still curious. He may have had a legitimate sex addiction and personality disorder tendency like Bobby Jr..
“He’ll just think I wanna fuck em’.” says Lacey in annoyance. She wants to strangle evil but instead she rolls her eyes.
“It’s called class snobbery.” says Joe Sr. to Bobby Jr.. “And your grandmother agrees with me.” They look at him. “What exactly is your problem Bobby Jr.?”
“I think the true Kennedy curse is homosexuality. I think it’s at the root of all your problems. Queer!, sensitive, sexy men who are horribly insecure about their sexual identity. And so they overcompensate…and fuck hundreds of women to seem truly heterosexual. But in reality y’all want a piece of Lem’s cock.” *Lacey snaps her fingers* “Yummy!” She smiles. “The thing is…he really probably was straight. Based on this.” *she extends her hands out to reference this reality* “And sadly for Bobby Jr. and his sex addiction and fascinating psychosis…he wasn’t a pedophile seemingly either.”
“Do tell us more about Bobby Jr.’s psychosis.” says Scott.
“So no. Try to get it through your weak brain (?) Lem doesn’t want to suck your cock Bobby if he hasn’t already.” Kick says. “If he didn’t get you to sex him up with speedballs…and molest you…then he probably used drugs because you wanted to shake your hard cock in his medicated face like the try-hard malignant, retarded narcissist you are.”
“I think he lives in a false reality. In which he’s a grown man from birth. And everyone wants a piece of him. But not in a perverse way in his mind, which of course, is different than reality. I wonder who molested him if it wasn’t Lem. But regardless, he exists in a way in which he’s their actual equal without ever developing a true adult sense of reality.” Lacey says. “Jack was very similar. Bobby is like a pageant-toddler who’s never grown-up and instead just continually leans in to that identity. They all were slightly like that but some worse than others. He and Jack were the worst, possibly due to the mutually closeted homosexuality and irrefutable perversion they both accepted as their own?”
“The environment has done so well with Bobby Jr. as it’s defender. So did the US with his…uncle.” says a dead woman.
“So which is it? Do you cognitively comprehend that you need to tell the truth?” asks Lacey.
“He molested me.” Bobby says flippantly. “And I liked it!” He shakes his ass and his head thinking he can sue the author of this blog. And prove that he’s superior once and for all! To all his peasant suckers.
“Or is it peasant-suckers?” asks Zelda.
“Present-suckers?” asks Harold.
“He’s using the poor white Americans to get votes. Just like his family did.” says Lacey. “ I doubt he cares about anyone. Including himself.”
“No! I wasn’t molested.” he says.
“But you liked it!!” says Cable-dude. They do sexy sexy sex together. ?
“I’m queer. Okay?” says Bobby Jr..
“Just like you were molested?” asks Bill Gates.
“Damn that curse.” says Joe Sr..