Rose Gipsy

When the antique dealer looking for the vintage Baccarat L’Heure Bleue gets in contact with us I’ll buy my unopened bottle. Right now the opened bottle is used almost daily…

Thing is though it’s almost too personal to wear so frequently. During the summer I’ll likely wrap it up carefully and put it in the permanently cool basement. We’ve thought of putting a wine cellar down there and maybe we will someday… We’ll see.

I just bought a bottle from Dior. It’s a rose. I considered MFK À La Rose but I prefer the more effeminate Dior Rose Gipsy. I also considered Aerin Rose de Grasse but that beauty has an aesthetic I appreciate profusely but can’t wear as a personal expression. And I’ll wear my new Dior frequently this summer. It’ll be my summer 2021 in a bottle…

I saw a comedian post something hilarious on Instagram today about his expectations in regard to relationships. It reminds me of a realization I’m currently having about my own relationships romantic and otherwise. I frequently make allowances for people when I know they’re needing them and I’m not going to stop doing that but I’ve almost always taken it too far… If someone genuinely leaves me questioning their sincerity and feeling rejected or unsure if I can trust them when I’m not able to keep on a happy face and be strong for them I’m not going to just keep trying. I need to focus on making this adjustment.

Most people who I’ve tried to “be strong for” other than my kids and ex-husband haven’t seemingly even appreciated my attempts anyway. I think they thought/think they were/are entitled indefinitely and if I ever happen to fall apart it’s evil and/or wrong somehow or not real and not their problem. Or they don’t realize what I’m doing in the first place.

I am their mommy. I am their nanny. I am their aunt. Their teacher. Their babysitter. Their servant. Certainly not their equal… Definitely not someone who needs their empathy. *rolling eyes*

And so I’ll wear Rose Gipsy. I’ll wear it this summer and let things fall apart here and there I guess… It’s sad but it’s time. My kids need a mom who isn’t being drained by babysitting adults who don’t care anyway.