Videotape by Radiohead plays.
(Adult content below)
Videotape by Radiohead plays as Lem lays on top of Lacey. Their bodies move in unison like waves in the ocean as directed by Lem. Him inside her. Naked.
“Lem doesn’t have Lacey’s ass.” objectively says a dead band member from Frightened Rabbit. “Gay men are such prudes. You can’t imagine Lem having straight sex because it’s too dirty?”
“It’s…extremely dirty.” says Stanley Kubrick.
“Umm. So.” says a living gay man.
“Yeah. But you all secretly still think he’s gay!” says Joe Kennedy Junior in absolute exasperation.
“Yah.” says a gay man who is the same type of gay man as JFK.
Song 2 by Blur plays as Lacey loses herself in battle. And in sex if Lem loves her. And you’re not going to understand in 2024. Because she’s not a dude. At all. Or a tramp. Or a “happy woman.” Or a bitch. If you’re not truly like her you’re not so no you don’t relate. No you don’t understand. You’re clueless. You’re weak and powerless and stupid. We all are at times. Get a grip!
“But I need her!!” shriek all living people.
“You’re not all her kids.” says God.
“We’ll cease to exist if we can’t feast off her soul!!” yell billions of living, evil, brainwashed people as the parasites they’ve sadly become either in reality or merely in their brainwashed minds.
“Where are your souls?” asks a Heavenly angel.
They look terrified.
“You had them at birth!” yells Louis Hill Junior.
A few of them stop and think. Cognizant for a moment that they exist. They stare at their arms in shock.
“So. You all created our narcissism. How stupid!” says Dr. Moritz. “YOU DUMBASSES!” he yells at the Illuminati in a German accent.
“Maybe. But some of the current Illuminati is in the dark about what the old Illuminati did to us. That’s how bad things are.” says a Black rapper.
“Umm…how is Lem gay? Let’s hear your logic?” asks China of gay men.
“We’re HOT!!” millions of them yell like egotistical, idiotic men.
“So you reason you’re all too hot…for Lem not to be gay?” asks the CIA.
“DUH!!!” they hell.
“Hmm. Well…that’s interesting. Clearly it’s stupid as Hell. But…what factual evidence do you have other than your collective belief that you’re all SO HOT?” the CIA asks gay men.
“I’m not sure Lem was gay!!” yells Anderson Cooper desperately.
“Yeah. I’m not sure either.” says the guy with glasses from Bronski Beats.
“He wasn’t!” says Geoffrey Hughes.
Princess Kate laughs. “Huh. Well.” she says shrugging.
“Who are all these…silly gay men!?” says Anderson Cooper suggestively to Lacey.
She fights not to cry.
“What the fuck!?” yells Joe Kennedy Junior at Anderson Cooper. “How do you affect her that way?”
He laughs. Thinks. “You know…you’re something else!” Anderson Cooper slights Joe by saying.
“He’s right.” says Geoffrey Hughes.
“What exactly do you think we’re doing Joe? The rest of the world.” asks Clive Swift.
“Joe! You’re an asshole! Take the hint!!” yells a woman from Massachusetts.
Alone in Kyoto by Air plays.
“How do you imagine Lem was gay!?” asks God.
“If he’s sleeping with Lacey?” asks Anderson Cooper, laughing.
“Or is.” says God.
Anderson Cooper nods. Laughs. “Well! Yeah.
On their behalf I think the only logical possibility is that they don’t understand the mechanics of sex.”
“But they’re too embarrassed as men to admit that.” says Lacey.
Anderson Cooper smiles at her.
“Wow! They lie.” says Lacey.
“Yeah!” says Anderson.
“It’s hurtful.” says Lacey.
Anderson smiles and nods. “Yeah. In my own way…I hear you.”
“What the Hell!?!” yells a reader.
Anderson Cooper laughs and then looks sad.
“You all genuinely think differently.” says Casi to real old money America.
“Yes!!” yells Louis Hill Junior. “It’s very isolating. At times.”
“What the Hell don’t you all understand!?” Casi asks living gay men who aren’t Vanderbilts or foreign enough.
High and Dry by Radiohead plays.
“Why do you not get it!?” says Casi to the gay men.
“Umm. So…hmm. Couldn’t he get a false erection?” asks one of “the living gay men.”
Casi laughs. Looks stunned. “Ahh. From what!!?”
“From looking at her boobs?” says a man from “the living gay men.”
“How!? Are you suggesting he was brainwashed?” asks Casi.
“That didn’t happen. He wasn’t a severely molested child.” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“That you know of!” says Casi, getting angry. “But ahh…that’s not what’s being presented anyway. She’s not coming on to him. And he’s…organically erecting in his own mind and being.”
“Huh. Okay. Ahh…from her boobs.” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Yup!” says Casi.
“Then maybe he’s not gay?” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Yeah!! …Because how else does he get an erection?” says Casi.
“He…has…a disease?” says a crying man from “the living gay men.”
“Are you serious!?” asks Anderson Cooper.
“Yeah. It’s a really difficult idea to let go of.” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Why can’t you think for yourself?” Donald Trump Junior asks “the living gay men.”
“They’re commodified. For monetary and voting purposes.” says the DNC.
“Psychologically!?” says Donald Trump Senior.
“Yup!” says the CIA.
“Oh my God! …So it’s genuinely hard for us to think for ourselves?” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Unless you’re old money. We seem to be safer. …I’m sorry.” says Anderson Cooper.
High Road by Cults plays.
A billion balloons float into the air over Minnesota. Every five seconds. Thanks to Louis.
Last year when Lacey was up there he looked around with Harold and found it.
They used Lacey.
“See! So they had to protect us.” says Anderson Cooper.
“You guys are spiritually…too dangerous to mess with.” says a reader.
“For most people. Yeah.” says Kathy Griffin.
“Lacey always knew you weren’t straight.” says a reader to Anderson Cooper.
“Yeah! I think she likes me as a person though.” says Anderson Cooper.
“As far as I know him. He’s lovely!” says Lacey.
“Yeah. It’s bad.” says Tsar Putin. “But we’ll pray.” He says, grimly.
“I was part of the search crew too. So was Lem.” says Michael Rockefeller.
“How long was she there?” asks the CIA.
“A month?” says Lem.
“Or more.” says Elliott.
“Yeah. See. Stuff like that is why I get so damn fascinated by the Illuminati.” says a Lurcat eater.
“It is fun.” says Lacey.
“Yes! Yes!! She’s that person. The woman from Indiana Jones. Except straight.” says Elliott Roosevelt. “And so dainty.”
“Umm.
Jack and Jackie definitely imitated her. Both. And it sucks shit because it’s not the same…and it just looks embarrassing for them.” says a gay man, sadly and in anger too. “Even if there’s not reincarnation.”
“I love what they aesthetically did. But it’s not me.” says Lacey.
“Yeah. I didn’t even realize it.” says Lem.
“Why!?? How!?” asks a gay man.
“So. You’re evil and lying and brainwashed?” Lacey asks “the living gay men.”
“Yep. To varying degrees and in various combinations.” says a gay reader.
“Because it’s so different than her. …And if I’m not gay…I fit the straight man stereotype. I love her and notice her…but…the aesthetic side of her personage…in a big picture context…that can be imitated…isn’t my point of noteworthy intelligence.” says Lem.
“But you knew her boobs looked like Marilyn’s?” asks Sir Elton John.
“Yeah!” says Lem.
“Lem…why did you get buff?” asks a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Rowing!” says Lem.
“Okay. But for whom!?” asks another gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Women, actually.” says Lem.
“Yeah. That’s why we asked.” says a man from “the living gay men.”
“I’m going to have to throw you off. You’re controlling too much of my brain.” says Lacey to “the living gay men.”
“Yeah.” says Bill Gates.
“SHIT!!!! YOU’RE TOAST!!!” Joe Kennedy Junior yells at them in horror.
“They still can pray to God!” says Lacey.
“I’m sorry we’re so…insistent.” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“Why!?” asks Lacey, sadly.
“Yeah. It’s illogical.” he says.
“It makes me sad!” says Lacey.
“We’ll be okay!” says a gay man from “the living gay men.”
“I’ll pray for you.” Lacey says sadly.
“SHIT!!!” yells Ted Kennedy.
“Perhaps we’ve gone too far.” says a herd of demons led by Joe Kennedy Junior and some technology and a group of hateful and yet brilliant dead and living men.
Keen to Cross the Pond 