Sad Truth

Lacey has no problem being ugly, although she’s not. The Loudest Perfume Hater likely hoped Lacey was insecure and would be flummoxed and angry when she said she eventually ranted on Instagram in 2019 or so about how literally ugly and stupid she was. But…Lacey isn’t egotistical. At all.

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac plays.

Instead Lacey knows rationally that she’s not ugly or stupid based on science. Like…actual factual reality. In fact she knows she’s likely extremely gifted in her beauty and intelligence. Melania Trump is the ideal of beauty today and has been for a few decades. Every Liberal woman who hated on her in a catty was always suspect to Lacey as still is. Because…all Democrats lied about how elegant and pretty Melania was. At least Lacey never saw anyone being honest about it. It was creepy and disturbing because it spoke to the shallowness of their entire intellectual terrain. If they’re the self-proclaimed party of female liberation and sexual freedom…why was such a late 20th Century/Early 21st Century perfect looking woman never calmly identified as such?

Are Democratic or Liberal women objectively uglier? The Loudest Perfume Hater is hideous compared to Lacey and The Loudest Perfume Hater is proudly and self-righteously Liberal. She’s also racist, Southern-Christian-religious and generally loud, pushy, ignorant, idiotic in what she says and just generally obnoxious. Or is she? …As in, did she die of an opioid overdose? She definitely was likely an addict enabled as heroin addicts were by the “perfume community?” One really did overdose. The same “community” that’s so continuously self-righteous about Lacey possibly rightly calling them overly-competitive and bourgeois.

The thing is…Lacey hopes The Loudest Perfume Hater isn’t dead. She actually was concerned about her in that regard. As pushy, loud, incorrect and ignorant as she could be. And actually…who cares, in the best way possible, if The Loudest Perfume Hater was ugly compared to Lacey? To The Loudest Perfume Hater’s significant others she was beautiful. Most likely. That’s the sense Lacey certainly had. And ironically she’s probably been loved more at this point than Lacey has (at least by the living) so…what’s the point? It’s what? Ego? It’s actually a very fascinating thing to consider.

Dreams plays on.

The thing is…women who are almost as pretty as Melania but are more towards stringy and gawky than sleek and elegant Melania is…are often violent. You see them doing psychologically violent poses everywhere. Tilting their heads or glaring viciously into the camera like they are saying, “I AM BEAUTIFUL! I AM BETTER THAN YOU!! BOW DOWN!!” And as a truly straight, tender-hearted, sensitive, empathetic woman Lacey is grossed-out or confused and has eventually become enraged by these genuine psychological terrorists. They’re visual rapist pigs. But their deranged bullshit is celebrated by society as progressive, strong, and most offensively as girly, sexy and glamorous. It’s not. It’s condoned female violence. They’re foul, manipulative predators. But because they’re women they’re allowed, at best, to be Harvey Weinstein. At worst to be serial killers. Because they don’t do it so assertively.

And…like cheap-shit bullies they’re often moronic compared to Lacey, in one of the worst stereotypes possible. Truly moronic. Intellectual lightweights. Real intellectual morons. And almost always their aggression is objectively weak compared to Lacey’s actual might and strength even as she’s objectively more feminine. They’re tiny, self-important lizards and Lacey is a dinosaur.

So should she step on them? It’s so tempting to kill them with one quick smash of her foot they’re SO gross and SUCH a pest. …But Lacey is DEEPLY loving. Very maternal. Incredibly kind and empathetic. So she ALWAYS holds herself back from ripping them apart and tempting them to kill themselves.

“She could have convinced me to kill myself too.“ says JFK. “But…she wouldn’t have.”

“True.” says Lacey.

“Lacey is very dangerous.” says JFK. “If she’s illegitimate it’s just logical. Try actually thinking about it for once.”

“But it rests not on my hate or ego but my love.” says Lacey.

“That sounds stupid!” says a woman who makes people think she’s pretty by insisting on it subconsciously in all her interactions. She’d like to kill Lacey for real but she’s too busy being too skinny, wearing Chanel flap bags and tan denim. She makes a “cute” pose with her legs and tries to be effortlessly intimidating. “I didn’t realize I was literally declaring war on you.” she says to Lacey.

“What the fuck else have you bitches been doing Lacey’s whole life?!? You’d think women’s lib would have taught you that war is war.” says Al Capone. “What are you doing with all these poses? Think!!”

“I’m being pretty for you!” says a particularly violent woman trying to be coy and helpless and sexually arousing.

“SHUT-UP! YOU’RE NOT THAT STUPID! What do you take me for? A country bumpkin with cash to burn, you whore?!” responds Al Capone.

“I think she could take you out!” says a male Gen X Fox News anchor to Al.

“You clown!!” spits Al.

“No! No…Al Capone never existed. These women aren’t just violent, cheap, American whores and Al Capone owned a barbershop in Mayberry. …I don’t think you can handle reality.” says Lacey. “At least not this part of it.”

“Then where’s actual womanhood?” asks the male Fox News anchor.

“Maybe we starting killing off both traditional genders in the 1980’s and 1990’s? Late 1960’s and 70’s?” says Lacey. “Maybe it’s been showing-up in our genetics. In generational micro evolution since the 1960’s? …You’re actually slightly effeminate.” she says to the male Fox News anchor.

“But not gay?” he asks stupidly.

“No! Are you slightly lesbian?” Lacey asks.

He smiles. “No!”

“Actually…a man could be more effeminate than he should be and still be just a man and be straight too. Right?” asks Lacey.

He thinks. “Actually…maybe. But then what is it? Chemical?!? Cultural?” he asks.

“All that and more.” says Michael Rockefeller.

Chemtrails Over The Country Club plays.

“Petroleum is rich with estrogen. But then what happened to women?” asks Lacey.

“No! You all aren’t necessarily as fertile.” says Lem.

“Would Melania have been beautiful in the 1940’s?” asks the Fox News anchor.

“Not as beautiful.” says Ginger Rogers.

“No! She’s not Lana Turner. Or Veronica Lake. It’s subtle but she’s not.” says Edith Head.

Muslims are intrigued. “Is our late 20th Century extremism a reaction to what we observed happening genetically?” the laugh sadly. “Makes sense, doesn’t it?” they say to Lacey.

She sighs. “Do you think it’s oil? And coal?”

“Maybe! But…it’s not a complete explanation necessarily.” the Muslim man says.

“Yes! Very true.” says Lacey.

“Isn’t this just bad news for kids?” asks a Liberal actor of Lacey.

“They’re already being brutally molested in the Illuminati. And in the bullshit-media. I doubt they’re that egotistically-fragile anymore. If they grow-up and righteously slit everyone’s throats I’ll cheer them on.” says Lacey. “Get a fucking clue!!”

“Don’t worry! We’ll indoctrinate them to be nice to us in school as we shit in their faces worse than our parents did. Take away their Earth. Exonerate pedophilic monsters who maybe actually are either better off bullied into safety or their own death. Ruin the economy!!! Act cold and bitchy toward them because ‘Liberal bullshit isn’t bullshit to Boomers’ as they’re basically all just narcissistic dictators. …Let infrastructure literally rot. Encourage billionaires to build plastic bullshit houses that will literally melt or rot badly in future. Once again, destroy land. …Ruin their childhood with extreme anxiety, not many friends, pandemics, death, starvation and more assholes who should possibly be shot.” says a once Democrat black woman. “No! I agree! I wanna help them not destroy themselves. The Boomers just destroyed themselves. …But…I would be proud if they were united and rationally overthrew us in the future. And I will pray for them daily not to fall into the bullshit lies and get confused. Y’all are heinous clowns. Not just clowns. Because…nah. She’s right. These white whores shaking their scrawny asses. Then getting surgery to cover-up for their genetic depravity. Fillers and reductions and such!” *she rolls her eyes* “They don’t look like ME! And they don’t look like Lacey.” (It’s unclear how she knows about Lacey) “They’re liars!!! And then they have kids and hope for the best or bully them if the kids are superior.”

Lacey takes over the entire Illuminati. For the third or fourth time. For God.

“That’s cheesy!” says a Charismatic Christian.

“I dunno. I’m kinda legitimately scared.” says a Kim K. seriously.

Lacey laughs. Lem laughs.

“See…and THIS is the problem we ALWAYS run into.” says the violent woman wearing tan denim and Chanel. She’s somewhat serious. “She preaches to us. We…listen.” She smiles. Orders something chic and gourmet and yummy in Orange County. A moment passes. “But…we are the Illuminati.” She thinks. “And think about what that means… Should we exist. …We’re relatively accustomed to people who think and reason like Lacey. And are usually gifted. And old money of varying degrees. And artistic. And BOLD. By nature or necessity. …The thing is…might makes right? Divine Right of Kings. Real Politik? Or even actual imperialism… All in our wheelhouse. And sometimes we worry about the afterlife because we’ve seen people actually levitate. Or we’ve seen ghosts manifest. And the thing is…we hear her. And…poor people hear her too. And that’s something middle-class people may or may not be able to handle. …I mean, it’s possible she was tricked by some spiritual force into almost dying by falling down the the stairs of her house. And I believe it’s possible Lem Billings actually did save her life with his father.” She thinks. “We aren’t immune to getting hurt. But we are the people who literally run the world. And that’s not scary to her in possibly a similar way to how it’s not scary to us. …But think about it! Could you truly handle us being in your head and almost driving you insane and possibly literally killing you multiple times? And then let me sound so smart? So…knowing? Maternal even. Or would you get totally lost? For years. Be honest.” She thinks. “No? Then that’s the problem with American so-called meritocracy.”

“Too much middle-class infiltration into the American elite?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah. I think so!” says the woman.

More later.

“The thing is…I’m not sure why some Christian people reading this don’t understand that Lacey isn’t able to escape from the Illuminati. She never necessarily meant to join, at all. …It was at least entirely accidental. And…she’s trying to fight them off. She’s not at all interested in joining Satanism. And it looks like nothing much but class warfare against the elite to secretly or openly assume the posture of Christian supremacy against her. …You might want her her to go to Hell for being genuinely superior to you based on human hierarchies where you lose, but that’s evil. You are being evil. YOU are being a witch. Trying to pretend to be Christian when you have sadistic, tone-deaf bloodlust.” says Lacey.

“She’s not attacking you with that paragraph. She’s trying to convict you all of sin.” says a man to the Charismatics.

“I try to be loving. Even open-minded. But…I don’t think I can handle the reality of what I read on this blog.” says Summertime Sadness.

“But you prey on people who need help?” asks a K. Perry of Summertime Sadness. “I mean, if you can’t handle what you read here…why do you pretend to be able to help truly hurting people? Isn’t that…kinda shitty?” She laughs. “For all you know I left the church because of people like you.” She looks at him empathetically. “People who pretend to offer help but are secretly scared.”

“The elite aren’t just a bunch of dumb clucks.” says Lacey. “It’s comforting to think that. But…be careful. If they’re smarter than you in reality…stop being so arrogant.” She thinks. “Ultimately God is smarter than all of us. Don’t think you’re smarter than God. Be very humble. Because every damn mistake you make will mean something to these people should they exist. …They sacrifice things. There’s not much talk of Christ’s redemption, to say the least.” She thinks.

“You’re probably not in the Illuminati.” says a white trailer trash guy to Lacey.

“You know, I certainly hope not. But at the same time…at times they’re also kinder and more honest than most people who say they’re Christians other than Catholics.” says Lacey. “Maybe some Calvinists.” She thinks.

“It’s like they have less to hide.” says the man in rural Virginia.

“Yes! And that’s sad. Isn’t it?! But…the American middle-class is difficult to get along with. At least for me.” says Lacey.

He nods in understanding. Looks sad for America.

“No, you’re legitimately sad.” says Lacey.

“True!” he says smiling and nodding.

They think.

“They don’t understand fear or pain the way we do!” says the black former Democrat.

“They mock people joining the Illuminati and yet…it’s so evil.” says Lacey.

The trailer trash man nods in understanding, smiling. “It’s evil. Yeah.”

“Haven’t they ever faced evil that way?” asks Lacey.

“Maybe not!” says the man thoughtfully. “No, they just don’t see it. It’s just a joke to them.”

“It’s not just a joke to me!” says Summertime Sadness with proud indignation.

“Oh really?!? Am I just a joke to you?!” asks the man. “Are my thoughts just a joke to you?! You say you care, but what you got going for you in reality that way? I don’t mean church. When do you help poor people?”

Summertime Sadness looks at him thoughtfully.

“Don’t be so sure I’m not a ghost. Or a living man in Virginia or Kentucky who is pissed off as Hell!” says the man.

“We were poor.” says Summertime Sadness.

“Okay, but like poor or middle-class and less fortunate?” asks Lacey.

“You’re not poor!” says the man.

“Crud!” says Summertime Sadness.

“So…just…please try to be humble.” says a Catholic to Summertime Sadness.

“What do you guys worship?” asks Summertime Sadness of the Illuminati.

“Baal. Allah. Satan. Buddhism. Some Hinduism.” says a former U.S. President.

“There are elements of Christianity in the Illuminati too.” says another U.S. President.

“The main focus seems to be on Satanism.” says Lacey.

“True!” says an old money man.

“There is a New Age emphasis too!” says a woman.

“Witchcraft of the old sort.“ says an English witch.

“Judaism and Kabbalah.” says an actor.

“But you guys are vicious.” protests a middle class woman.

“They are!” says Lacey. “I’m fighting for my life.”

“Is that funny to you?” asks the middle-class woman vindictively of Lacey.

K. Perry laughs. Lacey laughs.

“Not in a crazy way, per se. But yes!! It’s awful! I’m fighting for my life. But to me and possibly to a woman with the last name Perry it’s funny. Because she knows what they’ve done. And she knows how funny it is to me and possibly why. …I don’t want to die, because of my kids as out of respect for Christ. But…it’s somehow just funny to me. It’s like…my whole life I’ve been told to BE HAPPY!!! And then here they come with reality!” She thinks. “They’re honest and they actually are very fun to talk with at times.” She thinks. “And I can fight for those kids by praying to God about it. It’s nice to fight and be force-fed nonsense that everybody loves me and everything is fine…when in my life it’s possibly actual bullshit.” She thinks more. “In my life. Some people have FAR more love and for them hearing that people love them is possibly helpful.”

“You don’t think your parents love you?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“No! They possibly don’t.” says Michael.

“I can’t answer that.” says Lacey.

“Why?! Because the Illuminati controls you?” asks Summertime Sadness.

The Loudest Perfume Hater laughs.

“No!! Because they’re not people to say that about in this forum. Or elsewhere.” says Louis.

“Oh wow. And they’re Christians?” he asks.

“They’re your kind of Christians.” says Louis. “You’d love their beliefs and theology.”

“She followed you to hear stuff she heard growing-up and reconsider it.” says Michael.

“Crud!” says Summertime Sadness.

“Do you need to apologize for being mean?” asks Louis.

No response.

High Road by Cults plays.

More later.

“Yes! But…she’s either sleeping with men and then she should’ve just been faithful or if she’s sleeping with demons or fallen angels…why?!” asks Summertime Sadness.

“I highly suspect they’re men.” says Lacey. “But I don’t know that. And that’s my HUGE conundrum.”

“Okay, I can’t believe I’m asking this but…what did feel like? Men or something else?!?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Probably men!!” says a Hillary in frustration.

“True!” Lacey hesitates. “The thing is…Lem was a tall man. So…as I think about him it’s a little confusing.” She laughs. “But…no. They’re essentially like men.”

“How are Lem and Michael not like men?!” asks Summertime Sadness.

“They’re both-Actually I’m not sure it is different at all.” says Lacey. “Living men are spiritual beings too, you know? So…they feel spiritually like men, like my ex-husband. But without the easily tangible body.”

“So you’re basically married to a ghost?! But you don’t know that I’m a normal way we know things?” wonders Summertime Sadness.

“Possibly.” says Lacey.

“So…from what you understand it might be actual ghosts not just evil entities a woman or man can have sex with?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Yes! Possibly.” says Lacey.

“So then why don’t you just commit to them?” he asks.

“I don’t want to rebel against God if they’re not ghosts He’s allowing and condoning me being with.” says Lacey.

“I’m so sorry they’ve thrown you down the stairs.” he says to Lacey.

She isn’t impressed. “But you aren’t sorry for being mean yourself?”

“Fine! I’m sorry!” he says.

“That’s not much of an apology.” says Lacey.

He looks sad and then is quiet.

“Look, I’m sorry I don’t know and hurt you if I did.” says Lacey to Summertime Sadness. “If I gave you the impression I’m more available than I am.”

More later.

Lacey drove through a pretty old cemetery today. One of the oldest in her area. And…she thought of Lem.

“I really would love to die at your grave if you’re Lem.” says Lacey to Lem. She prays that if it’s him God will let him hear it.

“Or…where if you’re with me?” asks Michael who may have appeared to her today to comfort her.

“I love Lipstick Rose on you, by the way.” says Michael to Lacey. “You should wear it more often!”

“I might.” says Lacey. She thinks. “In an art museum.” says Lacey. “I literally want to die of a quick, sudden heart-attack or stroke in an art museum, or in my sleep in Minnesota, or by Lem’s grave. Quick, elegant drop to the ground. Maybe in front of a French artist from the 19th or 20th Century.” She thinks. “But my kids need to be there or be able to quickly and safely access my body.”

“You’re right!” says Michael.

“And if I can’t get you to my grave, where then?” asks Lem.

“Watching Mad Men.” says Lacey.


Slow Down Love by Louis The Child plays.

“I’m done. Let’s go.” says Louis to Lacey.

“Which one of you do I belong to?” asks Lacey.

Harold Loeb, Lem Billings, Michael Rockefeller, and Louis Hill Jr. walk up to Lacey dressed in suits. Well-tailored, elegant Midcentury attire.

Sunday by D. J. Sunday plays.

It’s really me.” says Lem.

“Do you all find someone you like better than me then?” asks Lacey of the others.

“Yes!” says Louis.

“Even you, Michael?” Lacey worries.

“Not until you’re safe with Lem. But…it’s eternity. And it’s safer that way.” says Michael.

“Me too.” says Louis.

“But I keep falling in love accidentally with Michael and Louis.” says Lacey.

Lem nods sadly.

“Can I avoid that?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” says Lem.

Fall In Love by Phantogram plays.

“Let’s be tired. Tired and rebellious.” says Lem to Lacey. “Not rebellious of God, but just rebellious.”

And at that Lacey feels the other-side.

See…in college there was a young man she always had wanted to meet. He was the son of someone and the way he was described he sounded like her ideal type of young man. But they never met.

Road to Perdition by Thomas Newman plays.

She never ever saw photos of him. Just heard his name. Heard people talk about him.

YET…ever since then…she’s had images of him in her head. She’s seen him move. Talk. Almost as if she imagined him the way she “imagines” ghosts. And for over ten years she’s always wondered on the rare occasion what he actually looks like.

Today on Facebook she got curious and tracked him down. Through a friend of a friend who posted a photo. And…he’s almost exactly as she imagined. He might have been slightly better looking in her mind but not by much.

But same…personality. Same everything down to coloring, height, hair texture. Style. Manner. Etc.. It’s…way too bizarre that she saw him.

And…a couple of years ago…he visited her claiming to be a ghost from the future who was concerned about her. He’s supposedly extremely smart. …How he figured out time traveling in the afterlife (?) is certainly intriguing. …But…regardless…it’s just too weird. I mean…how did she see him in her mind…before ever seeing him?

Maybe that wasn’t his ghost who visited a while back but the whole thing is too weird to not mean something to Lacey. I mean…it was him she saw. Not a concept. Or a type. Him.

No, that’s too weird…

Suddenly it puts everything into clearer perspective.

“You need to eat!” his future ghost yelled at her. Just a few minutes ago. It seemed unnecessary.

But just now she physically realizes she’s hungry. Also actually kind of creepy.

“Everyone already knows an Illuminati exists if it does.” says Zelda.

“Which is why I feel like giving-up. Not suicide. But just…I’m hungry, my nose is stuffed-up. I’m tired.” says Lacey.

“It’s time for bed!” says Lem.