Michael

(Adult content below)

Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dogg plays.

Mr. Blue decided to torture Lacey in 2016. He had had a crush on her but his Bat Crew passionately hated her. And feeling intimidated by the females in the Bat Crew Batgirl II (who identifies publicly as a heterosexually married male) cowered. So he decided to indulge in his worst, most psychopathic instincts. They likely all blackmail each other regularly…of course.

And Lem…is out of touch. He understood Elliott cheating with Faye was wrong. He’s a sensitive, caring man. But he doesn’t understand what happened, although people keep trying to help him. God keeps trying to help him.

But Michael understands the Wild West. Michael understands the Asmats. And he grew-up a Rockefeller in the late first half of the 20th Century.

“But the song is about a male whore like Jack.” says Lem.

“He’s also a thug. And a cowboy.” says Michael. “And a lot like an Asmat. He’s a gangster.”

“Things changed in 2016. They came to the surface.” says Lacey. “Whoever started it…it was lit in 2016.”

“You don’t think it’s just like the 1960’s?” asks Lem.

“No. I certainly hope not. The 60’s were just a suicide march.” says Lacey. “Things have to crack eventually. It’s…exhausting.”

“Why do we want things to crack?” asks a white man.

“We’re going to Hell as a society.” says Lacey. “Truly. …And I highly suspect the country will be destroyed not ‘fine.’ Like…it will disintegrate. Or totally decay.”

DFM.

Lem smiles.

“Darling, do you want to be the leader of a gang? You seem…unlikely.” says Lem to Lacey with loving hidden meaning.

Bow Down by Westside Connection plays.

“You’re the leader of DFM not me.” says Lacey to Lem. “Isn’t it like a hobby for you?”

“He is.” says Ron Craft.

“What is DFM?” asks Michael.

“Yeah…what is DFM?” asks Desmond Guinness.

“An extremely powerful, supernatural group of dead people from Flint, Michigan.” says Lem. “Run by me.”

“Do you have to be dead to join?” asks a teen.

“Yes. But you’d not want to die to join. Don’t get twisted.” says Lacey.

“But you still think I don’t understand?” asks Lem.

“Well, who’s the real inspiration for DFM? Me or you?” Lacey asks Lem.

“You.” says Lem. “But I’m actually a very good leader.”

“I have my own gang.” says Michael. “In the afterlife it’s not the same. We aren’t competing.”

“And I control…a lot too.” says Louis.

“Funny how we’ve thought in Christianity that death brings extinction.” says Lacey.

“So…you’re challenging DFM every time you harass Lacey? And whatever else Michael and Louis control?” asks a journalist of Mr. Blue. “And she’s angry?”

“It’s redemption not annihilation of our souls.” says Lacey. “Right?”

“And it started out as her being with Joe Jr.?” asks a famous businesswoman.

“We’ll kill you!! We’ll kill you. You had no business having a crush on me. You’re a retarded ape. And honestly…just…eeww. Eww! Eww! Gross. Michael is gross and Lem is gross and you’re gross and Louis is less gross but still gross. And Harold Loeb is a zero. And I’m marginally more attractive. And Joe is hot. Joe…is…hot. And rich. And a Kennedy.” says Mr. Blue with a psychologically complex combination of seriousness, lack of awareness and yet also some trepidation.

Got Your Money by Ol’ Dirty Bastard plays.

“Are you serious?” Lacey asks him. “At all? You sound…so stupid.”

“It’s me. The song is about me!” says Jack. “It’s all about me.”

“All of it?” asks Lacey.

“Yes! In fact, yes.” says Jack.

“How?” asks Lacey.

He looks nervous. “I was a powerful US President, alive. I made mistakes.” he fights to admit.

“Well…I guess there’s an argument to be made. But I have to think it’s about more than just you. You may have been essential to the trouble though.” says Lacey.

“Like I was a horrible mistake?” asks Jack.

“Your Presidency.” says Lacey.

“Everyone loves my Presidency. Isn’t that funny?” says Jack.

“Not DFM.” says Lem.

“Chris wannabe, do you have any mode but ‘hate mode’ for Lacey?“ asks a Gen X woman realizing Lacey plays scary games.

“I pretend to be uncool.” says Lacey. “I always have.”

Silence.

“Everyone falls for it.” says Lacey. She sighs.

“Why?” asks Scott.

Bobby suddenly screams. He screams at the top of his lungs.

“Lacey is one of us, now.” say a group of dead Republicans. “Michael seduced her.”

“So did I.” says Lem. “I was gay?!” He scoffs.

“Like Lem…I was very free-thinking.” says Louis. “But let’s be clear…Lacey really isn’t a slut. Truly. At least I understand that.”

“No, she isn’t.” says Scott.

No Roots by Alice Merton plays.

Then, Take Me Away by Wild Belle plays.

“Why did you betray us?” Bobby asks Lacey.

“I was looking for love and I never found it.” says Lacey. “For a start.” She thinks. “But I was also looking for peace. And I had that stolen from me too. Stolen.”

“Because things are falling apart?” asks Bobby.

“In general? Yes. But…you all wanted me to be a rockstar.” says Lacey. “Right? Go into politics. Be cool. Be…straight.” She thinks. “I am straight. But I refuse to be so…stupid.” She thinks. “Straight Millennial culture was grossly idiotic.”

Bobby looks sad.

“I expected you to be popular. And wear midriffs.” says Joe Jr. in admission.

In the afterlife, in the future as it stands, should the Illuminati exist Mr. Blue is thrown across the floor by Michael with Lem’s guidance. Michael crushes in Mr. Blue’s skull with his foot.

Ron Craft says, “That’s nothing.”

“Welcome to the true West you little big city parasite.” says Louis to Mr. Blue.

“Are they initiating him?!” ask the Bat Crew with painfully stupid insouciance.

“No, see…you’re trapped in a web of your own evil. And it’s slowly strangling you.” says Lacey. “I’m not perfect. I’m human. So I have to be careful how I say that.” She thinks. “But…you’re going to be tortured. Truly.”

“Where are her helpers?” Michael asks Fred Rogers.

“Satan?!?” asks Jack indignantly, without irony, as if looking for his maid. He loves his Segway. Uses it often. Today he’s rolling around shouting, “Satan?!?”

“Has Satan replaced Lem?” asks a Gen Xer.

“I worry that that’s what Jack thinks.” says Lacey.

“He does realize it’s Satan?” asks a journalist.

“I think he’s unfortunately more confused than that.” says Lacey.

“He wants me.” says Jack. “I keep thinking it’s Heaven. But then he gets weird.”

“Why would Satan be in Heaven?” someone asks Jack.

“He travels there occasionally.” says Jack.

“Not necessarily, Jack.” says a Catholic.

“Fine.” says Jack.

Transgender by Crystal Castles plays.

“Of course I’m warning you. I actually care. Truly. Stop strangling yourselves.” Lacey says to haters caught in their own evil. “You’re strangling yourselves.” Lacey prays for God’s will.

“Why would you do that?” asks a hater.

“Do what?” asks Lacey.

“Let us all possibly go to Purgatory or Hell?” asks a hater.

“By shirking my duties?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” says Batgirl III.

“I was already morbidly exhausted by age 3. If a 3 year old can want to commit suicide I did. I think I’d have committed suicide before that. Actually, I probably tried to in utero or their birth daughter did it successfully.” Lacey laughs. “And I just…as an equal…supposedly…found you all so obnoxious.” She thinks. “You’re self-centered, obtuse morons by birth or by choice? You don’t care? Right? Not really. You’re inept assholes with shitty tastes and no apologies.” She thinks. “You make HUGE mistakes and never apologize truly.”

“Why? You could have just used your superiority to be popular?” asks Joe Jr..

“They don’t want that. They don’t care about me. Why would I want to be popular? They’re not morons really I suppose, but…they don’t want love. They want candy. And cruelty. And endless babysitting.”

“That’s true. A 50-something woman did say that Lacey at 8 had the maturity of an 18 year old. When it came to babysitting. Not everything, of course.” says Michael.

“So you made yourself unpopular?” asks a Boomer.

“Yes. It seemed safe.” says Lacey. “But also, quiet. Mostly safe? Peaceful.”

“We don’t care about your suffering before you met us. Do we?” asks Mr. Blue.

“No, I suppose not.” says Lacey. “And that’s your choice. But…then why am I supposed to care about you? On what moral grounds? My Christianity?”

“Lacey, did you like that 50-something woman?” asks Michael.

“Yes! She was the only one who made any sense.” says Lacey. “Although, she was a little pretentious.”

“Right, but you were only 4.” says Michael.

“Would you have accidentally found me attractive?” asks Lacey.

“No. No.” he says.

“How would you have handled that if you’d fallen in love when I got older?” asks Lacey.

“I’d have been fascinated by your mind. A kid is a kid.” says Michael. “How did you become one of us?” He thinks. “It’s like having a little sister. Or babysitting. As a teenager. But then they grow older and so do you.” He smiles. “And there’s nothing else there. It’s just a matter of time. But you’re a very young Silent Generation member if we’re alike enough.” He thinks. “Or maybe I’m like you, and I could have been born even earlier. …Almost. Maybe you more than me, humorously enough.”

“So you don’t want us to suffer?” asks a little girl her she who she went to school with.

“No, I don’t think so.” says Lacey.

“What made you think we were so…sub-human?!” she asks.

“I didn’t. I think I’m remembering it badly in the sense that I’m being a bit too hard on myself. I did see your humanity and empathize and fully identify with it. Like an equal. But…you’ve all progressively abandoned me over the years.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. We did.” she admits.

“Why did you do that? It made me feel so alienated? And so incredibly hurt.” says Lacey.

“My mom told me I could. Behind closed doors. She told me I didn’t have to be that nice if I didn’t like someone.” she says.

“Why did you all collectively decide not to like me?” Lacey asks.

Young by Vacations plays.

“No, we didn’t!” she says.

“No, you did. Right? I mean, I was horrifically bullied.” says Lacey.

“You didn’t molest kids?!? Right?!?” hopes the spirit of Lacey’s ex-step-mother-in-law. She pants in anticipation of Lacey’s evil and derangement.

Radio by Lana Del Rey plays.

“No. They might have molested me. But no, I didn’t.” says Lacey.

“No, she didn’t. Really. They sort of thing, grossed her out.” says Louis. “Stop strangling yourselves.”

“I don’t think you understand. She was also a kid. And other little girls bullied her by making her show her private parts to them by bribing her with friendship.” says Michael about Lacey. “They bullied her that way. And maybe once she misunderstood and asked another little girl to do the same because the other little girls were never really corrected. Only Lacey was ever corrected harshly. The teacher rarely sided with Lacey truly. …But she didn’t touch the little girl and actually, the little girl might have said no. And Lacey seemingly respected that. She might have been hurt because she thought the little girl didn’t want to be her friend. But the arousal portion was actually gross to her. …And she was relieved when the other little girl said no, if that’s what happened. Although the other little girl may have actually instigated it. AND actually…she only found it arousing with the other little girls because she was anticipating growing-up. Not being molested. Growing-up.” says Michael. “Not because she was attracted to the other little girls. But because she anticipated being with men when she was a woman. …It’s unclear what the other little girls found so exciting about seeing her vagina.” He seethes. “Get it straight witches in the Illuminati who CLING to this. And have for years. LACEY never instigated it or if she did it was in confusion caused by other little girls attacking her first and her getting truly confused. Lacey never attacked any little girls with it.” Michael becomes increasingly upset.

“I need Lacey to be evil.” says a witch.

“I found the story of Lacey being attacked to show her vagina for a few seconds to other little girls arousing. How excitingly shameful. Yummy! There are children being molested to this story right now! I’m a KING!!” says Mr. Blue completely seriously. “And I LOVE the thought of pedophilia. As one myself. I use the Bat Crew to molest my own kids secretly. They enable me to get money. Of course. We’re all toast! Right?! Let…the…party…begin.” he says like nerd. Totally seriously.

“You were attacked or wanted it?” asks a hateful Silent Generation woman of Lacey.

“I was attacked.” says Lacey.

“The Illuminati makes deaf women speak her words. To silence Lacey with demons of deafness.” says Mr. Blue. “Did you hear that? Now in the spirit to those who are narcissistic oat sounds like she wasn’t attacked. She sounds deaf.” He giggles.

Lacey, of course, fought for the children to be protected by God or for vengeance if necessary, as in if the pedophiles didn’t relent and stop. Because she really isn’t a pedophile.

“No. So you shared that story because you wanted to defend yourself? I don’t care if other little girls raped you in the only way they knew how. They were bisexual or lesbians or being molested by adults and then deciding to attack you. But you were better than them. And you asked…and I’m guessing didn’t even really want it. At all. And…I bet you accepted the decline from the other little girl or were confused completely because you didn’t want it?” asks Summertime Sadness of Lacey.

“No. I don’t think I did. I think I thought it was…a thing cool girls did. Because all the girls who attacked me were cool. No…I got very confused and thought I wanted it, partially but not fully. But only in the way a child gets confused while they’re molested. I really found the vaginas I saw repulsive.” says Lacey.

“No! Kids want it. For real!!!” say the pedophiles in the Illuminati. “We molest out of supply and demand dynamics! We are the supply!!!”

“That’s my clique!” says Mr. Blue representing.

“No. Of course they don’t. The great philosophers never believed kids returned the love. I don’t think. …No. They can’t. You can confuse them and that’s a horrifying thing to untangle as an adult or earlier. Because it’s humiliating to be so bamboozled.” says Lacey. “But they don’t return any real romantic love. Not really. And they never truly want it for any other reason.”

“Why don’t you care that Summertime Sadness hates you?! I can’t stand being rejected. I can’t stand being genuinely admired by good people. I’m a vicious, cutthroat, egotistical, shallow, pseudo-intellectual cheat. But I’m KING!!” says Mr. Blue. “I’m sorry. But you caring is my bread and butter. So why don’t you care?!? Help me!!!”

“This does remind me of when the other little girls came up with the idea of me showing my private parts to them. If I started asking it could have also been to fight back. But the teachers only corrected me harshly. And it bothered me because I didn’t want to hurt them. And it hurt because…I didn’t want to hurt anyone. And I didn’t want it.” says Lacey.

“I know. It’s just fun to bully you in a new way.” says Mr. Blue. “We know you didn’t molest anyone. Probably not even accidentally. We know you aren’t at all attracted to women and never were.” says Mr. Blue expecting Lacey to be crying. He’s offended when she isn’t.

“Michael would she have showed her private parts to you? If you’d been the same age?” asks a perfume hater.

“Oh! Is this more bullshit about The Loudest Perfume Hater being a lesbian victim? ‘Oh! She didn’t know! She just…sensed Lacey was in love.’” says Lacey mockingly.

“Lacey, you’re such a heretic in the Church of American Democrat.” says Louis.

“I think you got raped because you were…uncool?” says Summertime Sadness heartlessly to Lacey in his spirit, as if she really maybe deserved it.

“I wouldn’t have given her the time of day!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater seriously to Summertime Sadness.

“No, no! Summertime Sadness and The Loudest Perfume Hater go grab a room.” says the perfume community. “You two remind me of each other. Sadly.” They collect themselves. “Michael would she have tried to show you herself or see you? If you’d been the same age?”

“No.” Michael laughs. “No, kids explore. In normal ways with each other consensually. But this was different, what happened to her. And she was never given friendship, of course. Maybe for a few minutes, but only to fool her and get her hopes up. And of course her parents never helped her. Lacey wasn’t loved. Try using simple logic, you sad bastards!” he says…to so-called haters. “Listen, she was empathetic. She wouldn’t have wanted to see that. Because…she knew it was creepy. Or could be.” He thinks. “The other little girls lacked the empathy and logic not Lacey. …But even if Lacey had been raised by Tom…she wouldn’t have been the one to instigate it. Lacey is smart enough to know it’s potentially creepy.” He thinks. “She tried just kissing a friend once who was a girl because she was molested, but then she realized the little girl was a little girl and it was kind of weird anyway…and they were just friends anyway.” says Michael.

“Because kids might kiss?” asks a professor.

“She was trying to figure out what was good and bad. What kissing was. But it wasn’t me. And she was misunderstood.” says Michael. “Kids don’t always kiss. But she got the idea from television and her molesters. And yet she didn’t molest because she has empathy and an at least normal amount of compassion. And intelligence!!! Do you have any idea how stupid evil is?!?” He thinks. “And molesting wasn’t arousing to her.”

“Why you? Why men as an adult?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater of Michael. “Those little girls couldn’t convert her, although I bet the little Millennial boys favored those girls. And I bet they still do.”

“She was the prettiest girl in the class. And the nicest. But she was so serious. And…sad. So sad. Always so sad. …But at that age I didn’t know it. I thought she was just weird.” says the now grown woman then other little girl Lacey went to school with.

“People will always love her though. Because she’s so pretty!” says one of her molesters about Lacey in his spirit.

“Tom Banks!” says a professor.

“No, of course not! That doesn’t even make any sense.” says Lacey.

One of Lacey’s kids gets hurt. Mr. Blue sent demons to attack her and her family.

“Why do you assume you’re safe in respect to God?” asks a Christian who’s anticipating Mr. Blue will reference atheism.

“There is no God.” says Mr. Blue on cue. “I doubt it, anyway. Michael is just a ghost, should he exist. I justify pedophilia that way too. But Lacey finds pedophilia repulsive.”

“Pedophilia is repulsive.” says Michael. “And actually…you do very vaguely resemble me. But I’m far more handsome.” He looks at Mr. Blue. “Were you trying to imagine Lacey and I to get off? …Funny thing…we know that. But you are obsessed with her. It’s bizarre. It’s one of the reasons she still wonders if she’s just schizophrenic. How could you be that focused on just attacking her so often?! So very obsessively?!”

“Because she’s fun to attack? Because you feel your entire being being criticized? Rightfully, of course. …I dare you to kill yourself, come find me and we can settle this like men?” Michael says to Mr. Blue only with Christ’s approval for such a directive and only in defense of the innocent.

“I’m too filled with demons to think this through.” he says, giggling. “I get high and deal with demons and make pacts, should the Illuminati exist.”

“Why we attacking Lacey endlessly though?” asks a witch.

“I feel my demons calling me to.” say a group of Illuminati witches, should the Illuminati exist.

“Can’t you ignore your demons?!?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Because they give us our power. We aren’t Christianity.” says an Illuminati witch to Summertime Sadness.

“That’s logical.” says Summertime Sadness, sadly.

“Okay, but we also try to talk to ghosts.” says a Catholic shamefully in the Illuminati.

“Did you guys pick on Lacey knowing she was going to make love to Michael or not?” asks a psychic.

“No!!” says one of the members.

“Actually he made love to her!” says Michael. “Although not nearly enough.”

Mr. Blue laughs. “Oh come on! We all know there are better things than heterosexual adult sex!” he says.

“Like what?!?” asks a wealthy man.

“Like…power.” says Mr. Blue.

“God’s love is different. But God is different entirely.” says Lacey. “But God created sex for us. Before we were His children.” She thinks. “We weren’t fallen but I don’t think we were his children either. Were we?” She thinks. “Anyway, He’s God. Not our natural born father. But through Christ He’s our Heavenly Father. But we aren’t ashamed of how He made us in Heaven, as in how we were designed to have sex as adults with other adults.” Lacey thinks. “We MUST truly have free will. God isn’t evil.”. She thinks. “So…in Heaven we’ve admitted to our mistakes and realized our shame with sex is our embarrassment about our fall in The Garden of Eden, I suspect.”

“But you have very little shame.” says a Boomer to Lacey.

“True. But probably no more or less than a Greatest Generation member would.” says Lacey. “I actually don’t think they had real shame to the degree it’s depicted as being.”

“Was that a clever rouse to create privacy?” asks a professor.

“It still works.” says Lacey. “But I’m far less certain of that opinion than the other.”

“Are you embarrassed you got tricked into showing yourself for a few seconds by the other little girls?” asks a Boomer of Lacey.

“Yes. How gross.” says Lacey. “Although they might not have thought that. But I certainly didn’t enjoy the view or the showing. I think if I did it was at the thought of growing-up and being able to be with men. Of course, being a teenager first. Men weren’t attractive in that way. I mean I might have seen them as attractive but they weren’t supposed to really find me attractive. And they weren’t attractive in the way a boy my age was.”

“So you didn’t enjoy them as other little girls in any sexual way?” asks a Gen Z woman.

Lacey let’s herself feel repulsed. “No. How dull. Boys my age were just so much more fascinating.” She thinks. “Actually, it was gross seeing them.”

“Lacey, how were those little girls not lesbians?” asks a Millennial woman condescendingly. Because almost all women under the age of 70 are condescending to Lacey.

“That’s what I think!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater to the Millennial woman.

“They might have been. They’d not have admitted to that. I was the weird one according to their public narrative.” says Lacey.

“No, I think that’s why the teachers blamed you. They were scared those little girls were all lesbians and you seemed tough enough to deal with their anger. Kind of like the ocean.” says a Boomer to Lacey.

“But I wasn’t guilty.” says Lacey. “I still feel scared, like I’m being brutally psychologically attacked. And not listened to. When I think of it. Those little girls so-called ‘got away with it’ for the moment…”

“So why did you allow it?!” asks Mr. Blue.

“Yeah!! You were so smart but you didn’t know what sex was?!? You’re so arrogant about your intelligence!” says a female Millennial out of the blue to Lacey seriously.

“Yeah! Right!? I bet she’s shit compared to you as a human?!?” asks Mr. Blue of the Millennial woman.

“That’s-“ She shrugs in a secret affirmative.

“I didn’t know why they wanted to see me. I assumed it was…” Lacey thinks. “Like the doctor. Or like they were concerned about something.”

“But you never showed yourself to little girls who demanded it of you.” says a Boomer.

“No. Because I wasn’t interested in showing myself to anyone.” says Lacey.

“I’m a lesbian now! That’s why I hate you.” says the Millennial to Lacey.

Confused silence.

“No, obviously you didn’t turn me into a lesbian. And I’m just starting to realize they bullied you into showing yourself. But when I first read it…I skimmed. And I hate you. I hate your blog.” She thinks. “I hate…”. She thinks. “Actually, I didn’t know you until high school. And you never showed anything. You were extremely modest.” She thinks more. “I just…am a lesbian. And that pisses you off. Right?!?”

“Why would it make me mad?!?” asks Lacey. “I might have some concerns. But I’m not angry.”

“Yeah! Concerns!” she says.

“True!” says the professor condescendingly about Lacey. “But it’s fine for a ghost and a living woman to make love. Right?!” he scoffs.

“Yes, concerns based on Christianity.” says Lacey.

“Your Christianity. My Christianity is more fluid.” says the professor.

In Da Club by 50 Cent plays.

Meanwhile, Jack Keflies by Earth on his Segway, lands in Los Angeles. Drives down the strip.

“Does your Christianity account for Jack’s movements on his Segway? Where is he? How? Is it Purgatory?” asks Lacey of the professor. “You don’t believe in Purgatory? Then where is he?”

“He’s in your imagination.” says the professor.

“What if he isn’t?” asks Lacey.

“Then it’s…Purgatory I guess?! How should I know. I’m not dead.” he says.

“But you’re claiming to be an expert. And you just contradicted yourself.” says the Native American woman to the professor.

“Lacey why didn’t the boys attack you? Really, that’s all I want to know.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“So you have unequivocal proof Lacey is a lesbian?!?” asks F. Scott Fitzgerald sarcastically of The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yeah! Right? Like…I don’t. But…why is she so butch?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“What’s butch to you?” asks Scott.

“Like…she doesn’t play dumb. And she…covers up too much. And doesn’t wear enough makeup and…-“ starts the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Not that much. But okay! …I think she also does that because she’s been so often sexually attacked.” says a Boomer.

“That’s not a real reason.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No…it is.” says a real psychologist.

“No! Because then she’s not like me.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater. “I do that to repel and attract men. But because I find women more attractive at times.”

“For all the actual adults listening who have an at least moderate amount of intelligence and real empathy: What does Lacey’s actual sexuality seem like?” asks Michael.

“She seems scary. Not like she’d attack you scary. More like…she’d be terrifying if you really knew her. …But not like in a way we have any cultural references for in the US.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“But…there is no Purgatory!” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.

“Why scary? Why not just hear her no.” a lesbian asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Because she’s-Because…I mean…she’s…not going to best me. And I can tell she thinks I’m a piece of shit! …And that’s all it ever was.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“She probably thought I was one too.” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.

“I think I gave her that impression of me too.” says Summertime Sadness.

—