Secretary of Destruction

Sodus by Cemeteries plays.

“No, you can’t die. They’d not react well to you dying.” says a dead black woman in Lacey’s house. They meaning Lacey’s kids.

Lacey has been refusing to die. She chokes at every meal now and hopefully that will improve…and she’s anemic. But no, she’s holding out for another 20 years hopefully or more.

“I thought you should die now!” says a well-dressed dead man in a tweed sports coat. He’s friends with Lou. He just thought Lacey seemed miserable.

“She’d be so much happier dead!” he said to Louis.

But after examining her life he decided he was wrong. He feels bad.

“I only told Louis!” he says. And of course God knew too.

“It’s going to be weird dating these men once you’re dead.” says a writer. “You’re so used to the distance. What will it actually be like once you’re in the same realm?!?”

And you know…this writer who is likely insightful about human relationships like writers can be…might be right. Or at least, it’s something Lacey has wondered herself…and she has a feeling this woman might be intelligent in that way…

Louis sits and stares. “I’m not worried. I have so much to tell you.” he says.

“Yeah, but her relationship with Joe didn’t do well in transition. It went from some beautiful sense she had almost purely in her subconscious to this.” says the writer. “It completely fell apart.”

So Lacey analyzes the men.

No, all is well with Lem. The relationship would thrive with him alive.

“True!” says the writer.

It does fall apart with Joe.

It thrives with Michael. Maybe not as much as Lem…but then again???

“Yup!” says the writer.

“It thrives with me!” says Harold Loeb. “You have no idea how much I’d like to talk to you too.”

The writer laughs. Blushes. Smiles.

Meeting Louis is comforting but also terrifying.

He cries.

“I have a feeling I’ll see you, should God allow it…and think, ‘It’s really you!’” says Lacey to Louis.

“Yeah! Like…pen pals but more shocking.” he says.

“But can we still be close if I’m with Lem?!” asks Lacey of Louis.

“These four men persisted for a reason!” says the dead writer frighting back tears. Seeing her living loved ones upset is…horrible.

“Yeah, forget I said anything about Lacey dying!!!” says the man in the tweed jokingly, except he’s being serious.

“Wow, Joe…you cheated on a writer!” says a living comedian.

“They…are fascinating. They control you. Whether they want to or not.” says Joe.

“Not if you love them, at least in a bad way.” says Lacey.

Harold Loeb agrees.

“Does Lem control you?” asks the dead female writer named Erin. Lacey has been thinking about SNL a lot lately…weirdly randomly.

“Yes. So can Michael. Actually all four of them can.” says Lacey.

“And that’s a good thing to you?!” she asks.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

She laughs. “Maybe it is.” Then with beautiful stoic wonder she thinks, like the seemingly sensitive, sensible, intelligent person she is.

More later.

Prince Philip throws a frisbee from behind to Louis long-distance. Louis catches it perfectly.

Lacey’s cousin shot himself in the head.

Saoirse overdosed.

Maeve and Gideon drowned.

Millions of people died, suffocated by Covid-19.

Child sex slaves are being tortured.

Ukraine and Russia are in a bloody war.

“Are you part of the End Times, Bat Crew?” asks Lacey. “Are you three pure evil? What if it’s all your fault and the three of you are violently gross leeches on humanity’s skin?”

Sodus plays.

“You attacked me! I keep trying to walk away and you’re obsesssive freaks!” says Lacey. “I can’t die. I have kids to raise. …Can’t you guys die? You probably just molest your kids anyway. Why are you alive?” Lacey asks The Bat Crew.

“We can’t kill them.” says the Illuminati.

“You’ve been telling me that for a while. But…I’ve also been telling you all repeatedly that you’ve got to find a way to control them. Queen Elizabeth II found a way to bring peace. …Why did it take her demanding it to bring it about? Why can’t you find a way now?” asks Lacey.

“Maybe they’re just too stubborn.” says a transgender woman.

“That’s absurd.” says Lacey. “And don’t get any more dumbs idea to try to kill my kids again.”

“Why can’t you guys just blow-up her entire family all at once?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Because it doesn’t work!!!!! You IDIOT!!!” yells the Illuminati at The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Didn’t Michael warn y’all about banks a while ago though?” asks a southerner reading Lacey’s blog. “And then them demons or men or whatever they are – ask the Pope because we don’t know in our church – were on a train. Right before the accident.”

“They could be in Purgatory.” says Mr. Blue.

“Yeah! Speaking of which…why aren’t you more scared?” the southern woman asks Mr. Blue.

“I’m not death. I mean…I don’t…I feel no pain.” He shrugs. “I get sorry. …But they can’t handle that she’s who she is either.”

“Who’s they?” asks Michael.

“My controllers. My demons. My…alliances.” says Mr. Blue.

Sodus by Cemeteries restarts.

“What can’t they handle?!?!?” asks Lord Thirsten Snotgrass, seriously.

“That she found us. Entirely by accident.” says Mr. Blue, possibly on their behalf.

“Yeah…why didn’t that raise red flags?” asks a Mary.

A Freemason has a human reaction. They cry. It’s nice to hear from Michael.

“Or did you sacrifice both the lovebirds?” asks Rocky.

Joe Jr. laughs. “She really has been too stubborn to die, Lem.” he says.

“Stubborn in a good way.” says Lacey.

Michael smiles. “I was stubborn too, Joe.”

Joe thinks. “Lem, were you projecting?! Who isn’t stubborn amongst those whom Lacey loves?”

“I’m stubborn. I’m a woman, so it doesn’t work for her to be interested in me. But I’m stubborn. Are you sure she likes stubborn men…or do you have that backwards, Joe?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yeah, alright.” says Joe.

“Was your dad stubborn?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No.” says Joe. “Determined.”

“Is he mad at Wells Fargo?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater. She smiles. “It’s just interesting that he went into lockdown shortly before this started with the banks. …With your mom.” She shrugs. “Wasn’t he into banking?” She smiles. “And…does he have a beef with banking rules? Or…Silicon Valley?” She laughs. “Umm…it’s also you who’s been hurt. And…Jack is messed-up? And…Lem is suffering. And so many of his family members have died.” She takes a deep breath. “Wasn’t…there like…didn’t Ron and the other guy who died in Lacey’s family…own banks? Or no? They did stuff like that? Accounting? But like high level accounting. …Umm…yeah.” She hesitates. “It just seems…weird.” She thinks. “Like…if there’s anything not fictional about this blog…you guys are holding Lacey hostage. And then people are dying. And y’all keep saying she and her family are dumb Norwegian farmers. That it was a gong they got from that King.” She straightens out her shirt. “But…they were also one of us. And…I don’t know if y’all been down south? Like…Deep South. But…we don’t fight nice.” She looks angry. “We fight fair and square but we don’t mess around.”

“So you think Joe Sr. is en league with the Confederate Army to crosscheck the US Banking system?” asks a Satanist comedian.

“Actually, that’s an interesting plot line.” says a Lake Wobegon Fan.

“Well…not necessarily en league with the Confederate Army. But…more…working with southerners of the past.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Like who?!” asks a journalist.

Lacey’s door moves slightly.

“Like…what if her maternal family that raised her really did plan the Lincoln assassination?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater. “Doesn’t that seem like something they’d think of? Working with Joe to bring you guys to your knees by going for every major vein and/or artery?” She looks at them disdainfully. “Why don’t you take people more seriously? …Not just Lacey, but us? Not all white people are racist. I am. I’ll admit it. But not all white people.”

“Meanwhile black kids are starving in Africa!” says a mega-monied, new money, black actress who likes to seemingly bully people. She’s being serious and she’s being condescending.

“Why do you speak on behalf of o kids? Don’t you profit directly when they’re sold into sex slavery?” asks Lacey of the black actress.

“See! That’s what I’m talking about. Why doesn’t her response freak you guys out?!” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater. “I don’t know, if you profit from them directly or if you’re just friends with people who profit. But…why do you expect us to take you seriously? You’re a joke!”

“Do you have demons or are you just psychic?” asks another black actress of The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“I’m not going to answer that.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Well…I think I’d like to hear from Michael.” says a Fox News host.

“He’ll respond through me.” says Lacey. “And no, he’s not the Anti-Christ. Nor does he condone talking to the dead. Do not try this at home, don’t take this as a precedent and hopefully that’s enough to continue.”

“Is Lem there too?” asks the host.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “Louis would be here but he’s busy. Harold is here though as well.”

“How’s Minnesota?” he asks.

“Cold!” says Lacey. “According to them. I’m used to it, because I grew-up here. I kind of love it now actually.”

“Ask Michael: Why the banking system?” says the host.

“I’m hearing shouts of ‘DFM!’” says Lacey. “Most likely coming from DFM members.” She listens. “There may be a debate. Some people want a more clearly socialist system in the US. Other people are certain that that’s dangerous.” She listens. “Michael says he’s-“

“This is Elliott Roosevelt!” says Elliott as a loud plane flies overhead. “Can I talk?”

“Yes, although I’d like to hear the rest of what Michael has to say. He’s kind of the reason we’re talking right now.” says the host.

“Sure! Certainly!” says Elliott.

“Michael is refusing to acknowledge the Illuminati.” says Lacey.

“He’s snubbing us?!?” asks the host.

Lacey listens. “He’s choosing to. All dead Rockefeller’s are. So are all dead Hill family members. …Of all Hill families in history, potentially.” says Lacey.

Elliott smiles.

“Elliott is that a cue to continue talking to you?” asks the host.

“I have something to say.” says Elliott.

“Why, certainly!” says the host.

“You don’t like me.” laughs Elliott. He smiles. “Listen, my father is involved too.”

“Huh! FDR?” asks the host.

“Yes! Do the names Franklin and Marshall mean anything to you?” asks Elliott.

“Yes! I get the reference.” says the host laughing slightly.

“My father is working with them too. …You guys think you’re so smart with your new fangled technology.” He laughs. “In my day, we had to fight to keep control of the plane so we wouldn’t crash.” He looks thoughtful. “But it taught us something about reality… Gravity exists. You know? It’s violent! It’s a violent force! …And basically, you can’t split an atom without…ending-up where we are today. …Catch my drift?” He waits.

The host thinks. “So basically, you’re saying that the threat of nuclear war is what’s bringing us to our knees?”

“I think that’s a question my father would be far more adept at answering!” he laughs. “But yes, in my opinion it’s…nuclear war.” he says as he laughs. He smiles.

“True!” says the host. “True!”

“I mean you can have a chicken and egg conversation. But essentially, it boils down to power. Who controls the bombs? What controls the bombs? People had forgotten that? Or not?” asks Elliott.

The host laughs. Nods. Sighs.

“So…how does Lacey factor into all of this?!” asks the host.

“She’s right here. I could ask her but she doesn’t know herself.” he says jokingly but not insultingly of Lacey.

The host laughs. “Why do you think she got involved?”

He thinks, bobs his crossed leg. “I don’t know what you’re asking. Do you mean with me? With the establishment? With…this?” He laughs. “You know? Which part?”

“With the Illuminati!” says the host. “They must exist? Right?”

“That’s not a bad question!” Elliot laughs. “You do know why? Right? She was in a horrible marriage and she thought she’d found hope. She thought she’d found joy. She’s learned the hard way in life that…things don’t always work out. Bad marriages are just bad sometimes. Totally dead. And she thought, ‘Hey! Why not explore my chances because you never know!? Maybe I’m not the only one in a truly awful marriage. Maybe he is too!’ And…turns out…if you exist…she found a lot more than she bargained for. And it’s been torture ever since.”

“What’s her role in all this though?” asks the host.

“Her role is to be quiet and listen to the men! Right?!” he says jokingly. “No, her role is just this.”

The host nods in understanding.

“She gets angry. She yells. Most women do.” says Elliott. “But we are her-We may have taken on the role we were meant to have. …If I’m a ghost it would have been as a husband. Or Lem would have been the husband. But he’s being quiet for a reason. A very good reason. And that’s a problem for you isn’t it? Well…she’s got to be accountable to God. Just like you. Just like any human to ever live. And I’m proof if I’m Elliott Roosevelt that God knows what we really think of Him.” He looks serious. “That’s not a threat but it’s good to be genuine. You can’t hide from God.” He thinks. “I’m not threatening anyone. I’m just saying that people need to be accountable. I can’t be accountable nor can you for what someone else has done. Not once you’re dead and not before then either. …Maybe if the Illuminati exists they should stop treating Lacey like a parasite or a menace of any other sort. …She was very much my wife as much as she could be. …But it was too successful. Wasn’t that the problem?! You overheard her being happy?! …She looked pretty on camera too.” He thinks. “Who got jealous?! Was it my ex-wife?! Because that’s who got pitted against her. Every ex-wife you could find that I ever had. Suddenly out of nowhere they all started manifesting. So it was dangerous… And I made a mistake.” He looks sad. “Seemingly. She only mostly knows. …And you all thrive on that? It’s sick.” He looks sad. “I don’t want to attack you personally. I just don’t think the gang called the Illuminati thinks through what they’ve done or are doing these days, if they ever did.” He thinks. “Messing around with the supernatural is very dangerous. If you were my son I’d be terrified for you.” He thinks. “Just don’t be surprised if things start happening that aren’t easy to control. Kids and women with kids who they care about are very vulnerable to control and the Illuminati uses that to every advantage you can think of. …All I’m saying is: Should the Illuminati exist don’t be surprised if we don’t fall for the bullshit you shove down other people’s throats and don’t be shocked if we find every weakness and use for the purposes of justice.”

The host actively listens politely.

“Who’s we?” asks the host.

Elliott smiles. “Me and my Elks Club!” he jokes. “No, me and a lot of other people.” He smiles. “Most of my friends. Lem’s friends. Teddy Roosevelt. Mark.” He laughs. “DFM. A lot of people.” He listens. “F. Scott Fitzgerald says that Lacey was too symbolic to ignore. What happened was too much. It’s not necessarily that it was her…but rather it’s what it speaks to. It’s the canary in the coal mine, type of thing. You can’t ignore it.” He thinks. “But that sounds too enabling to narcissists doesn’t it?” He thinks more. “Like she doesn’t matter at all. And that’s repugnant. The Illuminati thinking that at all is a big part of the problem.” He listens. “Lem says that Michael’s mom reiterates, ‘Why wasn’t her intelligence, should you exist…more concerning?’” He glares. “I don’t think all of you in any potential Illuminati understand: She’s not making this up. We really are angry on her behalf, but that doesn’t give you a right to attack her more. That’s the way this started, if you’ve gathered that? The Illuminati attacked her without any provocation on her side at all. She didn’t even know. It was all just…sci-fi type of stuff to her.” He smiles. “You shouldn’t keep doubling down in wars where you’re losing. Or you’ve already lost.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Well, thank you Elliott!” says the host.

“Thank you!” says Elliott.