The Sound Of Music

I watched the “The Sound of Music” several times as a child. Each time I took something different from it. But…I vividly recall finding the way Baron Von Trapp acted…odd. His movements seemed so slow… I may have even asked my parents “Why is he acting like that?” And…I think somewhere in the back of my mind I kept thinking he was…drunk? High?

My parents claimed to see nothing out of the ordinary.

I just watched Tik Tok and…apparently Christopher Plumber was drunk during at least one scene. …I need to stop doubting myself about my observations. At least those sort of observations.

I notice things other people don’t about certain types of things. It’s why I was so good at reviewing perfume. It’s why I wanted to be a lawyer most of my childhood. Or a historian…

I need to pray. I need to pray because there may be a Purgatory… And there’s at least God. And…I knew. I knew he was drunk. When I was…six or seven?

More later…

Nonsense, Kate Bush

I think men and women can understand each other without swapping places. And if they don’t fully it’s because for the better they aren’t each other and they’re meant to figure each other out slowly.

But I hate not knowing.

Sometimes I have to try to believe that God has saved me. Really. Not partially. And, again, that when I try to ask for His help and forgiveness that He’s listening. That He forgives. Because I don’t know what He expects perfectly…as it feels like we’ve all been taught what’s acceptable in broken, almost useless and weak Christian Churches.

Because…I don’t like waiting to find out. I hate not knowing in the first place and having to wait… *agitated face* I would prefer to know the brutal truth.

But what if the brutal truth is that I have wait? …Because? Because God is good and perfect.

I’m being cryptic. *smile* But it’s just a personal public blog.

Happy end of the week almost…

Maybe more later, maybe not.