In the afterlife as described in the Bible is it possible that Pat Wilson is throwing a party? A party with LED lights? 30 miles of LED lights strung from a trailer to the edge of the river?
Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.
And under the LED lights are rows of picnic tables with cakes, punch, hot dogs and Boston Baked Beans. And corn cobs. And root beer. And potato chips. And coleslaw. And potato salad.
It’s their afterlife? Or it’s their house? Or what?
And why? Why?
Because in 1974 Lacey was actually possibly friends with Bobby Jr.? …Like, actually friends. They never dated but he may have had a slight crush on her. He resented her maternal instincts. And yet, she just couldn’t date him because it seemed strange. But she did enjoy his company as a friend. And they never held hands or anything one would do on a date. But they liked to talk politics and history.
And that’s when Joe lost Lacey. That possibility is when Joe lost Lacey. And of course Lacey was born in 1983.
The thing is…they would have been friends. He was possibly a better person back then and the world was a better place.
The thing is…was this potentiality a problem for Joe all along or did it arrive at this cruelty eventually? Not that her and Bobby would ever have even dated…but just him possibly being her equal and maybe finding her pretty…would destroy the possibility of her and Joe Jr..
“No nothing ever happened between them.” says Lem.
He watched them. Why? Because she wasn’t like his usual female friends, for the most part. She was serious, thoughtful and very observant. She seemed sad. And she was fascinated by Lem.
She asked Lem endless questions. And at almost 20 she didn’t realize that Lem was fascinated by her too. Because she was raised to be the very humble. And it’s not that she thought her beauty was non-existent she just didn’t think it mattered. She’d only had one boyfriend who broke off the engagement to marry a model. And she planned to finish an Art History degree and possibly live in New York City indefinitely.
“But then she visited us.” says Lem in 1974.
Do her and Lem fall in love? Get married forever? Would Lem have shocked people by going from supposedly gay interior decorator to married man with a 20 year old wife?
“That’s pedophilia!” shouts someone.
“Not if Lacey was 20 and Lem wasn’t a pedophile and their relationship was somehow normal.
A 20 year old woman in 1974 might have been a woman. And she was ready to get married.
“I was ready to settle down and get married at 20.” says Lacey. “But there was no one to marry and Millennials were taught to wait until age 30 to marry.”
Silence.
“I’m not a pedophile and I don’t think Lem is either.” says Lacey.
Ghosts-Falling by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.
“I would have cleaned-up for her.” says Lem. “She would have been the love of my life.”
“But she was born in 1983.” says Michael drearily.
“And you died in 1961, supposedly.” says Louis to Michael.
“Yeah, that’s a shame.” says Gabby.
“Well…would I have married Michael…or Lem?” asks Lacey. “If Michael hadn’t have died.”
“No, that’s a good question.” asks a demon or a possible 20th Century English shipping magnate.
“Or me?” asks Louis. “At age 24.”
“I was born in 1983 and these possibilities are tragic?” asks Lacey. “Or was I never supposed to be with Joe?”
“What’s the LED Light Party like?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.
“I don’t know. Are Bobby and Ethel, Bobby Jr.’s parents invited?” asks Lacey.
Summer Overture by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.
Later.
“Yes! We are there.” Bobby Sr. says to Lacey. Ethel demurs.
Joe sits and It’s All In The Game as sung by Tommy Edwards plays.
Under a string of LED lights, with a plate of cake, Boston Baked Beans and Fruit Punch he sits. It’s actually very beautiful. Does he notice it?
Crickets are in the background. It’s pitch black. Other than for the LED lights.
Pat Wilson joins him across the table.
“When I died in 2017 and we fell in love…were we really cheating?” asks Pat, seeming serene.
“Lacey loves this song but it made her weep.” says Joe.
Pat cries.
And at that Joe loses his temper. He picks up his slice of cake and throws it at Pat.
She looks at him and grins. Her face lights up, showing off her sparkling, happy, blue eyes. She thinks he’s just being silly.
Please Love Me Forever by Tommy Edwards plays next.
Pat opens her mouth and grins, ever joyfully.
“Pat, do you have any clue what this song reminds me of?!” he asks holding back his rage.
“Oh, it’s just the way I love you.” says Pat.
“You think I want to hear Michael or Lem sing love songs to Lacey?” asks Joe Jr.. “I was dead in the 1950’s. Michael was alive. So was Lem.”
She thinks. “Can’t it be our song?!” she pleads.
The song plays.
Bobby Sr. laughs cautiously.
“I’ll love you forever…” sings Pat.
J. P. Kennedy Sr. sighs in exasperation, rolls his eyes and gets up to go order a pizza on his cell phone.
“Where’s Dad going?” Joe asks Bobby.
Love Is All We Need by Tommy Edwards plays.
“Joe, Joe, Joe why aren’t you happy?” pleads Pat Wilson.
And what happens next is a mystery. For now. Why? …Because earlier today Lacey heard wailing, male guffaws at some seeming hilarity and she wondered what it was. She thought it was likely at Pat’s LED party. Was it or…was it just sounds from Hell?
…And is that Leslie Jordan in Purgatory worshiping the God of the Bible…trying desperately and bravely to enjoy the cake Pat Wilson served? He does not look happy but he also looks as if he’s trying to enjoy the cake.
“Did Leslie ever attack you?” asks a Charismatic.
“Yes!” says Lacey. “I think so.”
“It’s not funny.” says Leslie very seriously.
“But it sounds hilarious.” says Lacey. Joe Jr. throws more cake at Pat.
He cries.
“Why is sad?” Lacey asks him.
It’s Only The Good Times I remember by Tommy Edwards plays.
Leslie may be given grace to laugh.
And at that a picnic table perfect for Pinterest in 2014 topples over.
I’ve Been There plays next. Pat’s ex-husbands arrive. They arrange themselves to smile and bless the union of Joe and Pat? It was supposed to be humorous.
Joe is enraged by Pat…
Honestly and Truly plays next.
Somehow…Pat and Joe start dancing. …And then Kick screams because a bunch of raccoons dart through the party?
“Is that real? It’s like a comedy.” says Lacey.
—-
Later.
After Lacey sees the new statue in Boston…she decides it a violent, racist, Lem-has-to-be-gay, JFK-fan, MLK Jr.-was-secretly-gay-too-and-didn’t-love-his-wife, Michael Rockefeller-insulting, bisexuality-attacking, possibly pedophilic, hideous piece of shit. And actually it looks like a literal piece of shit… She grieves for the people who were victims of this psychological violence.
“Nope. I had nothing to do with it.” says Louis.
“I hate it.” says Bobby Sr..
“No! The kids are not to blame!” says Lacey to the pedophiles in the Illuminati.
“Who is?” yells a pedophile back at her.
“Whoever inspired it. And who was that? Leslie?” asks Lacey.
“So hidden Dixiecrats?” asks someone.
“Boston does have a racist history.” says a Liberal.
“Who likes that $10 million statue?!?” asks a black man.
“It wasn’t my direct idea. Certainly not!” says Leslie.
“What if a Jew designed it?” asks Harold Loeb.
“I don’t think almost anyone likes that statue. …Oddly it’s so gross and genuinely offensive I think it’s self-hating antisemitism in that case. Accidental or intentional.” says Lacey.
“I doubt a Jew had anything to do with it.” says Harold Loeb.
“I hope not.” says Lacey. “Does the public deserve that money back?” asks Lacey. “And frankly, I worry for the man who made it.”
“What do you mean?” asks Leslie.
“Was he set-up?” asks Lacey.
“What do you mean?” asks a bleak woman.
“He was bound to hurt himself making that statue. It’s just that genuinely awful. …And if to it was a racist plot…and he’s black…then?” says Lacey.
“Well…I hate that statue.” says a man who it was supposed to be designed for.
“Could it be the other way around?” asks a gay politician.
“Like it’s mocking Jack and Lem?” asks Lacey.
He thinks. “Actually, the homophobic satire of Jack and Lem angle is far fetched.”
“You’re desperately trying to be a victim. Aren’t you? …Because even if it is a satire it’s self-exonerating. It’s like a mockery of human rights outside of the rights of racist gay men who hate women.” says Lacey.
She thinks.
“Actually, who are you playing nice with?” she asks.
“Is it an attack on your father?” a pleb asks.
“Possibly, but who is attacking him? …HoneyFitz?” she asks. “Joe Jr.?” She thinks. “The Crash Bang Gang led by Pat Wilson? …Dixiecrats-who-love-Kem? …It’s…gross.”
“It’s just innocent art!” says someone.
“Then why are the people who it’s supposed to honor possibly offended?” asks Lacey.
A Native American woman laughs.
“The thing is…if a pedophile inspired it…it’s unfortunately a testament to their derangement. …Or if it wasn’t pedophilic in that way…then is it an attempt at making friends with pedophiles but it accidentally insults their intelligence?” asks Lacey. “They are vile and deranged but are they really likely as of yet to spend $10 of other people’s money on controversial art?”
“Why wouldn’t they?” asks a gay man condescendingly of Lacey.
“Because they’re sociopathic or psychopathic on some level consistently and they try to fit in in society. They’d not be likely to be dumb enough to think they were going to get away with it.” says Lacey.
“Or…they’re getting really dumb!!” says a drunk Pat Wilson.
“I hope you and Joe are eventually able to find happiness!” says Lacey ironically to them both from a safe distance.
—
Keen to Cross the Pond 