Lacey fitfully wakes up.

A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square by Glenn Miller plays.

Michael held Lem at gunpoint to keep him from making love with Lacey last night. For Lacey’s own good. And because Michael is tired of her being with anyone but him if she’s with him.

(Adult content below)

“She shouldn’t be so sad. That song should make her happy!!” Michael says to Lem. “Every song from the that time makes her think of you and Jack. Every song. …Lem you’ve ruined it. Deal with it or I’ll steal her and your music.” says Michael. “I genuinely can make her fall in love with me…as much as she wants you.”

Long Ago by Jo Stanford sings. This used to be one of Lacey’s favorite songs when she was an adolescent.

Elliott looks sad.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” he says to Lacey.

Truth is…out of all of them he’s told her he loves her most convincingly.

Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen by The Andrews Sisters plays.

“If this was 1946 who would she be married to?” asks a Muslim.

“This is a terrible morning!” announces JFK.

“So it’s Lem?” asks the Muslim.

“No!! I just… I just want a good morning for everyone. And it’s a bad morning thanks to Lacey and her nonsense about Lem.” says JFK. The Illuminati chooses to genuinely empathize with him.

“How is this conversation suddenly about you?” asks an actress of JFK. It’s a pretense to fool Lacey into thinking they did him ridiculous too. But they don’t. They have no way to disagree and they can’t let Lacey have basically any happiness if they can help it. It’s an obsession with them. Although…at times they seem to be accidentally human against their religious values.

“Because I had Lem suck my cock!” says Jack.

“That’s so cheeky, Jack! I love you!” They say.

I’ve Got a Woman by Ray Charles plays.

And with a noose around Lacey’s neck they (the They) crafted viciously and well…the entire US is trapped in the noose permanently with Lacey. Actually, the entire country has been since 2014 or 2015. But…the They doesn’t and didn’t want to understand that.

And as they dance forward shaking their asses to Jack’s hate and possible insanity in Purgatory…the noose tightens on them as Louis tries to wiggle out.

Aurora by The Andrews Sisters plays.

“This reminds me of my travels with Lem! You’ve seen the pictures! We were so in love!” says JFK. “Of course, don’t mind me. That’s before my glow-up!” he jokes. “Lem was so handsome! Wasn’t he? And oh!! He loved me so much. He was my living dreamboat. …From day one! My savior!”

The Man I Love by Billie Holiday plays.

“Another song about Lem and I!! Golly…he was so devoted to me.” says JFK. “He saved my life while we were alive. Daily!! …Always!”

“Wow!” says an actress.

“This is fun!! Tell us more!” says everyone else in the They.

“You’re such a diva!” says a They historian to Jack.

Be Careful, It’s My Heart by Bing Crosby plays.

“He never hurt me! Not like he’s hurt Lacey! Because he’s MINE! And men never hurt the one they truly love. That’s a fact.” says Jack smugly.

“Aww! We worship you too! Tell us more!!” says all of the US controlled by the They.

And this cycle goes on and on and on and on and on with every romantic song made before the 1950’s and after 1929. Every song.

If I Loved You by Jo Stanford plays.

“He used to struggle with me too. I mean…he never had much of an orgasm with me because…he was too shy. …I was so straight back then. But…it’s fun. And…don’t make me cry! I’ll cry if you tell me I’m weird. …Because I was-Don’t tell her I was hurting Jack. …I need help. And…Lem was in love? Isn’t that what you’ve all decided is fact? Right? It’s fact?” says JFK. He looks again at their pictures. “See!! He looks gay in his face not me! I don’t look gay at all! He does! And golly…we were in love on the level!!” he says smiling. “I was straight. I don’t think me loving him as my lover made me gay. I…had lots of girlfriends.”

They nod their heads grinning mindlessly.

“We’re wondering if you were bisexual?” asks a Shirley M..

“I was straight. Women were a pastime. How much more straight can you get than that?” answers JFK.

“Sure! Yeah! …That’s right! …You sound perfectly straight to me.” says a Pete seriously.

Lacey let’s God handle the situation. Leaves her favorite decade other than the 1920’s. Despite the war.

Every Tub by King Oliver plays.

Louis, sitting for a shave, smiles and waves at her in a smoky club in 1948. She’s 22. Of course…

Lacey’s not supposed to be at the men’s club. But…she snuck in to buy a newspaper. The stand on the busy street outside the club was out and she knew this adjacent spot would have one. In pristine condition too.

She wasn’t expecting to see Louis sitting there staring at her, waving. It would be embarrassing-

“STOP!! His kids will get hurt!” interrupts a Liberal female politician. She’s being serious.

“You’re right!” says Lacey empathetically, as per usual.

Mrs. Blue is satisfied. Never again will Lacey pursue a married man on her watch!

“It’s just good moral judgment.” she says with fire shooting out of her every seam and opening at Lacey.

No…they all insist Lacey pursuing a married man in 2016 was the most heinous crime of the 21st Century. Pedophilia and murder and rape are fine to Them. Truly. It’s all moral and human to the They if she’s not the one doing it. Because she’s pure evil to Them. It’s unclear how such pernicious cognition dissonance has developed but They don’t bother with mature questions anymore. …It’s been this way increasingly since the late 1990’s. It could have started earlier…but it became most noticeable in the late 1990’s. Possibly an Illuminati insider started it in preparation for 9/11. As in, whoever did it…whether independent Muslim terrorist or Washington insider…set up some spiritual cliff.

“Don’t argue with us!!!!” Mrs. Blue screams at Lacey. “I’M GOD!!!!” she says seriously.

That’s their reasoning ability. That’s their continuous refrain. And has been for years now. It’s as if their reactions to everything are on loop. And Lacey would be sure she’s insane except reality aligns perfectly with this narrative of their minds…and psychologists can’t diagnose her with schizophrenia anyway.

“No, I wouldn’t have been a fool.” says Louis. “Go on!”

“But we are about to have an affair.” says Lacey.

“You’re right. We’re both too passionate to stop it.” says Louis.

“She’s not like this, guys! She’s not this moral!!! She’s not!!!” yells Mrs. Blue. “IT’S A LIE!!!!!” she says as if unraveling. Unraveling like an upper-middle class snob…but still.

“Karrie, you’ve gotta let go!” says a Pete B..

“Let go of what?” asks Lacey.

“Your lie? Maybe you really aren’t this moral?!?” he suggests desperately.

“No, I am though. That’s the thing. It’s lying to say otherwise and I refuse to lie.” says Lacey.

“I meant Lem.” he says sharply.

“Karrie is not appropriate, by the way. We aren’t close.” she says to Pete. “As in, don’t call me that. That’s not appropriate for you to call me that. My name is Lacey.”

“That’s a bit fussy, but alright.” he says. “I mean your legal name is Karrie.”

“Yup! You’ve hit the schizophrenia threshold! These people are too smart to sound this idiotic in reality!” says a Liberal marriage and family counselor. Then they wonder why they had that thought.

Lacey wanders off from the men’s club. Nothing would have happened then anyway. …Right?

“No! We would have made-out. Passionately. In a hallway.” says Louis.

“STOP!! What about his kids!?!” yells Mrs. Blue.

Lacey ignores her. It’s not morally worth it in this exact case.

Coolly…analytically…”Really?!?” Lacey asks Louis.

“We would have almost made love.” he admits.

“YEAH! THAT’S ME!” loudly proclaims Mr. Blue. “YOU’RE NOT CHANNELING LOUIS! You’re channeling ME, bitch!!!” says Mr. Blue imposing himself into her mind suddenly out of nowhere. “That’s ME!!!”

Mrs. Blue nods sadly. In her mind Lacey won’t leave her husband alone.

“No! I was interacting with Louis. You weren’t there at all.” says Lacey.

“You’re a scandalous scammer.” says Mrs. Blue angrily. Seriously losing her temper.

“It was me! It’s always me!” says Mr. Blue like he’s arguing with a stupid person.

“He tries to move on. But he’s got a sex addiction. And she is just…pure evil. She sleeps with him everyday.” she says nodding her head in disbelief. “Sometimes several times a day.” says Mrs. Blue.

“She does! It’s true.” says Mr. Blue seriously.

“I haven’t slept with him in any way if I ever truly did since…early 2017?” says Lacey sincerely and calmly.

The Blues look at Lacey with worry. They’re being told to.

“So…we’re being told by our superiors that you think you time travel? How cute!” scoffs Mr. Blue losing his ability to be anything but hateful quickly. He scoffs. “Yeah right!”

Mrs. Blue laughs with him.

“See! See that’s the kind of sex life intimacy and private jokes we had! Our love was just like that! It was so special! We were so in love!” says JFK suddenly about Lem.

The They are then pulled under by demons of pedophilia into submission to JFK. They can’t resist JFK. They have no safe harbor. The They are also mostly all narcissists so they also lack a true sense of humor…especially in regard to Lacey.

“Are you being serious, Jack?” ask Pete respectfully.

“Yes.” he says calmly. “We were in love Pete.”

“See! That’s her thing! She’s lying!” says Mr. Blue. He insists Lacey is still secretly in love with him. She is not. And if he’s imagined otherwise it’s not possible in reality as she’s never consented or been aware at all while it’s happening. She genuinely finds him repulsive. Would take pleasure in torturing him to death and then making his wife eat his remains until she somehow died as well to silence their utter bullshit. But they don’t believe that. No! They want and need her to be lying. And…the other thing is…as it’s in self-defense, not her dysfunction and she isn’t wrong…they can’t even accuse her of murder. It’s not. They’re vile people…should the Illuminati exist. But…regardless, it’s all a mystery and unprovable in current courts so she’s not interested in killing them. She’s far more interested in actual justice than Hell. It’s not worth it.

London Blues by Jelly Roll Morton plays.

“It’s me!! It’s all about me!” says Mr. Blue seriously. “Just keep that in mind. This whole situation is about me. She’s my co-star. Okay? I’m the star. Keep that in mind!” He smiles. “Okay? Keep that in your noggin as you read. And my wife understands this, by the way. She does. …It’s Lacey and you all who don’t like that new reality.”

“We would have been that impetuous?” Lacey asks Louis.

They stand in a hallway. Is it near the kitchen?

“Yes.” he says.

“How well do I know you?” asks Lacey.

“Well!” says Louis.

“How?!?” asks Lacey.

“Your father was far more influential and sophisticated than you think.” says Louis.

“My father wouldn’t have been cheating with your wife?” asks Lacey.

“No! That’s unlikely.” he says.

“I’m not one to do impetuous things.” says Lacey.

Mr. Blue and Wobbly refuse to let Lacey hear his response because they have to read it first psychically. But they then claim it’s just their subconscious anyway not any actual dead person because they hear it first through witchcraft. Also, keep in mind, that they’re trying to sleep with her entirely against all her protestations through the means the Illuminati provides. She’s being raped by them daily on top of everything else they’re doing but they still think that they’re heroes, champions and winners. The true justice warriors of justice in the Democratic Party…to promote justice…for the sake of “true justice” to promote justice’s justice. …Basically they’re just fighting and fabulous over 40. As in, they’re still driving German…wearing nice pants…shaving well…and acting like sassybrassy…justice warriors.

“But if she doesn’t know?” says The Loudest Perfume Hater about the rape of Lacey.

Monsanto laughs. They laugh at Wobbly. …Or do they?

“She knows now!” says Wobbly.

“But will you stop?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

He refuses to answer.

Louis and Lacey try to move on.

“Anyway, yes. I would have made the decisions.” says Louis.

“Sad!!” interrupts Mrs. Blue again like an impassioned Liberal woke protester.

“She’s lying!!!” says Mr. Blue. “That’s me saying that. Not Louis.”

Louis Hill Jr.’s actual ghost or a brilliant demon impersonation and Lacey try to leave again.

“Wanna hear about Mae West?! Lem used to pretend he had tits!” says JFK out of nowhere.

“Tell us more.” says Louis.

“Hey! That’s not fair. I’m struggling.” Jack says to Louis in a pitiful manner.

Sidewalk Blues by Jelly Roll Morton plays.

“No. I wanna hear more, Jack.” says Louis.

“He used to dance like her. Like a guy in drag.” says Jack.

“Did he ever grab his own breasts?” asks Lacey.

Louis laughs.

“He avoided that sort of thing very carefully.” says JFK.

“Huh! Like he couldn’t think about the body he was pretending to have And or he’d get an erection?” asks Lacey.

Jack’s lip muscles twitch.

“See! Now look what happens when I stop helping you talk to him! …Silence!“ says Wobbly. “It’s silence.”

“He probably couldn’t think about it! There! Are you happy?!?” says JFK.

“Because it was a woman?” asks Lacey.

“Yes, because it was woman!” says JFK.

“Because he found women arousing?” asks Lacey.

“God!! Yes!!!” yells Jack Kennedy. He smiles. She reminds him of his brothers and it always drives him crazy. Her personality always reminds him of his brothers.

“So it’s like losing Lem to a brother?” asks a French woman.

“No, she’s a woman. But kinda.” says JFK.

“Is that easier or more difficult?” asks the French woman.

Road To Perdition, Film Score by Thomas Newman plays.

“I don’t know. I’ve never lost him before! …Oh, I dunno. Harder I guess…except easier too. …Nah, she’s nice I guess.” says JFK.

“Yeah! Louis was a great husband.” says his second wife seriously.

“He never cheated?” asks Lacey.

“Rarely. …Actually, if anyone did…it might have been me.” she says.

“Hey! Wanna have sex with me?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater of Lacey.

“Say! That’s a swell idea!” says a Satanist to Lacey.

Louis smiles.

“She’s not attracted to women.” says Louis.

“Why can’t I talk?” asks Louis’s wife.

“Because we can’t control you so we think you’re a schizophrenic delusion.” say the witches in the They.

“Why would you be able to control her?” asks Lacey.

“We control the living and dead.” says the They in the Illuminati. “It’s a Satanist thing.”

“But is it real enough to base the safety of US Forces on?” asks Lacey.

Jack Kennedy giggles.

“We have been.” says a Pete.

“For how long?” asks Lacey.

“A while.” says a Pete.

“That’s a lie!” yells Elliott Roosevelt.

“Are Louis and his wife dancing?” asks Mr. Blue happily. He’s got them dancing in his head. He laughs joyfully.

Georgia Swing by Jelly Roll Morton plays.

“No!” says Louis.

“No! They’re lying! They have no clue how dumb they’re being right now.” says Elliott Roosevelt. “There is no way they can truly control us. The most they can do is work within the parameters of a fallen world.”

“More later.” says Louis.

Gnossienne For Piano No. 4 by Erik Satie plays.

“Lem how does one night with Elliott equal all the evil Jack did to you?” asks Lacey.

Lem stops to think. “It wasn’t even one night.” he says sinking to the ground, leaning against a wall wearing a trench coat.

“Why are you glorifying him?” asks Lacey.

He thinks about all of the awful things Jack did. And how he remained basically faithful regardless. Never saying a peep to his dying day. Not openly anyway.

“That was the choice you made.” says Lacey.

He thinks.

“How is ALL OF THAT equivalent…to one sexual encounter…with Elliott Roosevelt?” asks Lacey.

Lem thinks about it. He uses her logic and weighs what she did with everything Jack did.

Get Into It by Doja Cat plays.

“I didn’t molest Bobby!” Lem says. He collects himself. “I wasn’t attracted to him.”

“Is that a demon or Lem or both? Or are you clueless?” Lacey asks Wobbly. She’s asked him this before.

“I do find that to be more deplorable.” says Lem.

“Wow!” asks Elliott. “Why?”

Lem collects himself.

“If Jack had spent one night with Elliott…you would have walked?” asks Lacey. “Of course Elliott was straight. But…his gay equivalent?”

“Seriously!” says Elliott.

“Dear God we…destroyed feminism.” say all female Boomers? “We don’t allow for Lacey and Genevra to exist because they aren’t male and they are straight.”

“Where is their sexuality anywhere?!?” asks the female Boomer. “No! They aren’t really anywhere!”

“They prefer privacy!” says a blue blooded gay man.

“But we don’t have any way to reach them. There are no cultural guideposts.” says the Boomer woman. “They’re effectively cloistered.”

Let The Drummer Kick by Citizen Cope plays.

Lacey has seen it before but she sees it again now. An image of Mr. Blue driving around and around and around and around…and around a castle in Germany. Around and around.

“Are you planning to invade?” asks a Muslim.

He refuses to answer. He’s on a special assignment.

“Do you stop? Or just drive?” asks Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.

“Sometimes I pull over and shoot. I’ve killed animals. And I shot a couple children.” he says. “But they are isolated and…it’s a dystopian world. And…they’re waiting to see what happens.”

“Huh!” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.

“So you just…mostly drive?” asks the feminist Boomer.

“Yeah?” he says shrugging. “For seven years. Just…around and around in a circle?”

“Yes.” he says.

“Why?” she asks.

“I’m considering invading with my army.” he says.

On his car stereo plays None Of Your Business by Salt-N-Peppa plays. He rolls down the windows and turns up the volume. Puts a loudspeaker to the speakers.

It is unclear what he wants.

“Is that song symbolic of what he’s angry about?” asks Lacey of Michael.

Mr. Blue uses telepathy to yell “Yes!” He adds hand gestures. He’s being very deliberate about them. But it’s unclear what they mean.

“Is that Italian or sign language?” asks Lacey.

“He’s sort of free-styling.“ says Lem.

“What’s it mean?” asks Lacey.

“It’s a war?” says Michael intrigued far more than at all upset.

“He’s starting the war?” asks Lacey.


“That’s true.” says Lacey. “This part of what he’s saying is true.” She thinks. “Like…this literal last paragraph.”

Lem feels sleepy. Not drugged…of course. Just tired.

“What’s going on?” Lacey asks Michael.

“You warned them about Biden. And Russia’s supremacy. But they’re not listening.” says Michael. “Because it’s not correct! What do you know?!?”

“He’s a Tsar. Isn’t he?” says Lacey.

“Yes! Darling! A real Tsar! My darling…you are learning.” Wobbly has “Lem” say to Lacey with tears of genuine pride in his eyes that she’s overcoming her stupidity. He uses a convincing demon who impersonates Lem. But Lacey isn’t falling for it.

Lem sits seething.

“Wouldn’t he be more likely to be jealous?” wonders Lacey thoughtfully with proper, respectful reserve.

And again, Lem is actually upset.

This time Wobbly & Crew decide to let it go and give-up fighting with Lacey.

“Yes! He is!” says Michael. “Of course he’d never call himself that. But that’s what he is.”

“I think he might. But we can’t fathom it.” says Lacey.

“The real question is why a Russian Tsar seems safe to pick a war with.” says Louis Hill Jr..

“I think they’re convinced it’s 1917 or that it’s just the Soviet Union!” says Lacey.

“Or that China still just mass produces plastic toys not to let its people starve.” says Louis.

“But Lacey!!! This is America! Elliott’s sexual prowess is so impressive…that it can overcome all obstacles. It’s so…all encompassing that…no amount of evil will prevail.” says Lem. “Of course that’s insane…but even if he was rare…he’s dead.”

“He’s not dead! He’s in our hearts.” says Lacey sarcastically.

“Lacey, who’s actually in support of the US right now?!?” Wobbly asks, angry.

“No one.” says Michael.

“That’s not true!” says Wobbly.

Apologize by One Republic plays Say Anything style from a boom box held by Mr. Blue.

“I’m going to kill myself! Stop bullying me!” he yells like a tragic victim through the loudspeaker.

“Are we supposed to apologize for something or is he apologizing?” ask Louis.

“He needs money. Like me!” says a leader of Ukraine.

“You’re trapped in their circus as a hostage. Aren’t you?” Lacey asks the leader of a Ukraine.

“Yes! Or they’ll torture my kids!” he says. “They’re heartless.”

“No!!! We were never that fucked-up before!” says JFK crying about the US, rocking himself in a corner.

“Lacey did it!” says the They.

“Nope!” says Lacey.

Lacey walks down to the car and suggests Mr. Blue get back in his car and just keep driving. She helps him put his boom box in the trunk. He gets behind the wheel and drives. She walks back inside leisurely and back up to Lem and crew. Louis looks at her horrified.

“Sorry!” she says. “I’m bored.”

“I would be too!” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“So…we have no real allies?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No!” says Lem.

“That bitch!” says a Biden about Lacey.

“Wanna see a real neat magic trick?!?” says Wobbly in his subconscious to anyone who will listen.

“So the country does or doesn’t exist?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“It doesn’t.” says Lacey.

“BUT…hospitals still do. Science still does. Urgent care still does. Streets still do. Public utilities. In our minds it still exists. Courts. Our best traditions. But…there’s no honor. There’s nothing external keeping us together as a whole.” says Lem.

“The minute children were sold or bought by us…we started bleeding.” says Lacey.

Steady by Vacations plays for Mr. Blue as his wife calms him down on his cell phone in his car. He’s parked. Wobbly shakes a fake tambourine in the air at home to keep the beat.

“You gotta learn to rely on your wife. She’s your guide. Your mind. We just are their…luggage.” says Wobbly. Luggage was the only word he could think of.

“So…why do we care about upholding laws?” asks Casi.

“Because there’s still bones.” says Lem.

“We can’t fall apart that quickly. Or in that way. Which is wonderful.” says Lacey.

“But we can’t go to war?” asks a Biden.

“Officially?” asks Lacey. She also suggests that Osama Bin Laden used the sale of children by the US to justify 9/11.

“So we can unofficially go to war but not officially?” asks a Biden.

“Yes!” says Ron. “After your botched withdrawal from Afghanistan…we can’t go back.”

“Especially after January 6th.” says Ron’s grandson.

“So…it’s been like this for a while.” says Lacey.

“So…the insurrection was actually totally successful in its symbolic value.” says a patriot.

“Yes! It’s the end of the Civil War.” says Lacey. “Except the Confederate Army is no more.”

“True! The Confederacy won.” says Lincoln.

“But it’s dead.” says Lacey.

“So who claims the prize?” asks an American southerner.

“It’s unclear. Possibly no one alive.” says Lacey.

“Then who does the country belong to?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“Me.” says Lacey. “I’ll claim it. I’m safe.”

“Got the rest of the oil in the US.” says Rod.

“Time to go to work!” says Lem bitterly.

“So there was nothing about my actual personality she liked? It was all just the persona?” asks Mr. Blue.

“True!” says Lacey.

“Here! This was what I wanted to tell you.” says JFK. He walks up to Lem grieving his father. “Stand-up!” Then he grabs a knife and digs it into Lem’s gut. “I’ll just keep twirling that around until you bleed to death slowly.”

Lacey feels a knife in her vagina. But it disappears quickly.

“This was how you felt about me?” asks Lem.

“If you ever love a woman more than me. Did I ever tell you that? I could handle men but never a woman?” ask Jack. “Or is this new?”

“I might have had that impression.” says Lem, bleeding from his mouth.

“You betrayed me!” says Lacey.

“I didn’t mean to.” says Lem.

“You didn’t mean to?” scoffs Lacey.

“I never told you about that.” he says.

“But you knew. And how has any of your anger been justified almost at all?” asks Lacey.

“It hasn’t.” he admits finally.

“Wow! You’re not in love with me at all. You’re in love with yourself! I’m your chew-toy.” says Lacey. “You have no sense of honor. Or love. It’s just squishy bullshit to you isn’t it? Correct or incorrect?”

“No! I see what you mean entirely, unfortunately.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“Really?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. Sadly.” he says.

“I’m still mad!” says Lem.

Jack screams bloody murder.

“You know…if he’d been bisexual…it would have made sense. But him hiding this on top of pretending to be gay…and bullying her?” says Michael.

“I’m hurt.” he says.

“And I’ve apologized so many times. When have you truly apologized?” asks Lacey.

“I know. I’m just that hurt.” says Lem.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks.

“I didn’t think it was like that.” he says.

“What did you think it was like?” asks Lacey.

“I thought he loved me.” says Lem.

“He did!” says Lacey.

“He did. Like Joe loved you. But it wasn’t…what I thought it was.” he says, crying.

“What did you think it was?!?” asks Lacey.

“I thought it was a sort of desperation.” he says.

“How?” asks Michael.

“It really is just you.” says Lem laughing.

“Desperation?!?” asks Lacey.

Sodus by Cemeteries plays.

“Desperation to feel loved. Not to be possessive. Like…desperate to feel like they were being loved. Clingy maybe. But not possessive.” says Lem.

“I can’t easily believe that. Those men possibly stink to high Heaven of possessive psychopathy?” says Lacey losing her temper. “They’re the shit of men romantically speaking. The absolute scum of the Earth.”

Jesus weeps.

“I thank God I never was unfortunate enough to conceive a child with one of them. “ says Lacey.

“So they’d be useless fathers?” ask Lem trying not to cry.

“Not always. But I’d never risk it now that I know who they are.” says Lacey.

Jack tries tries to kill Lacey.

“Could you imagine Jack as your son?” God asks Lem. “Through Lacey’s womb?”

Lem is horrified.

“Why not? It’s a sort of…desperation.” says Lacey. “To be loved.”

Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree by Glenn Miller plays.

Bobby, Jack, Ted and Joe Sr. run after their wives. Chasing down their children. Literally.

The song plays.

The song plays.

The Kennedy’s run after their wives.

Lem looks in a room. Nobody is there.

“You don’t want my uncle at all?” asks Wobbly of Lacey.

“I’d prefer to vomit a few times and be done with your whole family in that way than ever have him touch me. For eternity.” says Lacey. “It’s an insulting joke to even ask me that.” She thinks. “Do you understand I’m not rejecting you from Heaven. If you were my son I wouldn’t abort you.”

“If I’d realized…and told you…would you have slept with anyone else?” asks Lem.

“What would you have said when I told you I was considering sleeping with…Louis?” asks Lacey.

He tries not to laugh. He tries not to laugh. “Why?”

“You would have almost laughed and looked at me like I was a thirsty slut?” asks Lacey.

Blood drops fall from his mouth.

He pulls the knife out. Kicks it under a table for a little boy who needs it.

Lacey doesn’t run off with Joe. This shocks Lem.

Louis joins them instead.

“Lem, we’re madly in love. And actually I knew her first.” says Louis.

“I can’t stand that! That you think you can just waltz in and take her back?” says Lem.

“When did the country end?!?” asks a Biden.

“When Queen Elizabeth II died.” says Lacey. “She was the last of her friends who ruled the world.”

“So no one else knows what’s really going on?” asks a Biden.

“That’s my estimation.” says Lacey.

“So she was our Joan.” says a Boomer.

“Well…she was a Queen too you know. Not just a secretary. says Lacey.

“She still knew who we were. As a country.” says a Millennial actor.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “Well put.”

“I didn’t know you were still in love with Louis?” asks Lem of Lacey.

“I was. And am. But I let it go.” says Lacey.

“But you’re in love with me.” he protests.

“Yes! More than them! But I am still in love with Louis.” says Lacey helplessly growing bored.

“Oh!” he says.

“Are you going to leave now?” asks Lacey.

“No!” he says almost crying.

“Why not?” asks Lacey.

He starts to laugh again. “I’m not leaving like your mother expected from your father?” he says stumbling over his thoughts.

“That’s not me.” says Lacey.

Jack craps out demons of hatred to attack Lacey with. Lem vomits on the table.

“Okay!” he says. “It’s just that I am hurt that you want to sleep with Louis.”

Lacey clears her throat. “That’s-“. She smiles.

He smiles back at her suggestively. She looks confused, tries to catch her breath. She looks down, furrows her brow.

“I need to apologize. I didn’t anticipate this turn of events in the conversation at hand. My apologies for any trouble or unhappiness I may have caused either of you.” she says with dignity and sincere remorse. Then she rises from the table and leaves politely.

She goes to the bathroom. Collects herself. Then she goes to leave and go home and collect herself more.

Lem is standing outside the door.

She pauses to acknowledge him. “Hello!”

He looks confused. Then angry. He grabs her arm and pushes her up against a wall at the restaurant.

“What in Hell do you think you’re doing sleeping with anybody but me?!?” he asks angrily.

Lacey clears her throat, “It seemed reasonable.”

“Your logic alludes me.” he says.

“Because you don’t really love me. Right? Isn’t that the current prevailing theory of evolution and sex? Men use women ruthlessly with no empathy or emotion? And women are groveling pieces of shit who love but are never loved.” says Lacey.

Louis walks out in tears. “What’s going on, Lem?”

“I’m incapable of being…aware.” he says.

“Lacey I’m not intruding?” he asks.

“No.” says Lacey. “Lem isn’t that your Kennedy sex theory?” She turns to Louis. “Isn’t that the current prevailing theory of evolution and sex? Men use women ruthlessly with no empathy or emotion? And women are groveling pieces of shit who love but are never loved.” says Lacey. “Isn’t that The Kennedy Doctrine? The famous one promulgated by your sex god of Hell JFK?” She turns to Louis, “Do you subscribe to The Kennedy Doctrine?”

“Not at the moment.” says Louis. “There was a time when I did consider it playfully. But with remorse. And these days I tend to steer clear of the tenets of that premise.”

“You see the…love angle? I take it?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” he says.

“I’m sorry! We’re leaving you out! Lem, what’s your take on the matter?” asks Lacey

“I’m just standing here trying to have a conversation with my wife!” says Lem.

“But what’s your theory?” asks Lacey.

“I love you.” he says.

“But you said you loved Jack your whole life. And now look where that is.” says Lacey.

“I don’t think it’s fair to expect you to believe me. But I didn’t love him. That was a misunderstanding of what I meant and my own feelings on my part.” says Lem.

Holst plays.

She cries. Collects herself.

“No, I’m sorry. I can’t trust you quite that much. Please try not make assumptions.” says Lacey.

“I don’t think I can ever let you go. I’m sorry.” says Lem.

“Why are you sorry?” asks Lacey.

“I don’t want to keep you from Michael or Louis.” he says.

“Why would you care?” asks Lacey.

“Michael is so brave. And fierce. And you like his hair and eyes and personality. And him. And his family. And Louis is a miracle of Heaven. …I’m a failure in my life. And…I feel bad. They led lives with grandeur. I was an asshole.” says Lem.

“What’s your theory?” asks Lacey.

“That people die.” he says before kissing her. He leans his forehead on hers. “They either live and find their life or they die. And if they die slowly they don’t always have any hope. We died slowly.” He turns to Louis, “GET OUT!” he yells. Louis chuckles. But leaves for the moment.

“It’s just us.” says Lem in her ear.

“Would you really have said that?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” he says.

“Alright. But what about The Kennedy Theory?” asks Lacey.

“It’s bullshit.” he says.


“How would you personally suggest we get a country back?” asks a Biden.

“What was the point of this country?” asks Lacey.

“Freedom.” he says.

“Fair enough.” says Lacey. “How free are we?”

“Not as free as we were.” he says.

“How about compared to China?” asks Lacey.

“We have freedoms they can only dream of!” he says.

“Like what?” asks Lacey.

“Our court system is far more fair.” he suggests.

“Then what allows those freedoms?” asks Lacey. “Like, what’s the engine?”

“Business.” he says.

“That’s the bottom line. The Dollar.” says Lacey. “Of course I believe it’s God, ultimately. But He would expect a good leader to tend to the Dollar. But it’s all an ecosystem.”

“Why?” he asks.

“Because it’s money. It’s our money. It’s an institution and tradition in a way.” says Lacey.

“For national unity?” he asks.

“It’s a psychological thing.” says Lacey.

“So focus on stabilizing the Dollar?” he says.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “Which is an enormous task.”

They think.

“We need stability. Honestly, Ukraine…”. *She shakes her head* “It’s…Waterloo if you ask me. I don’t know what you do. But from my perspective it’s quicksand.”

“But how do I get my country back?” he asks.

“It’s like one of those dreams where you try to scream and you can’t. We’re stuck on permanent depression. The decline in civic engagement and all that. …I think a restructuring of the American Dream is necessary. What is the cost of freedom and what does it require of us? And if we become more egalitarian socio-economically then what will that specifically require of us as individuals and how can we stay safe, prosperous and yet make enormous progress in the process? …But essentially it’s getting back to basics that we ignore at our own peril. Because we’re scared of the questions.” says Lacey. “But we have to face them bravely and with maturity and be open to God. We need God. It’s easy to take that for granted or to politicize it but it’s an essential personal and public matter. …I suppose to summarize: we need to focus on the dull, difficult, fundamentals.”