Keen to Cross the Pond

Casi: I chose to ignore how sad you were.

Because A. I found you incredibly beautiful. Both internally and externally. There was no way to be better than you. And, B. It was too depressing.

A lot of people did. And…we’ve just been self-worshipping, self-pitying psychopaths, in regard to you.

Lacey: *Laying, as Lady Rosslyn, on some other aristocrat’s kitchen countertops…in the basement in Scotland. In the 1800’s.*

Wow!

This isn’t as nice as I had thought it would be.

Our kitchens were really this bad!??

*later*

Lacey: THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST! *she yells at Casi*

Casi: I hate you.

*she smirks*

Lacey: Yes!

But not…really.

You mostly just…-

*she thinks*

You mostly just…-

*she shrugs*

You…find me aggravating?

Casi: *thinks*

You know it’s not aggravating, though.

Lacey: I know. …What is it?

Casi: I find you…depressing.

I’m never going to be Scotia. Okay!?!

…If there’s reincarnation, I’m NEVER going to be the daughter of Lord Loughborough. Or Lord Snotgrass. Lord…anything.

That time has passed. SO passed.

And yet…HERE YOU FUCKING ARE. …Lady Rosslyn…or something. …Lonely…sad…-

I could not…handle it.

And YES…of course you and Mark have money. Your family reminds me of the one I married into. In Italy. If there’s reincarnation.

I get it.

But…it’s not enough.

OKAY!?

And…I was just ready…for fun.

When I followed you? I just wanted fun.

Not more depressing news. Okay!?

No. This was NOT IT.

Lacey: *laughs*

No. I hear you.

It’s not…The Breakers.

Casi: No!

It’s like…what do I even have to look forward to?

If there’s reincarnation….for me…you were INSANELY DEPRESSING.

Because…where THE FUCK is Lem!?! Or…SOMEONE!?

And what does that mean? About ME!? …You know!?

Matt: That makes complete sense.

Casi: *cries, in her spirit, if there’s reincarnation*

I can’t take anymore!

Jada: What about Lord Thynne!?!

Casi: *thinks*

*shuffles something with her feet, thinking*

*sniffles*

*thinks*

I mean…-

*she thinks*

Yeah. Okay!?

But…I’m not stupid. …I can tell he’s not [she says Lem’s name in Great Britain, if there’s reincarnation]…

*she gets pouty and upset*

Jada: How did you figure out all of this!?

Casi: I was…stalking her.

Psychically.

Jada: Mmkay.

Casi: *sniffles*

I mean…this isn’t okay, guys!

Louis, of France: Well!

What can we do about it?

Casi: FUCK YOU!!! *she yells, at him*

Louis, of France: Casi…there’s nothing we can do.

Casi: *just yells, dramatically, in his face*

Louis, of France: *if there’s reincarnation, begins to cry*

*some chaos*

Lacey: But you don’t need to be me.

Casi: That isn’t the point!

Lacey: *thinks*

You can’t be me.

*thinks*

Why does it make you so upset?

Casi: Because!

*she sniffles*

I used to look-up to you. …I used to see people like you, as…experts. At life.

If you’re this incompetent? Then what?

Lacey: It was a terrible mistake. …It’s not common.

*later*

Lacey: *Wanders into the Woodlawn House, in County Galway. Looks around.*

Ghosts haunting Woodlawn House: Boo!

Lacey: *laughs*

Are you all really that scary?

Ghosts haunting Woodlawn House: YES!

When we want to be.

Lacey: I love it here!

You seem…nice.

Ghosts haunting Woodlawn House: Frederick Trench is terrified of you. …But…you’re on OUR side.

It’s not much…but it’s home. *they joke*

Lacey: I was never like this. To my servants.

If there’s reincarnation.

The ghosts haunting Woodlawn House: No! They were cruel to you. On occasion.

If there’s even reincarnation.

And…you were an orphan.

And…you lost SO MUCH. Including children.

If there’s reincarnation…we’re a lot alike. Intriguingly.

Casi: What!??

The ghosts haunting Woodlawn House: You feel our pain far more than you relate to their privilege. *they say to lacey*

Lacey: Why are we still screaming?

The ghosts haunting Woodlawn House: Ahh…we can’t stop. …And, if there’s reincarnation…neither can you.

Chris: I thought she was just an idiot. And a narcissist. …She’s so pretty…

Casi: See…I knew she was sad.

But…-

Lacey: If there’s reincarnation…I was there when the last owner committed suicide. And it feels personal.

Was he that depressed?

The man: When I died!!?

Lacey: Yes.

The man: No!

*he laughs*

Not in that final moment.

Lacey: Did you die, looking out of a window?

The man: Almost.

Lacey: Gosh, I wish I knew if I was there. With you.

The man: Why would you have done that? If you were.

Lacey: I empathized. With you.

All the ghosts there: WE DO NOT LIKE VISITORS.

Be warned.

Lacey is more like a friend…

*later*

Casi…you should just stop. Really.

Lacey: I’m sorry it was so depressing. But it wasn’t my fault.

Casi: I know.

I don’t care.

And, I’m just not going to be sad. I’m going to destroy you…to keep myself safe.

Make sense?

God: Except…that doesn’t work.

Casi: Why?

*looks confused*

Lord Ashtown: …Because…A. You’re not really one of us. …You’re just not.

B. You don’t…understand.

…There’s just so much you don’t know. …So much you can’t understand.

Alright?

You’re not in the right. And…evil loses, in the end. So there’s that. …But also…you can’t…-

You’re WAY out of your depth.

Do you even know who I am!??

*he laughs at her*

Casi: Are we all way out of our depth?

Lord Ashtown: *laughs at her, again*

I can’t even answer that, it makes me so angry.

GOOD GOD!!! *he yells, to someone else, in absolute rage and frustration*

Casi: Wait.

I’m the only one.

A dead Irish man: YES.

You really think Lords and Ladies are everywhere?

They’re not.

If there’s reincarnation…you, actually, were their only hope. None of them are remotely as impressive. In any lifetime.

You had a title. Albeit through marriage, but still.

Casi: What was I supposed to do for them!?

A dead Irish man from the 1700’s: Well…they were all too scared of her. To be honest. And too…genuinely confused.

You…knew she was…able to be viciously attacked. If you played your cards right. And said all the right things to the right people and made all the right moves. And you did. Her neighbors called the police on this blog, because of you.

They had no idea how to attack her. You did. And they had always wanted to. …People have hated her and wanted to harm her, out of cruelty and jealousy, since she was a child.

Lord Loughborough: You made a horrendous decision to do it.

You really did.

But you had…a lot of support.

Casi: We all feel stupid. Because she makes materialistic things seem dumb. …And for most people alive today…that’s all there is. …Lacey…that’s all we got. …Okay!?

Lem: What…the HELL!?

See…that’s part of why you keep missing my underlying point. In one of my most famous quotations. You keep downgrading…meaning itself.

“Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.”

A gay man: But you’re not that deep.

Right?

You’re a shady-ass fucker? *he giggles*

You…cheated. And GOT PAID.

…I mean. You’re a shallow…prissy…bitch. A diva.

And…you just wanted ass…and money. And a pat on your shallow head.

You’re pathetic. Because you still loved him. But…whatever.

You’re…clearly just…a narcissistic loser. Who didn’t give a fuck and just wanted to make bank…

And I admire that. Because you don’t get hurt. You just win. You win shit. And I LOVE IT.

Lem: I wasn’t that shallow.

…I was trying to be subtle. And it didn’t work.

A woman from 2026: What was your point?

Lem: *thinks*

I’m trying not to get angry. What he said really pisses me off.

*he thinks*

Not because he’s right, by the way.

*he smiles*

I was trying to say that…life is only about being happy. And that…to be truly happy…you have to actually live your own life. Not just be someone else’s “best friend”. …I didn’t live my own life. …I had almost no real life of my own. I was just…Jack’s…thing. Not even a person. A thing.

And, I was actually a man. Not a toy. Not…a slave. And I had some recognition of that.

I…almost, obliterated myself.

*later*

NBC: Lem…we’re avoiding the truth.

You were clearly heterosexual.

And for some reason, Lacey’s actual personality scares me shitless. …It’s easier to be jealous of her than to deal with her actual feelings.

Lacey: I think you’re jealous of me. …But I also don’t think you…understand love anymore.

I think… so many of you are all…lost and confused.

Listen to “Something In The Way” by Nirvana.

Lacey: Yes.

Lem was obviously straight.

Obviously.

Life is that dark, right now. Life…can be that bad. Things are that screwed up.

Yes. Life…is that dark.

*later*

A hater: Are you dark? *they ask Lacey*

Lacey: No.

I’m a very serious person. But I’m not actually dark.

*she smiles*

Casi: I think…if there’s reincarnation…I wish I was still a countess. But…at the same time…I truly am Casi.

I feel like…Tom…is just your dad. …And Mark? He’s…a husband? A viable…marriage. Him being another aristocrat.

And your kids are just…your kids.

But…you’re not even supposed to be here.

It was a horrible mistake. You got played.

…I was supposed to be here.

I’m learning.

…I hate not being elite. Okay!? It SUCKS.

And…you being you…made that so much more painful. You…were a thorn in my side. Every damn time you posted. …I felt…personally attacked. …Because…it was a reminder of what I had. And a reminder that it wasn’t, even so, good enough. You’re better than me. …And…yet…right now? I’m even worse off.

You know?

And…I just lost my shit.

I just completely lost my fucking mind.

Okay!?

…There are things I don’t think you understand though.

A. Everyone is competing. …I mean…maybe some people aren’t. But…it’s not war, Lacey. It’s COMPETITION. Stop…bragging…thinking you’re doing something noble. …We don’t take it that way. We take as you being an asshole. End of story.

B. …Congratulations on being heterosexual. *she laughs* …But girl…you dress like a lesbian. YOU DO. …You really do. …It is…chill. I get it! I totally get it. …But it’s not…helping you. …It looks like us. And no one today is patient enough to decode all that shit. NO ONE. Please stop being so damn difficult!!!

C. You don’t want friends? Cool. Then STOP BEING SO CHEERFUL. …I know that’s how you were raised, but it’s not working. …No one is that way anymore. And…you seem…folksy and Republican…or…dumb. Or like you’re low-key desperate for friends. …If you’re someone who actually takes time to get close…then…chill the fuck out.

D. –

Lacey: I don’t know how to do that last one. I really don’t. It’s not at all natural to me. I can’t just fix it.

Casi: *thinks*

What are you looking for from people!?!

Lacey: *thinks*

Just…pleasant chatter. Polite smiles.

Casi: To us…nowadays…that’s fake. Even if it’s not. Or it’s desperate.

Lacey: Or it’s gross and too…old fashioned?

Casi: YES.

Lacey: I have no idea what else to do.

Casi: *thinks*

Micheal…why did Jack bring her to me!?! I’m GETTING ANGRY!!

Michael: Yeah.

Because you can’t find a way to make it make sense.

Casi: HUH.

Yes.

*later*

Joe Davis: Lacey…do you…you know…hang-out…with Lem?

Lacey: Yes.

Joe: Okay.

Why-

*he thinks*

Do you understand what’s going on!?

I understand…this has been very traumatic.

Lacey: *thinks*

I’m not sure.

I think I do?

Why?

Joe: Yeah.

*thinks*

I think you’re…with him.

…And…whatever he was…now…he’s…yours.

And actually…did you think he was straight…or did he tell you that?

Lacey: I definitely heard that. I would never have come up with that myself.

Bobby: *fumes*

John Smoltz: I mean….I’m hearing her as telling me that. Not her lying. And I can read the difference, energetically.

The Illuminati: Really?

John Smoltz: Yes.

This scares me.

Jennifer Lopez: Me too.

I’m not hearing her as a liar. I’m sorry.

Bobby: *fumes and cries*

The Illuminati: If it wasn’t obvious to you that he was definitely heterosexual and you were…an idiot…why would you be so upset??

Bobby: *forces himself to laugh and smile*

It’s just her. She’s just that annoying.

The Illuminati: But why are you only interested in talking about this? All of the time.

Bobby: I’m not!

The Illuminati: Yes, you are.

Bobby: I don’t think-

It’s not that.

The Illuminati: It’s not what?!

Bobby: It’s not…that I’m…pathetic.

The Illuminati: *thinks*

Lacey: How would you be pathetic?

Bobby: *thinks*

I…assumed he was way too into me. And…I let it go to my head, and shape my sense of self, as an adult.

And…it’s horrifying.

Chris: Well…I didn’t know.

Satan: *laughs, thinking it’s hilarious*

Lacey: I think, from what I understand, that he was hurt by you. But…more like you were rejecting him as a son. Or…nephew. And he felt he’d failed you. And failed himself.

Bobby: *thinks*

Failed me how!?

Lem: Like he should have been better.

Never done drugs with you. Never…any of that. Just…let it go.

As in, just…die.

Do you understand why I had to keep lying?

Cheryl: Bobby is having a panic attack.

What are you talking about?

Lem: In part I had to keep pretending to be a ruffian. Because…it may have been a part of my alibi. And I needed that to protect my identity and my family.

Bobby: YOU KILL…MY FAMILY!?!

*Lacey eats Skittles, and not to be ironic*

Lem: Yes.

I helped assassinate Jack.

Bobby: *can’t respond, he’s too shocked*

Joe: Chris…was this really necessary!?

The Illuminati: *laughs and shakes “its” head no*

Kate: I think this was necessary! *smiles, pleasantly*

Joe: Oh, for sure.

*rolls his eyes*

Chris: *smirks*

Bobby: YOU FUCKA!!! *he yells at Lem*

You FAT…FUCKING…TRASH!!!

Chris: *shrugs*

Listen to “Jazz Suite No. 2” by Shostakovich, as performed by the Russian State Symphony.

Bobby: YOU DYKE!!! *he yells at Lem*

2:40

The song ends.

Listen to “Cry Me a River” by Justin Timberlake.

Lacey: No. Hold-on.

Why…does the model…die? …But that’s not good enough?

She was…his girlfriend.

Fern: You’re right.

Lacey: Why?

Stanley Kubrick: –

Satan: She’s right.

Answer.

Stanley Kubrick: SHIT.

3:00

Lacey: Why?

3:30

Lacey: Why?

4:13

Stanley Kubrick: This song is creepy.

It sounds ancient…and African. At the end.

Why?

Because…- *he thinks*

He was…gay.

That’s part of what they cut out.

…He was bisexual.

And he got caught.

Tom Cruise’s character.

I made it seem like he was gay.

Lacey: Go on. Please.

Stanley: He was gay.

So she wasn’t a fitting sacrifice. In the end they sacrificed their daughter. To save their lives, in their minds. Assuming she’d never know, somehow. We hope.

Lacey: Which god are they trying to appease?

Stanley Kubrick: Satan.

Lacey: So it involves sex?

Stanley Kubrick: You got it.

Lacey: Is his wife Lilith?

Stanley Kubrick: No.

YOU could symbolize Lilith. …Nicole could portray her too. But you, as a character…could. You’re…her. …I mean, you’re not her. But…you’re her.

…That character…wants to be her. But she isn’t.

Would you have run off with the Captain?

Lacey: No.

But I’d not be married to that man, either.

Kubrick: Exactly.

You’d have married Ziegler. And…possibly divorced him. If he wasn’t Lem.

And he’d…adore you. Your his trusted friend.

No. You don’t still sleep together.

…You protect the kids.

He takes you very seriously. So if you say it’s a bad idea? He listens.

It’s a completely different film.

And he truly depends on your advice. He sees you as…his Lilith.

I’m sorry you haven’t had that…

*he thinks*

Lacey: I don’t entirely see the sacrifice…

Kubrick: He’s…sexually deviant. And so…they need a greater sacrifice. By societal standards.

See…in the house…he keeps wandering around. And why? Why is he not just…watching? Because he’s looking for gay sex. He sees men dancing with men. But he doesn’t see gay sex. So he’s going to find it…when he gets caught.

…I was actually hinting at…the Kennedys. When I made the film. Which is why I chose the captain. And Cape Cod. He’s JFK. She’s Jackie.

Jack is in competition with Joe. …But you see Lem? Not Joe.

Lacey: Yes.

Kubrick: Interesting.

And Ziegler looks like Zigler.

Lacey, is…Lem…that man?

Lacey: Mr. Ziegler?

Kubrick: Yes.

Lacey: Yes.

Kubrick: *thinks*

Where are you!?!

Lacey: *thinks*

I’m…the man behind the desk. At the hotel.

He’s almost comedic.

Kubrick: *laughs*

Where else?

Lacey: I’m the model.

Who stupidly agrees to die.

Kubrick: What should you have done?

Lacey: …Just left.

Just…given-up on Ziegler. Gone to a ranch in Montana. …Finished my doctorate.

You can be sure she’s in love with Ziegler. And symbolically I’m in love, it was, with…beauty. The good in the fallen world. I keep trying to…redeem it. As a Christian. But…I should have just stopped.

Kubrick: And then he was killed that night.

Lacey: Well…better him dead…than his daughter sold and molested.