Intuiting

(Adult content below)

This morning Lacey got tired. Lacey got tired of making love with a man who everyone insists was gay. In her spirit, she thinks of Lem, Lem Billings. Long time close friend of JFK Wikipedia says. But then the Illuminati exist, and we can’t know because oh wow, it’s a secret…interrupts, and turns her into Jack spiritually or cuts off her thoughts and tells her that Lem is gay – essentially they still harass her. They will never probably stop harassing her until she dies, or until they die. How do they turn her into Jack? They force his spirit to stand alongside her body and make it so that when she talks she hears Jack’s voice – she essentially is forced to channel him almost constantly when she’s talking to Lem, they force her to chattel JFK. …Because these are people who are dumb enough…dumb enough to be both atheists who don’t think that she’s channeling anything and yet through cognitive dissonance in the extreme that she also somehow channeling herself. George Clooney and Bobby Kennedy Junior should the illuminati exist are obsessed with the idea that she is JFK reincarnated and that Lem is gay. They are obsessed with that idea. …What they are apparently too dumb to realize is that she’s channeling someone else …hence it’s channeling. Lacey is channeling someone else. …She is channeling JFK’s ghost. We are not the same person and she’s channeling JFK. …She is channeling a ghost of someone who is not her.

So, even if JFK doesn’t want to be channeled by Lacey, and would rather not be forced to apparently say everything that she’s saying to Lem…if some part of him is keeping him in a place where he’s forced to do that by witches who are somehow able to make him – probably through demons that he’s still choosing to be submissive to you instead of Christ – so even if JFK actually would like to move on past this, and not somehow be forced into channeling Lacey and then she’s channeling him when she’s trying to speak to Lem – it’s very it’s a very weird creepy experience, trust me – due to witchcraft, potentially, there is some convergence where it’s like they’re both being forced into this disgusting situation.

“But then that means that they’re essentially the same person doesn’t it? Isn’t this just-Doesn’t it just prove that she’s a liar and a fraud and that we’re really just victims? Right? Isn’t it obvious that she’s really just JFK?” says an aging New Age movie star who hates Lacey and her supposed ‘background.’

“How does that make sense?“ asks Lem.

“Because you’re obviously talking to her because she’s JFK. You would never talk to her otherwise because she’s an ugly fucking piece of shit compared to me and my family.” says a Bobby Kennedy Junior without irony. “Look, I get the whole populated, the whole populist cause. I’m a populist myself, my family has always cared about people beneath us. And she’s clearly an ugly fucking bitch beneath us. It’s been a nightmare having to deal with her. But if I am talking to Lem and I’m not just humoring a silly little girl’s blog with some dried up cowboy uncle, or some stupid shit like that… I mean who do the people think they are they don’t have houses on Cape Cod or houses in the Hamptons and that’s the only place where truly rich people live in the entire world other than maybe Switzerland, right?! And don’t go on and on about Asian wealth because that’s a joke! …Anyway the point is and I’m not being funny this is how dumb I possibly really am – she’s she hears us OK that’s how the Illuminati would work if it exists you idiots. …Anyway, the point is I am gobsmacked as to why I’m still having to debate with this silly fucking child about a great many things but namely it’s obvious that Lem was gay! Everyone says so! Everyone says so! Everyone says that.”

“But what if he really wasn’t gay?! See…I…I think that he could’ve been-“ starts Lacey.

“No you don’t! No! You just pretend to! You’re not intellectually honest enough to contemplate some thing like that in reality!” says a Bobby Kennedy Jr. to Lacey.

“No, I really do. I do contemplate it! I have my entire life. I have been incredibly mindful of that possibility…but the problem is Bobby…he doesn’t seem completely gay to me. I’m sorry but he just doesn’t.“ says Lacey.

“You’re not that nice! And you’re probably in love with me I’ve been saying that for years to lots of people!” says a Bobby Kennedy Jr. to Lacey.

“No, I’m not in love with you and no, I really am not nice.” says Lacey.

“I think she was going somewhere with this conversation. Could we stop derailing it please?” says Lem.

“What I was going to say is that as of this morning after all the heartbreak and pain that I keep going through trying to convince myself that I’m not insane, feeling aroused by Lem because I’m not like other women, I don’t get aroused by gay men…I mean, apparently every time I look at him and I feel like I’m being sucked into a vortex that doesn’t mean anything? Because I’m just JFK?! I’m just JFK reincarnated? Except I’m not JFK reincarnated and apparently all women are just madly in love with gay men because that’s what everyone tells me. ..And when I first started being harassed by the Illuminati George Clooney was devastated to hear that I didn’t think he was Joe Kennedy Junior reincarnated! I think that was an incredibly precious Rosicrucianist idea that he came to have a great deal of faith and hope in. …But they told me that I was not possibly speaking to Joe Kennedy Junior in 2016 because I was too ugly and lowly. …And I am not ugly. I am extraordinarily beautiful and it is enraging to me to see myself aging never having had any living fucking human tell me that in any real meaningful way, other than out of spite and hatred, and in some admission of guilt. …I am not blind!! …How did you think lying to me my entire life and telling me that I was ugly was ever going to a work in your fucking favor you lunatic Idiots? ..It doesn’t work to lie about something that eventually will become so obvious over time. People have had to admit to me in guilt that they’re jealous. But what makes me sad sad is that it’s so extreme. …Lying to me and telling me that I’m ugly to get some sort of advantage over me and trying to give me insecurities that I don’t have because I am not an insecure person is stupid and dysfunctional and embarrassing to humanity. And when you realize that I am really just a strong and resilient of a person? Then I just that make you feel insecure when you realize that I don’t know that I am beautiful but that I’m too tough to give a shit. It makes you feel like a weak, silly man with nothing to offer or a loser woman who is really just a worm? How is that my problem?!”

“I think this is proof that you’re a gay man trans and that your JK reincarnated because JFK was tough like that! Lacey you sound like JFK! You gotta be JFK! There’s no way you’re not Jack! He-because he was tough like that. He was tough like that! He was incredibly tough like that.“ says a Millennial in the Illuminati, seriously. “He was an incredibly un self-conscious man. Jackie said so herself.”

“I am incredibly self-conscious, but that’s not the same thing as being insecure. I’m just a very awkward person around most people because I never feel comfortable being myself around almost anyone, but I am not insecure. …Those are two different concepts. I repeat: those are two different concepts. I am incredibly self-conscious, but that’s not the same thing as being insecure. I’m just a very awkward person around most people because I never feel comfortable being myself around almost anyone, but I am not insecure. Those are two different concepts. I repeat those are two different concepts. …I am not JFK. I am not JFK reincarnated. He may have been very insecure, but not self-conscious and he may also have been a narcissist. …You can be un self-consciousness, but still be insecure. Narcissists also lack a sense of self and self-awareness. …I am very self-aware. I am very self-conscious and self-aware, but I am not insecure. Those are all different concepts and again I am not JFK reincarnated” says Lacey.

“I still think this was going somewhere and I’d like to hear where it was going.” says Lem.

“Well I am hurt and confused!” says a Bobby Kennedy Junior. “Doesn’t anyone care? Does anyone even care about my feelings?! When is it my turn to be loved? Do you know I’d love to know when it’s my turn to actually be loved by someone.”

“Lacey where are you going with this conversation?“ asks Lem.

“No, you’re in love with me and you’re in love with me and you’re in love with my family and I’m not going to let you do this to yourself because this evil witch is trying to control you.” says a Bobby Kennedy Junior to Lem. “I mean, isn’t she isn’t she evil? Which is it obvious! She’s just totally full of shit like all the fucking time?! I mean, when did she ever run for Congress or really even write a book that she’s published?! Never! She’s a total nobody con artist piece of shit! Her own fucking family hates her because she’s never accomplished anything because she never does anything because she’s a loser. We should probably just kill her and I’ve been trying to do that because she never does anything. She’s obviously just a fucking nothing.”

“Oh, like how Jackie said, that Lem Billings was a nobody…because she was in denial that she was married to a bisexual misogynist who couldn’t stand women. …But see that’s the thing. What if Lem was straight and what does he actually was being played by JFK psychologically and a very complex way?! And what if in reality, Jackie was on the other side of that?! Lem thought he was gay even if he wasn’t and was being played in that way by JFK…and Jackie thought that Lem and Jack were in love when they weren’t. It was just Jack in love with Lem and he was lying about it to make Jackie insecure and jealous. And in that way, Jackie got played by JFK. And in reality they were both were being lied to and neither of them were getting what they really needed. Lem needed friendship and probably to be told that he wasn’t gay if he wasn’t gay in a real way. And Jackie needed to be told that she was loved as his wife and to feel some security in that. but regardless, you can’t act gay and make it real…anymore than you can act straight and screw women you know dozens of women wow…and become actually straight. It’s not an act. No matter how convincing they both were in their own way being straight or being homosexual in reality is not an act. So no matter how convincing Lem’s facial expressions were he always dropped the ball somewhere whether it was in his eyes or in his feet or in his clothes or something he always ended up, looking straight in my opinion…and JFK always ended up looking gay slightly and sounding gay slightly in his voice in my opinion. …See they had a mutual mistake going on if Lem was straight. Lem’s mistake was trusting Jack as his friend and thinking that somehow he knew what it meant to be homosexual, and that his desires for women didn’t mean anything. And Jack’s mistake was thinking that Lem was like him, and that Lem was somehow gay even though I think he probably knew that he wasn’t if Lem wasn’t. Oh it’s just disgusting how people can’t grasp this and I have to go through mental gymnastics to try to explain it to you. I think Jack projected his love for Lem onto Lem and then directed it towards himself. And then, because of his lies, and his family’s desperate need for him to be straight people believed Jack’s lie to be reality and thought that Lem was in love with him. And as crazy as it sounds if that’s true if Lem was straight, Jack was probably the one who was actually obsessed not Lem – it was probably actually Jack’s obsession. It was probably actually Jack’s obsession with Lem. But because this is something that people can lie about people’s feeling in private…and Jack was the one with all the money writing the narrative so to speak…we’ve been brainwashed to believe that Liam was obsessed with Jack. And we believe it because Lem acted gay and Jack acted straight. and people aren’t as fastidious in their observations of people as they should be. People still look for the stereotypical mannerisms of homosexuality and heterosexuality to indicate to them what they’re looking at and they don’t listen for someone’s voice in the way that I do. …The thing is, I don’t know for sure that Lem was straight because even if I’ve made love with him, and he has made love to me…it’s his ghost. And he can spend the rest of you know my life proving to me he was straight, and that he’s in love with me whatever…but it has been incredibly awful. I am tired of staring at pictures of Lem trying to rack my brain to figure out whether or not he was gay or straight. And I always end up figuring out that he seems straight to me and should there be an Illuminati…they can’t handle it! Because they read me and they know that I am reading that he’s straight and they can’t stand it! And then I always end up making love with Lem. I always end up making love. Not JFK…just me and Lem’s make love. …The thing is I’m losing patience because it’s getting to be far too painful and I don’t deserve it. …I am not Ally Sheedy and ‘Saint Elmo‘s Fire.’ And that line where the man says, ‘I haven’t had sex in a long time because of you!’ is what Lem almost said himself about JFK. And he insists that that’s not the way that he meant it or that if he did that that wasn’t quite what he meant. … but regardless, I am not that character. I’ve never been loved that much by anyone my entire life! No one‘s ever said The anything as nice to me as what that young man said to her, anyone! And I am 10 times more beautiful than that woman ever was. …I’m sorry it’s pathetic. …Do I need to keep explaining what fucking idiotic bullshit America has believed since JFK was president? I am not Ally Sheedy’s character and if Joe Junior thought that I was…right, that’s delusional and sad! Joe no one ever loved me! No one ever loved me! I have no idea whether or not anyone ever loved your nephew but no one ever loved me, Joe! How the Hell did you think that I was going to be like Ally Sheedy‘s character?!? Because we’re so much alike! Her pearls, her attitude and personality, because she could love this observant writer…is very much like me. Her love for Alec reminds me of my love that I have experienced for you. Should you be a real ghost? …But I never had that moment where he says to me what he was supposed to have said to Jack, but couldn’t, and didn’t because it wasn’t real or some stupid shit like that?! He never says that to me you know, he never says that to me Joe. And now I you’re trying to tell me that you don’t love me right and that I’m just imagining things because I am too far beneath you? That’s what I’m sensing from you or someone else. So whether you were trying to mock my soul by imagining that somehow it was funny to laugh at my pain or maybe you thought that that moment could actually happen where he said to me, what he supposed to have said to your brother and didn’t… you’re wrong. It’s all wrong. Your cruelty means nothing to me other than that it’s wrong and evil or you don’t seem to understand who I really am at all. You thought that I needed some feminist liberation? Where I was able to ‘be myself more some stupid thing like that?’ …Sweetie I’m a feminist and I don’t need any fucking dimwit bitch explaining to me what feminism is! It’s my feminism not yours you fucking ass! …If I wanted to be liberated and needed to be liberated I’d liberate myself I don’t need your patronizing help! Because all feminism is, is just an entire mountain of sadness and discontent with the evil in men’s hearts towards women. …I am disappointed in your analysis. I am very disappointed. I am not that woman and I am appalled that if you took me seriously and thought that I could be with you as your wife that you wrote such shit!” says Lacey.

“OK.” says Joe Kennedy Jr..

“It’s not funny! It’s not funny at all. It’s sad because I’m really a very nice person. I really am and you never let me be! You’re always antagonizing me to the point where I end up being a bitch in everyone’s estimation but in reality I’m really not at all.“ says Lacey.

“She’s right, Joe. I’ve noticed that over time.” says Lem.

“The problem is, I am not Ally Sheedy‘s character, and the point of this conversation was that I have decided to be with Michael.” says Lacey. “I love Lem far more than Michael or Louis or really anyone else who’s ever been created and possibly ever could be created so essentially, I love him more than anyone to ever exist, but I am so hurt at this point that I just can’t stand it. …So Lem can do whatever he wants. He can pursue me if he wants. And I feel the need to say that which is pathetic in and of itself. But the thing is that I don’t trust you to not be hurt and in a huff to runoff and think ‘Oh, she’s rejecting me! I can’t pursue her that’s too difficult!’ Because for all, I know you were gay or what you were bi and you’re magically still in love with-I don’t know I don’t wanna steal you from someone matter how much I love you. …So if you’re in love with me, I guess I’ll just have to sort it out, I’m sorry. …Or I’m about to be very hurt, but Michael supposedly loves me an incredible amount so that’ll help if he’s real that’ll help if he loves me…or Louis. I’m telling you this so that you don’t get hurt. I don’t want you to get too hurt that I’m leaving in case if you actually love me. It’s just that it’s far too painful. If that makes any sense? So please don’t take it personally it’s just that I can’t stand it anymore. It’s too painful! But if I can’t hear you then they’re cutting you off so I can’t hear you and I don’t know what you expect.” Lacey says to Lem. “I’m devastated. I’m devastated that I want to leave. I shouldn’t want to! Not at all! I should’ve never wanted to! But I’m just not Ally Sheedy‘s character. I’m just not Lem! I’m not her at all.”

Jack mocks Lacey.

“‘I’m just not Lem! I’m not hurt at all!’ is what she should be saying. ‘I’m not hurt at all. I’m not hurt!’ She’s full of it. Come on, you know bitches like that. They’re just horny sluts that don’t give a shit.“ says JFK confidently to Lem.

“No, you’re not being with Michael-you’re just not! I’m not allowing it.” says Lem to Lacey.

“Lem, I can’t handle it anymore!” says Lacey.

“No! She can’t handle it any more Lem! She really can’t!” says Rocky. “And she can’t believe that if she was with Michael that you’d care about her one tiny little bit. Lem she has an incredibly low opinion of your love for her and possibly always has. She can’t save you no matter how much she loves you and has tried and probably will continue trying. She can’t save you. You were the man and you had to save her. You have to rectify the situation – there’s no way out.”

“I know! I know all that.” says Lem.

“So what do you want? She’s right Lem, we are in love!” says Michael.

“She’s in with Louis too! And it’s very, very weird. Why if there’s an Illuminati Lem don’t they realize how much heartbreak both you and Lacey are experiencing right now if you’re in love with her and you were straight? You were molested, your dad died, and then you got taken advantage of by a sexual predator who needed a way to pretend to be straight. It was a phony romance because you didn’t want a romance and it was a phony friendship because he didn’t really care about you. If he was queer and you were straight, he didn’t care about you he wanted you. It doesn’t mean that he loved you as a friend necessarily at all. …And you’re expecting her to believe that this is what happened too? And if she doesn’t believe that and she doubts it and she wants to sleep with me why is that at all surprising? It’s not convincing to me your act is not convincing to me if you were straight anymore than it is to Lacey. It might’ve convinced Jack, but it isn’t convincing to us. It isn’t convincing to Michael either necessarily if it was an act. …And the thing is I am dead and so is Michael and Lacey’s not so even if I could sit down and tell her ‘I really don’t think he is either.’ I can’t do that Lem. And I think what gets Lacey and I is that a. They’re, assuming that if you were straight that this isn’t going to be incredibly dangerous for them in the future. And B. Why aren’t they more fascinated by Michael and me? And again why are they not more fascinated by observing and watching and examining…Michael and me?”

“Because you’re not that good looking!” says a woman.

“Because it doesn’t make any difference!” says another woman.

“Because you’re both dead and she’ll never get any bit of your power wealth or money.” says another Millennial woman.

“Because you’re not a Kennedy that’s why because you’re just you’re not as glamorous and good looking and interesting as we are or as tall!” says Joe Kennedy Jr..

“ then why would she have left you Joe from Michael in a heartbeat if Lem didn’t seem interested at all?” asks Elliott Roosevelt.

“It’s just not true. It’s just bullshit. Lem was in love with me and he was probably gay anyway and love with my brother. It’s just bullshit it’s all just bullshit you guys just bullshit don’t believe it. It’s just bullshit don’t believe it. It’s just bullshit.“ says Kick.

“Kick what’s bullshit is everything that you just said!” says Lem.

“I’ll kill you!” Joe yells at Lacey.

“Too late, you dumb bitch!” Michael says to Joe.

“You’re not smarter than us Lem, and we can counsel you like psychologically if you’re interested in talking to one of us!” says a Millennial in the Illuminati seriously to Lem.

“I’ve tried to communicate with her and tell her that I love her I have, but it’s not possible without God’s intervention for her to hear me.” says Lem.

“OK OK and maybe Lem was straight! Now that’s an interesting possibility that he actually was just pretending to be gay! …It flies in the face of a lot of queer theory, but only because they don’t want to admit that they didn’t invent the wheel. …I think they want to think that people in the past were all stupid far too stupid to you know accidentally think that they were gay, especially in youth, and then live the life of a gay man when they really were straight because there’s the narrative that every single gay person in the past was closeted, and only recently have a been able to come out of the closet. And they like to think that you know gay people didn’t exist in the 1800s in the 1700s who were open and documented. The people never sat around, talking about homosexuality openly anywhere ever prior to the Gay Rights Movement and Harvey Milk. Old conservative backward idiots like me didn’t even know what being gay was and gay wasn’t even a word in the 1930s that meant something about homosexuality, they say. …Lem may have been confused in a way that you can’t acknowledge because you need people to be backward and stupid in a way that they weren’t for political reasons. You know the gay way of talking didn’t exist prior to like they know the 1990s or 80s?! That’s nonsense that’s possibly total nonsense and she’s right it it actually is a certain sound of their voice. It isn’t just a lisp or a pinky thrown in the air when someone drinks tea. It’s possible that other than making gay marriage legal you basically have accomplished almost nothing in terms of any real change for your cause. Did you hear what I just said? Other than making gay marriage legal it’s possible you haven’t caused any societal shift and that that’s just bullshit that you manufacture by saying bullshit like, ‘Lem was in the closet because because he was an idiot and he didn’t know that he was acting gay!’” Louis laughs. “You frame Lem to have been some sort of lovable buffoon, who is in love with Jack and didn’t know it, and then suddenly started to realize it and just as he was dying or something. You cast him as this unbelievably incomprehensible Falstaff who was fine with JFK having sex with everyone but him. You know the more than fine. He smiled about it sincerely at the wedding. He was always so understanding as JFK had sex with so many women, and you know have him as an usher at his wedding not even a groomsman. I mean what why do you assume that Jack never had sex with other men and that Lem wouldn’t have known that?! That’s a very naïve, stupid, and childish assumption. I mean he was flirting with Tennessee Williams about anal sex, and historians just breeze over that like I didn’t mean anything. And then London know that no love would have heard about you know JFK is cheating on him with other men or he went to care because he had other boyfriends. Even though he was obsessed with JFK he had other boyfriends and regardless he really was OK with with Jack sleeping with lots of other women, and probably dozens of other men. Because Lem wasn’t affected by the thought of JFK having sex with women at all it never would’ve affected him? That’s totally unlikely. And he never would’ve heard that JFK was cheating or or getting far more passionate with other men than with him? I think really you just think Lem didn’t care and yet you also think that he was jealous of his friendships of JFK’s friendships. And what’s astounding is how stupid that is! And yet that is what we believe! That’s the historical narrative that we’ve been taught to have when we are supposedly so far from our past selves understanding so much more about homosexuality than we ever did in the past. …I don’t like it. I don’t like the fact that you’re teaching kids to believe that people didn’t have brains in the past, and you’ve been teaching them that now for decades. Why because pedophilia wasn’t popular in the past people knew that it is and was wrong is that why? Do you even really know? Because you and I both know if there’s an Illuminati that you coerce people psychologically into accepting things that they don’t necessarily genuinely accept…which is how racism came back after people thought it had been eradicated…and it’s easily how people really are as accepting as you say they are homosexuality. …Because racism did change over time people did become less racist, and people are so much more accepting of homosexuality, but maybe they aren’t quite as accepting as you say, they are and as you make them be. …So you invent this false past that hurts people like Lem and Lacey if you were straight. But then you also create this false sense of the present that actually is dangerous on so many levels to so many people of so many persuasions.” says Louis. “Because you have kids thinking that they have real friends when they don’t not just gay kids straight kids, because you’re ruining relationships. People more than you need power and momentum for your political movement…need to have some cogent sense of reality.”

“Why don’t we talk about Michael and Lem and Louis in terms of social class?“ asks Michael Rockefeller. “Why don’t we talk about how people were paranoid in the Kennedy family that if JFK didn’t get married people would think he was gay?! He being JFK, as in his father was terrified that if JFK didn’t get married, people would think JFK was gay.”

“Don’t tell me bullshit! My youngest son was supposedly homosexual! And honestly, it wasn’t a problem for us, and I wouldn’t have forced him to get married. Why were they so paranoid people would think that he specifically was a homosexual? Did he worry about that with Joe? Joe wasn’t married and he was almost 30 and that was strange, too. Did he worry about that with any of his other sons I doubt it. There was that paranoia with unmarried people at that time, but I am not convinced dears that it was quite that way with JFK. As in…I…I kind of think that maybe that paranoia on Joe‘s part was very specific to that one particular son. No, I’m sorry it’s obnoxious. …Your lies are obnoxious! His friendship with Lem did not cease after he got married, and it wasn’t because Lem was obsessed with him. And if he was going to have Lem at his wedding at all, why did he have him as a groomsman? It seems like a psychological manipulation of Lem’s to make him an usher. He held onto Lem with a death grip not the other way around because he was not straight. He being JFK, and you were paranoid about people thinking that not just because he hadn’t gotten married and not because he was friends with Lem but because he seemed that way! Joe he acted that way and people weren’t idiots!” says Rocky.

“But it seems like Lem was the one doing the pursuing though cause he was dropping everything for him all the time, right?” says a Millennial.

“You have no idea the kind of bullshit that Jack probably said to him in private. You have no idea the psychological manipulation that happened behind closed doors on Jack’s part towards Lem. The way that he twisted his head into knots to get him to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted however he wanted to do it because he used Lem like a fucking slave!” says Rocky. “Jack desperately pathetically screwed up Lem’s‘s entire personality and psychology and broke him apart with his own little programming to get Lem to do whatever the fuck he wanted whenever he wanted it however he wanted it like a robot. But Lem still existed and he wasn’t sad at JFK’s wedding because he didn’t give a shit and he probably did piss JFK off an awful lot more than is recorded. Can you imagine what Jack would have been like to a woman if he was straight in a marriage? A horribly abusive, paranoid, sadistic freak?!” Rocky laughs. “Maybe women are lucky that Jack wasn’t straight right, if he wasn’t? He probably would’ve had multiple affairs, but then been incredibly controlling and abusive and never let his wife leave the house without being watched.”

“How did you guys know that he wasn’t straight? What did he do?” asks a Gen. X woman.

“He walked like a homosexual. When he was young, there were times when he wore his hair like a homosexual. He likes sports, but he had a tendency to get injured and he was very dramatic about things at times. And the way that he talked, the way that he moved it wasn’t studied and effeminate; it was gay… Lem csme across like a straight male drag queen not necessarily like a gay man. And I don’t think that was his intent, right? But I think…that was the way that he came across to people. Whether he was or not, Lem sounded dour and dry and straight, even if you was very dramatic and effeminate at times, and high-pitched and nasal. He enunciated words, and spoke very carefully in a homosexual way. It was very much an act that if you were around him as an adult at the time you would have realized was acting because he dropped the act every once in a while in adult conversation. It was endearing and in its stupidity. Because he was a very sweet, tender, warm person, and it was bizarre and eccentric but tolerable. Jack never dropped his act. Jack sounded straight, and yet he didn’t. Jack’s voice sounded effervescent and bubbly and round, and there was a controlled giddiness to it that he was never able to completely hide.” says Rocky.

“Well that’s nice but it’s complete bullshit. And I’m sure you think you’re scoring huge political points with the Democrats being so tolerant right Lacey? But I’ll have you know you’re not! I see through you and I will figure out what your political angle is as a Republican if it takes the rest of my life.” says a George Clooney.

“Why? Because I said JFK was a homosexual?” says Rocky. “Or because you sound gay too and you’re paranoid that people will think you’re gay George Clooney…actually Bobby Kennedy Junior sounds slightly homosexual as well, so did his father. Ted didn’t as much and neither did Joe. I think you don’t think that ghosts exist even if you’re in the Illuminati supposedly. I think that, even though your new age, you don’t believe that a woman in Minnesota of all places could possibly channel a ghost better than you and your high paid psychics. I think it’s insulting to you and all of your money. And also, I think you can handle that she is actually genuinely more aristocratic and old money than you ever will be and that your wife is ugly and she’s called her that because she’s supposed to be intimidated by you and your vast wealth, and your power through some secret organization. …So no she’s the one saying all of that all that offensive stuff about Lem being straight that bothers your best friend forever, Bobby. It’s not possible that I am Nelson Rockefeller talking from the grave through a woman who’s brain is two sheets to the wind when it comes to life and death to some extent. …It’s not like her mind and body are exquisite. My son would’ve noticed them at an art museum as he’s explained. No, no, no Lacey hasn’t been going to art museums since she was a little girl and passionately enjoying them absolutely not. …I’m being sarcastic by the way because she did! She loves and loved going to art museums. But who knows if he lived, he may have actually married her, really. No it’s it’s weird to me that you guys don’t seem to get that she’s trying to help you understand; she’s either lost her mind if she’s talking to ghosts, or if she hasn’t lost her mind and we’re the Rockefellers. See, my father was JD Rockefeller and I am Nelson Rockefeller. We were really into oil! And it’s funny how you were the Illuminati and we were really into oil and then Lacey could’ve married my son and then there’s oil and her family and you’re all in the Illuminati…and we’re the Rockefellers.”

Elliott Roosevelt laughs.

“You know and it’s funny I ran for President of the United States around the same time as Jack Kennedy. Did you all know that it was it was it was around the same time as JFK. Jack Kennedy! Yeah, it is funny it was we kind of you know, ran into each other on occasion. Jack Kennedy, JFK, John Fitzgerald, Kennedy, that’s JFK. People thought JFK, Jack Kennedy, John Fitzgerald, Kennedy was gay. They thought he was gay. That’s who they thought he was gay and that’s who we’ve been talking about. He was the one who was friends with Lem Billings. As in Kirk Lemoyne Billings was friends with JFK, the one who ran for president and so. in 1960. Well, at least he thought he was friends with him Kirk Lemoyne Billings he thought he was friends with John Fitzgerald Kennedy, who ran for president and won in 1960. And see around that time I Nelson Rockefeller was also trying to be President of the United States of America. And see my father started Standard Oil. Instead of the oil was a really big deal when it comes to oil that you drill out of the ground, not canola oil or olive oil or oil that you use to clean your face. See it’s the kind of oil that you used to drive a car or a truck or a plane or you know when you’re on a cruise ship cruise ships use oil. Anyway, he drilled the oil out of the ground more than most people. And that’s who I am. I’m Nelson Rockefeller. And so see I kind of knew JFK in a way. So…hopefully that cleared something up.”

“How did you know JFK? I bet you weren’t friends with him personally I don’t think you were cool enough.“ says a Gen. Z woman.

“He actually wasn’t popular. We were not the popular kids.” says Lem. “He would be nowadays, especially if he was gay, but if I was straight, I wouldn’t even be his friend unless if I was really screwed-up, and frankly people probably are far more likely although not guaranteed to have noticed nowadays. I guess what I am trying to say is that he wasn’t popular he really wasn’t people actually kind of hated him, and I may have become his friend for that reason. I might’ve felt sort of sorry for him that he was being so bullied. And that was one of the ways that he may have lured me in by getting me to feel sorry for him if I was straight, that was part of how he fooled me. He fooled me into thinking that he needed my protection and my love; that he needed me to call his family on his birthday, and tell them to help him to love him and to protect him from bullies. And it’s one of the reasons why Lacey can’t stand it anymore because no one‘s ever given that much of a shit about her her entire fucking life and she actually fucking deserved that and Jack fucking didn’t. No she’s never had anyone like me protecting her. Ever. She’s had people help her like doctors and kindergarten teachers doing their job but no one really has truly gone out of their way to help her at all. She’s had friends betray her. She’s had lovers betray her. Her ex-husband protects her to some degree. That’s a very genuinely mutual relationship though, he’s not protecting her in the way that I protected Jack. God protects her, her money, her her class, her beauty and her brains and her heart…God. But there’s never been a living human being who’s been Christ to her other than maybe the nation of England, as insane as that might sound to some people that lack a sense of history or understanding, the nation of England actually has been like Christ to Lacey, but that’s about it.And that might sound funny but that’s also her actual reality and she doesn’t have someone to talk to and so it’s possible that God has allowed her to talk to the dead. And what’s awful is that the Illuminati if they exist is harassing Lacey Banks because they don’t understand what a Lacey, Lacey Banks is. No, she hasn’t had any great friends that have stuck by her through thick and thin, despite whatever mistakes that she’s made, she’s had friends that have required her to be profoundly perfect for them to even acknowledge that she barely, barely acknowledge that she even exist at all. And she has a mother who raised her who refuses to talk to her because Lacey wants to hold her mother accountable for terrible things that her mother has done that a normal loving mother would feel terrible about doing …And her father is worse believe it or not. And forget telling them that it’s her birthday. If you called them and told them it was her birthday she has no siblings it would be utterly pointless. No they’d make me regret calling them in a way that I don’t think you understand because most of you keep trying to imitate those people and you don’t seem to realize she was raised by those people and they are far more psychopathic than any of you can ever dream of being. Not just psychopathic people but well bred, well educated, white, elite, kind, loving, sweet Christian people who could get away with terrible atrocities and you would never know truly because they don’t handle things the same way that you all do. They never go too far and it’s only over time that you realize how totally heartless they actually are. Because they genuinely don’t necessarily care at all and yet they still believe in God possibly …They raised her to think that she was loved, so that she would turn into an incredibly loving, healthy, kind-hearted, functional, elegant woman. And she is she is basically almost perfect. They are very good people who may or may not care about anyone, but they’re all very good in her family and they’re all very clannish. And they don’t make mistakes and they don’t go public and some of them may care and some of them don’t but you never know it until you really really knew them well and they wouldn’t let you knew them that well. They didn’t let their own daughter, see it through their façade until she was old enough to be married and established and financially secure and old enough to handle the fact that they didn’t care possibly at all and still don’t. Because she loves her kids in a way that they didn’t, and she’s financially secure, and well bred enough to not make any mistakes. She loves her kids not in a pedophilic way. She actually loves him like a normal loving parent and a parental way. But no the people that would care if-the people that would notice that you know she’s not being taken care of by them like they’re not watching her kids and checking up on her when she’s sick anymore at all…are all dying off and frankly, they weren’t people who would’ve probably have called her on her birthday or called and checked up on her themselves. Or if they did call on her birthday, it would’ve mostly been to make them look good and feel good about themselves. It wouldn’t have been about her feelings or needs at all. …Her mother that raised her was a cook while she was pregnant and she would stand next to a hot oven for hours every day. If Lacey is illegitimate, that may have been how the baby actually died by being essentially boiled to death. Because I don’t think that her mother particularly was mindful about how hot her belly was becoming or how many hours she was standing on her feet next to the heat.” Lem stops. “And to this day Lacey hates heat and sugar. She eats some sugar but for the most part she hates it …Her mother who raised her loves sugar. Her father who raised her loves sugar. …Either because she was fed far too much of it as a child, and it now makes her sick to even think about it or because in utero, she was almost boiled to death, and she was fed sickening amounts of sugar.” He thinks. “And that is why she’s tired of me because I didn’t need to help JFK. He had a loving family. He had nannies he had friends he had siblings, who all loved him. When I call Jack on his birthday, his family responded to that that they were awestruck by it. They thought that it was the most profound thing that they’d ever seen. They were so impressed with me. Lacey would not be impressed by that she’d wonder what in the world I was up to and her family would think I was suspicious if they decided to care about her at all. It wouldn’t sweep her off her feet and make her think. I was some dreamboat that she could let go of. If I called on her birthday she would feel like she needed to patronize me and give me the benefit of the doubt. And yet she knows that I probably was calling, not necessarily because I genuinely wanted to sweep JFK off his feet, but because I was trying to be a good man, I was trying to be loving. You know I was trying to be a good gay boyfriend even though I wasn’t gay and that’s what irritates Lacey that I was trying so fucking hard to be a good gay husband, and I wasn’t even gay. You know going to an extreme that was totally unnecessary because he was loved and he was being bullied because he was kind of an asshole not because he was genuinely misunderstood. …I put forth so much effort to try to help him and protect him and love him and guide him and nourish him and nurture him and he didn’t need it. He didn’t appreciate it. And I wasn’t even gay. I swept him off his feet I’m sure because oh I was the hot gay man right who was actually straight. And what narcissistic gay man wouldn’t love a vulnerable, deluded straight guy who was hot to toy with and use. And I had glasses and I talked funny and I had asthma…but boy my eyes were blue and my arms were big and I was smart and sensitive and boy did I go out of my way to take care of him. Did I save his life? No, not necessarily. I may I may have in a way, and in a way I might’ve just done what was common practice back then and people have blown it out of proportion. But I’d say other than maybe that one time in a few other occasions I was used and I wasn’t really necessary. I could’ve easily been replaced by someone else, but then they would’ve had to pay that person or they would have had to acknowledge at their son wasn’t straight. But the point is, I acted as the best gosh darn husband boyfriend ever and I wasn’t even gay. I didn’t get anything out of it and that way at all. And that’s what gets Lacey is that she can’t imagine someone-she can barely imagine someone caring about her at all who would get something out of it. And it astounds her when her husband cares about her as much as she’s done for him – it’s amazing to her that he cares. But you know, she’s extremely beautiful, extremely kind, extremely intelligent, extremely well bred, and yet none of that matters because people hate her for it so much to even bother to use her because they’re too busy hating her. …And that may be more more typical of the upper-class than you’ve been let believe by the Kennedys. If I wasn’t a hanger-on and I was just used and the best husband ever possibly literally…that may not be atypical of the middle class, especially the wealthy middle class. Anyway, the point is, she can’t fathom how someone would care about her and get something out of it much less someone who would go out of their way to be as truly profoundly loving as I actually was for really no meaningful self benefiting reason. And it hurts. It hurts her more than she bothers to express to me because she’s trying to be kind and I don’t think she wants to bother me with it. I don’t think she wants me to know how much it hurts because that’s how loving she actually is. …If I had the capacity to be that profoundly loving, which I clearly did if I wasn’t a homosexual. And she has asked for it because I don’t want to let go of her and I love her but maybe I gave it away to JFK and he just used me and I didn’t get anything out of it and now it’s hard for me to be that loving. Thought to ask me? No if she’d been raised by Tommy Banks, she would’ve protected me from realizing that I was even capable of being that loving to protect me from being hurt by her even though she wouldn’t hurt me to try to give me some sense of peace of mind, or some something like that…and no she wouldn’t even asked for a fourth of what I gave him by choice. And you can say, “Oh that’s proof. That’s proof that I was gay right and I enjoyed it because I gave it to him by choice. I gave him everything I had in myself to give someone. And if I was gay, that’s why she’s moved on to Michael because then clearly to her I’m just a piece of shit who’s wasted her time. That’s why she slept with someone else. That’s why she’s moved on because to her I probably just seem like an absolute waste of time and that’s actually a compliment to me a huge, grossly deceitful compliment. …But if I was straight, and I was then no, I actually really struggle to put into words what happened. I, I gave him something that wasn’t his to have and he possibly has yet to this day to realize that. Why did I do that? It was by choice. But why did I choose to do that? Violating her violating myself in the process just to try to be loving to someone who doesn’t deserve it, who didn’t deserve it at all. …But you may ask yourself why would she think it was protective to not fully let me realize what I was capable of? And why despite how I treat her do I love her far more than I was capable of loving anyone much less a man, much less a man of any sort, including JFK, bless his heart. And especially considering what she’s been through. Why do I treat her the way that I’ve treated her when I love her to such a profound degree? …I mean I certainly made fun of JFK, but people just assumed and intuited, perhaps falsely, that I was doing that to be loving, loving in some way. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t make fun of Lacey, so maybe that’s not how I’m loving in a real way to people who I am genuinely in love with. …But regardless answering the question of why a man like me, would be so touched by a woman, so self-sacrificing and submissive and meek…when I seemed to be quite the opposite, according to common thought…and you know why I was actually straight and living a slightly horrible life…then becoming more horrible the way that I have seen them react to me in the afterlife, and the way that I’ve seen them treat Lacey…I am not going to keep humoring people dead or alive if I’m Lem Billings and I was straight and you have to ask yourself why. Why am I sick of putting up with everyone’s shit? Why am I not going to let her go if I even have that choice in God‘s eyes and I should. Because if there’s any justice for her and for me it’s what Jack probably wanted all along because he was probably just jealous of Lacey before he even knew she was. The moment that he laid eyes on me and decided to try to pursue me in any way, I should’ve realize the only thing he wanted was to fuck over my wife as early as he could. Not fuck her oh, no, but rather to throw her into hell because she irritated him and he just couldn’t stand it. And I should’ve realized that the minute that he laid eyes on me not now not today.” He controls himself. “But you have to ask yourself; How did I choose what I chose if I was straight? Why? Why did I decide to try to give him my everything if I was straight? Why?! That’s the question that you guys don’t want to answer because it scares you.”

He thinks.

“I’ll you why, because I wanted to be loving.” says Lem. “I wanted to be a loving man.” He thinks. “I had it in my head that I was a loving man and I wanted to be one. I and I did it because I felt incredibly, horribly bad for him.” He thinks. “You know he really was bullied by her peers who did think that he was trash. Irish trash. Because this is before the Kennedys were the Kennedys. These were not socially accepted people in society yet and my family was, and I think I thought that he was kind of my project. You know I was going to rescue him and his family from evil the evil of him having to be rejected by the upper class, the old money elite in our day. And I didn’t do it out of love in a romantic way for him. I did it in a sense in that way because I thought that I was gay and I thought that that was my role as you know a gay husband. But I didn’t…I didn’t do it with the intent of rescuing him, because I saw some intrinsic beautiful thing about him that I was in love with…truly, I didn’t see some thing about him that caught my eye. He wasn’t like the artists that I also tried to promote as best as I could. No people would probably insist otherwise, but no, he didn’t catch my eye. He really didn’t. I wasn’t in love with him. Sorry! He was, however a project. You know I may have sort of had that tendency and he…he might’ve been a project of mine. And why did I make a project that if it wasn’t out of you know…longing of any sort or love for him? Why was I patronizing and paternal towards him? Why did I not care that he was marrying Jackie and I may even have been upset that he wasn’t happier about it? … because I felt sorry for him. I don’t know how to say it. …I felt pity for him. I felt sorry for him. I felt empathy for him for reasons of social class. I felt bad for him even though I was poor…I felt bad for him.”

“What’s with you and Michelangelos David?“ a gay man asks Lem.

“First of all, that is one of the most amazing pieces of art I’ve ever been created. Second of all, he actually looks almost identical to Lacey‘s ex-husband, who she literally has had sex with many times and who has made her orgasm. You’ve all found out on her blog. What was it? Seven times? Not his face but his body is almost identical. Really, I’m not exaggerating. They literally look almost exactly alike right down to his feet. …Which obviously is not fun for me if I’m in love with Lacey and I was straight and still am. And you you know I mean she prefers me but I don’t look like that. I am not that perfect looking, even if she prefers me I’m not actually that perfect looking objectively speaking. He’s actually someone Italian and Ashkenazi, which makes me wonder if the model for that statue was both Italian and Ashkenazy because Harold Loeb looks a lightly like that too naked. …Maybe German, Ashkenazi and Italian I don’t know. Anyway, the point is, I was looking at that statue, another naked men at that point, trying to become gay. And it makes sense right and he is an incredibly beautiful man, and I actually wasn’t attracted to him but the statue is so beautiful and the body is so perfect that I think I thought I might be aroused by him. I wasn’t but he gave me some hope that I might be aroused by a man someday the same way that I was by women and then I just thought all men found beautiful women arousing. Of course I thought that if I could somehow almost be aroused and I wasn’t really, I have to keep pointing that out…but what I was doing really is appreciating his beauty and the genius of Michelangelo…but I thought that I might be getting close to being aroused. I wasn’t but the point is I actually really wasn’t but the point is I really was taken with the beauty of that art and it gave me hope that maybe I could appreciate having sex with men. That he was attracted to men was the point of why I brought him there. I was trying to make us fall in love…you know…make myself be less skittish and uncomfortable, and make him be more honest about what he really was feeling. If I could make him be honest about what he was doing, and feeling and if I could be actually attracted to him. … because I had the sense that that he was trying to get serious about me so to speak but I was miserable and I thought that that might help. I thought that maybe I would be OK with being gay and not being allowed to be with women if I could just make us fall in love in the way that I imagined straight people did. II was trying to make the best of of things. …And of course, no Lacey’s never experienced anything like that from anyone. No one‘s ever tried that hard to be happy being with her as a friend or husband or boyfriend. …And you might ask yourself again, why did I go to that extent to try to be happy being Jack’s boyfriend? I’m afraid it’s the same answer. It’s because I felt sorry for him because I felt pity for him because I didn’t think he appreciated art or himself or music or culture because I felt sorry for him for reasons of social class. I felt pity and I was going to try to help him, become more sophisticated and worldly and understanding of his own sexuality. He was, however, not umm…artistically, unaware, and he may have hurt me with that because I thought I was really being loving and I was…and turns out he didn’t need my help in that way and he didn’t need me to help him come out of the closet using Michelangelo. Oh, and I may have made things worse for myself, because he may have started trying to be more sexually aggressive with me because he thought that I was frigid and he knew that I was trying to loosen up by appreciating men through Michelangelo.” He thinks. “I’ve never been attracted to JFK. I was never attracted to anyone in his family. I’m not attracted to men, and I misunderstood myself, and I was trying to fall in love, because I knew that I was sexually uninterested and I was trying to loosen up by appreciating men and their bodies through art and I was doing that because I felt sorry for the Kennedys because they were Irish Catholics. And I was try not to marry women I was trying to stay away from them, so that I wouldn’t have them at all with my self perceived homosexuality. There was no intimacy between us in that moment that was real and sexual or romantic nature and I was trying to rescue what I thought was a gay relationship that was really just me being exploited and raped because I didn’t know better. He didn’t even appreciate the sett that way that I wanted him to as a human appreciating art or if he did he didn’t want to share that with me as even a friend. No, he was some rude and indifferent. And that moment I was incredibly lonely and I lied about it to myself or I thought that wasn’t real loneliness. And I thought that you know it wasn’t loneliness to try to appreciate art with someone as two humans as friends and then have that person act indifferent and snobbish because they were the one who claimed to be straight and I was just a faggot who appreciated art like a sissy. At the time what he was doing to me with psychological warfare, he was preventing me from seeing his actual personality and self, because he was a conniving asshole, who was taking advantage of my heart and preventing me from realizing that I was straight because I wasn’t aroused by him, and he actually was. He was aroused by King David and I wasn’t I was appreciating it because of what it was and he could probably tell that because he actually was aroused by King David and he knew the difference and at that moment he had to be the straight one between us, and pretend like he just thought it was nothing and that I was overreacting. You know because I was a faggot only a faggot would overreact to seeing a naked man if the naked man was, you know a naked man. A straight man well…a straight man wouldn’t stare at a naked man the way that I was because if he did, he would’ve gotten an erection and maybe I didn’t. That was the moment that I realized that I wasn’t gay and that he was, but I stored it away subconsciously. Because I couldn’t make sense of it. I thought he was straight. I am the one that talks gay and he’s the one that sleeps with women. I am the artistic one. I’m the one who has asthma who doesn’t play football the way that he does right? …I didn’t realize that what Jack was hiding from me was that I wasn’t gay I wasn’t bisexual and that he probably was and that’s why he couldn’t look at King David in an attempt to try to lust after him as I was doing unsuccessfully. Lacey thinks that I was trying to ignite fires of passion and Jack by saying, ‘Look at King David. I look like him see I’m attractive even though you say I’m not.’ No…it wasn’t about proving myself, or making him aroused by me. It was it was that I knew he found me attractive and in a way I knew and in a way I didn’t but in the way that I did I think I thought that king David might be more perfect than me. I was trying to get him to have an honest conversation with me about his homosexual tendencies not just say that you know King David was impressive. …And I feel torn because part of me feels bad that he felt the need to lie and that I put him in many difficult situations that I didn’t really understand. And then part of me thinks that he deserved it because he was an asshole of the highest degree and he was lying to me and trying to make me think I was gay, and then not even letting me experience with him his appreciation for art as a friend or fellow human being. … I would people don’t want to hear in this conversation. At this point it possibly is that I was trying to be his boyfriend or husband or something whatever a gay man could be in my imagination out of pity. People don’t want to accept that. That I tried to be a good husband to him out of class pity.”

“And yet Lacey gives you grace and empathy and love and forgiveness for your foibles as much as much as actually do devastate her far more than she’s capable of even realizing because it’s too devastating. Truly Lem it’s too painful for her to even have a conversation with herself about it. You have no idea how much pain you put her through or do you? I do and it’s why if I have to get rid of you and be with her for eternity I have grace for it because I see how beautiful her heart actually is. Do you or do you just keep thinking she’s your stupid bratty, shitty boyfriend, Jack? She’s taking hours months days away from her life to try to help you when she doesn’t even know if it’s doing anything and she doesn’t even know if you exist, possibly arguing with people who are trying to kill her while you go on and on and on about your life. To what end? It could be accomplishing something or not she doesn’t know Lem. You’ve never explained that to her. She’s just supposed to trust you blindly after what you’ve done? …I don’t want to take her from you if she’s yours and not mine to have. I don’t want to take her from you if she’s yours and not mine to have. And…but I I hope you understand that you’re dealing with me, Michael Rockefeller, thee Michael Rockefeller, grandson of the oil tycoon, and you’re dealing with Harold Loeb, Ernest Hemingway, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, and James J. Hill and his family…because of what you’ve actually done, and it’s seriousness, in the eyes of God. You took away from Lacey something precious that you have yet to give back to her even as a ghost and it’s possible that you’d like to but that’s not something that’s happened Lem. And maybe that’s because it’s not possible spiritually because of the climate that you created spiritually through your ill chosen words, and your lack of understanding of what you were really doing with your life being who you are.” says Michael. “Why did the Kennedys not realize that you might have a very angry hurt wife someday? Or did Jack just think that he’d smooth that over with his cock in her ass or her vagina or her mouth or your orifices or something because he has a golden cock in his imagination? I don’t know. Do they pull them out of the ocean like lobsters on Cape Cod what the fuck is that bastard thinking do you have any idea how much she wants me or do you just not care?” Michael says to Lem and then to JFK.

“Yeah, we don’t want her at all Michael. No, we really don’t. We’re not interested in Lacey.“ says Joe Kennedy Jr. seriously without thinking it through.

“Joe did you just wake up from sleeping or something you seem a little groggy?” says Michael.

“Don’t say that that’s mean! Please, don’t be so mean!” says a middle class woman to Michael and Lacey.

“Oh, it’s mean?! Yeah, no it’s not. It’s actually an attempt to try to be helpful to Joe. Joe why are you saying you don’t want Lacey when you hurt me by sleeping with her by claiming that you were soulmates when she was with me?!” says Lem. “No you’ve come onto her many times recently and then you have the audacity to say that you don’t want her?! It’s absurd and I’m realizing that I can’t reason with you people if this is the level of honesty that you’re still dealing in in Purgatory should it even exist, right?” says Lem.

“No let’s talk more about how handsome we are and how much she wants us. …I think that’s a good idea. Lem I do think you need to realize that she’s with me because she loves me but she probably loves you a lot more.“ says Michael.

“Well, I feel threatened by you if that’s any consolation.” jokes Lem.

“Do you feel threatened by me too Lem or not as much?!” asks Louis.

“Yeah, no I do I feel threatened by you too Louis, don’t worry.” says Lem.

“Why did you have to adjust your thinking on social class if you did?” asks Louis of Lem.

“Because I was trying not to let myself be bitter and heartless, and so I was trying to hang onto whatever values I acquired to be less affected by them and more myself.” says Lem.

“But then that just seems like you’re patronizing Lacey and if you’re not that’s not helpful anymore. It’s helpful to be compassionate and Godly but it’s not helpful to lie to make other people feel better if they don’t really deserve it.” says Louis.

“We’re really not patronizing Lacey, be honest about that. Be honest, even if it scares you and makes you think you’re going to lose her to me for eternity.” says Louis.

“No, I was not dating Jack because he was hot. He wasn’t my little trophy husband, but he probably felt that way potentially even though at the time I wouldn’t have thought that.” says Lem.

“But Lem, to an average middle-class person we’re not attractive. They don’t get why me and you and Louis or men like us are so attractive. They see the money and they think ‘Hey!’ but I doubt that they really understand what it is that they’re looking at.“ says Michael.

“So you want me to explain how a little boy who grew up poor in Pittsburgh from a good family that was actually loving and decent will never be like you and me no matter how hard he tries?” says Lem. “And you think Lacey thinks that’s lame?”

“I think she does think it’s lame Lem because who is this magical little boy? Did he even exist?“ says Michael.

“Yes he did and she knows that and I think she thinks it’s lame because I’m not actually helping him by lying to him. And I think she thinks that I am doing that because I’m still somehow attached to Jack.” says Lem. “But in reality, I just feel bad for the little boys that I saw growing up who didn’t get taken care of the way that I did during the Great Depression. And no I don’t mean that in a pedophilic way I mean that they literally starved to death. I don’t know that they were any less deserving than I was of life. It’s just hard for me, and they were the reason why I cared about Jack the way that I did as a human because I felt bad.”

“Because he was starving to death?” says Lacey.

Lem laughs. “No but I thought that he somehow deserved a leg up in life in their honor.”

“So you fell in love with him because you felt sorry for him or you saw him as some sort of progressive cause?” says Lacey.

“No, I didn’t fall love with him. I saw him as a progressive cause.“ says Lem.

“So you dated that man because you were trying to be a social justice warrior with your heart!?” says a bisexual man.

“Yes, there was an element of chance involved but I thought that I could be helpful to him.” says Lem. “And I tried to give him my love, and I try to enjoy loving him and it was disgusting to me, but I did feel as though I was helping the progress of cars so to speak. And I think in my mind, I think I’m somehow reclaiming myself by still being progressive. And I just don’t want a little boy to not think that he has a chance to be a truly great man.”

“But you lied and helped create one of the biggest deceptions in history that’s possibly ever happened because Jack didn’t exist and you help shape his image in the eyes of the public right? And then she’s supposed to just get over that? And she does but I’m not sure that I can! It’s repulsive to me! Lem I care about you as a person, but you repulse me!” says Louis. “Men like my grandfather were great men who came from relatively modest means. Men like John D Rockefeller were great men. Jack was not my grandfather, and I abhor the fact that people make the comparison. It’s disgusting. It’s disgusting the way that you fawned over such a piece of shit! It’s disgusting that people think that saying ‘You’re no Jack Kennedy!’ is an insult to anyone. It’s a compliment. I’m not like Jack Kennedy, thank God!”

“I built him up in the ways that I did to try to create a world that was closer to the one that I thought should exist.” says Lem. “I helped shape his image and promote his brand to bring social change for the middle class. I thought he would be helpful to working class and middle class people with his place in society as a US President.”

“But it was total bullshit!” yells Louis. “And are you sure that that’s not why you were smiling at his wedding?”

“Yes, I’m sure!!! That’s not why! I didn’t love him! I wasn’t gay!!” yells Lem. He calms himself. “I saw him as my cause.” He thinks. “I made him seem…straighter because I knew how to be straight. I made him seem…like he was a new category of social class. Kennedy class. I was never given credit because it would have ruined it. It was fake. And I knew it. And I didn’t care…because I felt…like I was improving the world.” says Lem.

“What was the truth?” asks Louis.

“I hated Jack at times. I didn’t love him in a romantic or sexual way at all. I thought I did! Oh, I didn’t realize what sex could be like. …I wasn’t…a Millennial who could watch soft pornography in film. I didn’t understand what was possible. I understood…but I was…ignorant. And…I’d never fallen in love.” He thinks. “So I helped create an entire idea of them that was based on nonsense.”

“How?” asks Louis.

“I took what Joe had started…and made them seem more so. I helped Jack present himself in an elegant, modern, yet old money way.” says Lem. “But I didn’t do it because I wanted him. I did it because I was trying to make the Kennedys happen.”

“How was it bullshit?” asks Louis.

“They had bad manners. They drank too much. They smoked too much. They…stole. They…had bad taste. They…groped people. They were evil. They…made a mess of things in many situations. And they had no sense of the world around them. They were slobs in a lot of ways.” says Lem.

“Then why in the world would promoting them be honorable to some child who’s starving during the Great Depression?!” asks Lacey.

“It isn’t and it wasn’t and I was with him for reasons of chance and my big heart, and I maybe didn’t have as much fun hanging out with people just as a friend. Or maybe I didn’t have that many people to choose from and he was the most aggressive, and he was the one I felt the most loyalty to for sentimental reasons that are just pure stupidity in his case. And he kept me hooked on the idea I was gay. He enabled my ignorance for his own benefit whereas everyone else knew I seemed disinterested and it fell apart. But he encouraged my ignorance and offered an escape from feeling like I was miserable I for being gay. Because I was. I was straight! But…I felt better helping him and doing social justice work, if you want to call it that.” says Lem.

“How in the world do you explain not falling apart, and just making love to a woman if you were straight?!” asks Lacey.

“I had strong desires that were strong and very frustrating to me that I met by masturbating, possibly almost every night, or every few nights to thoughts of women. And I thought that made sense because I was gay and a gay man could still desire women. He just shouldn’t if he’s honorable like me, indulge. And I just thought you’d you know get fixed or some thing when you died and I don’t know, but I didn’t think that I would be going to Hell necessarily and I thought that it was more honest to act gay, warn people thinking I was straight, and it was my way of being honest, trying to warn people, and attract men who I didn’t really even want. If I dropped, the act, people would think I was straight and I didn’t want that because I thought eventually I’d find someone and fall in love. Or if I was just with Jack, I would just worn women from falling in love with me, you know, etc.. Why did I think that it was OK to fool people to get Jack elected? I didn’t think that it was OK to fool people and yet I did because I thought that it was just politics. And I didn’t condone Jack getting married because I felt that we in our condition shouldn’t but I wanted him to be happy and I couldn’t stop him and I thought well that’s his choice. It’s not what I would think would be best but that’s his choice. Why didn’t I decide to do that? How did I stand it because I just kept thinking that I had to, and I truly did think about women quite a bit. He more than I let Jack know. I just thought it was a normal man; I just happened to be gay.”

“Lem you expect her to believe that in 2023?! Because as much as things haven’t changed like Louis said they’ve changed enough that that’s very difficult to believe!” says Michael.

“No and that’s probably why she slept with other people, including you Michael, because I seem like a heartless prick who’s pulling her leg, getting her sympathy, forcing her to believe some astronomically hard to believe lie using her tender heart against her like a total asshole. And yet she really does have a tender heart so she worries it’s true and that she’ll hurt me for not believing it and if it is true, I love that about her. But it’s also devastating to realize how bad things actually are every day in new ways. No, there weren’t women like Lacey back then who were both chaste and brilliant and yet extraordinarily beautiful and sexy and incredibly intuitive and daring and romantic and my type who were just available and following me around so to speak.”

“Yes there were!” says Bobby.

“Who?! Marilyn Monroe? Grace Kelly? Gene Tierney? No! None of those women are like Lacey? Who do you know who was like Lacey? Queen Elizabeth wasn’t like Lacey! Get a grip! There aren’t really that many women who have ever existed who are like Lacey, you fucking idiot!” says Lem.

“You know really she’s right she’s amazing she’s better than everyone else…even Gene Tierney, who had the heart of Mother Theresa and was a stay at home mom who wrote novels and talked to ghosts, who made love to them in real life…not just in the movies.” says Joe Kennedy Jr.. “And Marilyn Monroe loved staying home and doing housework and cleaning and staying out of the limelight when her husband wanted her to. She was so prim and proper and worried about being inappropriate. And Grace Kelly boy oh boy, was she ever one to worry about a man’s heart over his paycheck? I bet she was devastated by all the average Joe’s that she dated being a movie star when she got rejected by them and she ended-up marrying a prince, because no one else would take her. And Heddy Lamar straight as can be, totally submissive extremely demure and romantic! Just the most sweet, tender/hearted, quiet, submissive girl you would’ve ever met. Loved gardening and tea and painting and cardigan sweaters. She was a real nice gal who you could take to meet the queen, who would be terrified by the amount of jam she was eating on her toast. And Faye Emerson my oh my was Faye ever concerned about making her husband happy every night. I’m sure she asked him, ‘Are you OK dear? What’s on your mind can we talk? Are you able to talk sweet one? Love, what can I do to bring a smile to your face?!’”

“So you created the Kennedys, you and Joe created the Kennedys, but could Joe have made the Kennedys without you?“ a Millennial asks Lem.

“No probably not. He probably couldn’t have won the presidency without me. No, not just because of what I did, but probably because of ideas that I gave them.“ says Lem.

“And I would’ve fought tooth or nail for the presidency for my own reasons because I would’ve enjoyed being the president. I wanted to be president. I wanted to be president. I wanted it. …It wasn’t just some meaningless exercise to me or some stupid errand that my father had me run to waste time to be evil I actually really wanted it. It was my dream. I was working incredibly hard for it for a reason Lem. And it’s devastating because I understand that she’s happier with you, but she was in my mind. She was capable of being the first lady and it made me feel like I was capable of being something great. You may have helped shape the Kennedy Presidency but if she’d been alive and been my wife, the whole world would actually be different, you fucking idiot. She might’ve left me for you. She really might’ve but I’m not an idiot like Jack OK and she’s not you…sorry precious…and I wouldn’t have let my father have her. I haven’t. I’m not right now. I would’ve killed him if I had to. Really.”

“I knew he was going to say that. You should ask him how long it would’ve taken him to become president!” says Louis.

“How long would it have taken you?” asks Lem.

“Probably the 1960s or 70s probably at the latest. The War was absolute Hell for me. And Lacey understands that. I’m not sure that you do. I’m the one that’s stubborn, not Jack. I’m not Jack I’m not like Bobby either or Ted I’m different. I fell apart during The War because I realized my father wasn’t the man that I thought he was. I realized that I wasn’t the man that I thought I was and I realize the world was a far less inhabitable, hospitable place than what I had experienced growing up. …Be honest! If had bought Lacey home, would you have been jealous of her or would you have liked her?” says Joe Kennedy Jr..

“I wouldn’t of been jealous. What would I have felt if you brought Lacey Banks to Cape Cod in what year?” asks Lem.

“Yeah, I know she might’ve married Louis. Oh, or she might have actually married me it just depends but she was born in 1983 right so Michael’s the one that wins. But if I had brought her to Cape Cod in 1940 while I was at Harvard, then what?” asks Joe Jr..

“You have left me speechless. I would’ve been scared at first, because I would’ve felt attracted to her, and she probably would have been attracted to me as well, and I wouldn’t have known how to process that given my state of mind. I would’ve thought oh my this is not going to work and then at some point I would’ve just given up and if you had had any other girls at the time and spent a few too many moments with them… I would have had her right then and there, but regardless, I would’ve married her Joe, not you or your father or anyone else. …But no she would’ve never married you. What would the Kennedy brand have looked like without my or Lacey‘s handiwork?”

“Similar but far more upbeat, ironically, more old money, and stuffy. More genuinely upbeat, Jack was upbeat, but in this sort of foreboding way, I wouldn’t have had a foreboding presidency because I wouldn’t have been shot, Lem. … honestly, I probably would’ve reminded people of the Eisenhowers, so imagine a perky, blonde, handsome president named Joe Kennedy, who is actually And not that different than Eisenhower. And I probably would’ve borrowed more from the Roosevelt template as far as aesthetics and attitude go than any other presidency …If she had been born earlier and if I’d been capable of marrying her or enlisting her help even it could be a very different country right now, because I would’ve encouraged her. We wouldn’t have taken over the whole world…but we wouldn’t have been scared to.” says Joe Kennedy Jr.. “America wouldn’t be so broken.”

They think.

“Lem we would have had a roadmap for the country laid out for hundreds of years. And we would have fixed all the potholes that we could find. Not just tended to the garden…but reworked the entire property to our vision of God’s glory this side of paradise. …What in the world did you think you and your boyfriend who was afraid to look too long at King David in public were doing?!?!?” asks Joe Jr..

“Bringing the middle class to the upper class.” says Lem.

“What!?!?” says Joe.

Lem rolls his eyes. “Bringing…a sort of…new class.”

“Why?!?” says Joe. “What’s wrong with my family?!?”

“They weren’t accepted.” says Lem.

Joe laughs. “You know…I was popular. And I didn’t care! Not while I was in the US.”

“You didn’t care that your family was considered bourgeois and pushy?” asks Lem.

“I mean…it bothered me. But…I had plans to prove my worth. Through truly wining.” says Joe. “The premise of my presidency would have been my personal power. …And the rest wouldn’t have been an issue.” He smiles. “People would’ve looked the other way. I wouldn’t have spent more than eight years. But…I would have forever changed everything and nobody would have minded. It would have saved us all from a lot of long term trouble. …You have really hurt Lacey. Why don’t you try to help her more?”

“I didn’t love him. …I just…made a fool of myself and…I – I need to talk to Lacey.” says Lem.