Blood In The Cut by K.Flay plays.

(Adult content below)

“Hey! Hey!” says Summertime Sadness.

“Hey!” says Michael Rockefeller politely but cheerfully.

“So…I don’t know if you’re a ghost or a demon…but…just in case you’re a ghost I just want to share something super exciting with you.” says Summertime Sadness.

“What’s that?” asks Michael confused by playing along to be nice.

“Oh! Jesus loves you. That’s all.” he grins showing his teeth, laughs, smiles, frames his face with his hands to look cute in a silly way.

“Yeah! You know…if I’m a ghost I probably know whether or not He exists on a scientific level even.” says Michael.

Summertime Sadness shrugs.

“Is that all?” asks Michael pleasantly. He has things to do. But then Michael worries he’s not worshipping God enough so he adds, “I mean, it’s not as if I don’t love being able to enjoy God’s love in His presence. It’s more that I drowned and a great many people I loved deeply mourned me-“

But Summertime Sadness isn’t listening. Summertime Sadness is checking his phone. He picks up his phone and texts someone with a concerned look on his face. Whatever is being said must be of the utmost importance. He furrows his brow and then moves the phone to his side. Then Summertime Sadness smiles and sighs. Grins. Blinks.

Michael looks at Summertime Sadness like he’s been a bit rude.

“Oh my gosh! Sorry! I’m so sorry. I offended you.” says Summertime Sadness.

“That’s okay. You had an important conversation to attend to, it seems.” says Michael Rockefeller to Summertime Sadness.

“Yeah! Girlfriend!” says Summertime Sadness casually.

Can You Hear Them Sing? by Cemeteries plays.

“I’m confused. Are you trying to tell me you have a girlfriend to show-off? To get me to tell Lacey hoping she’ll be hurt? Or are you just extremely excited for your first girlfriend and this was your way of telling me?” asks Michael.

“Michael’s just hurt. Lacey is probably at home weeping and dude you’re golden!” says Mr. Blue. “Congratulations on your first girlfriend, man!”

“Either demons or Mr. Blue through demons inspired parts of your live to harass me last night. Truly. …Stop attacking Catholics. They understand things that you don’t about the supernatural. And they aren’t Mormons, you fool! …And Michael talks to me while I’m awake. …You’re so narcissistic.” says Lacey angry.

“But they’re Catholics!” Summertime Sadness fumes. Totally ignoring Michael and Lacey in effect.

“See…I’m a jerk too. But at least I would never make the intellectual mistake of saying Mormons are Christians in some politically correct nonsense. Mitt Romney can’t intimidate me nor can his wife with her tears, into lying. …No. Catholics are Christians, Summertime Sadness. …And when I had a semi-girlfriend I advertised her. Heartlessly maybe if Lacey ever liked me. But…you don’t seem to get it, lad. …You want to hurt her.” says Thirsten Snotgrass. “You’re the one who’s obsessed with getting even? And for what reason? Your ego? What? …But you’re the one who’s toxic. She writes you into her blog. But you’ve never followed her or openly admitted to reading this blog, which is actually very immature to begin with.” He looks him in the eye. “I’m a man. I’m probably old enough to be your father. And I had her phone number. We talked for hours. …What did the two of you even do?” Then, from the future after death, he winks at Summertime Sadness kindly.

Can You Hear Them Sing? plays on.

Mrs. Blue weeps, rocking herself. Mrs. Blue of the Bat Crew, that is. And Summertime Sadness’s girlfriend looks uncomfortable in her spirit.

“I hurt you? Or Lem hurt you?” asks Michael of Summertime Sadness. “Or you hurt yourself?” He looks at Summertime Sadness. “Last summer.”

“If you’re not sleep paralysis, what in the world are you talking about?” asks Summertime Sadness probably playing dumb.

“We hurt you!” says Lem to Summertime Sadness. “You had a crush on Lacey? And what? You never did much about it? Or did Mr. Blue set her up to think you had a crush on her? …The way you chatted with her in private messages and invited her to Tik Tok lives when you don’t invite or didn’t invite people precariously at random was…confusing. Also you had a vibe about you of interest. …But regardless, my questioning you is the point. She didn’t know. She didn’t know! …And in your 30’s that kind of emotional bullshit is easier to recognize as bullshit. If you don’t pursue someone clearly at her age it’s beyond annoying. …At least for someone who doesn’t fight reality.” says Lem.

“Already!” says Summertime Sadness self-righteously.

Michael rolls his eyes.

“Why do you think she’s so evil?!? …Are you?!” asks Michael. “Was your bizarre, obsessive need to try to make a point last night by inviting her to a live where you planned to have your girlfriend text you so you could off-handedly mention her…unhealthy and mean? Yes! You preached all last night while planning to underhandedly try to harass her? Totally out of the blue? Or because, again, you’re impressed with her and you’re a typical, ego driven pastor-narcissist?”

“Or did your girlfriend want to rub it in Lacey’s face because she’s worried Lacey is a threat? Or because there’s something psychologically wrong with you and you’re scaring her and she wanted Lacey to know you’re taken? Are you a cheating or dysfunctional jerk who’s making your girlfriend paranoid by your constant inappropriate behavior with women? …Or does your girlfriend did your immature girlfriend want to rub it Lacey’s face out of narcissistic cruelty because she’s proud she’s won?” asks Lem. “Was it her idea? And if so you’re potentially dating an actual bitch. Unless you’re making her paranoid. …You’ve been a heartless asshole to Lacey in my opinion. Should you have had a crush on her. A competitive freak at times.” Lem breathes. “And I think you and your girlfriend and your enablers if that’s what’s going on…are headed for a miserable life or you’ll just turn into Mr. Blue, the way you’re behaving.”

“Yeah, but like…she’s still obsessed with Summertime Sadness right? Like…it’s so obvious she’s a stalker?” says Summertime Sadness’s girlfriend?

“Are you ugly compared to Lacey like Mr. Blue’s wife?” asks a Satanist in the Illuminati. “Actually, Summertime Sadness are you less manly than Lem and Michael? Two ghosts?”

“You know they’re real and you’re proud to be hurting me? Because you’re a self-important, shallow twat?” Lacey asks Summertime Sadness. “Because you know it’s hard to love ghosts. You intellectually get that. It’s not stupid to you. …And…so you’re smart enough to know it could be real but you’re a twat who focuses on your ego and you habitually decide my real deep pain like other actual suffering people is nothing compared to your emotional paper-cuts?”

“Yeah, I’m ugly compared to Lacey.” says his girlfriend.

“I’m not less masculine.” says Summertime Sadness.

“That’s not true.” says Lacey. “I thought you were initially when I first followed you, but you come across as a petty bitch now.”

“Are you a closeted lesbian?” the Satanist in the Illuminati asks Summertime Sadness’s girlfriend.

“Some of your theology is asinine. And some of it is right on.” says a dead Norwegian once in the Sons of Norway to Summertime Sadness.

“Which parts!? Give a total account in five seconds! If you don’t you can’t possibly be right.” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass in the afterlife, mocking himself on Tik Tok. “I want time receipts for all your thoughts and three translations for reference!”

“Summertime Sadness, we don’t hate you. We just can’t figure out what in the world you want or wanted from Lacey. And that’s not fair. …And now you’re poor girlfriend has admitted honestly that she’s ugly compared to Lacey in front of the actual Illuminati should it exist. …Even if she is…that’s…not a great start to your relationship.” says Lem. “Maybe openly acknowledged relationships aren’t meant to be used as weapons? Huh?”

“Is Summertime Sadness…short?” asks a dead Rockefeller.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“I am too!” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.

“Yeah, that’s not sexually attractive to me.” says Lacey. “But I’ve made exceptions because I’m not shallow.”

“Do you think Summertime Sadness is insecure?” asks his girlfriend, seriously.

“He’s obviously insecure.” says Lacey. “At first he doesn’t come across that way. But I’m sorry, maybe I should assume…but he seems obviously insecure to me now.”

Fall In Love by Phantogram plays.

“Do I seem insecure?” she asks Lacey.

Lacey feels as though this young woman is just trying to play obnoxious mind-games now but out of kindness she takes her seriously, “Yes. Very?” Lacey responds.

“I win!! I WIN!! …I do. …You were supposed to offer to suck my dick like the other women do in my direct messages. …And honestly…I might not have entertained your sexual obsession with me. …But…it’s weird that you played it the way you did, you Catholic heathen.” says Summertime Sadness to Lacey.

“Yeah! I agree.” says his girlfriend.

“Yeah, I mean…she’s such a bunny boiler. But like…she doesn’t ever do anything violent. And she’s so disinterested all the time. Like…we’ve resorted to stalking her out of empathy for the last five to six years. Not like all the time because we have lives, right? But…every once and while we check-in just to be kind.” says Mrs. Blue on behalf of the Bat Crew. “I mean it’s like why is she making us do her stalking for her? That’s so lazy and retarded.”

“I’m sorry. She’s a menace.” says Mr. Blue seriously to Summertime Sadness.

“Yeah, it’s like…why is she soo in love with us?” asks Summertime Sadness of Mr. Blue seriously. “I had feelings for her…-“ he starts.

“So did I!” says Mr. Blue.

“Yeah? So we both got played?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Do you think she just has an obsession with famous people?” asks Mr. Blue of Summertime Sadness. “I mean…it’s a clinical disorder.”

Summertime Sadness thinks. “Has she ever actually approached you in person?”

“I’m not going to answer that! My lawyers say I can’t.” says Mr. Blue.

“Even on this blog? Facetiously.” says Summertime Sadness.

“We are real people.” says Mr. Blue.

“Not necessarily on this blog. It’s art.” says Summertime Sadness.

“I’m art on this blog, even if Wobbly has admitted that Lem might not have been gay. And that’s reality. …And…she only knows that because I’m real?” says Mr. Blue.

“She was talking to them psychically before she met you. Because they’re spiritual entities. …Are all Illuminati members clinically schizophrenic?” asks Summertime Sadness. “Don’t you all talk to ghosts?”

“Fine! It wasn’t me that helped her talk to them accidentally. …And no. She’s never approached me in person.” says Mr. Blue.

“Okay. Has she ever called you at home?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“My wife’s lawyer has advised her not to answer that.” says Mr. Blue.

“Okay, but seriously. Has she?” asks Summertime Sadness of Mr. Blue.

“No!! She wrote me three emails years ago. One was a fan message that was totally normal. Nothing weird. Just, ‘I like your show.’ And then one was a random one about the dangers of Catholic spiritualism. Just like three sentences warning me that it was dangerous. And then there was one last email in 2017 giving me her phone number and faking that she’d sent me the second email by accident.” he says. “Also, it was like…’Oops. I’ll never write you again.’”

“Total weirdo!!” says Mrs. Blue struggling to speak clearly. “I was soo freaked-out by the third message. Like…what’s next!? Every time it was scary. I was soo scared, you guys!”

Summertime Sadness smiles to himself. “So…she hasn’t sent any emails since 2017?”

“Umm. No. Why? Three emails is a HUGE DEAL!!!” says Mr. Blue in his spirit. “And 2017 wasn’t that long ago.”

“2017 was like…six years ago.” says Summertime Sadness.

“Six years isn’t that long when you’re in your 40’s.” says Mr. Blue.

“That’s insane, dude.” says Summertime Sadness to Mr. Blue. “You and your wife seem…insane.”

“She always says that. And I’m like…why don’t you let down your guard and let the Bat Crew finally kill you and your kids?” asks Mr. Blue in his spirit. “If you’re really over me…just let go and be my friend! Why don’t you trust me? I don’t try to conjure demons to torture you? She’s so desperate and deranged!”

“You seem normal to the public though.” says Lacey to Mr. Blue.

“The entire Bat Crew does.” says Mrs. Blue.

“Dude…three emails?!? And the first two weren’t necessarily sexual at all. Like…sexual attraction but…not at all openly expressed. Not even implied. Like…totally chaste. …And then the third was a weird apology where she managed to sneak in her phone number?” asks Summertime Sadness. “But the third wasn’t even openly sexual. The third was chaste too.” Summertime Sadness stares at him. “And that’s it! That’s all she’s EVER done.” He laughs…closes his mouth and smiles. “Come on, dude.” He looks him in the eyes. “That’s not what this is about.” He laughs again. Looks thoughtful. “You’re in WAY over your head.”

Slow Life by Grizzly Bear plays.

Then Homage by Mild High Club plays.

Summertime Sadness and Mr. Blue sit on metal baseball bleachers. Somewhere in their spirits. On a cloudy but temperate day. They both wear hooded sweatshirts.

“Why do you not admit it?” asks Summertime Sadness. “You contacted her through the Illuminati. And those interactions not the normal ones that basically don’t even exist…are what make your wife cry.”

They look at each other.

“Dude…she didn’t con you. You conned yourself.” says Summertime Sadness.

Mr. Blue thinks.

“And when was the last time she found you attractive telepathically?” asks Summertime Sadness. “Or through astral projection? Or whatever it is.”

“She’s never stalked you. But also, there’s no evidence she’s ever even found you attractive.” says Joe Jr.. He looks at Mr. Blue seriously. “She’s innocent, but she also thoroughly covered her ass, on instinct.”

“She’s been trying to break it off with me completely since 2017.” says Mr. Blue seriously.

“So your wife is hurt because you were interested. And you had what? Astral projection sex?!?” asks Summertime Sadness. He fights off laughter. He calms himself. “You know, I had a pornography addiction.” He thinks. “And as a Christian I wouldn’t be surprised if I had accidental sex in my spirit too with some of those stars. I mean, we’re not supposed to watch that for a reason.” he says. He thinks. “Did you do that too…but…you’re taking it way more seriously than is appropriate? …It’s not like you two ever dated. Or even met in person. And you’re not a ghost.”

Mr. Blue can barely stand to be in his own skin he’s so angry. He’s outraged.

“See…that’s weird if she’s stalking you. Could you be stalking her?” Summertime Sadness asks.

Summertime Sadness thinks.

“Also…gut sense: You used her? You hurt her? She just got over you?” asks Summertime Sadness of Mr. Blue.

“Yup!” says Mr. Blue. “Dude!! The posts she’d write about me! It was…so…”. He thinks. “I felt SO special.”

Summertime Sadness cries. “Umm…I know.”

They both think.

“You know maybe in this case she really thought you truly were. But then you proved otherwise.” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass. “Some authors and politicians and artists…have a way of making their lovers feel that way. Actually, making everyone they love feel that way. It can probably be faked by evil people like that too…but…when she truly believes it it’s probably all the more overwhelming.”

“She actually does love people though.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “She’s not faking it.”

The Loudest Perfume Hater sighs sadly in her spirit. She still occasionally believes Lacey somehow indicated romantic love or attraction for her.

“I never found you remotely attractive. And I never indicated that! Ever. You imagined that.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater sincerely and exasperated. “Do hallucinate at times? Or imagine things? …It was never real. Truly. You truly imagined all of it.”

“Do you really want me to think that?” she asks of Lacey.

“Yes! You’re insane for thinking I don’t want you to believe that I neverever…in reality or anywhere else found you at all attractive to me.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater. “It’s sick that you’d ever think I was attracted to you romantically or sexually at all at this point. …It’s gross and deranged. I never did or said anything to indicate that in any way. Ever. Truly. …Stop – and I’ve said this before – stop believing your psychotic delusions about me, at least in that way.”

“No!!!! No!!!! You find her attractive!!!” fumes Mr. Blue to Lacey about The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“I’ve imagined sex with you many times!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater to Lacey seriously, as if that proves something.

“That’s interesting. I’ve woken-up from nightmares where you were raping me. But it was actual rape.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Take your hands off of me!!!” yells Summertime Sadness as he has Charismatic “prayer warriors“ pray to distance him from Lacey and her supposed witchcraft attacks.

“My hands aren’t on you.” says Lacey to Summertime Sadness. “I’m not attacking you at all.” She thinks. “I rarely ever think of you, to be honest. And when I do it’s to pray for you to Jesus Christ. I’m not a witch.”

“Then how’s he being channeled?!” asks a redneck, hateful man who believes Lacey is a prostitute because his grandmother was one and he’s socially total trash. He’s a literal grandson-of-a-bitch?

“Was your family involved in actual witchcraft?” asks the Illuminati of this “prayer warrior.”

“Maybe. Is the actual Illuminati channeling me?” he asks.

“Can you read?!?” asks the American old money of the so-called “prayer warrior.” “It’s obviously not her. Or if she is…she isn’t involved in any intentional witchcraft. And why now? Summertime Sadness was making headway reasoning with Mr. Blue.”

“Am I hearing from you? When I think I’m heading from God at times?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Oh! Most certainly!” says Lacey to Summertime Sadness. “So what about you? Are you a wizard?!”

“I wanted to say to Mr. Blue that he’s being a fool. He’s obviously the obsessive freak. Not Lacey. And he’s obviously the stalker should the Illuminati exist. And he obviously attacked Lacey using his Illuminati privileges because he felt offended for malignantly narcissistic reasons that Lacey wasn’t more diminished by him. I think hurting people who threaten his ego is the only reason he has for living mostly, if not completely.” says Summertime Sadness.

Summertime Sadness thinks.

“If the Illuminati doesn’t exist…then you aren’t reading this, Mr. Blue. Because why would you be. Truly. That’s…so unlikely.” says Summertime Sadness. He thinks. “And if she’s never ever contacted you other than through three non-sexual, intellectually oriented emails years ago…then no she’s far from being a stalker. …And again…why are you reading this blog? That’s SO genuinely incriminating in and of itself. It SO points to you being in the Illuminati and them being stupid as fuck in how they’ve handled you.” He thinks. “We hear spiritually that she’s a prostitute but…it doesn’t actually make any logical sense. And I have a feeling in her case we cling to it, if we do, because it makes us feel better about ourselves egotistically. But…I need to be far more careful to filter my words-of-knowledge and so do other Christians.”

“So I got rejected by Lacey Rockefeller?” scoffs Mr. Blue. “Because I couldn’t handle my station in life.” he scoffs. “And the Illuminati ate my heart out because I found her more genuinely beguiling than she found me. And I shit her in face daily for over a year. And used my friends to try to destroy her and her family. Because they are scared…and…I’m protected by blackmail. And…now…because I’m a malignant narcissist I…can’t recover.” He thinks. “I should have unionized.” he says, slightly losing his mind.

“Actually it could be Lacey Billings. Or Lacey Loeb. Or Lacey Hill.” says JFK. “Or Lacey Rockefeller. …But she’s just imagining things? Like she imagined loving my actual older brother?”

“Uh…okay.” says Mr. Blue. “Then I got played?”

“By joining the Illuminati?” asks Lacey of Mr. Blue.

“Yeah! It’s so obvious. But I can’t stand it. I know I might be going to Hell. But I just can’t stand it.” says Mr. Blue to Lacey.

“Dude…why did you sleep with her in any way?! If she’s way out of your league and Batgirl I and II were hurt because they thought she was winning your heart somehow…then…why sleep with her? That’s so dumb!” says a Fox News anchor.

“Because she’s out of my league but still sort of alternative and different than the women who are after my money in person. And I bought into that, partially because my Bat Crew insisted on it, but…no. That’s partly where the whole Marilyn reincarnated thing came from. Because she was and maybe still is that genuinely hot but she’s got like…grandma vibes or something. And it’s creepy how she seems and seemed so aware of the Kennedy’s of the past who have died like she knew them.” says Mr. Blue.

“So…you bought into the idea that now that you’re a big deal your wife and mistress weren’t good enough?” asks the Fox News anchor.

“Yes! I did. In a way.” says Mr. Blue.

“But that’s not…quite right. Because you apparently believed that because your wife and mistress had that fear.” the female Fox News anchor says. “So why did you feed into that? Because if she wasn’t even like that you just hurt them and then hurt Lacey with your assault on her character.”

“Because it made sense to them. She was that hot. And it’s probably one of their worst fears.” says Mr. Blue.

“They fear that some woman hotter than them will steal you now that you’re more rich and famous?” asks the Fox News female anchor.


“Yes.” says Mr. Blue to Fox News to answer. Yes, yes his wife and possible other partners worry he’s going to fall for someone hotter who will steal him. Or they did.

“Did Lacey understand that?” asks Fox News of Mr. Blue.

“No!!!” says Lacey. “I mean I know that that’s a thing that happens to people in his situation but no. I wouldn’t ever assume their attacks are motivated by that emotional state.”

“Even their attacks on your beauty, integrity, intelligence, etc.?” asks Fox News.

“He doxxed you on behalf of his wife and mistresses?!? In the Illuminati!!?” asks a Christian. “Because they insisted you were stealing him out of some privileged state of higher-level natural beauty?”

“I think it’s possible.” says Lacey calmly and objectively. She thinks. “No, I highly doubt I’m an idiot. But I just…wouldn’t assume so so insulting me was automatically insecure.” She thinks. “The thing is…a lot of less attractive women have bested me repeatedly in life with men. Since childhood.” She thinks. “My beauty has rarely ever won me anything. …I mean sexual assault from pedophilic adults, obsessed, violent lesbians and bisexual women, and rapist female peers who attacked me out of jealousy and their own possible sexual issues. But…never much affection from men.”

“Because you have a soft chin-line and smaller boobs.” says a Millennial actress.

“That’s possible. Sadly.” says Lacey. “I don’t have a double-chin but I’m very feminine and delicate.”

“Fuck!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater, feeling both aroused and violently narcissistically offended.

High Road by Cults plays.

“Well, that’s unwanted attention dear.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yeah!! I like big tits!” says Summertime Sadness. “Long, straight blond hair. Light blue eyes. Big lips. No wrinkles. …She works-out but not too much. She wears the coolest clothes. But not like…obnoxiously. She’s just…an American dream.”

“Like a blond, German girl on the farm next door!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“Yeah? Okay? Or her father mines with my father.” says Summertime Sadness.

“That’s romantic!” says Lacey to Summertime Sadness.

“You hate me!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater to Lacey. “Like your lack of interest in my responses to you was because I bored you and you didn’t even want to talk to me at all.”

“Not because I was shy and overwhelmed by you?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah. You’re not shy in that way at all. Are you?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

Lacey sighs. “No. I can be shy. But not in that way. That’s not my personality. I never play hard to get. It’s just…not at all in my wheelhouse. I don’t even understand why people do.”

Michael Rockefeller smiles.

“She’s not like that, Casi. At all.” he says seriously.

“She’s not loose. But she’s more of a sweethearted martyr.” says Louis. “Always concerned genuinely with other people’s feelings out of genuine empathy.”

“No, I’m not queer.” says Lacey.

“So you hated me?!?” says The Loudest Perfume Hater forcefully.

“Do you feel like you have a similar personality to Janis Joplin?” asks a Boomer of Lacey.

“Possibly! Although I’m not queer. And her personality doesn’t just belong to queerdom.” says Lacey. “Grow-up! Please. Stop draining humanity if its brains.”

“I can outsmart you using bullshit though!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater to Lacey.

“You can confuse the shit out of me and raise my cortisol levels.” says Lacey. “But is that smart or violent and really desperate? I’d say violent and desperate more likely.”

“So you hate me?!?” The Loudest Perfume Hater demands self-righteously.

“Can you believe what I want to say in response or will you twist it based on other people’s problems?” asks Lacey.

The Loudest Perfume Hater shrugs and cries.

“Okay. I don’t hate you. Truly.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater. “I…found you totally obnoxious.” Lacey thinks. “You’re self-important, you went on and on and on. You used the & sign to be cute. But it was soo annoying to me. Because why the fuck would I find you cute?! That’s a HUGE assumption. …You are blind to your own OBVIOUS faults and you appraise yourself above people who far superior to you, just honestly speaking. You are a pushy, aggressive, babbling moron but you have the gross stupidity to BELIEVE you’re a what? A poet?” She thinks. “You seemed like nothing but a trashy bullshit artist…or were.” Lacey thinks. “But I felt truly empathetic for you. Because you’re what? Mildly autistic? Neglected? Narcissistically unaware yourself and retarded?” Lacey thinks. “And if The Bat Crew hadn’t gotten involved you’d have been able to get by without losing your shit, so to speak. And I’d have kept confusing you with my cold but polite responses on Instagram.”

She laughs. “I like shy women.”

“Like women who play with your head?” asks Lacey of The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yes!” she says, forced to be nivr

“Why?!?” asks Lacey.

“Because I assume everyone finds me attractive. And they seem like a challenge.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“So you’re super confident and yet…gentle and always super happy and loving? And you hold no grudges nor expect faithfulness from your parents for eternity? …Because now the They are attacking me by insinuating you’re just like Lem Billings. Because you’re both Aries.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater. “And they’re trying to make your love of being played with emotionally why Lem was gay and loved Jack.”

“I honesty kind of doubt Lem was gay.” The Loudest Perfume Hater says seriously. “And their relationship was total fucking shit from what I’ve read about it. They’re socially desperate fucks.” She smiles. “You really are concerned about me. Why?”

Lacey laughs thoughtfully. “It’s not romantic or sexual.” She looks concerned. “Because you seem…lost. And possibly it’s some lingering memory of Christian friends who were lost as they aged. You remind me of them. …All that hope and joy we had that was lost as we found out that life wasn’t what the Boomers promised it was.”

“Like the photos of me as a young woman compared to me as an older adult?” she asks.

“Yes! I relate to that internal dying process.” says Lacey. “And it just concerned me.”

“Huh. Yeah.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

High Road by Cults plays.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you at all. But no, I just don’t find women attractive. Maybe I’d have thought you less obnoxious if I did. …I really don’t know you other than how you act on Instagram.” says Lacey to The Loudest Perfume Hater. “That being said, I don’t trust you. But…if you’re genuinely not just a rapist bitch, I’m sorry if I hurt you.” She smiles. “Don’t stop trying to have faith in Christ regardless.” She thinks more. “I’m not Christ.”

Sodus by Cemeteries plays.

“Mr. Blue…no…I wasn’t after your money.” says Lacey.

“Lacey, what were you after from Mr. Blue?” asks Fox News.

“I didn’t think he was so far removed from his public persona and I thought he might be someone who could love me.” says Lacey.

“So you had a tentative understanding of your beauty, at best. And…it just totally mentally drained you to figure out what was going on psychologically and psychically?” asks Fox News to Lacey.

“It made no sense. He’s so different from his public persona.” says Lacey. “So yes.”

“What’s he really like?” asks Fox News.

“Should the Illuminati exist and should you really be Fox News he’s a nerd, but very insecure about it. He’s a seeming HUGE drug addict. A pedophile. A massively bitter, insecure, obsessive, lying, malignantly narcissistic egomaniac. …He has loyalty to his wife to his credit possibly. But it seemed to be loyalty not romantic love. Actually, he even basically said that. …He’s a total shallow materialist who doesn’t give two shits about anyone for the most part. It’s all about getting prestige, glamour and money and power for him. He’s basically a heartless fake. He uses the Democratic Party to attack people from a fake moral high ground. But he has extremely old-fashioned, lower-class, outdated, misogynistic, trashy, hateful and jaded thinking. He’s the worst aspects of the Republican Party with no moral compass, save for some vague Christianity that he still is haunted by on occasion. …He’s effeminate, not straight, and possibly even non-binary.” She thinks. “He sleeps with both the men and women on his show. And he manipulates and connives his way through everything.” She thinks more. “He’s a total real scumbag.” She thinks more. “He hurts lots of people by sleeping with them and then dumping them like they’re nothing.” She thinks.

“So he’s like Harvey Weinstein?” asks Fox News.

“Harvey Weinstein was legitimately a big deal. And my interactions with Harvey Weinstein weren’t ever all that unpleasant. He’s not safe. But he always makes sense.” She thinks. “He might be two-faced and dangerous even. …But again, it’s seemingly rational.”

“Did Harvey Weinstein ever come on to you?” asks Fox News of Lacey.

Of course he did.” says Lacey. “But he never forced himself on me. And I always said no.” She thinks. “He maybe did something I’m not consciously aware of in the Illuminati to protect me spiritually because he felt sorry for me. But…he understood I wasn’t really interested. …And…I never felt hurt by him or personally attacked.” She thinks. “I think he’s possibly more old-school, occasionally genuinely nice chauvinist than new Mr. Blue-demon-out-of-Hell.”

“He did have a beautiful wife.” says Fox News. “Who seemingly actually loved him.”

“Yes! …And Hollywood intellectuals liked him.” says Lacey.

“Yet…we’ve crucified him very historically and very publicly but Mr. Blue continues to get more positive attention and more praise and more public trust.” says Fox News.

“Yes! Because he hides behind the progressive Democrats. And uses them.” says Lacey. “He plagiarized one of my blog posts about him attacking me. And then threw it in my face. …But almost none of his writing that I’ve seen was written by him anyway. He has ghost writers who make him seem smarter than he is.”

“He does portend to be a sort of grand public intellectual.” says Fox News to Lacey about Mr. Blue.

“He does. But apparently it’s all a sham.” says Lacey.

“In his defense, why didn’t you realize he was just reacting on a certain level to how freaked-out the Bat Crew was? Batgirl III is a supposed heroin addict. And she claimed to have almost overdosed several times while he gave you the impression he was falling in love with you to use you.” says Fox News to Lacey.

“She attacked me and then his entire posse claimed he was trying to basically brutally kill me through bullying when I questioned if Batgirl III was a heroin addict.” says Lacey.

“Like he never actually found you attractive?” asks Fox News of Lacey.

“Yes! But it never felt logical…so I ignored it to some degree. Because…if it was true…why would I care?” asks Lacey. “Except it creates a reality, based not just mine but on other Illuminati violence issues, where a great deal of you should all be beheaded for failing to be Americans. Because you’re essentially just psychologically incompetent terrorists with way too much secret power for your own good.” She thinks. “But I didn’t want to be that grim or hopeless in my analysis. So…I still secretly wondered and still do wonder if Batgirl III was just a heroin addict.”

“And if we’re not all just hopelessly deranged retards?” asks Fox News.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “It’s so stupid. I felt legitimately sorry for her.”

“She didn’t want your pity!” says Fox News to Lacey.

“It’s empathy not pity.” says Lacey.

“But Lacey, if it’s empathy than Mr. Blue was just an asshole and then you might not be after his money. And those concepts are too difficult for a fragile heroin addict like Batgirl III to handle.” says Fox News. “Or were.”

“And then she’d do what? Kill herself? Isn’t she a motherless pedophile? And my life didn’t matter?!?” responds Lacey. “So her feminine fragility mattered more than mine that’s far greater and far more authentic.”

“To the Illuminati at that time, yes.” says Fox News.

“Oh! How bright and shrewd!” says Lacey sarcastically. “That such bourgeois, unaware bullshit.”

“Was the pandemic started because we made that choice?” asks Fox News of Lacey.

“I stood in my bedroom trying to reason with you like I am now. And a ghost told you through me that he was going to blow you up if you persisted.” says Lacey. “And that was in 2017 or 2018.”

“Any idea who that was?” asks Fox News of Lacey.

“At the time I thought it might be Joe Junior.” says Lacey.

“Do you still think that?” asks Fox News.

“Mostly.” says Lacey.

They sigh.

“See…the thing is…she was really close to committing suicide.” says Fox News to Lacey.

“Why? Because I was prettier than her?!“ says Lacey. “That’s a stupid reason isn’t it? Or was there something deeper attached?”

“It is a stupid reason to kill yourself.” he says. “But lets remember she was unwell and they were worried Mr. Blue was starting to be taken away from them by beautiful women.”

“Why did they care? He’s a piece of shit as a man from what I know of him. And don’t they know him better than I do?” asks Lacey. “Or are they gold diggers who felt the economic benefits slipping away from them?”

“I think Batgirl III was truly in love with Mr. Blue possibly.” says Fox News.

“And Mrs. Blue humored her out of sympathy and for convenience and etc..” says Lacey.

“She has no idea the pain I went through!” yells Batgirl III.

“You thought he’d actually marry you?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. To some degree, yes.” says Batgirl III.

Lacey takes a deep breath. “Wow! That’s awful.” says Lacey dryly, because she’s irritated that it’s taken millions of deaths and trouble for Batgorl III to just admit something simple.

“Yeah, like…seven years.” says Lem.

“Eight?” wonders Lacey, with a headache.

“So you care?” asks Batgirl III.

“Yes. You’re not going to get out of Hell by killing yourself now though. …And you annoy the crud out of me if you’re being serious right now. You shouldn’t pretend to be an expert at living if you’re so…ignorant.” says Lacey. “Most of your public persona is about being legitimately better than other people.” Lacey thinks. “I mean most of your-It’s brain numbing to consider that you’ve avoided just being real for five seconds to detriment of so so many people.”

“I just can’t stand you!” says Mr. Blue to Lacey. “I’m alive due to one word: BLACKMAIL.”

“Well…-Otherwise the Illuminati would have killed you?” asks Lacey.

“Yup!” he says with astronomical self-righteousness.

“So why don’t you kill yourself?” asks Lacey.

“Serious question?” he asks.

“Of course.” says Lacey annoyed by the idiocy of his conceit.

“Okay.” he says wounded. “I just don’t want to.”

“Are you afraid of Hell or happy or both?” asks Lacey.

“Both?” he responds.

“Do you ever have real conversations with yourself about the mess you’ve made? …You should have told me that you were nothing like your persona but…you’re too stupid or too stupid to realize that’s what you should have done?” asks Lacey.

“Maybe we really are just soulless ghouls?” wonders Wobbly seriously with his wife, as they support Mr. Blue.

“Yeah, I can’t let you kids go to Hell.” says Lacey breaking code. “Okay I’m supposed to be your equals but you’ve both made that basically impossible. You two are seriously in HUGE trouble most likely. …Repent!”

“Mmkay.” says Batgirl III. “So…you would have lost interest if you’d known how hurt I was?”

“I’d have thought about it…and then felt scared by Mr. Blue? And wondered if there was something wrong with him?” Lacey wonders.

“And then done what?” asks Batgirl III.

“I would have been naive and tender-hearted and hopeful enough to ask Mr. Blue what his side of the story was.” says Lacey.

“He would have said he was innocent.” says Fox News.

“And that’s all?” asks Lacey.

“Yes?” suggests Batgirl III.

“No explanation?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah, like…‘She’s been like this for a while.’” says a dead 9/11 victim.

“I’d not have bought that excuse.” says Lacey. “And…I’d have started distancing myself from him completely.” She thinks. “Would he have killed me?”

“Actually…yes. He’s likely to have tried to kill you with more zeal.” says Fox News.

“For caring about his mistresses feelings?” asks an observer.

“Yea!” says Fox News.

“Well…what if he knew that and this was all his way of handling it? Like…screw us all over as much as possible to feel superior and have sadistic fun?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah. Maybe.” says Mr. Blue.

“So…why? When can we all move on?” asks Lacey.

“Are you really going to hold us all hostage over your hurt ego?” asks Lem of Mr. Blue.

“I think I’m slightly out of Mr. Blue’s league. Let’s be honest.” says Batgirl III. “I think he may have played all of us.”

“Yeah! To hold on to your attention he had to keep you from feeling too safe.” says Lacey.

“What about his wife?” asks Fox News of Lacey.

“He needs and needed his wife to be able to go on with his public act. And I have a feeling he depends on her emotionally a lot more than he is honest about or he’s abusive to her or both.” says Lacey.


High Road by Cults plays.

“I used to analyze people’s bullshit so…meekly.” says Lacey to Michael and Lem. “Now I read posts on Instagram and if I feel they’re toxic I no longer see it the same way. Just now a woman I’ve always felt insecure, competitive vibes from just rubbed me the wrong way and I blocked her whether I should have or not but…I’m also seeing that I truly must feel super intimidating to her. She’s MASSIVELY impressed with me. Like…if that post was about me she’s shitting-her-pants impressed with me. …Sorry for the gross descriptive.” Lacey looks thoughtful. “And…that’s shocking. Because when I live as myself I don’t see myself as being impressive. I mean people’s, sadly at this point, predictably insecure attitudes that I’ve experienced my whole life are starting to add up for me into a logical equation combined with my retrospective understanding of my beauty as I age but…I’ve never gone into any interaction with this knowledge until super recently.”

“No, it took the Illuminati almost killing you several times in the last seven years to grasp it.” says Mrs. Blue to Lacey.

“I went into the situation with Mr. Blue thinking he was painfully lonely and likely in a truly dead marriage like me.” says Lacey. “It does happen.” She thinks. “People give up. Like Niles on Frasier. …And I deeply internalized that tragedy both as a concept that other people experience and from personal experience.” She thinks. “I think I wanted to save him.”

Lem laughs. “You’ve been looking for me. Or Harold…or possibly others. We wouldn’t have been ungrateful nor unresponsive. And we needed it. Genuinely. Not the traditional dysfunctional savior dynamic but what you offer.” he says to Lacey.

“You’re disturbed by that woman.” says Michael to Lacey.

“It just hard to process because I was never loved.” says Lacey. “It’s so cold. Like….they know they’re just being harassing, creepy-as-Hell, freakishly desperate trolls. They know they’re full of it on a certain level. They just don’t give any shits how that psychologically affects me. I mean they’re so pathetic they’ve essentially resorted to farting in my face without irony. …Like…farting in my face thinking they’re writing a work by Proust.” She thinks. “She is trying to do what? Out herself as a poor fake? A pseudo old money bitch? A bourgeois, ugly loser? What?” Lacey thinks. “I mean it’s kind of masochistic on a deep level. Like…if we’re being adults what exactly is it she wants? What is doing? Psychotically starting to consider selling her own shit? Does she use the toilet and half think to herself, ‘Wow! I really should market this!’?” Or is she so violently self-pitying that she is begging me to put her down?” She thinks. “It’s like she doesn’t give two shits…how it affects me to be so bullied into telling her off. And I can and will.”

September by Sparky Deathcap plays.

“She’s a classic bourgeois social climber. Her house is nice but not…as grand as she likely makes it out to be? And she’s not likely real old money neither.” Lacey thinks. “She’s disingenuous, fake humanitarian, angry, aging and secreukydeeply hopeless or shallow and empty?” Lacey smiles. “And if so…why not…push forward with Christianity secretly in prayer? Or…realize that old money people of every degree of importance hurt too inside sometimes. Use a little common-sense.”

“But you didn’t inherit your wealth!” she says bizarrely to Lacey.

“Are you wealthy?” Lacey asks her.

“You both made yours and inherited it!” she says to Lacey. She laughs angrily. “No!! We fake it. For the most part.”

“Why does it mean that much to you?” asks Lacey. “Are you just a narcissist?”

“What’s it to you?” she asks with belligerent self-righteousness.

“You shoved it in my face! So it’s your job to explain now!” says Lacey. “You and your little booby-trap.”

“I’m probably a narcissist and I can’t stand how shitty I feel compared to you! Your highness!” she scoffs.

“Your highness? What’s that a reference to?” asks Lacey.

“Joe Jr..” she says.

“Why are you harassing me? What do you want?” asks Lacey.

“I feel…self-righteous. Like most people today maybe.” she says thoughtfully. “I want to be you without having to be you in any real way.” She thinks. “Also, people do associate you with Mitsouko now, I think.”

“That’s totally ordinary to associate me with Mitsouko if I’m biologically Lacey Banks. My father made the 1920’s what they were to a large degree. He was a very important man. Mitsouko just fits. Doesn’t it? …Totally predictable and ordinary, dearie. L’Heure Bleue fits too. Jean Patou Joy, Jean Patou 1,000, etc.. It’s not just ‘old money’ for me it’s my actual taste. It’s what I actually prefer. …And obviously back then it wasn’t just old money that wore Chanel No. 22. …It was worn by money of all sorts but also by common people. It was popular.” Lacey thinks. “So…with that in mind…do you want to be me or something more meaningful than duly late 20th Century to early 21st Century American?”

“We do have some money. And…I do love old architecture. And…yeah. They lived so well.” she says. “Not on a scientific level. But…every single thing was special.”

“True. It was.” says Lacey.

“What did your ancestors live like?” she asks.

“Which ones, where and when?” asks Lacey.

“Your wealthiest ancestors!” she says.

“How far back?” asks Lacey.

“So they were silversmiths in Norway in one case. Extremely well respected silversmiths and what your possible father’s family was what in New Amsterdam?” she asks.

Abraham Lincoln looks at Lacey teasingly? It’s somewhat unclear why. Because she’s thinking of her possible Banks family.

“Dear God…I hope you’re not related to him on his wife’s side and then your mother who raised you might have ancestors who planned his death…” she says.

“Well, if that’s true I trust God has a sense of humor about it as much as I would.” says Lacey.

“You know it’s creepy. You could have been on both sides of the Kennedy assassination too.” she says.

“They were well-off farmers in New Amsterdam if God has allowed me to talk to ghosts. Aristocratic…but they still were glad to eat well and they feared starvation even at times.” says Lacey. “Like…the Congdon family if families could have vibes. But I get the sense we were English not just Dutch.”

“You’re creeping me out.” she says.

“Why? I’m not like that Congdon who killed her family if that’s what came to mind.” says Lacey.

“No! I keep thinking of Pete Campbell. You remind me of him.” she says.

“That’s not an insult to me. I actually like that character as a person.” says Lacey.

“You’re like the baby he had!” she says.

“Not really.” says Lacey.

“You’re a love child.” she says.

“I might be! But, other than that and their ethnicities there’s a lot of huge differences.” says Lacey.

“Like what?” she asks.

“You know what.” says Lacey.

She thinks. “Refresh my memory?”

“Can’t you remember?” asks Lacey. Is this woman talking from her dead future and she’s in Purgatory? Or is this in the present?

“You’re rich!” she says crudely.

“That’s all you have coming to mind?” asks Lacey.

“No, mostly. I don’t…” she can’t finish her words.

“Tom Banks. Have you ever looked him up on Google?” asks Lacey.

She nods yes.

“Okay, so 1. He was in his 80’s. Not 20’s.” says Lacey. “2. He refused to have children seemingly to protect them from his at times rather nefarious activities. 3. He was in a long-term relationship with my probable birth mother. 4. My father who raised me worked for him and was friends with my probable birthSo it’s not as if I was just put up for random adoption. 5. Thelma forcefully contacted my father every year at Christmas and possibly otherwise to get him send photos of me. Photos…of…me. She probably begged to see me in person too a dozen times. But my father was weird about it and always coldly refused to.” She thinks. “Thelma was Tom’s long-term mistress and eventual heir and caregiver. She…loved him very much.”

“Why didn’t he let you meet her?” she asks.

“He never explained. I asked him once because I wanted to meet her but he never explained. He was super cagey about it.” says Lacey. “No, he might have just adopted me post-mortem. But…I do look a lot like him.”

“You do.” she admits. “He has a look about him that reminds me of your personality a bit too.”

“I have to think that if I’m his daughter…he might have raised me himself if I’d been born earlier.” Lacey says.

“You know…your life is like a horror parody of Lem’s life.” says someone

“Like Mary telling you what happens when you commit suicide.” says a psychic. “Her trying help you in your painful marriage shortly after she died. …But…telling you about suicide the way Bobby told Lem supposedly about heroin.” They think. “Or did he just stab Lem with heroin?” She thinks. “Regardless, you don’t give in. And instead you pray for her if you can as a Christian. And I doubt she’s tried to talk you into it.”

“No it’s very dark, but it’s also hilarious in an ironic, gallows humor way.” says Lacey.

“So the boys did heroin on their night out and the girls spent their time fascinated by suicide?” asks Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.

“Well…I’m not fascinated by suicide, really. It’s pointless on a certain level for everyone but child hostages trapped by pedophiles and brutally molesting them and the like. And Mary committed suicide successfully.” clarifies Lacey. “Although those children should pray to God in Jesus’s name to forgive them for suicide as they do it if they do anyway.”

“Instead of being beaten and brutally molested by psychopaths?” asks Fox News. “Starved. Etc.”

“I don’t think it’s fair that they should have to live if they’re too suicidal and it’s really that bad. But asking God to forgive them is still important.” says Lacey.

“People with slow minds and narcissistic tendencies will balk at what you just said. But they don’t have a clue what they’re doing to these kids. You do. You hear our psychics tell you often. Both to torture you because you care in a normal way and in some cases just because you care in a normal maternal way.” says Fox News to Lacey. “Mothers in the Holocaust would understand your thoughts on the matter.”

“Yeah! I messed-up my life.” says Lem as an understatement. “Thank you for defending Lacey when you have.” he says to Fox News very seriously.

“Lem they insist you were gay.” says a pedophilic man in the Illuminati.

“I wasn’t. Are they?” he asks. “And if so maybe it’s their business. If they’re adults attacking me and Lacey it’s getting old. So are you in this brief conversation.”

“Well…I hate heroin.” says Lacey. “But nobody had to do any drugs at all.“

“Obviously you’re right. I wonder if should bother apologizing out of respect for how awful it was. But I’m…extremely sorry. Profoundly sorry. If I had any innocent motives I’m still sorry.” says Lem.

“I wouldn’t have let Mary hang herself. If I’d had any way to stop her.” says Lacey.

“No matter how much pain she was in?” he asks.

“No. She had kids and was an adult.” says Lacey.

“True.” he says. “I knew you’d say that.”