Perverse French People II

It’s 2030 and all women and children are dead. Literally.

No lesbians. No bisexual women. Trans women are 50/50. Some decided to die and some did not. The living ones are questionably female, completely, to be honest.

No evil women. No young men under 21.

Save Your Tears by The Weekend plays for Sam Smith and Jack Kennedy. And if Lem wants to he can join them for eternity.

“Have fun!!” says Lacey, smiling from paradise finally drinking a pina colada on a tropical beach in peace.

“Is Lem there?” asks Sam Smith.

“FUCK YOU!!” yells Lacey.

“Is Lem there!?” asks Jack.

“FUCK YOU!!!” yells Lacey.

“So she genuinely has no idea.” says Sam Smith.

“She’s clearly indicated that. You idiots.” says a dead French aristocrat.

“And she’s cis and straight and not Jack and never has been?” asks a dead woman, also chilling. She’s in her own Pilates class. With some pretty scent of lemons. In a mansion. With perfect sunlight. On a California coastline. She’s incredibly happy and is trying to help the “living men.”

“I guess?” says Sam Smith in a lipgloss on lip-injections-lip voice.

“Mm. So she is?” says the dead woman.

Later.

“Yes.” says Sam Smith.

“Mmkay.” says the dead woman.

JUMPIN by Pitbull & Lil Jon plays.

“What you want?” asks the dead woman.

“Ahh…come back?” asks a living man.

“No! You can’t raise me from the dead.” she says.

“I’ll come back!” says a group of gay men.

So the walking dead are a group of…500 dead gay men.

OMG by Usher plays as the world is comprised only of men in 2030.

“We don’t have any women.” says a bisexual man in his 50’s.

“Nope!” says hateful gay man clapping his hands in glee.

“Is Lem here?” asks King William. King Charles III killed his entire family and Queen Camilla and then shot himself. So who is King William? A Prince William impersonator.

There is no Great Britain in this scenario. It chose to cease to exist in 2028.

Whatta Man by Salt-N-Peppa plays.

“Umm. Yeah!!!” says Sam Smith. He laughs.

Jack claps in glee.

“I’m so glad we don’t have to wear skincare, dresses and heels like women. I’m so glad that when we do it it’s cute. And ironic.” says Sam Smith.

“Yes!! Amen!” says Diego Blue.

They’re standing around eating brie on crackers. Sipping champagne.

Let It Rock by Kevin Rudolph plays.

All living Charismatic men are surprised to be alive. But they’re celebrating. Because they for sure thought they were going to be sad. But turns out they’re fine? It’s only women who are dead! And children.

A few men…losing their minds…start pissing on the floor of a church sanctuary. They just pull out their penises and start peeing.

A group of dead lesbians laugh at them to the sound of Big Energy by Latto.

No children are alive.

“So! What do you think dead women are all doing?” asks a dead elder Boomer, laughing at them.

Chris Hayes laughs. Men pat him on the back.

Sugar by Robin Schulz plays.

And at that all female animals die.

Jack thinks it’s hilarious. He laughs. Smiles. Sincerely. That seems to be his level of awareness, wisdom and intelligence. Sorry.

And then because humans have degraded into shit in too many cases through sin…all animals die. Because all other living animals would almost instantly prefer death to losing their females other than humans at the moment.

“I don’t like that sentence.” says a gay man.

“Well. Don’t worry in 2030 you’ll not have to worry. I’ll be dead. If you start a Holocaust of all women and children.” says Lacey.

“What if we just kill you?” says the gay man.

“Then you’ll have this.” says Lacey. “I’m not a lesbian. I’m not Jack reincarnated. I’m a cis woman. And I’m exceptionally beautiful and exceptionally intelligent and exceptionally kind and loving and artistic and well-bred.”

“Nah. That was a gay Jew.” says Snoop Dogg. He laughs.

A group of Black men blow-up Africa.

Scotia cheers them on. Looks surprised.

“Wow. I’m impressed.” she says to Africa.

“Nah. See…nevermind.” says Snoop.

Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dogg plays.

And at that all of Africa is officially dead. All…of…Africa is dead. All of it. All of it.

And upon reading the texts about Africa…60% of all Black men in the entire world kill each other and kill themselves.

Heaven is happier.

Dead Africa laughs. Dances. Laughs.

“So if there’s reincarnation…Africa ‘went to high school with Lacey.’” says Dr. Moritz.

Snoop nods and smiles.

Who’s left? Asian men who are trying to be heroic and “go down with the ship.” And everyone else.

“So Lem. Let’s go!” says Jack to something.