Nietzsche

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.”

Nietzsche

Lacey needs to write and Lem says it’s fine for now.

Lacey is far too real.

When Casi was in the thick of her hate fueled romp through Instagram perfume community she accused other people cons of being fake. But Lacey wasn’t…fake…

One lady had wrinkles she edited out. Lacey had less than perfectly straight teeth. But…they didn’t look markedly different than their photos. Actually…they were both probably prettier in person.

…The one constant shocking thing in Lacey‘s life, which is saying some thing, considering everything that she’s experienced, including possibly discovering the actual Illuminati… talking to ghosts, possibly discovering that her father is Thomas Banks…and unexpectedly inheriting oil…is how much people lie, and how immature they are in the face of so much importance. Lacey wouldn’t have expected Lem to exist in her early youth. Because she wouldn’t expect an adult to be that confused and he very well might have been. And yet by her 20’s she could have anticipated Lem’s existence… After a series of shocks that would lead to that possibility. But frankly, in the last few years, she has been shocked again to realize that people just can’t fathom the concept of what even happened to him.

It’s amazing to her that adults lack so much imagination and understanding of what can happen to people in this world. And that they don’t fathom the possibilities. And by possibilities I mean the actual parameters of what’s possible.

The lady on the plane may have just been having some sort of psychiatric episode. But from Lacey‘s experience of not being diagnosable as schizophrenic and experiencing a sort of hyper awareness of world events before they happen, some of which she shares, and so which she does not… and the way that it fits with everything that’s ever been said about the Illuminati that she wasn’t even aware of prior to her actual experience…she highly doubts a great many things nowadays. She suspects there probably is in Illuminati but she isn’t sure. What she doubts, however isn’t the so-called “narrative”…she’s always doubted that, she was raised to doubt that…what she increasingly doubts, unfortunately and tragically are facets of the American concept.

Facets of the American concept?! That sounds harmless! Except it isn’t. Not all of it. Obviously, there is a great many things about this country, about her country, that have been extraordinarily successful, remarkable feats of science, feats of humanity. But there are some things that just are not functional and it’s shocking and devastating to realize that at 40.

freedom is not a problem. The problem becomes not when you expect people to be responsible even…but unfortunately, in her opinion, at this point, when you expect everyone to be the same. All humans are humans and freedom works because of that to a point. And she believes there’s one God and therefore there’s one God and there’s one Satan and humans are all humans and that is a great foundation for a free society. …But the problem is humans are all so dramatically different. There’s right there’s wrong. Somethings are always wrong, but trying to create a free society that is stable for more than 200 years with cultures from all over the world and no one dominant culture that’s established and accepted as the dominant culture is the recipe for disaster.

Casi and Lacey are extraordinarily different people. And yet they’re both white they’re both American. They’re both geriatric Millennial/young Gen X. Lacey is a woman a cis woman, and she would think that Casi is probably a cis woman as well. And based on contemporary society that should be enough for them to be able to communicate. But it isn’t. And if there is an Illuminati Lacey and Dylan Mulvaney get along infinitely better as many differences as they have that really should be a problem according to contemporary society. Dylan is either a confused man or a straight woman. But they get along really well, seemingly.

“And some people would say Dylan is either her gay friend or they’re very similar women.” says a man.

“The thing is Lacey doesn’t trust Dylan and Dylan doesn’t trust Lacey and that is no problem for them. Possibly because neither of them expect that kind of trust, especially right off the bat, with almost anyone. They don’t see it as a threat to themselves, or necessarily a death sentence for a friendship to just carefully untangle everything slowly, we’ll say. And if there is an Illuminati and if Dylan actually is a woman, or God‘s gonna let her be, she really is beautiful. And Lacey talked to Dylan right before her surgery and after her surgery and Dylan has grown in empathy for Lacey after experiencing what it’s like to have a face that’s really pretty. It is brutal. People are far less forgiving! Sure, they’re more enamored by you, but they’re a lot less kind.

Lacey thinks of that weather woman who was from Detroit who had the eye surgery and killed herself. Lacey and Dylan to some degree too suspects it wasn’t just about the eyes. They think that she was tired of feeling attacked. And maybe was worried that if she had to be on heavy painkillers for the rest of her life and inebriated that her children would be better off without her. Because she faced so much scrutiny that she probably thought there’s no way that I could embarrass my children and I’m not even functional. But they really think it was more potentially about her not wanting to embarrass people specifically her kids. And she was in excruciating pain, but they suspect that what factored into her finally just pulling the trigger so to speak was the thought that she wasn’t going to be able to help her kids and be the mother to them that she needed to be because she wouldn’t be pretty anymore and people wouldn’t accept her and they think it has something to do with how beautiful she was. To put it to put it simply they think that her beauty is part of what killed her, not just the eye surgery.” says a dead woman.

“It’s shocking to people who aren’t like Dylan and Lacey to think that Lacey can be so accepting of Dylan in such an authentic way. Because Lacey is a conservative Christian, a wholly believing Christian, who preaches to the Illuminati about Hell literally almost at least once a week. And Dylan is trans. …But Dylan feels like Lacey talks to her like she’s another woman like for real talks to her like she’s another woman but not in some patronizing, fake way. And they both strongly identify with being a female. Lacey was born one, but she has argued against ever being a man in existence adamantly. And people are very threatened by that, especially when it comes to Lem. And Dylan believes that she’s a woman and Lacey empathizes that. But they both very strongly identify with being a woman. Lacey just is one and Dylan may be or may not be, but she feels that she is and it’s taking a lot of belief in that for her to do what she’s done with her life.

There are some people who are scared by it, especially if Lacey’s illegitimate. They’re worried that being trans is a thing and that Dylan really is a woman. And that we’ve evolved since Lacey’s genetically to where there are people who should be here and aren’t able to be. And Dylan is an example of someone who almost didn’t make it because gender really is that important. And that different. To Lacey, Dylan seems more rational and mature and grounded in reality than most women she’s ever met. Aside from women in the Greatest Generation.

Before the Queen died Lacey and Queen Elizabeth could talk very easily, because they thought so much alike, and it was extraordinarily comforting to both them. Well at least Lacey. But that wasn’t just Queen Elizabeth there are countless women in that generation who were like that. That was just how they were. Oh, and Dylan is more like that whether she’s a woman or not.

There are some psychics who have wondered if Dylan was actually in the Greatest Generation as a woman, and then just died, and came back as a man who is totally unattached to this life, and therefore is functioning you could say as her old self at this point.

The sad truth is if there is reincarnation in the Bible and Dylan was a woman if that’s even possible that all those things could be true… Dylan has taken Lacey‘s experience with men their age as a huge warning. It actually may have been easier to find a boyfriend as a gay man who is worth it in their generation. But Dylan just doesn’t feel like a guy so it doesn’t work. So whether Dylan is a guy who or is just a woman she isn’t awfully optimistic that she’ll find a man who will understand her for lack of a better word depth.” says an actress.

“I don’t think either of you realize how you come across to people and yet neither of you were bothered by each other at all.” says a Boomer man in the Illuminati.

“So if there’s been reincarnation is that why trans women get along with Lacey? Is it because you people had to get in touch with what some people would say is your higher self to be able to like survive and so you see through stuff and you’re like ‘I don’t get it either Lacey I’m on the same page as you.’ But then that that does beg the question: why are they not bothered by each other? I don’t think they even know what’s bothering us about any of them.” says a New Age woman.

“If Dylan is a woman or if I can perceive her that way…she’s a lot more genuinely sweet whether it’s genuine innocence or not we can’t see into her heart God can, but if she actually is that sweet that’s what it is. I’m sorry if this is hard for you to hear, but they really are actually nicer.

They process stuff that people today don’t process and then they categorize it. They label it. They organize it in their heads and react to it and move on. And you guys are still not even sure if it exists. I think if you went through the same thought processes that they’ve gone through you might see things their way and get along with them. That’s insulting and yet it’s not because it does actually beg the question: Why aren’t you processing what they’ve processed? Is it an inability on people’s parts nowadays to handle pain? Do people just have really low pain tolerance and women in the past experienced more emotional pain and it helped them grow as people? And they excepted it. They were just like, ‘Well there’s not much you can do about it. You just deal with it.’ And they were taught not to whimper, not to cry, not to get weak and we’ve we’ve demonized that because it seems cold to us and distant, but is it entirely bad to learn how to take care of yourself and not be so open and vulnerable? I think a little formality overall can sometimes actually be far more mature and functional than this super relaxed, totally transparent, open attitude that everyone is supposed to have nowadays.

And maybe that’s what it is that you don’t like about them is that they’re both totally impenetrable psychologically speaking so you can’t figure out either of them and yet they’re so cheerful and feminine and nice and they understand each other but what does that mean? It’s possible that women in the past used to be like them and it was just natural and then some women used to be like that, and they had to force themselves to be like that if they lived in a big city and they’d seen trauma, or if they were exceptionally intelligent or if they were queer or if they were any number things that would’ve been scary. But for them it’s like, ‘Yeah, no we can’t just be totally open books but we still wanna be ourselves and – at least Lacey does – and that’s the problem. What is so abrasive about someone who isn’t totally see-through?!?” says a trans activist.

“Dylan if you were a woman if there is reincarnation and it is in the Bible and you’re also trans that’s a lot for one person to deal with. But thankfully it seems like you’ve been loved. Let’s just say that when you were in your 50’s, if you couldn’t find someone would you would you have to resort dating ghosts? Or is that something that you even wonder about or not?” asks Wobbly.

“I’m not sure how that happened to Lacey, I’m not sure if it was a choice or if it really just happened to her. I think if it happened to me and I was a Christian and I was praying about it I would probably have a lot more insight into the situation based on talking with her. And if I had some reassurance that they were real and that it was functionally possible and sustainable and I was happy, and I really hadn’t found anyone alive and I was that lonely, I might. And that would be huge decision. And I would be sad that it had come to that not just for myself but for everyone else too because then if it feels like you’re transitioning ahead of time. And I don’t think anyone should have to do that that’s weird. And I can see where she thinks it’s not just her problem, but that it’s indicative of like something totally amiss…and it is.” says a woman. “No, of course if I end up being a man we people are going to discredit everything that I just said and that’s not actually fair. If it’s even possible…people need to learn to be a lot more discerning.”

More later.

Since we’ve last spoken, Lem and Lacey have been looking at rings, he has a ring in mind that he’d like her to wear until she dies, possibly taking it with her into the afterlife. but also, after researching the sad story of what’s been happening with Megan and Harry, Lacey discovered that Lem’s if he was straight, and even if he wasn’t, but especially if he was straight, has a personality, even a voice with some resemblance to Spotify executive, Bill Simmons. They’re not the same person. There are marked differences because they’re different people. But if you’re looking for someone with the same type of personality, and a somewhat similar voice at times, those two are quite similar. Of course they’re not the same person, but there is a similarity. Actually, I could say it’s a significant similarity. So what was Lim hiding behind his gay façade and his psychological acquiescence to that break with reality, if he was molested, when he was a teenager after experiencing losing his fortune in the Great Depression… it’s Bill Simmons. Lem is more artistic and mild mannered to a point and he’s more old-fashioned for lack of a better way to describe it. But no, Bill Simmons has an edge and Lem again, especially if he was straight, was hiding a very sharp edge.

Yeah I don’t think insisting that lame was gay is a smart thing to do. If I’m in the Illuminati I’ve met Bill Simmons, and he really isn’t someone to get into a fight with, truly. Just because Lem was ursine and asthmatic, and occasionally sounded effeminate to try to be gay doesn’t mean he wasn’t hiding some part of him that maybe was very cutthroat in a way that some people intuited in a particular Woody Allen film. I don’t think he wants to be called bisexual I think that’s offensive to him. Because I don’t think he necessarily was bisexual. I really think he may have genuinely been that confused and you have to remember this is almost 100 years ago. Seriously. But I don’t think he finds that as repulsive as someone insisting that he was gay. Probably especially because he literally said that he could have married someone and had a family. And I think he feels like people think they know him in his life better than he knew himself. He never came out of the closet. People have interpreted when he said that to mean that he was talking about people who lived in the closet he never came out of the closet. So I almost wonder if that’s not really entirely what he meant and he actually thought he could’ve had a wife and family for real like functionally he could have made it happen. And I don’t think he thought he’d ever have to explain that because again this was in the 70s or the 80s actually just the 70s probably but still this was a very long time ago. I don’t think he’d ever thought that he’d have to say, ‘I could get aroused by a woman.’ Because I think he assumed that people would just know that’s what he was intimating. I don’t think he thought it was important to point that out. Nowadays you’d have to because people would never assume that of a man. But they would have back then.

The thing is, if you ever listen to Bill Simmons, he has he has an edge. And if Lem really was straight, not even bisexual, but just straight. How pissed off he probably is at Lacey. I have a feeling he has empathy for her and he truly does care and she can handle his temper. She can handle it. She loves him unconditionally and he knows that. But I have a feeling when he actually is being affected in a romantic relationship because he’s having actual consensual relations with someone who can affect him in that way and it’s not just nonsense. He gets pretty pissed off if that person isn’t doing what he wants them to do.

Lem isn’t a cheater. But let’s just say he thought if you found women attractive, he did find them attractive, and the thought of Jack sleeping with women vicariously was possibly kind of fun to him. And that’s depressing to him now because at the time it was somewhat subconscious and he didn’t even realize how much he was enjoying it. But it was fun to think oh who is he with tonight because he didn’t think he could do it because it wasn’t the right thing to do and a part of him just wasn’t interested in sleeping with prostitutes because that’s just not who let his it’s depressing to him he really is that deep. But it’s not that he lacked the drive so to speak if he was straight. So the thought of Lacey being with someone else is extraordinarily aggravating in ways that actually aren’t hurtful to her, it’s hurtful to him. And he doesn’t want to hurt people, but he covers himself for saying at least I know exactly who it is and everyone else it’s just if she notices some guy on the street he’s not gonna hold a candle to Michael you know but really, he just wants her undivided attention.

And that’s the thing people don’t think of lemon being that harsh or cold, but that could be because he was never fully engaged in reality, and he was always trying to sort of appease the world. But he’s not you know Lacey doesn’t know Bill Simmons maybe he’s a nice man in person with people that he cares about the Lem really isn’t someone to get into a fight with.

What was interesting is that Diana has some sort of tension with Lem. And it’s not that they’re attracted to each other it’s more that for some reason Lacey has had the sense now for months, and it time does come out on this blog, that she has-there’s something about them that she doesn’t quite like. Or in her own words that she’s very cautious of. And Lacey has been thinking, ‘Umm…what in the world is it that she doesn’t like about Lem?’ But after seeing footage today of Bill Simmons, talking about Harry and Meghan, Lacey gets it. I think Diana thinks that Lem has been may be a bit too hard on Lacey.

Lacey almost wonders if that’s part of the reason Michael showed up last summer. Because it just felt like it was getting to be heartless. And she understood where Lem was coming from, but she also thought that he was being heartless. That is in to say that she is an angry herself and Harry for different reasons. But I think it’s possible she may have felt like Bill was a little too sharp with her son, even though she understood that he was angry I think she thought he was mean unnecessarily on too personal of a level.

You know you don’t have to throw someone totally into the ocean just because they need a bath. You can ball them out without sending them up a creek with no paddle. And I think it just got on her nerves and because if God has allowed Lacey to talk to the dead that she could at least talk to Lacey and intervene in some way there. Turns out maybe they’re together for eternity anyway. But he needed to know how seriously wrong he had been and he is still figuring it out.

But if you are reading this blog, and you have been vicious, be careful if it was some sort of dogged pursuit to reclaim Lem as gay. Because it may not be quite a certain as you think, or is safe to assume that Lem was truly gay. It’s one of those things where it seems like it would be a safe assumption, but it really might not be. And I would take red phase observation that Lem seemed neutral far more seriously. Because what what does that mean if he really was straight and he was molested and he had a horrible life and he had this perfect edge and a passionate need for a wife and Lacey wasn’t there and he died at 65 Never having had sex really his entire life. But putting out for men trying to please them trying to make them happy. Trying to seem like an approachable and yet sophisticated gay man. Thinking that after Jack died, there was no point to living. Because Lem really was in a romantic and some might call him a sap, but he really was a very romantic man. So is Lacey in a very similar way. And so be careful with your assumptions when it comes to Lem. Because he may have been an extraordinarily sexually frustrated man, who felt as though he made a total asshole of himself, his entire life, and then decided at 65 that he was just done. He didn’t see any more points in trying.” says an Englishman.

“Why did you do that to yourself though? Why didn’t you experiment or something?” asks an actress.

“I did experiment some. I made out with female people I didn’t have chemistry with because I thought I was supposed to go on dates because I had parents-well I had a mother who wanted me to date people and I went-I went on dates, heterosexual dates, because I was trying to be you know responsible with my life. Again, I had no chemistry with the people they weren’t really that attractive. They were just nice girls who were kind of pretty. And I was supposed to you know like their pedigree, essentially. I may have been just too honorable and shy to approach someone like Lacey. And to be really honest with you she’s not a typical person. She’s not loose, but she’s not uptight. And she is extremely honorable, but she’s not uptight. And that’s not something that most men probably understand about her because you wouldn’t see that coming, you’d think that she’d be uptight but she’s not. Except she’s so honorable that you never figure it out because she’s not sleeping with people. But if she had been there with me no, I would’ve loved her daring and her romantic passion. It may be exactly what I needed coupled with her honor, …but still someone who wants to go that deep, emotionally and intellectually, and spiritually with someone and who isn’t just trying to play by the rules to win the game- …I am not uptight, and I’m not shy, not reticent, but it’s something along those lines. And it isn’t what you guess based on the stories about me and Jack. But Lacey knew that about me and she wasn’t sure it’s possible I wasn’t always reticent but it’s also possible I just was a rather quiet reticent person in my own way and I wouldn’t have been with her but…umm…we’re not demisexual – I don’t-I’m not entirely sure there is such a thing, I think people today might just be idiots – but I think we we do need depth to even wanna bother.” says Lem.

“ you don’t lame if this really is you you’re not the most eloquent person. And that must be really frustrating because I have a feeling there’s an incredible amount of detail and just what you’re saying that gets lost and how you say it. But I’d like to point out as someone who actually may be connected to Mmes. in the Illuminati… you’re not looking for someone who’s just loose, we’ll say. and I’m sure you know that. What? What were you looking for? Because I don’t want to get it wrong. What were you looking for?” says a woman.

“ it’s possible I am putting you up to saying this you know I am dead and even if I was alive, I would never cheat on Lacey, just to say that. See that’s part of what happen with Jack I really am a one person person. And I felt devastated when he died because I felt as though the one thing I could do with my life taking care of someone who through my dysfunction I was with… died. I was losing my ability to have any meeting of any depth for the rest of my life. Because I’m very good at taking care of people even though I have not been as good at taking care of Lacey as I thought I would be. It’s possible that in the areas where I was wrong I’m having to seriously humble myself and recalibrate and realize that I was even more off than I thought I was. I want someone who’s perfect essentially. But perfect for me and ideally not perfect for anyone else. But if there is reincarnation in the Bible, and they’re very well, might not be, but if there is or even if it’s a good analogy, I lost that privilege, potentially given the way that I live my life. And no it’s not just me it’s Michael Rockefeller and Louis and Harold Loeb and Elliott Roosevelt, kind of in the past, and Joe Kennedy Junior. And for a while it was Joe Senior, too. And Lacey thinks it’s hilarious to a point and I I find, I find humor in it but it’s not pleasant. I don’t think you realize how much gay men make themselves look gay. And it’s funny because if there is such a thing as being gay, whatever it is it, it really is just there. Lacey doesn’t think it’s a choice and I’m not going to say either way, but if it’s not a choice on a certain level, they’re not putting it on even if they’re mannerism sometimes are not 100% inborn we’ll say because you can mimic their mannerisms to a point. But Lacey can tell when someone’s gay there’s just a way about them and I can kind of tell too at this point, but there’s away about people it’s not just the way they look in their eyes or the way they move their hands or the way they walk it’s there’s something in their spirit it’s it’s their mind or something it’s not so it’s not just an act.

But she said men who are probably bisexual act very gay, and then, when they became attracted to her, drop the actions of the lower their voice and seem straight. She’s had supposed gay men say sexual things to her who are clearly not gay then because Lacey really is a woman. Truly, she’s only had a vagina her entire life and you would never doubt that if you met her in person less if you were insane. … and no one can figure it out because no one cares about her enough or is honest enough to truly figure out what’s going on. Because I want to find some angle some way to be insulting or hurtful to her instead of the opposite or whatever it would be that’s actually happening. What’s interesting to note is that F Scott Fitzgerald, who may really have been straight, had a similar affect on bisexual women. They found him incredibly attractive, and he used to think that maybe he thought like a woman, even though he knew he was a man, and he adamantly insisted that he was straight. And he probably was. So was Harold. But umm…what really is unique about both of them is their intelligence.. And and neither of them have the heart to say that about themselves, but they actually probably just are both unusually emotionally, intelligent people. So bisexual people Phyl, so they can have a real conversation with just just them you know there’s no gender wall in conversations with Scott Lacey because they can see beyond the walls and for someone like Zelda, who may have been somewhat bisexual it was he was the only person she could really talk to in that way. Because he could see the male perspective the female perspective to an extent, possibly so well that it was intoxicating because I don’t know I’m not a bisexual necessarily, but it was intoxicated her. Apparently you should ask her if you can if you can’t, don’t actually I don’t think any of you probably should. …No, I’m not necessarily eloquent. If I really work at it, I can be, but I’m not like Lacey. I can’t just rattle things off the top of my head and this extraordinary precise way. And of course, Lacey and Scott both edit like crazy but they they’re still fairly close to what they’re exactly trying to say right from the beginning.

The thing is all that to say I was looking for someone perfect. And I could’ve married someone far less perfect and then I would’ve left her for Lacey after I died. But when you’re someone like me, who is rather unusual in the way that I think you really want someone who” he pauses. “is yours. And she knows what that means and I know what that means and you should too. It’s sad if you don’t. I may have been straight and clumsy with my words hand. Yeah, I really very sensitive I’m just maybe not as sweet as people think I am.” says Lem.

“Lem, what is that like when Lacey is talking to a man who you know is attracted to her and she might not know? What is that like being dead?” asks a woman.

“Sometimes I wanna laugh. Sometimes I have to stifle a laugh. It’s very tempting to try to make her laugh and be awkward to turn him off but then I realize that that would be mean and I don’t do it. I love Lacey though and I I have a pretty good sense at this point of where she’s had it and I am I don’t I don’t know if you’re too much but sometimes I do have to bite my tongue and she can sense that, and it feels very awkward to her. It’s one of the reasons why I am struggling with the ring because I may have been trying to get one for her for a while and it’s been thwarted because it really meant something to both of us.” says Lem.

“ Bill Simmons, Lim that’s interesting people really do struggle with that because it goes along with everything and it is creepy because it does make sense and it does seem like you’re straight then to be honest. And I think we have a very hard time believing that the woman on the plane saw some thing we have a hard time believing that the people at the bottom of the ocean aren’t still gonna be rescued. I think 9/11 still seems shocking. Because it’s just not stuff that we’re prepared for. And yet if you really were straight and your personality really is that similar to Bill Simmons you’re not an asshole but I wouldn’t say you’re quite as much of a nice guy as they’ve made you out to be you’re right. I bet you’re extraordinarily sensitive and kind. But my gut sense is that you got pushed way too far. I mean way way way way too far. And I highly doubt that Jack has a friend and you anymore at all. I don’t think Lacey knows that I think Lacey thinks that you probably still care because that’s what she’s capable of. I don’t think you’re capable of that if I have you correct my head, is that right?” asks a man.

“I’m not a mean man. I, however, I’m not so much a mess around with. I might not seem like that, but no past a certain point I am extremely nasty. And Lacey is never really that nasty. She can be very harsh but she’s not really a nasty person. I am yes hi I am not interested in any of them anymore. I can’t stand them. I don’t hate them in an evil way if I do, I’m working with God on it in purgatory or something like that. Because I don’t like them anymore at all, I can’t stand them I really can’t. And no, Lacey is always tenderhearted a little bit and no I’m not like that. You don’t want to piss me off trust me. It’s truly possible that I really just threw them all to hell and that’s why I let those kids use drugs and even encouraged it because I how do I call myself vicious but I may have slightly lost my marbles and thought that my version of survival of the fittest was to encourage them to destroy themselves before they do any more harm to anyone else. Whereas Lacey’s approach is don’t keep associating. Tell him to go to hell in a loving way, threaten to kill them if they don’t leave you alone, literally, and then leave the country. And sometime I’ll have to try to explain my perspective to her. Because that’s one of our biggest differences, she thinks that I am lying because I kept associating with them. She really has no qualms about putting someone’s life if they’re threatening hearse Julie, and she really could easily kill someone if they were trying to kill her very easily. If you are threatening her life, now, she pull the trigger straight to the head straight to the heart new messing around.

Unless if you know, she thought you needed to go to a psych ward and then she might shoot you in the leg very carefully or in both of your knees because that’s who she is. And she is doing that in a sense to be loving and honorable it’s like you’re gonna threaten my life and you’re serious? Well if I had a moment I’d read your last rights and then there you go. She’s not a coldhearted killer, but you don’t mess with her either but it’s in an entirely different way. When you don’t mess with me, it’ll hurt more emotionally. And it might be just as deadly but I am a lot more vicious, emotionally speaking. Lacey keeps trying to save people for heaven and I draw the line because someone has to and yet at times I know she’s right, but someone does have to draw the line and I’m the one that does it. It sounds very Catholic him and you know what if there’s some sort of purgatory it’s not Catholic it’s Christian, but there could be elements of Catholicism that are correct even if Mary isn’t the way that they see her and I’ll let you figure that out as a Christian.” says Lem.

“Do you think we’re grifters?” asks a man.

Lem tries not to cry. “I think you are trying to make your life functional. And I think it’s possible that you did not anticipate how extraordinarily expensive life really is.”

“Even if I was worth $100 million in today’s money will say, net. I still would never have purchased a home that expensive. I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear.” says Tom Banks. “There are homes worth half of what you paid in less exclusive neighborhoods that would be far more conducive to a functional lifestyle of luxury.”

“Lem, did you live your life essentially as a bisexual man who was choosing to be gay, even if you actually were straight?” asks a woman.

“Yes, in a way I did even if I was straight and I very well might’ve been straight but no, umm…because I thought I was gay I was living that and then at the same time I had attraction to women and no that’s bisexuality even if I wasn’t attracted to men at all.” says Lem.

“I lived that perspective, even if I wasn’t experiencing it, which means that I didn’t fully experience up, of course but a part of it I might have some insight into.” says Lem.

“Tom are you worried about Harry and Megan?” asks someone.

“Yes, I know what kind of people there are and I I worry that they weren’t entirely prepared for the harshness of this country.” says Tom.

“It is, it’s very harsh. It feels more harsh than it did a while ago.” says a woman.

“England is impossible because of God. But that’s the thing it’s impossible because of God.” says a dead woman.

More later.