Perverse French People

Ms. Jackson by OutKast plays.

Jack Kennedy shakes his ass in 1935. He feels…evil. Why!? Because he just shook his ass. He just shook his ass…in a “fag way.”

He covers his mouth and giggles to himself. WOW!!! WwwWoOWw!

He bad!!!

Much like the dumbass Republican response given by try annoying woman from Alabama last night…he is actually PATHETIC. A loser. A dumbass jackass favored by the blind?

Could that woman have been more obnoxious? No?

“I agree. She was a ditz.” says Governor Barnett of Mississippi.

“Was it Miss America following the…address from the sad old man?” asks Lacey.

“Hm. No. It says it was Senator Katie Britt.” says a dead 1700’s French aristocrat.

“Oh! A Senator? No! She’s not a Senator!?” says Lacey.

“No. She’s a Senator.” says the dead 1700’s French aristocrat.

(Adult content below)

“Do you want a snake?” asks another dead French aristocrat to Lacey.

“Oh! That might kill me.” says Lacey.

“Will it?” says Marie Antoinette suggestively.

“It would have.” says Lacey.

She stares at Lacey. Looks stunned.

“You think I’m an idiot.” Marie Antoinette says to Lacey. “I’m not.”

Lacey thinks. “Sorry?”

“Dammit.

Where are you taking us?” asks Marie Antoinette.

“To the forest. For light blue paint.” says Lacey.

“Oh.” she says. “That’s depressing.”

“What the fuck else…is there…if there isn’t love or children?” says Lacey.

“I agree!!” says an Italian. “Light blue.”

After examining it, “Oh okay.” says Marie Antoinette. “Hmm. Well. The berries?”

“Or wildflowers?” says Lacey.

“Yes! Forget-me-nots.” says Marie Antoinette.

“Or whatever in the woods you could use to make good blue paint.” says Lacey.

“Yes. Blue.” says Marie Antoinette.

“Yes. A clear blue.” says Lacey. “Wasn’t that a concern?”

She thinks. Cries. Cries over Lacey’s life. For some reason Lacey speaks to her humanity and makes her weep more than most humans to ever live. She shakes in tears. She has to be escorted away.

Say It Right plays for Senator Katie Britt and Erin Gloria Ryan. Why? Because they’re obnoxious to watch in the exact same way. What are even really feeling? It’s impossible to know without deep focused analysis. If you could hairspray a public personality they’d have Guinness World Record helmet hair public personalities. …But…Lacey’s pretty sure they’d defiantly and vehemently claim “not to care” what we think in response to any criticism.

Crazy In Love by Beyoncé plays.

“No snakes.” says the French man to Lacey.

“That’s not even a thing!” says Lacey.

“No! It really was once.” says another dead French man.

“I’d never defile a snake that way.” says Lacey, coolly.

And at that a crowd of gay men walk in anxious and peasant-like. They believe they bad-ass “like Beyoncé.” Or some evil French aristocrat from the 1700’s. They all shake their asses in unison. Ghislaine Maxwell in a moment of extreme empathy and compassion for them cheers them on and starts trying to dance with them so the dead French aristocrats take them more seriously as humans.

“My goodness. They dance!” says a dead French aristocrat from the 1700’s.

“Yes. Aren’t they sad?” says Lacey.

“Yes! Why do they think they’re us?!?” asks a dead French aristocrat from the 1700’s, sincerely confused.

“Oh honey!” says a gay man to Lacey with dripping authority, and god-like condescension for the umpteenth time.

“Gay men are snobby!” says a living woman in her 60’s. “I’ve always thought that.”

“Yes! People thought I was prissy. But that was just my way of acting gay. As a straight person.” says Lem. “I’m not really that prissy.” He thinks. “That’s me acting like Lacey but as a man.”

“Dammit! Our only shock value and power comes from being wrongfully rejected.” say millions of gay men who suddenly realize this, which is a depressing thing considering how obvious it is and how stupid, embarrassingly backward and grossly egotistical that might mean they actually then are.

Toxic Pony plays as gay men kiss each other and Sam Smith walks in heels to shock us.

“Wow!! Damn!!” patronizingly says a dead French aristocrat with Lacey. He agrees with her.

“How do they do it?!?” says Lacey.

“He puts the heels on. And walks.” says Marie Antoinette.

“Oh no! He’s shaking his ass like he’s a hot chubby woman.” says Lacey.

“A sexy Latina!” says Marie Antoinette.

“Yes!!! A LATINA!” says Lacey.

“DAMN!!” says the French man, laughing.

“Wait!! …I think he’s covertly-“ Lacey thinks. “Soul-blowing.”

“Oh!! Soul-blowing all sexy chubby women.” says Marie Antoinette.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “But he’s too narcissistic and dumb and backward to realize it.”

“Yes. He still thinks his psychopathic profound jealousy and hatred for almost all women is woke.” says Marie Antoinette.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“It’s because he’s gay!” says the dead 18th Century French aristocrat.

“Yes. He thinks that absolves him of any wrongdoing in any way for his whole life.” says Lacey.

“Yes. Clearly. Poor sod.” says the dead French 1700’s man.

“What a fat man. What a sad incel man.” says Lacey.

“Yes. He is an incel.” says another dead 1700’s French woman.

“He’s a fat, white, nerdy incel.” says Lacey.

“Oh! But he doesn’t know that. Because he’s gay!” says Marie Antoinette.

“And neither does anyone else.” says Lacey.

“No.” says Marie Antoinette.

“I hope he’s not friends with Adele. Do they molest children to be cool?” says Lacey.

“He soul-blows her.” says another dead man.

“She’s who he loathes out of jealousy. But he’s too stupid and she’s too spoiled and sheltered and vain to realize that.” says Lacey.

“Yes!” says a dead 1700’s French aristocrat.

Butterfly plays for Sam Smith on behalf of the straight men who make fun of women like him. They laugh.

“No. He’s just a trashy slut. Kinda. …But really. He gets ‘jelly’ of everyone because he’s just a self-important bitch. He’d…give anything for a diamond ring from Kay Jewelers…and a date at Pottery Barn.” says a straight man laughing at his lack of self-awareness.

Milkshake by Kelis plays for him next.

“Yummy!” says a straight man mocking Sam Smith as he “drops it like it’s hot.”

“No. Someone somewhere thinks he’s yummy! Aww!” says a living woman somewhere.

“Yeah! A Holocaust for all women on behalf of jackass gay men!!!!!” says Lacey clapping in excitement.

Milkshake (Radio Mix) by Kelis plays.

“Why…would women assume gay men are safe?” asks Lem. “They aren’t.”

“I know.” says Lacey. “It’s trash.”

“I don’t think I entirely knew that.” says Lem.

“How?” asks Lacey.

And at that Lacey torturers the Cecil. She cuts the hotel itself up into pieces. If it deserves it.

“So you’re anticipating gay men…will genuinely want to kill all women?” asks a feminist.

“Yes! Because Lem’s not gay! And it makes them pissy.” says Lacey. “Shake that ass Sam!” yells Lacey.

Marie Antoinette laughs at Sam Smith.

“He’s such a fool?” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“Hi!” says Pat Robertson.

“Okay. But…hmm.” says the dead 1700’s French aristocrat.

And no. Gay men are all currently losing their minds over Lem not being gay. Genuinely. They’re going insane. It’s…amazing. They have no control over it all if they’re at all evil or if homosexuality isn’t allowed in Heaven. Truly. If homosexuality isn’t allowed in Heaven it could be the end of the world…because if they’re just deformed or insane they have no control over their own brains in that way. “Lemmers” is part of their intense, impossibly entrenched psychosis. Because they saw him. Over and over and over again in far too many subliminal messages at this point. They can’t fly the flag without thinking of him subconsciously or referencing him spiritually. They’re far too much of mentally-ill evil cult…to get rid of him now. They’re stuck with him and they’re all toast.

“Thanks for explaining why America was only joking. In 1776.” says George III. “Don’t worry. Nothing will change.”

“I named my magazine after him!” says JFK Jr.

“Why!??” shrieks JFK.

“Because I was thinking of Lacey, because daddy is Lacey isn’t he!?!” says JFK Jr. as a three year old.

“No, your father certainly is not me.” says Lacey.

“What the Hell!? No…that’s not what happens when you defile a man! I just suck my ass than he was in love with me. I don’t understand! If I’m not a bad-ass and evil like the French aristocrats…and why did something so bad happen!?” says JFK, in an injured whiny voice.

“Jack I think you might’ve just been profoundly evil and stupid because somehow I don’t think that a homosexual consensual normal gay marriage between two men who aren’t narcissistic would probably have done any damage in the way that you did it…at all.” says Anderson Cooper.

“Oh my god, so then all gay men aren’t just sodomizing each other necessarily?” says JFK.

“No not necessarily. It might still be sodomy and might not be allowed in Heaven…but theoretically if it was and it’s just a mutation not evil degeneracy and still might not be allowed in Heaven or be God’s ideal, let’s say it’s a little more complicated maybe. And part of the problem Jack is that you assumed all homosexuality was this profound evil, that it may or may not be.” says Lacey.

“Oh my god that’s not true! I’m incredibly evil! I’m incredibly evil!” whines Sam Smith sincerely, breaking down.

In Da Club by 50 Cent plays for Sam Smith on behalf of his crowd of gay fans who see him like “an Ashley.” Which is all he is. If homosexuality is allowed in Heaven…or possibly to some degree if it’s just a mutation and not God’s ideal.

The Way You Move by Outkast plays for Sam Smith as he shakes his ass.

“You go girl!” says a Vanessa from the 1990’s.

Sam Smith smiles, confident and unaware. He believes he’s the “prettiest girl in the world” for a moment in a trance of egotistical stupidity and happiness.

“Sam. That’s all you are. You’re just that silly bitch Ashley. …Why…do you think you so damn special?” asks a feminist.

“Because I have COCK!!!” he yells sincerely.

“That’s all?” asks the feminist.

“Yeah!!!!” he says in absolute glee. Because that’s really all it is.

He flails his genitalia around in the air for Scotia. She eyes it. Analyzes it.

Scotia sighs.

“What the fuck is so special about a cock?” asks Lacey.

“Nothing.” says Satan.

“Yeah. It’s a disadvantage. As far a genitalia go. It’s a weakness. But a pathetic weakness. Because they’re men. So they’re the ugliest humans alive. And some can handle and some can’t.

Most overcompensate.

But regardless, they are all touchy about it. And so they attack women in covert ways and children. And each other. And they molest children like Lem out of profound jealousy. There’s a reason we’ve killed them throughout history so much. Duh!

Americans really are often historically profoundly stupid, oftentimes.

Which is why almost all gay men, regardless, are so psychotically attached to Lem. Because they need him to seem less icky. Without him they look like gay men. Just…gay men. Just…a bunch of actual gay men. So…they wickedly use and control men like Lem…as rare as they are…and him on a whole other level of evil. Because they don’t wanna really look like actual gay men.” says Prince Philip.

“It’s possible.” says Philip Seymour Hoffman.

“How boring.” says Lacey. “How’s the Holocaust going?” asks Lacey.

“There’s a 60% chance.” says the dead Frenchman from the 1700’s.

“How fun! Then all women and children will die!! And living men can all fuck each other.” says Lacey.