Lacey grew-up in an apartment because her parents were going to be Christian missionaries. Her father had attended and graduated from a missionary college and her mother had plans to attend there but decided against it. But they’d spent years pursuing that aim and still had that mentality somewhat afterward.
Also, her mother had an art degree and her father had a degree in sociology/anthropology. And they never did much of anything lucrative with their university degrees.
They got stuck making what would today be about $80,000 for their small family of three people. With both parents working.
“But someone making $80,000.00 in 2022 could easily afford a $300,000.00 house!” someone protests.
“Yes! But her parents donated about $1,400 a month to charities and their church. Or about $17,000.00 a year.” says another ghost.
“So they could have purchased a home but choose to donate money instead.” says someone else.
“But a $300,000.00 house is middle-class.” protests someone.
“Yes! But they weren’t doing well based on their life choices. Remember? You just heard that.” says another person.
“Fine! But if they were in the upper-class why didn’t they have a trust fund?” protests a man who is wealthy but socio-economically lower middle-class.
“Having a trust fund isn’t the benchmark for being in the upper-class. Inherited wealth is a better indicator. And they did inherit money.” explains a CPA.
“What’s the difference between a trust fund and inherited wealth?” asks a hater.
“A trust fund is generally experienced during one’s adulthood. An inheritance is something you wait to receive.” says Lacey. “If I’m not mistaken. And making a trust fund versus an inheritance the deciding factor could work in certain situations to differentiate between upper-class and upper middle-class but not well enough. It’s too arbitrary really though.” says Lacey.
“Okay! How much did your parents inherit?” a hater asks Lacey.
“They’re still inheriting it. It’s an investment. Initially it was just $20,000.00 in the early 2000’s, today $32,000.00. But it’s now about $3,000,000 or so. They’re still inheriting it.” says a ghost.
“300,000.00?” says a hater, impressed.
“No! $3,000,000.00.” says another hater. We’ll call her hater a.
“So the oil was like winning the lottery? I bet they’re drunk and stupid by now.” says a hater. “You know what happens when white trash wins the lottery.” We’ll call this person hater b.
“Nah! They weren’t white trash.” says hater c. “But I think you have to have billions to be upper-class. I think no billionaire is lower middle-class in any way. The complicated stuff I can’t intellectually grasp is nonsense because I say it is. Why would they make it complicated. They’re smarter than that.”
“Wait! You think they’d make the matrix more easy to understand? So like…science is shit. And everything is easy to comprehend? Like…if we can’t grasp it in five minutes of our time it’s impossible?” asks hater d.
“Yes! I think all that science crap is a lie. Like molecules? Yeah right. And atoms? Whatever! If I can’t understand it it doesn’t exist.” says hater c.
“Hey! Guess how much I think her family has made the oil companies who control the matrix? $4 billion.” says hater e.
“Her family has made the oil companies $4 billion from letting Michael Rockefeller have sex with Lacey?” asks hater c.
“You think Michael Rockefeller paid $4 billion to have supernatural sex with Lacey?!” asks hater e.
“Yes!!!” says a female Christian hater. She thinks. “I bet he’d pay my family trillions for me!”
“Nah! You’d get $10 billion.” says hater a. brutally.
“What about the oil though? Doesn’t it seem likely they made the money off the oil?!” asks a perfume hater in agitation.
“That’s a front! For her prostitution ring.” says hater e.
“But there’s oil in the ground they’ve drilled out.” says a Native American woman.
“No there ain’t!” says hater e.
“Billions for the oil companies?!” the Native American woman questions. “Our people have been protesting the pipeline for a reason.”
“Wait! So you do think they’ve made billions for the company or no?” asks hater c. of the Native American woman.
“No! Millions.” says another hater on her behalf.
“But they were making a million a month off one well in 2008.” says Lacey. No. They did not pay her family money for her love for a possible ghost.
“But her family only got 6% of those $2 billion!” says hater c.
“Wait, how many wells were there?” asks hater d.
“There are 24 wells in all or so. But it depends which side of the family you’re talking about.” says Lacey.
“That’s only $120,000,00.00 to that collective family.” says a perfume hater.
“How many more billions are in the ground?” asks the Native American woman.
“Billions!” says a ghost.
“So they’ll get what? Another $2 million?” she says sarcastically before thinking.
“Yup! They’re probably all sitting around high off their asses on that $2 million as it is. You know how it is when white trash wins the lottery.” says hater c.
“They’re not. There were three alcoholics, one drug addled, and an adopted youth who had mental health issues that were criminal. But otherwise no. We’re not like that. We’re quite conservative and cerebral. Even the extreme Liberals.” says Lacey.
“Oh that’s right! That Electoral College bullshit. What even is the Electoral College?” asks hater d..
“It’s a thing. Any white trash bitch could get into the Electoral College through prostitution. I’m sure it’s about who you know.” says a perfume hater.
“Yeah! Exactly! You sleep around! That’s how you get into the Electoral College!” says a perfume company owner. Hopefully she’s not being serious but it’s unclear and Lacey isn’t hopeful.
“Nah! It’s probably just her family’s ties to Harvard University in Boston, Massachusetts.” says a black perfume hater.
“Shut-up darkie!!” yells another white perfume hater.
“Why!? Why should he shut-up, bitch?” asks a black man.
“Oh! How awkward! Darling, I’m famished! Let’s partake in a supper!” randomly says a white perfume hater trying to sound elite.
“No! She’s not being serious! She’s mocking Lacey for her old-school impression of what it means to be rich and sophisticated!” says the perfume hater who called the black man a darkie.
“I thought she was being serious.” says Lacey.
“You would say that! You’re an idiot!” says a bourgeois perfume hater. “I agree with the hater who thinks she’s poor, ugly and stupid. And if she isn’t I can manifest her into being that through magic.”
“I’m going to kill all black people and show everyone my $400 diamond from Kay Jeweler! And my $60 pajamas. And my 1996 hair I think is classic. And my farting issues! And more about my cats. And my mom’s $350,000.00 condo on a lake she got through her con-artist husband. And my drug addiction. And my husband’s $160,000.00 parent’s house I’ll call their ‘property’ to mock Lacey.” says the perfume hater who called the black man darkie. The Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Oh my gosh! We love her!!!” says another white perfume hater about the Loudest Perfume Hater. “She’s our bitch. She’s our best friend of every ever.”
“See! I thought you were that white trash, bigot!” says the Native American woman to Lacey. “Because you seem poorer than me. I’m soo rich! And soo sophisticated. …I’ve got three perfume bottles from 1960 and beadwork from my ancestors that was made in 2019 by a woman I hardly know.” she says. “I’m a expert. At everything. And I talk to ghosts too. And a dead oil baron worth hundreds of millions told me I was his daughter.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” says Lacey.
“Wait! Hold-up! She’s hurting our egos. But she’s a fraud anyway! So, whatever.” yells a white Liberal woman about Lacey.
“How is she a fraud?” asks a white Liberal man.
“Because it’s strange her parents let her think she was poor growing-up! They were uneducated pieces of trailer-trash shit!” says a while Liberal woman.
“Couldn’t they have just been screwed-up?! Or try-hards?!” asks another white Liberal woman.
“They weren’t try-hards. Quite the opposite. They were messed-up.” says Lacey.
“They can’t have been that mean to her!!” says one of the Liberal white women.
“Hey maybe you guys hate her because she’s conservative?!” suggests the Native American woman.
“Noo! No!!!! No!” says the Illuminati Hater pouting. Then turning to his bosses, “That’s not how we’re playing this. Right?!” he asks casually.
“Playing what?” asks Lacey.
Someone rolls their eyes in the Illuminati. “No. He’s confused.” they say to Lacey. She has some confidence that that’s possible.
“I hate her because it’s fun! It makes me feel better about things I’m insecure about. It’s like getting high on drugs. …But don’t tell me her parents are mean. I don’t want to have to have empathy for her.” says a white Gen X woman.
“Yeah! Everyone likes getting high off her supply! Lots of people. It’s like a speedball. You get high and relaxed too. Or Meth. She’s great for a narcissistic hit. Because she cares and has a conscience and lots of admirable qualities that are real.” says a self-labeled gay Millennial man.
“But if everyone is doing it then she must be allowing it. So it’s her fault. Right?” asks a Gen X woman.
“Yeah! Sure! And if her family really is that rich and at least somewhat old-money upper-class as much as it hurts our brains to realize that for a second, then she must be at fault for global warming.” says a white Gen X man. “She controls the oil!”
“In her family?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater who might have been temporarily homeless for a hot minute after buying too much stuff to compete with Lacey on Instagram.
“Yes! I bet she’s in charge of her entire family with the white trash oil!” says a poor perfume hater.
“I’m not.” says Lacey.
“We used demons to kill the two men we thought might be in charge.” says an Illuminati hater. “It looked natural.”
Stanley Kubrick laughs.
“This is why I’m still a white supremacist!” says a white supremacist. “Even if my people killed two old white men they didn’t kill her yet. And if we really are that stupid, why haven’t our black friends told us to shut-up yet?”
“Because they’re scared and they don’t care. Both.” says Lacey.
A black woman shakes her head in agreement with Lacey.
“Why!?! Why are they scared of us? Are we scary?!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Sweetie, anyone is scary behind a loaded gun.” says Lacey. “Do you want to destroy the Earth to get rid of anyone or anything that threatens your ego at all?” asks Lacey.
“I don’t know what the Loudest Perfume Hater’s problem is, but I’m gay. Wanna have missionary style sex?” the self-labeled gay man asks, seemingly seriously. “I want your pussy! …But I’m gay. So no. Don’t think I want you. That’s stupid.” He closes his eyes. Blinks. Thinks. Aroused he continues, “I just think you’re mean.” he concludes, enraged.
“She is mean. She’s a mean girl.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Who’s this gay man in love with you?!” asks a perfume hater’s wife to Lacey, accusingly. “You seduced him you ugly, white trash whore.”
“Seduced who? Your husband?” asks a gay perfume hater of the perfume hater’s wife.
The perfume hater’s wife posts another heavily photoshopped photo of her body and face. “My husband?! No. He’s madly in love with me. We’re twin flames. Our marriage and life is perfect.” She turns to her husband and stares accusingly. “You commented once on a photo of her’s that she was beautiful!” The woman seethes. “You flew to America and slept with her in my sleep. Right?! Or no? You sexted her?! Daily for years?! You’re in love and you’re to leave me!”
“No!! Nothing like that happened! It was just that comment and once he corrected a mistake I made about a vintage mini bottle. And he tried to sell me an opened bottle of Chanel No. 22 while buying you a sealed bottle from the same source while making sure to point that out. While that was still my signature. …And he unfollowed me. Before that. …Before he then turned around and in likely disrespect tried to sell me something. And you snubbed me for no reason. …And you both seemed hostile, insecure and pretentiously snobby. I don’t hate you and your seemingly entirely faux old money posse but you’re obnoxious people to me.” says Lacey.
“I love them!!! He’s gay and closeted like me!” says a man who pretends to be Middle-Eastern old-money in the perfume community.
“You guys! This is dumb! We’re the elite! Not this sad, middle-class white trash woman. It’s like she’s a poor Real Housewife.” says a black politician. He’s a cool-kid.
“See…he’s why I hate black people!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Whatever! Everyone is stupid but me! …Although, sometimes I’m stupid too…I guess?” says the politicians wife…with a lack of self-awareness akin to the other trophy wives she can sometimes secretly be similar to, despite her intelligence
“We are on the same side!” says the black politician to the Loudest Perfume Hater.
By demon-power, like a speed boat in the ocean, she shakes her head. She feels numb and happy. “Okay! Maybe!” she says. “Just tell me what to do!”
“Lacey, have the Uncle Tom’s attacked you?” a black man asks.
“Yes! But they don’t think they’re traitors. They think they’re smart.” says Lacey. “I feel bad for the kids of people like that.”
“Well, if they’re that easy to control then they don’t pose you too much threat if God is greater than the Devil.” says a white supremacist.
“But I worship God. Does the Loudest Perfume Hater?” asks Lacey.
“Not enough.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater. “If He’s that powerful.”
“I don’t trust black people. I don’t hate them. But I don’t trust them. Because they organize with evil black men thinking they’re all exactly the same. And they’re not. Or if they are then what happened in Flint with Obama was just black on black evil. Nothing more. Because he was President, very powerful and rich.” says a young white man.
“No. We don’t all think we’re all on the same page!” says a black woman about her people.
“Didn’t your family cast an Electoral College vote for Obama?!” asks a white perfume hater who thinks she’s a very big deal. Sort of. Her $1 house on the West Coast means she’s infinitely socially superior to Lacey in her mind. And after reading that she says, “Whatever! Your family is poor because they don’t exist on the West Coast.”
The Loudest Perfume Hater laughs.
“I feel sorry for her! She’s my religion.” says a hater in the Illuminati about the West Coast Expert. “Let’s demonically use her again to threaten Lacey!!!”
“You can’t demonically use me!!” shouts the West Coast woman in question. And yes, she did look up the Electoral College on Wikipedia.
“You can’t honorably go against the rules.” says Lacey about why her cousin cast her vote for Obama.
“And by the way, my wife and I aren’t stupid!” says the black politician.
“It does seem like they see the illogical idiocy of the situation as much as I do at times in certain ways. At least I hope they do.” says Lacey about the black politician and his wife.
“And that’d be the ideal of the Illuminati. Should it exist. Lacey’s family casts a vote for Obama. And due to how the spiritual system would possibly function…their conscience affects the Obamas.” says Louis. “But that requires the presence of Christianity. And the Obamas have to be intelligent enough. And if they are it clicks, so to speak.”
“So the weakest link isn’t just about crass things. It’s also about God?” asks a skeptic.
“I can tell you one thing. You all do need to stop trying to sadistically bully her psychologically into being anything but heterosexual.” says the black politician in regard to Lacey. “She really is heterosexual as far as I can tell. …Truly. Honestly. Sincerely. For real yo. Legit. Valid!”
“What power do we have casting our votes, if the Illuminati exists?” asks a perfume hater.
“No. I want to know how much like JFK Obama really is.” says another white perfume hater.
“Like is he a tall, slim, glib and a charismatic possible bisexual? Married to a stylish woman?” asks Lacey. “Mysterious, Harvard educated, a Democrat? Supposedly new and different? A complex person psychologically?”
“Are the Obama’s nice?” asks a perfume hater.
“No. They’re shrewd, calculating, and highly intelligent. They can be nice. They seem to be very rational and resilient. …I think they sold-out, if they did, because it made sense, seemingly.” says Lacey.
“So they are nice? Or they can be nice?” asks a hater.
“They are complex. They can be nice.” says Lacey. “Nice people can be complex. But in their case they’re just solely complex.”
“They sound terrifying!” says a hater.
“Why the heck did the elites delve into witchcraft?!” asks a mostly lesbian woman who has occasionally delved into witchcraft.
“I suspect they felt pushed into it to some degree. Like a if they didn’t someone else would sort of a thing.” says Lacey.
“And you’re both within and without to some degree.” says a perfume hater to Lacey. “Do you hide your wealth?!” he asks her.
“Yup! We want the passwords to all you accounts. And keys to the meeting rooms they hold the meetings in.” says a perfume hater to Lacey.
“Your votes probably have some spiritual significance. But true ignorance does matter to God too, seemingly.” says Lacey. “And I don’t see why praying over your votes wouldn’t be useful too in a Christian sense.”
“Okay. So, I’m sorry for being racist!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater. “Why does Lacey’s paltry share of the family money from oil seem so high to the other perfume haters? And honestly, where did the $20,000.00 come from?” she asks Lacey.
“I wanna know what else she knows about all of us!” says another perfume hater.
“The $20,000.00 was just what was left over from my paternal grandfather’s estate. He retired in the 1980’s, had a wife with chronic health problems, and by 2003 that’s all he had left.” says Lacey.
“So how much did he retire with?” asks a seething perfume hater.
“In 1986?” asks Lacey.
“Did he sell the farm?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“No. He did not sell the farm. He was just that good at business and it was that big of a farm. He retired with about 1,200,000.00. About $3 million today.” says Lacey.
“He had closer to $4 million. In 2022 money.” says another perfume hater.
“Yeah, whatever! She’s making it all up!” says an Illuminati hater who does commercials.
The perfume hater’s wife laughs. “How much are you really worth?” she asks the Illuminati hater just referenced.
“Whatever. People age and a coke habit is a lot more expensive than perfume.” says her husband.
“True.” she says.
“Lacey, where did the $20,000.00 come from?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater suspiciously.
“My grandfather was a successful businessman.” says Lacey.
“Then why didn’t you have a trust fund?” she asks. “And what was his business!?”
“Is this the woman the original Illuminati haters listened to to figure you out?” asks a Christian hater.
“Yes!” says Lacey to the Christian hater. “Farming was his business.” she says to the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“He made that much money farming?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater, incredulously.
“Back in the 1900’s you could make decent money off farming. It’s a lot more difficult today.” says Lacey.
“When did your grandfather buy his farm?” she asks Lacey as if she’s about to catch her lying.
“So they bought the thousands of acres of land in the late 1800’s, early 1900’s knowing it has oil?!” asks the lesbian former witch.
“Okay, so there are the original farms from the late 1800’s/early 1900’s. But my grandfather bought more land in the 1940’s.” says Lacey to the Loudest Perfume Hater. “And yes, I suspect my great grandmother knew there was oil when she picked the land. Or at least they knew shortly afterwards.”
“Was one of your relatives interviewed by CNN during the oil boom?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Yes! And now he’s dead. He was very kind. Very intelligent. Well-bred and well informed. He was a great investor in the Stock Market, as was his father. He grew-up with wealthy parents. But he liked to portray himself as a farmer at heart.” says Lacey
“How much money did his family have? And why did your grandfather buy a farm in the 1940’s?!” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater angrily. Accusatorially.
“My cousin who died?” asks Lacey. “His father was roughly worth about $3 million by the 1960’s in today’s money.” says Lacey. “And my grandfather bought more land in the 1940’s because his older brother inherited the farm he grew-up on.”
“She’s lying!!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater to her audience as if she’s proven her point to absolute perfection.
“Wait! So in the 1950’s that man, who was your great uncle was worth a million? In today’s money? Or?” asks another hater of Lacey.
“I don’t know. My cousin told me my great uncle was a literal millionaire by the 1960’s. Maybe my inflation calculation is way off.” says Lacey. “Maybe they were worth $10 million in today’s money in the 1960’s.”
“Your grandfather only had $1 million in 1986!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“What is your problem?!” an Illuminati member asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“That woman is just jaded!” an American black perfume collector says in the Loudest Perfume Hater’s defense.
“I doubt that.” says Lacey to the black American perfume hater.
“Why do you think Lacey is lying?” asks a woman of the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“It’s in her every syllable. Her every calculated expression. I can feel it in my bones!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Except what has she said that isn’t true?” asks another woman.
“Whatever. You pick!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Do you have a mental health issue?” someone asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“I might be a clinical narcissist. With serious mental health issues.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“And you think those mental health issues are why you aren’t prettier and more old-money?” someone asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“I’m not that fucking stupid! I know I’m full of shit. So does Lacey. But she’s straight. And honestly, why did you guys expect me to think like a healthy person? That’s so juvenile. You guys are the embarrassing ones.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Please! I want to hear more about how gay Lacey is!! Please!!!” begs a ghost, a few demons and possibly a few Illuminati haters of the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Are you guys serious?” the Loudest Perfume Hater asks.
“Yes!! They’re serious!” yells the professor at the Loudest Perfume Hater. “And no, she’s not interested in females. At all. Sorry. I know that part and that’s the truth. I almost dated her and I’m a man.”
“Why didn’t it work out?” the Loudest Perfume Hater asks the professor.
He laughs. “Honestly, I think she could be in love with dead men. But she also thought I was possibly a jerk, I think. And she just didn’t want to get hurt again.”
“Well, I hate her!” the Loudest Perfume Hater impulsively declares.
“I think she’s on to something. Just hear her out!” says the original Illuminati hater about the Loudest Perfume Hater. And he’s mostly being serious.
“Why are you using her? Why not listen in on my private thoughts? Or whatever it is that you people do?” asks a perfume hater of the original Illuminati hater.
“Because I like her thoughts.” says the original Illuminati hater about the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“What do you like about her thoughts?” the perfume hater asks the original Illuminati hater.
“Ewww!” says the perfume hater.
“Why eww?” asks Lacey.
“It’s sexual!! Lacey, he likes her sexually.” says the other perfume hater to Lacey.
Lacey thinks. “It could be. But I doubt he’s honest about it. And it’s certainly not safe.”
“Why isn’t it safe?” asks a man.
“It’s like they’re opening a black hole if anything should transpire.” says Lacey.
“Could it harm anyone?” the man asks.
“Yes! Space.” says Lacey.
“God will handle it!” says a woman. “You can’t be expected to be the only supervising adult alive if he was allowed to get away with things that are metaphysically dangerous.”
“Who in the Illuminati gave him more authority spiritually than he can handle?” asks a perfume hater.
“Semi well-intentioned Liberals with an enormous amount of money. Possibly some Republicans. Sadly, mostly Democrats.” says Lacey.
“Well intentioned?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Yes. There’s been many lies poured into our hearts and minds for decades now.” says Lacey.
“Why?” asks the Christian hater.
“You mean they’re fooled too?” asks a hater about the elite.
“Yes! Some drank their own Kool-Aid and the others were forced to drink it as children.” says Lacey.
“So who sold them out?” asks a perfume hater.
“Who sold out the soul of American Democrats?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah!” says a perfume hater.
“You know what’s sad!? The most brilliant woman I’ve ever known of is the one defending children.” says a white male Illuminati hater.
“Why is that sad? Because you’re so rich and you’re not? Or what? You’re more evil than God? Or what? You‘re God Himself? I’m waiting to hear your sob story.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“I’m better!” he says simply. “But I’m also too complicated to comprehend. And too evil. And rich. And sad. And yet I’m God.”
“Are you sure as a human you want to proclaim yourself God?” a Christian asks him.
He shakes. “No, I’m not having a seizure. I’m human.”
“That makes no sense!” yells the Loudest Perfume at the man.
“Am I in Hell?” he asks.
“Before the above scenario happens you should pray for God to save you through His Son’s sacrifice on the cross.” says Lacey.
“I’ve obliterated Christianity pretty well lately. But try to figure out what she means, I guess.” says a demon.
“God protects Children!” says Lacey.
“Weren’t you molested?!” someone asks her accusingly.
“Yes! There’s a lot of evil in the world. But if He’s a loving God and not a demon of pedophilia, and He is a loving God if He exists, then Christian Karma…is waiting. Otherwise we should just pray to God and ask Michael to be able to kill all pedophiles and narcissistic people in their sleep if they aren’t safe. But if someone dies after you pray that don’t assume they were a pedophile.” says Lacey.
A psychic screams bloody murder. Then he realizes the Earth is overpopulated. And pedophiles might often rather be dead. And dying in one’s sleep would be better than dying from the the other many things that could kill people. And he suspects Michael is like Santa Claus and has a list, so to speak.
“Probably a delightfully effective and efficient efficient list.” he says.
“Yes, but even if it works for…30 million people don’t assume if a relative dies in the near future that they were a pedophile.” says a woman.
“And God might be waiting to kill some evil people for a minute or two longer.” says a demon. “I love killing people possibly going to Hell. You know, it’s fun for me. Makes me feel…like I accomplished something because God loved them. But I also know how much God hates evil. So it’s fun watching them get scared. I find you all fascinating and yet so different from myself.”
“So what’s the problem?!” says the original Illuminati hater.
“What’s the problem?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater’s friend.
“Did you see what happened at the soccer match?!” asks the friend.
“That has nothing to do spiritually with anything. We control the arts and sciences. Not sports.” he says.
“Are you sure about that?!” asks a perfume hater.
“Is that so?” says another man to him.
He goes quiet.
“Is that why the Kennedy’s played so much touch football?” a man asks cheerfully.
“Like they were trying to get away from the Illuminati?” asks another man.
“Forest Gump!” says yet another man, seriously.
“How pretty are you?” someone asks the Illuminati hater.
He smiles and shrugs.
“Wait! I wanna get this right. Pray and ask Michael to kill evil people who maybe should die? Or pray to God and ask Him to enable Michael to kill them? Or pray and ask God to use Michael’s list? Or pray and let God do whatever variation of that He wishes?” asks a perfume hater.
“The last one. Whichever combination of those God, the father of Jesus, so chooses.” says Lacey.
“Lacey-“ A woman laughs. “I’m not sure God is happy about how some people sing about Jesus either.”
“You have no idea how excited I am to kill possibly Christians who genuinely try to rape Jesus.” says a demon who helped kill Jews in Birkenau. “It could be almost like the Holocaust. Except this time it’s a Christian. Right?!” He hysterically laughs.
“But what if someone doesn’t realize-“ starts a Christian hater who then realizes he’s not truly trying to rape Jesus. He feels bad.
“So supposed saints who misunderstand Christianity and think Jesus is their husband…hopefully don’t go to Purgatory or Hell?” asks a Catholic.
“I think Christianity has been grossly heretical in that way, possibly. But that’s why Episcopalians are necessary, possibly.” says Lacey. “If it’s sexual then the Christian Church can’t exist in my estimation.”
“We’re wondering if there are saints who accidentally consorted with demons too?” asks a Catholic.
“The relationship between Christ and humans even en masse can’t be sexual. God can’t have sex with His children or He isn’t God. He’s a joke.” says Lacey.
“So…it’s a metaphor. A real metaphor.” says a ghost.
“No! Jews didn’t believe in incest or pedophilia.” says a Jew for a historical context.
“That’s why it was a metaphor. It was supposed to be obvious Christ loved the church. Not that He actually was sexually in love with the church.” says Lacey.
“So…that was possibly pure metaphor?!” asks a theologian. “And yet there could be sex in Heaven?”
“Why have we never realized that at large as a church?” asks Lacey
“Some Episcopalians actually have!” says a man in England.
“Why is that ignored?!” asks Lacey.
“It’s dangerous!” they reply.
“It’s not obvious?!” scoffs a female hater at Lacey. “They allow their priests to get married.”
“True. But those are possibly unrelated things. And it’s non-denominational Christians who sing those songs the most.” says Lacey.
“Do non-denominational church leaders allow marriage?” the Gen Z woman asks.
“Yes.” says Lacey.
“There’s only a few non-denominational Christians in America. Right?” the sadly English woman says. “What’s the main church in the US? And like, it’s not common anywhere else. Right?” she asks a person she hopes is smarter than Lacey.
“It’s very common in the US. And Africa. And Asia. And South America.” says a black man.
The woman goes quiet.
“Do you think we could go to Hell for being blasphemous about Christ?” asks the Christian hater of the black man.
“How would one do that?” asks the Illuminati hater.
“I don’t know. I’ve studied it and I don’t know.” the Christian hater admits.
The Illuminati hater rolls his eyes.
“So is the Church of England the only true Christian Church? Or do some Catholics get it right? Maybe it’s not that Christianity is bad. Maybe it’s the evil that’s worked it’s way dogmatically through interpretation into the faith that’s made people suffer?” suggests an Asian woman.
“Accurately interpreting the Bible is extremely difficult. And it’s why the Holy Spirit has to help keep people out of Hell.” says Lacey.
“I would never trust a theological ruling on Hell right now either.” says an Illuminati member to Lacey.
“One thing I want to know, why do you go on and on about the material blessings in your family?” asks an Englishman of Lacey. “Why the flippant, oblivious tone?”
“To be belligerent and humorous.” says Lacey.
“No!! It’s not!” demands a hater.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m telling you. It’s to be belligerent and humorous.” says Lacey.
“If you’re that good of a person then I’m pure shit! Because I’m very bourgeois.” she says.
“Why is that my moral dilemma?” asks Lacey.
“I’m in charge of you! I’m you. You’re nothing. And all your money is mine. And I could be the Queen. Easily. And I should be. But because I never will be we should get rid of the Aristocracy. We have no need for them. God is non-denominational. And He doesn’t exist.” she says seriously.
“He doesn’t exist?” asks the Christian hater. “And Lacey, thinking mean thoughts about people behind their backs is part of the psychology of being an adult!”
“No. That’s just being two-faced. Or passive aggressive. Or just angry. Or ignorant. Or all of those things.” says Lacey.
The Christian hater cries. Then he calms himself. “I’m sorry. You were mean!” he yells at Lacey.
“How?” she asks.
“Because he was so nice to you!” says a Christian female he’s friends with.
“She’s demonic as Hell! Belligerent and successful my ass! I’d like the ability provided me by the Illuminati to molest kids. I feel bad for the Illuminati. You’re an ignorant Catholic, demonic whore!” says a Christian who has a crush on the Christian hater to Lacey.
“How was I mean?” asks Lacey.
“You didn’t like my attempts to flirt with you. You criticized them on your blog.” says the Christian hater.
“That’s true. You did!” says a female friend of his.
“She did that as a seduction technique!” says another woman. He laughs in response at Lacey, thinking that’s funny.
“You seemed obtuse.” says Lacey. “And to the haters: no. Pedophilia is entirely wrong and pedophilia is psychotic too.”
“Obtuse to what?” he asks.
“Obtuse about people’s suffering.” says Lacey.
“I wanted to kill myself! Isn’t that as bad as it can get? No one could be sadder or more profoundly lonely than me?” he wonders.
“I don’t know. But I kind of doubt you’re the height of all sadness. Either way, that’s a dangerous assumption.” says Lacey. “I’m sorry. I’ll pray for you. And I mean that kindly.”
“She is hot. And she is irritated by hurtful things. Not narcissistically hurtful but genuinely so.” says Michael.
“Was she trying to seduce him?” asks a hater.
“Who are you really?!” the Christian hater asks the entity that has been labeling himself Michael.
“She was, but not in the way you think.” Michael says to the woman hater.
“Oh! She was confronting him to get closer. Women do that when they’re either trying to be deep or are deep.” says the professor.
“How does he know?!” the Christian hater thinks. And then he realizes that the professor almost dated her after she’d expressed a lack of interest openly in him. “Did you ever talk to him in person?” he asks accusatorially.
“On the phone.” she says.
“For how long?”
“We talked for hours. A few times.” says Lacey.
“But it wasn’t overtly sexual?” the Christian hater asks.
“He made his interest known. But no, not luridly so.” says Lacey.
“When were you lurid with me?” he asks accusatorially.
“I don’t think I ever was, really. Maybe slightly? Maybe facetiously? But it was what I wrote on this blog knowing you might be reading.” says Lacey. “Never anything to you directly.”
“You never winked at me?” he asks.
“I don’t recall ever winking? Was that someone else?” she asks.
“You’ve winked on this blog. And I thought that was flirting with me.” he says.
“Yes! But those are likely never flirtatious.” says Lacey.
“Then are you challenging people to death if they’re evil?” he asks.
“Do you want me to tell you?” says Michael. “Who do you think I am? Which demonic entity? Name me.”
“Lucifer?” he says.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel rejected. I wasn’t trying to reject you. I doubt we worked together anyway though. It’s probably for the best that we aren’t together. The things about me you liked hopefully you can find in someone else.” says Lacey.
“You did say you found me attractive?” he asks.
“Yes! Of course!” says Lacey.
“You didn’t even know the professor when you decided we didn’t work.” says the Christian hater.
“True.” says Lacey.
“I’m probably a better hearted person than you think, I hope.” he says.
“Aren’t you curious who Michael is?” asks Lacey.
“I’m…Michael Rockefeller.” Michael says.
“Are you aware of what goes on on Tik Tok about you?” the Christian hater asks.
“I might be.” he says jokingly.
“You know, humorous how?” an Englishman asks Lacey.
“Have you ever seen the film Liar Liar? It’s that concept. The thing is…I couldn’t tell what people thought of me in the perfume community. So I decided to be overly open.” says Lacey. “As a joke. And just see what would happen.”
“But that’s so rude!” says a different Christian hater who prides himself on being poor.
“Yes! But it’s like the film Liar Liar.” says Lacey.
“You’ve never seen the film?” says the Christian hater to Lacey.
“No, I’ve seen it several times.” says Lacey.
The Loudest Hater laughs.
“And you don’t have a personality disorder?” asks an Englishman.
“No. I’m just very depressed by how vile life is nowadays. It’s disgusting. Although obviously I care about people.” says Lacey.
“She’s not a murderer.” says a school shooter who didn’t go to Hell.
“Were you ever condescending or just silly?” asks a hater.
“Silly.” says Lacey.
“You know $3 million isn’t that much money.” says Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Are you thinking about killing me and stealing the money?” asks Lacey.
“Do you think I should?” she says in a seductive voice.
Lacey rolls her eyes. Sighs. “You never took my advice. I told you so many perfumes to buy. And you never listened. How about I say no? But will no mean no to you? Because no means no to me.”
“Woo! She’s interested in you!” says an Illuminati hater. The Loudest Hater is polite in response z
“Lacey, are the Kennedy’s the Kennedy’s anymore?” an Illuminati hater asks her.
“No. They’re not. They are in name and genetics. And in heart maybe too. But they’ve changed.” she suggests.
“What’s different about them?” someone asks.
“After Joe Jr. died they ceased to be who they purported to be. His…attitude lived on. In his siblings. But he was dead. And Joe Sr. was never the same. And no…it’s been slowly revealed that he died in the following decades.” says Lacey
“Wait, you think they genuinely acted like he’d never died in some creepy way?” asks a woman.
“Yes! Because he was their eldest son. Their shining hope. And I think they had to pretend to keep the momentum going.” says Lacey.
“So they used Lem to fill in the void.” says someone. “And it worked. But it’s unclear how much he realized it was his job, so to speak.”
“He did think his place in the family was undervalued though, I suspect.” says someone.
“Was Joe Jr.’s place in the family undervalued as much as he was loved?” asks Lacey.
“Maybe.” A woman laughs. “Do you think Lem thought he was Joe?”
“He might have. Not likely with any ill intent though.” says Lacey.
“What would the intent have been?” someone asks.
“Just to be a good person.” Lacey wonders.
“Did he realize he was being someone else?!” a lady asks.
“No. But he got into the role, a bit I think.” says Lacey.
“Like he was the last resort understudy. The tall, handsome jock. Somewhat sensitive. Possibly conservative. Tough.” says a women.
“Yes! And if straight he could have pulled as many many women as Joe Jr.. But I think, if straight, he was very secretive. Very romantic, sad, and serious. And he genuinely wanted love.” says Lacey.
“Who could write him?” asks an author.
“Ironically and hilariously as much I’ve criticized her, Edith Wharton.” says Lacey.
“Could Steinbeck?” asks someone else.
“No. It requires snowy terrain to make his beauty as a human show.” says Lacey.
“What about your great granduncle?” asks an intellectual.
“Almost. But Lem was American old-money. And Edith Wharton wrote about nature and his people so romantically. Even if I disagree with some of her assessments.” says Lacey.
“Your great granduncle might have become stuffy a tinge over the years, and he was likely brilliant but he was still a Norwegian Immigrant.” says a man. “He knew men of old-money and had a sense of who they were but he didn’t know what Edith Wharton knew.”
Edith Wharton cries about Lem’s character.
“If your great granduncle spent more time observing Lem could he have captured him?” a man asks.
“Yes, but it’d be a cutting masterpiece.” says Lacey.
“Could he write about your life?” someone asks.
“My great granduncle?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” says Louis arriving. From the outdoors covered in snow. He too is a rare figure in winter.
“Yes. I think he could have.” says Lacey.
“Your Great Granduncle died thirteen years too soon to meet you.” he says.
“Are you at peace with going to Hell?” the Christian hater hears himself saying to Lacey.
“If that’s where the Heavenly Father who I have unconditional love for as a daughter and trust in wanted to send me I’d be grateful.” she says.
He laughs uproariously. A girl who bullies him and eggs him on to bully others says, “I mean, come on! Like she’s a bitch, yo. Look at her crap face. And watch me shake my ass!”
“Hehehe! She’s obsessed with us!” says his most toxic roommate
who would rather be having sex with dozens of women with almost no personality if possible. Then he could die and stop hating himself. Thank goodness he believes in God. Or he’d be dead.
“You think my friends and I are narcissists.” says the Christian hater self-righteously.
“That’s what you all came across as, mostly.” says Lacey. “But a lot of Gen Z seems like that. I’m sorry, but you all put a lot of labels on other people. And some of what you say is very insightful and aware and some of it is ignorant and obnoxious.” says Lacey.
“I feel like you should have just rejected her instead of trying to play games with her head.” says his female friend.
“You just flirt with that girl because you’ve never had sex and she seems easy. I hope if you decide to marry her that you’ll lose your smug expression and start caring about other people more.” says Michael.
“You don’t think we have real chemistry?” he asks Michael.
“I’ve seen a lot of marriages like yours. Two young, inexperienced people get married and they expect to fall in love after the marriage. Don’t wait to kiss her. If she’s not your type that’s not okay. Make sure you’re in love.” says Michael.
“Wait!! My marriage?!“ he says. Then he recalls that Michael is dead and God could be letting him see what could be.
“Just be careful! And don’t despair if you find yourself miserable after your marriage. You might not be as heartless as I’ve experienced you as being. I’ll pray for you.” says Lacey. “Seek God!”
“I just felt really insecure around Lacey.” says the Illuminati hater.
“Her intelligence was off-putting?” asks Michael.
“Yes!” he responds. “She’s got a lot of intelligence. And it’s just abrasive to interact with.”
“No! She’s hot. Whatever. I just can’t handle it either.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“You two are both narcissistic people. Is that why you find her intelligence abrasive?” asks a voice that narrated things in 1950’s.
“Yes and no.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Most men find it offensive today.” says Michael.
“Why?” asks a woman. “I would think it’s easier now?”
“Because men expect women to be smart now. But they don’t crave depth.” says Michael.
“Was that different back then?” asks an actor.
“Yes! Men weren’t as easily threatened. It’s sad to watch how scared and stupid you all have been.” says Michael.
“So if I keep attacking her for the rest of my off…after everyone dies…I’ll win. And outsmart her in a satisfying way! And then she capitulate that I’m Superman!” He looks faint in a windbreaker. “Flyboy! For the win!”
“Are you talking about Joe Jr.?” asks Lacey.
He closes his eyes. Bobs his head to imaginary music. “And that’s it. I’m a pilot.”
“In Heaven someday?” asks Lacey.
He stares at her like she’s stupid for asking such a question.
“I was never Joe Jr.. Turns out I like ice cream.” he says.
“What are the thoughts between those two thoughts?” asks Lacey.
He laughs patronizingly. Smiles. “I flew a plane and ate ice cream! And no, you’re right. Sin is wrong. It’s just wrong.”
“I hope you are able to be forgiven by God. And I hope I am as well.” she says.
“I hope we’re Christians too.” he says.
“Do you want to get away from your haters by going all the way to Hell if it doesn’t separate you from God’s love at all?” asks a hater.
“Have a nice night. Don’t beat your kids because you’re narcissistically embarrassed. Or you’ll wish you’d never been born, potentially.”
“We know that you stupid, petty, poor, ugly, white, stupid bitch!” says a hater. “I’d have shit myself in the head with a knife to you if you were my child!”
“Where am I?” asks Lacey.
“Superville.” says the Illuminati hater placidly.
“Do you get out?” asks Lacey.
“The idea is that they let us out on good behavior.” says the hater.
“Yuck! This is a stupid place. I think it exists? Huh?” says a woman.
“But it’s Purgatory?” asks Lacey.
“Yes. And yeah, Heaven exists.” she says forlornly. She cries.
“Well, do your best to worship God!” says Lacey.
She prays to God as she leaves.
“I smell apples!!” saythe Illuminati hater says. “Boom!”