I have in-laws who don’t like me. But they’re also the sort of people who probably wouldn’t have been keen on almost any young lady who tried to marry my husband. Nobody was ever going to be good enough. My step-mother-in-law even told me once about how weird my husband’s ex was because (she was watching her from a window in their lake-house) the ex-girlfriend picked a bouquet of wild flowers around the property and then neglected to give them to her as a gift; instead throwing them on the ground outside before returning.
When I first met my in-laws I worked at Macy’s and had met my husband the year before while working at a coffee shop. They were appalled. Despite whatever I told them about myself they were convinced I was a sort of “cheap floozie” since I hadn’t finished college or started my career yet and was still working at “peasant jobs” like coffee shops and Macy’s while sleeping with their son and living at his apartment. Oh! And because he’d taken me on vacations.
Actually, when my husband did try to tell them about my real background they either ignored it and whatever other evidence provided (my father-in-law), decided I was lying or as my step-mother-in-law did they accused my entire family of being criminals and thieves with other people’s money. (?) Nothing could be further from the truth and the amount of righteous indignation I felt and still feel about her narcissistic accusations is sometimes overwhelming.
But oh no, nobody could have actually made their money through intelligence and hard work in my family. (For generations) Her firm belief was that her step-son was the brilliant one in the relationship and I could not possibly be anything more than a blonde bubble-head after his money. And so my entire family had to be fit into that version of reality or she would have insisted I was an alien from outer-space raised on a spaceship. (Maybe someday that won’t even be hyperbole the way things are going.) …Well, or the money we have in our family was due to sheer dumb luck. Cheap class. …She and her failed first marriage, Tennessee state school degree and career as a baby-wipe saleswoman before marrying my financier father-in-law (almost a decade her senior). But they were superior in her mind. Yes. Superior to- Never-mind. I’ve already told you about all of that. At least somewhat.
We barely see them. And if they read this blog, and they’ve never admitted to that although I suspect they might, they probably genuinely hate me by now. Not that, again, anyone will openly admit to any of that, of course. We all pretend to get along for the sake of my husband and my kids. At least I do it for that reason.
The thing is, objectively, my family is actually above them socio-economically overall. And nobody in the family is a criminal of course and I’m not a “floozie”. Ever have been… *rolling eye* Soo…could their unprovoked attack over the last ten years be covering up for insecurity??? God only knows.
But…my in-laws are truly wealthy. Not as wealthy as some people. They have an expensive lake house and a home worth over a million to start… But on the other hand I have a very genuinely humble, keenly intelligent and extremely hard-working uncle who built a lovely $3 million house and basically gave it away to one of his kids after his wife died. (Yes. I’m angry so I had to get that in. *smile*) But really, my in-laws are definitely wealthy. And they’re the sort who like to have all the trappings that announce that fact to others. The right clothes, cars, clubs, houses, friends, schools, events, beliefs, servants, food…travel…etc. Etc.
They’re agnostic, if not atheists, and fairly liberal socially (of course). My father-in-law hates Donald Trump. Passionately. And so (again) it’s odd how they felt the need to start “slut-shaming” me for being with their son before we were married (we lived together) and drew huge self-serving conclusions about me before they knew me almost at all. Quickly made them. As in I played Monopoly badly at the Thanksgiving where my husband intended to introduce me to everyone and my father-in-law glared at me and decided I was mentally defective. My grandfather-in-law hates my handwriting and thinks it’s “illegible” (he’s said that) and I’m sure he uses that as proof he’s my ultimate superior too. Most people compliment my handwriting. *shrug* But…I mean…I worked as a barista so I guess that clinches it?? *shrug*
But they remind me of a lot of some of the people I met on Instagram who did indeed pretend to either be my (obvious duh *rolling eyes*) superior (there are a lot of superior people in the world today that I keep running into it seems?) but then used my exact words or ideas as their own because they actually secretly respected me…or the other folks who are so filled with blind hatred and rage that nothing can be said or done to convince them that every (genuinely) stupid idea that comforts them about me is not God’s ultimate truth. It’s impossible. *shrug*
Funny thing is, I have family now who maybe don’t believe my in-laws “exist”. I mean, they probably think they’re real humans, but I’ve told them numerous times about their wealth and status in polite ways over the years and yet they don’t seem to entirely believe it. *laughing* I try to explain what my father-in-law does and they seem less than impressed. And these are sometimes individual folks who aren’t as technically “impressive” as my in-laws and some who are, I guess… But no, regardless, I must be exaggerating about my in-laws or perhaps my father-in-law is some kind of glorified accountant? A fake, middle-class sort of low-level “CEO”? And my step-mother-in-law in all her country club, philanthropic glory is merely his shabby second wife with mental problems from the impoverished south. They do know how mean she’s been to me though… And that likely doesn’t help…
But…the truly funny thing is, if all of these people were to meet each other they’d likely all approve of each other and decide everyone was ” ok”. *huge cheesy grin* For example, some people in my family hate Donald Trump and some don’t. I’d bet the ones who hate him would find my father-in-law’s politics pleasant and he’d be charmed by their occasional blue blooded quirks and manners. And I’m sure my father-in-law would also be impressed enough by the others that’d he decide I’m not just a backward housewife from the Midwest who didn’t finish college. And perhaps those in my family who have doubted would decide he isn’t totally imaginary after all. And yet, foolishly, my husband and I didn’t have a wedding so we could avoid drama.
Why are people like that? Why does everybody want to alter reality so much? Deny reality. Deny anything threatening. And no, it’s not all dear Donny’s fault. That silly orange man. That silly man who isn’t President. Not really. Just on tv. Just on our cell phones. Just as long as the “smart guys” at the “smart pages” say he can be. Just until the end of the show. It’ll be over soon right?
Meanwhile, I’m hoping I’ll someday get along better with my in-laws. *sigh* Maybe that will never happen though, sadly. I’m also hoping people stop trying to silence me. Someday. It’d be nice. *shrug* Just because I’m not fooled easily or forever and just because I have a backbone and get tired of people’s nonsense and just because I’m both smart and pretty doesn’t mean I’m your problem. Is there even a problem other than ubiquitous denial these days?
And there I go.