“Really?” by Red Fay

(Adult content below)

I snicker.

I snicker more.

….

Hey. What if…Lem was secretly straight?

And what if this woman…

Yes. Those are her real cheekbones…came on to him?

Or what if he got really drunk and came on to her?

Do you really think he’d have not slept with her? No. Get real. He would have.

His sexual rage…is visceral when you first compare these photos. At first it’s like, “Oh! He’s a dorky gay man. …But then you look longer and you start to really sense his energy and he seems angry at her. And then you realize…if you’re an adult that he would have been attracted to her.

You can’t imagine Lacey sleeping as easily with JFK. Can you? No.

I can again easily imagine who does look slightly gay here…even he also doesn’t…sleeping with Lacey. Jack seems like he’d try to collect rocks with her and eat tomato soup.

I’m laughing.

The thing is…Lem always looked straight to me at first glance. But then I’d notice his gay mannerisms. And by the way he did control his facial muscles to look gay here. That’s not his natural expression. But the rest of his body looks straight too because he’s so focused on his face. It could read as gay…but he isn’t and so his body just doesn’t look gay. Not really.

Anyway…I got confused by him. And that’s part of the reason I called him neutral. He seemed a strange mixture of heterosexuality and gay. …And I couldn’t tell if he was…bisexual or what. …Turns out he was straight. But…I wouldn’t have thought of that. Because it is rather unusual for a straight man to be that messed-up. But he was! Dear God help us he was…

And yet…

What if we play along?

(Adult content below)

“Hey!” says Lacey. She’s dressed in this:

And she’s Lem’s personal secretary? And she’s…sad. And lonely. And drunk from lunch so she unbuttons her blouse and seductively tries to tempt him.

And then what? He recoils in disgust! Doubtful.

What does he say?

He laughs.

“Lacey! Look…sweetie…” he says smiling.

Does he push her away? No. Be honest. You can’t truly imagine that happening. And it wouldn’t have happened.

But she kisses him. And she’s a good kisser. Men have told her that.

What does he do?

He pushes her away? No. He decides to experiment. And does he enjoy it? Yes. He loses himself and they start having passionate sex. On his desk. A bit like how the characters in Mad Men imagined it with Layne Price and Joan. Except hotter and Lacey is smaller and Lem’s losing his mind in desire.

Yup. Lem’s losing his mind in desire. He’s totally out of control. His gay voice of course disappears. Was it ever real?

…But wait! Wait! You want him to get on a shuttle and stop fucking Lacey and getting off…and go suck Jack Kennedy’s cock? Yeah? Because Lem is gay!? Yeah? And…even though he’s busy…we’ll go knock on the door.

We knock.

We knock again.

Sounds of moaning and moving furniture can be heard.

We knock again.

We knock again.

We try one last time.

Still no luck.

Oh well. Too bad Lacey showed-up. If she hadn’t maybe we could have preyed on Lem’s inherent good nature and coerced him into a bigamous, probably unfulfilling, entirely subservient, slave-like, humiliating, possibly one-sided, monotonous, exhausting, patronizing, possibly faux-gay relationship. Because by all accounts that’s what it was. Regardless of his orientation. Truly. He looks…weak and only explanation is to assume with determination and suspended belief that he was just madly in love with Jack.

No. It’s ludicrous.

Just because people commented on his supposed love for Jack and how Jack loved his love doesn’t necessarily make evidence for that love being real. People read Jack as the dominant narcissistic personality and didn’t mean Lem for sure was in love. He might have fawned over Jack out of fear. Matter-of-fact I bet he did. Just because Lem was sweet, gentle, good-humored and smiling doesn’t mean he was in love or even happy. He easily could have just been placating Jack and it fooled people. He may have placated Bobby the same way while encouraging his heroin addiction. An addiction in a young man who was close to dying from it. Maybe Lem was…not…who he seemed to be. Huh?

Actually a fawning response might look appealing to some…but it’s generally not a good sign. Jack didn’t know better, I guess.

And see…that’s where I get pissed-off.

Yes. I loved Jack Kennedy. I did. But…he’s not Lacey. She’s not him.

And…if Lacey had been there…and she was in Jack’s shoes…she’d have given up everything even as a man…to be with Lem. They’d have run off together. And that’s the last you’d of heard of them. Kennedy legacy be damned if necessary.

Of course Lem wasn’t necessarily gay. So…he might not have even noticed that Jack who didn’t and doesn’t exist. Maybe they’d have been friends. But…she’d never have instigated anything. And…he wouldn’t have either. Actually…she might have sacrificially interrogated him and wondered if he was straight out of concern for him.

No. Lacey’s a very different person than Jack.

And if you wondering who I was? Well…imagine a bisexual…Spencer Tracy version of Marty Crane from Fraiser.